Dark Woods

Chapter 14

It was Saturday morning when I woke up just before sunrise, jolted from another nightmare that left my throat raw and my sheets soaked in cold sweat. The same f*****g dream—bleeding out in Everdeen Forest while that man's voice screamed my name. I'd been having these nightmares for months now, long before Gabriel Preston decided to rip my heart out, but they'd gotten worse since then. More vivid. More desperate.

I rushed downstairs wearing a black hoodie and workout shorts, desperate for the physical exhaustion that had become my only escape from the constant ache in my chest. The mate bond pain had been getting worse over the past few months—every time Gabriel hooked up with another girl, my body felt like it was being torn apart from the inside.

Every day since I'd found out the truth about what Gabriel was doing to me—and what our night together had actually meant to him—I'd been training with my father and the Winter Moon pack warriors. The sessions were brutal, but I craved the burn in my muscles, the way my mind went blissfully blank when I focused on nothing but survival. It was the only time the physical pain from the severed mate bond seemed to fade, replaced by the good kind of pain that came from pushing my body to its limits.

It was the only time I could forget how it felt to have him inside me, whispering my name like a prayer, only to throw me away the next morning like I was nothing.

I especially loved seeing Nick's shocked face whenever I beat him during practice fights—one of the few things that could still make me smile these days. Though even that felt hollow now, like I was just going through the motions of being the person I used to be.

My father usually trained me and my sister at home, but training at the Winter Moon pack house was completely different. The intensity, the stakes, the way grown warriors looked at me with grudging respect when I held my own. He didn't normally make me join pack training because he worried about putting his daughter in danger. Even though most of the pack was loyal, there were still some bad wolves who would do anything to destroy us.

I'd started fighting at an early age, all thanks to the bullies I'd faced in middle school. Back then, I'd learned to stand up for myself out of necessity. Since then, the bullies had never once looked in my direction—probably because they'd grown tired of trips to the pack hospital for broken noses and arms. Fighting had been survival then. Now it was the only thing keeping me from completely falling apart.

The short drive to the Winter Moon pack house was quiet since I wasn't a morning person, and my father knew better than to try to make conversation when I looked like I'd rather tear something apart with my bare hands. When we arrived, I followed him to the training grounds, my body already thrumming with restless energy and that constant underlying ache that never went away.

The training area was an open space with four large rubber mats in the center, surrounded by a military-style obstacle course and an indoor gym for the warriors and other pack members to use. Most werewolves didn't really need to exercise since they stayed in perfect shape thanks to their werewolf genes and fast metabolism, but I'd discovered that pushing my human body to its limits was the only way to quiet the chaos in my head.

"Jasmine, I need to go to the alpha's office for a meeting," my father said, his eyes lingering on the dark circles under my eyes that seemed to get worse every day. I caught him doing that a lot lately—studying my face like he was trying to figure out what was wrong with me.

"Okay, Dad, but you'll still give me a ride home, right?" I asked, hoping the meeting wouldn't take long. The thought of being stranded here, of potentially running into certain people, made my stomach clench. Not that Gabriel would be here—this was Winter Moon territory, and he was too busy f*****g his way through Black Eclipse to show his face around here.

"Don't worry, honey, it won't take long," my father said while giving me a small hug, his concern evident in the way he held me just a beat too long. "I'll see you after training. Try to go easy on the others, okay?"

As I watched my father walk toward the pack house, I could see Alpha Keaton and Nick heading toward the fighting mats. I guess the new alpha and beta will be training us today. This should be interesting, I thought, grateful for any distraction from the constant ache in my chest. I decided to do a few warm-up exercises before joining the others at the training mat, stretching muscles that were perpetually tense these days.

While I was stretching, I heard footsteps approaching. I turned to see who it was, and immediately felt a stab of pain as I watched Nick approach. He looked happy—genuinely happy in a way that made my chest tighten with jealousy. Of course he was happy. He had Kylie. He had his mate.

"Hey, Armstrong, you're here bright and early," said a shirtless Nick.

"Hey, Nick. Yeah, just here to train with my dad, but he has a meeting or something," I said with a shrug, trying to keep my voice steady. The physical pain was building again, that familiar pressure in my chest that meant Gabriel was probably waking up next to another girl.

"You ready to get your butt kicked?" Nick said with a grin, but I could see the concern in his eyes. He'd been looking at me like that a lot lately—like I was a broken thing he didn't know how to fix.

"You couldn't kick my butt even if you wanted to, Deluca, but keep trying. You'll get there one day," I said, forcing some of my old sass into my voice. It felt like putting on an old costume that didn't fit anymore.

"Hey, guys, the training is about to start," said Alpha Keaton through mind link.

"Race you?" Nick said, but his smile didn't reach his eyes. He was worried about me—I could see it in the way he was trying too hard to act normal.

"You're on," I replied. "Loser has to do a thousand push-ups?"

"You're on!" Nick said, but I caught him exchanging a look with Keaton. They were both watching me like I might break at any second.

One second, we were looking at each other, and the next thing I knew, I was sprinting toward Alpha Keaton. I ran like my life depended on it, like I could outrun the pain that was always there, always reminding me that my mate was out there destroying us both. We were neck and neck, and I pushed myself harder than I should have, my lungs burning, my muscles screaming.

Just as we crossed the finish line, we both turned to look at Alpha Keaton, waiting for him to announce the winner of our little race. The wait was killing me, and Keaton really seemed to be taking his sweet time.

"Come on, who won that?" Nick asked while trying to catch his breath. Keaton laughed lightly as he stood in front of us both with a smile.

"Sorry, Nick, but I have to give it to Jasmine. She won that," Keaton said.

"Yeah, that's right, Deluca. I guess you owe me a thousand push-ups," I said, but even my victory felt hollow. Everything felt hollow these days.

"Aw, come on, man. You gave that to her because she's a girl, but trust me, the way she fights, she's definitely not a girl," Nick complained, but there was no real heat in it. He was just trying to make me laugh.

"Hey!" I said as I slapped him on the back of the head, but gentler than I used to. I didn't have the energy for our usual roughhousing.

"Ouch, that hurt," Nick said, rubbing the back of his head with exaggerated drama.

"Don't be sexist. Just take the loss and bow out gracefully," I said with raised eyebrows. "Besides, what's the big deal anyway? You've been losing to me for years, and you think you can beat me in a little race. Just face it, Nick—I'll always win."

The words came out automatically, but they felt empty. I used to mean them. I used to believe in my own strength, my own ability to win. Now I felt like I was losing a battle I didn't even understand.

"Yeah, you only won because someone needs to get their eyes checked," Nick muttered under his breath.

"What was that?" Keaton said, grinning dangerously. "Care to repeat yourself, Deluca?"

"Nothing! I said nothing. Oh, would you look at that—here come the warriors. I should help them with their stretches," Nick said in a panicked tone and hurried over to the warriors coming out of the gym.

I tried to laugh at Nick's cowardice, but it came out forced. Keaton was watching me with those sharp alpha eyes, and I could tell he was picking up on the fact that something was seriously wrong with me. The last thing I needed was more people asking questions I couldn't answer.

"You okay, Jasmine?" Keaton asked quietly. "You seem... different lately."

"I'm fine," I lied, the same lie I'd been telling everyone for months. "Just tired."

But we both knew it was bullshit. I wasn't fine. I was falling apart, piece by piece, and I didn't know how to stop it.

The mate bond pain flared again, sharp and vicious, and I had to bite my lip to keep from gasping. Somewhere across town, Gabriel was probably starting his day the same way he'd been starting them for months—with someone who wasn't me.