Returning Home

Chapter 10 - Pain and Misery

POV - Axel

Ever since returning to the pack a day a go I've been arguing with my father and even Jake who for some reason is saying very similar things to my father.

dad will say it's for the best son. She's a wolfless b***h. No good for the throne.

and Jake will say it's time to give in and admit it wasn't meant to be. She is wolfless she won't care. She is best off where she is.

they're not the exact same but they are adamant I give up and choose Dee. I get they are both Jakes sister's so he has love for them both but surely he knows Dee is a manipulative power hungry b***h.

Amelia has been keeping me up to date on Felix. I wish I could keep and eye on her. She's in so much pain. It only makes my pain worse but then I remember she can feel what I feel and I try to stay calm sending love through the bond and trying to show her I love her.

Father and Jake both asked that I not retract the statement from the papers and leave the announcement out to avoid and 'bad' blood while my 'alleged' mate is no where to be seen. They think it will cause unnecessary chaos over the next three years. I just worry when I have a mate I am trying to win back if everyone thinks I care for Dee. Does it hurt her. or is she in pain just because I am in pain.

I don't want to cause her pain but misery loves company.

POV - Felix

between the guilt and heart ache there are moments of love. But who are they for...

His announcement about having Dee as Luna is still live. No changes. So I can only assume that the feelings are for her. Now that I am gone and out of the picture he is free to pursue his love for Dee. I am just dreading the hurt which will come from their mating.

Amelia has been a great help other than her eyes matching his she brings me great comfort. She has tried to briefly talk on the matter and I just told her I am not ready.

Today we go in to pick up our class schedules and finalize any paperwork we need to do. There is a bit of a tour also and a chance to meet some of our classmates.

"After the first week of class we will hold a big party I think. it gives enough time to actually invite people and we can finally have Lilly over. She has been bugging me about you ignoring her but she knows you have just been preoccupied with... other matters" she winced as she said the last part as if I am so fragile I will break on impact with the topic of Axel Wood. Which might be right but I need to be use to it I can't avoid this s**t forever.

"I've missed just the girls being together. I'll call her tonight make sure there is no bad blood" i feel like she's been pushed aside between everything as has James which is unfortunate but at least with James I know Amelia is keeping him entertained. "I am glad James decided to move in here. I had a bet running with myself that you wouldn't last two days separated when you have a big lonely king bed here." she hit the back of my head making me choaking laugh spluttering up everywhere as she laughed at me giving me the evil eye.

"Yeah yeah princess. I know we are dirty little wolves with no control... no need for the judgement." i know she has shared my story with James because everytime we meet he gives me looks of pitty. "Felix. Are you okay... really. I know we haven't talked about it all and you're not ready to get into it but is Ferra there with you through this..."

"Ferra has gone dormant even to me... She... I balmed her and she left me." I said with unshed tears building up "please don't leave me too Amelia... I can't keep losing those close to me..." i whispered.

"I would never dream of leaving you" she kissed my head and smoothed down my hair.

"thank you..."

hours later around lunch we headed to campus. after our tour we sat in a circle with a few class mates from our form class. This class is something put together as a safe place to allow for somewhere to discuss and report any issues relating to species. Though we are fairly modern people's some of us, especially those from older groups (elder vampires for example) still have issues with others due to some f****d up bigotry. After the great war this was mostly erased from society but realistically it just went under ground. There are still big groups of people who are out for blood. Human hunters, vampires who hate dirty dogs like me and wolves who think yes everyone is equal after wolves. It's painful for those trapped in the cross fire which is why we still need these safe spaces.

"My name is Philip" a young boy who looked to be about 13 said. He looked up and his pale skin and red eyes gave away that he is a turned vampire. there are born vampires who age up untill 25 or so before freezing and turned who stay the age they were turned forever. I can't believe he was turned so young... "I am 20 though I look 13 forever. it is painful but I am actually here working with a coven as a part of their masters thesis in age to see if we can get me aged up to 25. we are on our 3rd year trying... so wish me luck. Outside of that I am studying to become a chef. I don't eat for fuel obviously but cooking is a passion of mine. And I am a very passionate man" he winked at me as he finished his sentence. which made me vaguely uncomfortable, party because he looks like a young boy and partly because I am in love with another.

"Hello I am Felix. I am a wolfless she wolf and I am here to study Forestry to help with the pack business and I'm excited to learn a bit more about what it's like outside of the packs." I got looks of pitty even from the tiny adult boy who winked at me early. I wish he had kept being greasy much better than pitty.

the rest of the group about 6 of us including myself and Amelia went on to introduce themselves. At the end Amelia clapped to get everyone's attention and beamed at as all.

"do you all have social media. Let's add each other. not this Saturday but the following Felix and I are having a little house warming party and I'd hate for you to miss it." everyone smiled back and we started exchanging details about out usernames and such to make sure we were all going to be able to stay in contact.

I was glad to meet everyone though I wasn't going to easily remember everyone yet I would likely only remember the boy or... erm... Philip I guess... He seemed nice though like fun. and I am sure once he is out of his teens in regards to looks he will seem a lot less creepy. or am I the creepy one in this scenario for talking to him...

It's not like I'm gonna hook up with him. Oh goddess no. no I'm not creepy. f**k haha. I laughed to myself out loud getting a few dodgy looks from my classmates. I guess maybe not creepy but at the very least crazy. for someone without a wolf I sure have a lot of internal dialogue.

At least the pain and misery was numbed a little while here...