Dark Woods

Chapter 16

I sprinted across the open grass field where we'd been training, the morning sun beating down on me as I gulped down the fresh air. My lungs burned, but I didn't give a s**t. I needed to get away from all those eyes, all those questions, all the fear I'd seen in Marcus's face when he'd looked at me like I was some kind of monster.

Maybe I was.

My feet carried me without thinking, away from the training area, toward the tree line where I could disappear, where I could think, where I could figure out what the hell was happening to me. The phantom taste of blood still lingered in my mouth, and I could feel the wounds from my vision like they were real, like they were still bleeding.

I was so focused on running, on escaping, that I didn't see the figure until it was too late.

I slammed directly into a solid wall of muscle and warmth.

The impact should've sent me sprawling, but strong hands caught my shoulders, steadying me before I could fall backward. The familiar scent hit me immediately—pine and something wild and masculine that made every cell in my body sit up and take notice even through my panic.

No. No, no, no.

Gabriel.

Fuck. Of all the people I could run into right now, it had to be him. The same hands that had touched me so gently that night, the same eyes that had looked at me like I was everything while he was inside me.

I looked up to find those piercing eyes staring down at me with a mixture of surprise and something else—concern? But that couldn't be right. Gabriel Preston didn't care about me. Gabriel Preston had made that crystal clear when he'd taken my virginity and then immediately started his parade of blondes and brunettes.

"Jasmine?" His voice was deeper than I remembered, rougher. Like he'd been smoking or screaming or... doing things with other girls that I didn't want to think about. His hands were still on my shoulders, and I could feel the warmth of them through my training clothes. The mate bond I'd been trying to ignore for months suddenly roared to life, sending sparks of electricity through my entire body. "What—"

"Let me go." The words came out harsher than I meant, but I couldn't deal with this. Not now. Not when I could still taste blood in my mouth and feel the phantom cold of the Everdeen Woods clinging to my skin. Not when the physical pain from months of his betrayals was still eating me alive from the inside. Not when being this close to him made me remember how it felt to have him whispering my name while he moved inside me.

But he didn't let go. Instead, his grip got tighter, and I realized he was studying my face with this intensity that made me want to both run and lean into his touch at the same time. The mate bond was screaming at me to get closer, to touch him, to claim what was mine. But I knew better now. I knew he'd just throw me away again.

His eyes were different than I remembered. There were dark circles under them, like he hadn't been sleeping. His jaw was rougher, like he'd been clenching it. And there was something in his expression that I couldn't quite read—something that looked almost like... pain?

No. I was not going to do this. I was not going to read into every little expression and convince myself that Gabriel Preston gave a s**t about me. I'd made that mistake before.

"You're bleeding," he said quietly, his thumb brushing across my split knuckles. The simple touch sent electricity shooting up my arm, and I had to bite back a gasp. It was the same gentle touch he'd used that night, the same careful way he'd traced patterns on my skin while we'd caught our breath.

"I said let me go." I tried to pull away, but my body betrayed me, leaning slightly into his warmth instead of away from it. This was exactly what I'd been afraid of—that even after everything he'd done, I'd still be weak for him.

"Gabriel!" A voice called from the direction of the main pack house. "The meeting's about to start. Your father and Alpha Thomas are waiting."

I recognized the voice—it was Jake, Gabriel's father's Beta, probably wondering where his future alpha had wandered off to. The reminder of who Gabriel was, what he was destined to become, sent a fresh wave of pain through my chest. Future alpha of the Black Eclipse pack. What the hell had I been thinking that night? That he'd actually want someone like me?

Gabriel's jaw tightened, but his eyes never left my face. "Something's wrong," he said, and it wasn't a question.

"A lot of things are wrong," I snapped, finally finding my voice. "But none of them are your problem."

"Jasmine—"

"Don't." I shook my head, trying to ignore the way my name sounded in his voice. "Just don't, Gabriel. You don't get to look at me like that. You don't get to touch me like you care. Not after—"

I cut myself off before I could finish the sentence. Not after you took my virginity and then immediately started f*****g other girls. Not after you made me feel like I was special and then threw me away like garbage.

The concern in his voice, the way he was looking at me like I mattered—it was too much. After months of watching him with other women, of convincing myself that our night together had meant nothing to him, I couldn't handle this gentle version of Gabriel. Not when I was already falling apart. Not when I knew he'd been destroying me piece by piece with every meaningless hookup since he'd had me in the back of his car.

"After what?" he asked, and there was something in his voice that made my chest tighten. Something that sounded almost like... confusion? Like he genuinely didn't know what he'd done to me.

But that was impossible. He had to know. He had to understand what it meant to be with someone and then immediately move on to other people. He had to know that every girl he'd touched since that night had been like a knife to my heart.

"Nothing," I said, finally managing to wrench myself free from his grip. The loss of contact felt like a physical ache, but I forced myself to step back. The mate bond protested violently, sending a sharp pain through my chest that made me gasp. "I'm fine."

"You're not fine," he said, and he stepped closer, like he was gonna reach for me again. "You're shaking. And you're hurt. What happened?"

"What happened?" I laughed, but it came out bitter and broken. "What happened is that I'm slowly losing my mind, Gabriel. I'm having visions that make me attack people. I'm waking up screaming every night from nightmares that feel more real than reality. I'm in constant physical pain for reasons I can't explain. And you—"

I stopped myself again. I couldn't tell him about the mate bond. I couldn't tell him that every time he touched another woman, I felt like I was dying. I couldn't tell him that the nightmares had gotten worse since that night we'd shared, like my subconscious was trying to punish me for giving myself to someone who didn't want me.

