I Fell in Love With my Best Friend

Lilah POV

"Alex," I whisper-shouted. "I'm sorry!" He looked at me and his coffee eyes were filled with sorrow and regret. He shook his head and opened his mouth to say something when a car slammed into the passenger side where I was. Thankfully, it hit the back seats, not that that saved him.

Screaming, I shot up in bed. I had no clue where I was or even when it was. It was bright, but I couldn't see anything but Alexei looking at me with those sorrow filled eyes. The door slammed open and I heard two different voices calling my name, but I couldn't stop screaming. I felt strong arms wrap around me carefully and hold me tight.

One voice said, "She had the dream again."

That was Lilly, so that means the next voice had to be Jason's as he said, "What do I need to do, Lil? I hate seeing her like this."

I was sobbing, but I had stopped screaming, thankfully. "I don't know, Jase. She's grieving."

He growled slightly. "It's been almost a year, Lillyana! How much longer is she going to be walking up screaming? How much longer do I have to see her getting thinner and thinner?"

She hissed, "Jason! Get it together! She just needs time."

She wasn't wrong. After Alexei, I couldn't get out of bed for a couple of months. Lilly was beyond worried. I would barely eat and spent every possible moment either sleeping or crying in darkness. I absolutely couldn't look out my window. I mean, Alex and I would stay up late many nights talking to each other from our windows.

When Lilly was able to convince me to leave my room, she immediately worked on convincing me to move. After about a month or so, she finally convinced me. Our brother Jason had moved to Russia a year prior for work, so that's where we decided to go. We moved after we got all the proper documents put together a couple months later. Lilly and Jason spent the next four months making sure I ate and trying to convince me to go back to school. I finally agreed about a week ago, but only because Lilly refused to go back after I stopped going until I resumed school. Today was the first day for me and her and it wasn't starting off good.

I breathed in through my nose and out through my mouth several times until I could breathe properly and I was no longer crying. Lilly smiled and squeezed me tight before pulling out our school uniforms. They were cute at least. I got dressed methodically and looked in our full length mirror. The outfit was adorable and I felt pretty again. I didn't feel sickly thin anymore. It was a plaid blazer and pleated skirt combo that was a pretty orchid and black color combo. The undershirt was turquoise with a purple neck bow thing kind of like school uniforms in animes. I had turquoise stockings that went up to my knees and paired the whole outfit with my favorite black boots that went halfway to my knees.

Alexei would have loved this outfit on me. I snapped out of my reverie when Lilly walked up to the mirror. We were twins. No one ever could tell us apart, except Alex. It was hard sometimes but at least I could always say I was pretty since my sister was. She handed me a necklace and I smiled with tears in my eyes.

She smiled encouragingly and softly said, "He may not be here, but he would want you to wear it. You know he asked you to wear it on every big change."

I smiled and nodded before letting her put it on me. It was a small dragon that Alex had got me when I was 12 in order to symbolize my strength to move forward no matter what. It was a year since I last wore it. I whispered, "It's fitting that I wear it today. You're right."

Jason knocked on the door just then and said, "Time to go girls. You look so beautiful."

We smiled at him and followed him to the car. I remained silent as much as possible, but today was going to be hard. I stared out the office window as the random person blabbed on and on explaining our schedules. Lilly shrieking is what snapped me out of my reverie. She shrieked, "What do you mean I won't have any classes with my sister?!"

The nameless person said, "It's our school's policy that twins be in different classes. I apologize for any inconveniences."

Lilly started to protest, but I said, "It's fine, Lil. I'll be okay."

She leaned back pouting as the other person continued. I zoned out yet again, going over my dream again and again. The person finally said, "Let's get you to your classes, girls." We nodded and followed her. She dropped Lilly off first and then I followed her to my classroom. She went outside and said to the teacher, "Your new student, Lilah Volkofsky."

The teacher, I was too out of it to notice anything other than the gender, smiled encouragingly at me as she said, "Welcome! Would you like to tell the class a little bit about yourself?" I shook my head. "Alright, Lilah. I understand. How about you go sit over there in the back next to Rolfe?"

I did as I was asked and continued to zone out for the rest of the day for the most part. The person I sat next to, Rolfe, led me to the rest of my classes until lunch. I finally got to see Lilly, but I refused to eat anything. I sat there listening to her babble about her classes when I heard someone call our names. I looked up in time to see that guy from the store yesterday coming toward us.

He was good looking guy. Even in my fugue, I couldn't help noticing him. I mean, he looked kind of like Alex, so it makes sense. He had sun kissed skin, chocolate eyes as deep and dark as a freshly brewed cup of coffee, full lips, and long dark brown hair that was curly and messy. He looked to be about 6'5" and was definitely muscular under his uniform. His uniform was the inverse of the girls' uniform and it suited him perfectly. He was talking to Lilly and his friend about classes, but I couldn't make out the words he was saying. All I could tell you was that his voice was rich like honey.

"Lilah," I heard Lilly ask gently. I looked up at her and made a little hm sound. "Jackson here asked you a question."

So his name was Jackson. It fit him somehow. I looked at him and he asked me again what classes I had the rest of the day. I wordlessly passed him my schedule flinching slightly as his skin brushed mine and my sleeve slid up to reveal my tattoo and scars. I also felt that same weird spark that I had felt at the store yesterday.

His eyes softened when he saw it and he said soft enough that only we would hear, "I'm not sure what happened, but I hope it gets better for you."

I smiled gently. "Thank you."

He looked at me slightly surprised and then said, "I have most of these classes with you. I missed the first couple today, but I can walk you to your next one if you want."

Lilly nudged me gently and I nodded. I was just so numb. Thankfully gym was next. I could finally feel something. I shoved my food over to Lilly and choked back another sob before gently rubbing my tattoo. Jackson clucked his tongue and stood up holding his hand out for me to help me up. He led me all the way to the gym hovering ever so slightly just in case.

The gym teacher smiled brightly as he saw me. He said, "You must be my new start pupil!" Jackson looked at me confused as I shrugged. "Well, how about you guys go get changed and then we can start practice."

I followed the other girls to the changing room and methodically switched to my gym clothes. While all the other girls wore gym shorts and short T-shirts, I had on a pair of sweatpants and a tank top. I was uncomfortable showing that much skin to everyone, but I needed to in order to exercise properly. I followed them back out and immediately felt everyone's eyes on me as I pulled my hair up into a ponytail. I know everyone was looking at my cuts and scars and my tattoo, but this was the one class I didn't care.

The teacher called out from the front of the class, "Lilah?" I stepped forward slightly. "I've been informed of your background and have everything prepared."

He pointed behind him towards the mats and sparring dummies. I grinned sadly and said, "It's been awhile, sir."

He nodded. "Help yourself."

I nodded and made my way over to my starting point. I slowly did my stretches and breathing exercises and tuned everyone else out. I know they were still staring and curious, but I still didn't care. I leapt at the dummies and began my martial arts routine.