A Freak Friday Kind Of Week

Desire Was A Trademark

The day sent forth a miserable cry from within. From all four corners, from every island in the Pacific. Love was a game, you see. There was a winner and a loser in this game. No wonder love was considered a battle ground, a war. It hurts to be on the losing end of this battle. Ouch, I want my mommy. Too bad she wasn't the referee. I never heard about bad things, not first-hand. I seen somethings, bad things, like murder. Oh, how I wounded myself in this battle, I knew it from the start. Why didn't I try to stop when I simply could. Turn and walk away from it unscathed. Too easy, eh. I hear things about the bombs and explosives, but still I stay. Waiting to lose it all. Why is life so hard to live sometimes? Regrets and all apologies. Me, I never even tried to get away. I will always regret not saying anything in my defense. I could have won then, if I had. The day you came back to stay was the end. Had to be. The end. Sacra bleu! Freedom is just another word for losing. I lost it that day, my composure, my hidden life, my object of desire, my longing, my strife. Dear Fear, I feel I know you. Like we met before, on a crowded bus or a crowded ball field. Was that in 1987? Or was it 88? Aron pigeon-holed me into saying I loved him everyday, at least thirteen times before going to bed. He surely did. It was the best time of my life ever, the only time I ever knew. And I let him be aron. He lived like aron, a throne, a few diamonds, bushels of gold. It was a giving thing, you know, like a fruit basket or a honey ham. Fresh from the farm. Born to be alive! He made me feel like I was honey and sugar all wrapped up in one. He said you know what you like, baby, what you love. I did. It was all him, nude, dressed, in pajamas, it made no difference to me. Fat, skinny, bald or with hair down to there. He was my love, either way. He knew it! He said, jessie, I sure love everything about you, your messy blond hair, your sense of style, your choice of music, your wild wide-eyed take on things left unsaid, your impeccable timing and your ability to make the right choice everytime. The kids sure had fun with you in charge of Flag Day. Pirates! Never knew a pirate could wear such scantily clad outfit.