"And I what?" he pressed, taking another step closer. "Jasmine, talk to me. What's going on?"

"Gabriel!" Jake's voice was closer now, more insistent. "We need to go. Now."

Gabriel's eyes flashed with irritation, but he didn't turn away from me. "I'm not done here."

"Yes, you are," I said, forcing strength into my voice that I didn't feel. "You are so done here. You've been done with me for months, remember? So just go. Go to your meeting. Go be the perfect future alpha. Go find another blonde to f**k in a cheap motel. Just leave me alone."

The words hit him like a physical blow. I watched his face go pale, watched his eyes widen with something that looked like shock and... hurt? But that couldn't be right. Gabriel Preston didn't get hurt by words from girls like me.

"Jasmine—"

"I said I'm fine!" The words came out louder than I meant, sharp with pain and frustration. "Just... just go to your meeting, Gabriel. Go be the perfect future Alpha with your father. Pretend you never saw me."

Like you've been doing for months anyway.

Before he could respond, before the hurt that flashed across his features could weaken my resolve, I turned and ran. This time, I didn't look back, even though I could feel his eyes on me until I disappeared into the trees.

My legs carried me through the woods, my feet finding the familiar paths I'd run as a kid. The trees provided cover from the sun and from any potential followers, though I doubted Gabriel would chase after me. He had more important things to do than deal with a crazy girl who was slowly losing her mind.

I ran until my lungs burned, until my legs felt like jelly, until I was sure I was far enough away from the pack house that no one would find me. Then I finally stopped, leaning against this massive oak tree and trying to catch my breath.

The bark was rough against my back, grounding me in reality. I wasn't in the Everdeen Woods. I wasn't bleeding out. I wasn't being hunted by creatures with gravelly voices. I was just me, Jasmine Armstrong, having a complete breakdown in the middle of the Winter Moon territory.

I slid down the tree trunk until I was sitting on the forest floor, my head in my hands. The encounter with Gabriel had shaken me more than I wanted to admit. The way he'd looked at me, the concern in his voice, the gentleness of his touch—it had brought back every memory of that night we'd shared.

The way he'd kissed me like I was precious. The way he'd touched me like he was afraid I'd break. The way he'd whispered my name like it was a prayer when he'd been inside me. The way he'd held me afterward, his arms wrapped around me like he never wanted to let me go.

And then he'd let me go. He'd walked away the next morning like it had meant nothing. Like I had meant nothing.

I pressed my palms against my eyes, trying to stop the tears that were threatening to fall. I couldn't keep doing this. I couldn't keep falling apart every time I thought about him. I couldn't keep letting the mate bond control my life.

But I also couldn't keep pretending that I was fine. The visions were getting worse. The nightmares were getting more frequent. And now I was physically attacking people without even realizing it. Something was seriously wrong with me, and I didn't know how to fix it.

My phone buzzed in my pocket, and I pulled it out to see a text from my dad: "Meeting's running long. Can you get a ride home?"

Perfect. The last thing I wanted was to go back to the pack house and face more questions. I quickly typed back: "Already home. Don't worry."

It was a lie, but it was easier than explaining why I was sitting in the middle of the woods having a breakdown.

I leaned my head back against the tree and closed my eyes, trying to center myself. The forest was quiet except for the sound of birds chirping and leaves rustling in the breeze. It was peaceful, nothing like the terrifying landscape of my visions.

But even in the peaceful quiet, I could still smell Gabriel's scent on my clothes. Still feel the warmth of his hands on my shoulders. Still hear the confusion in his voice when he'd asked "after what?"

Did he really not know what he'd done to me? Was it possible that he was so disconnected from his own actions that he didn't realize how much he'd hurt me? Or was he just that good at pretending?

I didn't know which option was worse.

My phone buzzed again, and I looked down to see a text from an unknown number: "We need to talk. -G"

Gabriel. Somehow he'd gotten my number.

I stared at the message for a long moment, my heart racing. Part of me wanted to respond, wanted to tell him everything—about the mate bond, about the pain, about how every day without him felt like slowly dying. But the rational part of my brain, the part that remembered all the rumors about his hookups, told me to delete the message and block his number.

Instead, I typed back: "No, we don't."

His response came immediately: "Yes, we do. Something's wrong, and I want to help."

I laughed bitterly. Help. Right. The same way he'd helped me that night by making me feel like I was the only girl in the world and then immediately proving that I wasn't.

"You want to help?" I typed back. "Then stay away from me."

I turned off my phone before he could respond and shoved it back in my pocket. I couldn't deal with this right now. I couldn't handle Gabriel's sudden concern, especially when I knew it wouldn't last. He'd go back to his regular life, his meetings, his hookups, and I'd be left alone with my pain and my visions and my slowly deteriorating sanity.

But the worst part was how good it had felt to be in his arms again, even for just a moment. How right it had felt, despite everything I knew about what he'd been doing. How my body still remembered the way he'd touched me that night, gentle and reverent, like I was something precious.

Before he'd thrown me away like I was nothing. Before he'd made me feel like giving him my virginity was the biggest mistake of my life.

I sat in the woods for another hour, trying to pull myself together, trying to figure out how to face the world when I felt like I was falling apart. When I finally made my way home, my mother took one look at me and wrapped me in a hug without asking any questions.

"Bad day?" she asked quietly.

"The worst," I admitted, and for once, I wasn't lying.

At least until the next nightmare came. At least until the next time I nearly killed someone during a vision. At least until I finally lost whatever was left of my sanity.

I was so f****d.