Productive

From the beginning #2

“We will be moving you to Tintern hall within the hour, is there anything I can do or get you before you leave?” Doctor Keat asked over the chart without looking at me, I looked to the nurse but she was avoiding eye contact with me, “can I see my mum please”, all I could think about was the chicken casserole, I wanted to tell her to still make it for my dad, “I’m afraid Miss Fisher that will not be possible we are on a tight schedule and your mother has already been informed of the results and is most likely on her way home”, I will not cry, I will not cry I kept telling myself but my eyes betrayed me and the tear’s slowly started to fall, the nurse handed me a tissue and stepped back to where she was standing. “Do you have any questions for me?” I had thousands of questions for him, what a stupid question to ask when you have just told someone they are basically being taken from their life to get knocked up and have their baby taken away and then God knows what! I shook my head, “alright, if you would please follow nurse Kim, she will take you to the transportation room for a final check and sedation”, Dr Keat instructed as he stood and nodded to nurse Kim, “wait! sedation? Why am”, “it’s a long trip to Tintern hall its only so you can relax and sleep for the journey its nothing to worry about”, he smiled to reassure me, but it didn’t.

Doctor Keat gave me another smile and left the room, “if you could follow me Miss Fisher” nurse Kim asked, confused I stood and followed her out the door and down an overly bright hallway, at the end she turned to the left to an elevator and pushed the down button. “What is going to happen to me?” looking sideways at nurse Kim to see if she would answer, the elevator pinged and the doors opened, nurse Kim extended her hand towards the elevator meaning for me to get in, I stepped in and turned as she was inserting a key and turning it to the letter P, the doors closed, and we descended. I asked her again and once again she didn’t not respond.

The elevator stopped and the doors opened once more, I followed nurse Kim across the hallway to a set of double metal doors and an intercom on the wall, the nurse pressed the call button and waited, “yes” came a reply in the intercom, “Miss Fisher is here for transportation to Tintern hall”, there was a loud buzz and nurse Kim pushed one of the double doors, “please step inside where you will be met by someone to get you ready for your journey to Tintern hall, thank you for your service you are helping to save the world”, the way she said this was in such a robotic way I could tell she didn’t truly believe what she was saying, I had to laugh out loud then said with more confidence than I felt, “like i have a f*****g choice”, I step through the door looked over my shoulder as the door was swinging shut to give nurse Kim the dirtiest look I could muster then continued forward into what I can only remember as looking like an airport departure lounge.

A friendly voice welcomed me, “welcome Miss Fisher, my name is Tom, and I will be issuing your sedation in a few minutes, if you could just take a seat, I will be with you shortly”, Tom started to turn when I blurted, “what if I don’t want sedation? You can’t make me do something I don’t want to”, tom stopped and turned back to me, “I’m afraid it is mandatory, please take a seat”, his tone was more stern and it matched the look on his face, I sat and that was when I noticed another girl sitting in the corner, she was dressed in the same scrubs as me, she had short blonde hair and a face full of freckles she didn’t look 16 but much younger, her head was slightly bowed and her hands were joined on her lap like she was praying, “are you productive as well?” I asked she looked up and gave a grim smile and nodded, “No talking please ladies” tom had returned, “Samantha if you could follow me and quickly we are running behind, it’s been a while since we had two in one day”, Tom says in a cheery voice like it was Christmas morning, the girl named Samantha stood and followed tom to a side room, she entered and tom closed the door and walked to the next open door, “Elanor in here please” he gestured. I got to my feet and so desperately wanted to leg it but there was nowhere for me to run, I walked as slowly as I could knowing it would piss him off, as I got closer to the room I lifted my head high and looked down my nose at him as I entered the room, he entered behind me, “if you could sit on the bed I need to check your blood pressure and temperature, then add the sedation to your IV”, once he had finished he placed a hand on my shoulder and gently pushed me to lay down, “ the sedation should work quickly, your eyes will start to feel heavy and become extremely tired and then slowly drift off, I will be back once I have finished with Samantha to make sure it has worked”, he said reassuringly, “and if it hasn’t worked” I questioned, “I will give you a little top up and that should do the trick”, he patted my shoulder and left the room.

As I lay there my emotions start to go into over drive, I feel more tears on my face and all I can think of is my parents, my mum having to drive home and break the news to my dad or was my mum still outside demanding to see me and that they had made a mistake, I couldn’t do this I didn’t want to be used as a baby factory, I didn’t even want to have children, I had grown up believing that it was impossible and that suited me just fine. at some point I must have fallen asleep as the next thing I remember was waking up in a large room with 20 other beds, the girl Samantha in the bed next to me still sleeping.