Cold World

Identity Crisis

The gentle Manila morning shattered as Terisha, Aria's two-year-old niece, launched her enthusiastic wake-up campaign.

"Tita Aria! Wake up!" Terisha called out, her tiny voice filled with toddler urgency.

Aria cracked open an eye, squinting at the clock: 10:30 AM. Before she could fully process the time, Terisha decided more drastic measures were needed. The little girl catapulted onto the bed, landing squarely on Aria's chest.

"Ugh!" Aria grunted, the wind knocked out of her.

"Tap out!" Terisha yelped, clearly relishing her role as a human alarm clock.

"Darling, I'm awake," Aria managed, rubbing her chest. "You can go down now."

"Are you sure?" Terisha asked, skepticism clear in her voice.

"Yes, dear. Tita is sure."

But Terisha wasn't convinced. "You're not! You're not!" she insisted, punctuating each declaration with a small fist to Aria's arm.

Just as Aria was contemplating a tickle counterattack, Jane's voice cut through the commotion. "Terisha! Go down and entertain them with your 'Nobody, Nobody' dance moves."

Terisha scampered off, leaving Aria to catch her breath. Jane closed the door and turned to Aria with an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry for my baby girl's actions."

"I don't mind, Ate Jane," Aria said, rubbing her arm where a bruise was already forming. "She may be violent, but she's sweet!"

Jane's eyes widened at the sight of the bruise. "That's what I'm talking about. I'll go get some ice."

"No need-," Aria started, but Jane was already gone. "Never mind," she sighed at the empty room.

Deciding that further sleep was a lost cause, Aria made her way downstairs. Terisha cheered at her appearance, latching onto Aria's legs like an enthusiastic koala. Aria managed to extract herself long enough to pull out a wooden chair and sit next to Junior, her cousin who was a year younger.

As Dora the Explorer's cheerful voice filled the room from the TV, Aria found herself lost in memories. She and Junior used to watch this show together, with Junior eagerly repeating Dora's instructions. "Swiper, no swiping!" he'd shout, completely engrossed in the adventure.

A pang of nostalgia hit her. Those days seemed so simple now. "I even miss Blue's Clues," Aria thought to herself, a small smile playing on her lips.

"Eat na!" Terisha's voice broke through her reverie.

"I will, Terry," Aria assured her niece, turning her attention to the plate before her.

Tuyo and sinangag were on the menu, a comfort food combination that never failed to lift Aria's spirits. She piled her plate high with rice, earning a concerned look from Junior, his cousin who is a year younger than her.

"Hey, take it easy," he cautioned. "You might choke."

"No, I'm fine," Aria mumbled through a mouthful of food.

Junior just shook his head. "Whatever."

As she ate, Aria's gaze wandered around the room. It was strange how the house seemed to have transformed into an attic since they'd moved in. Every corner held memories, some joyful, others bittersweet.

Fifteen minutes later, her hunger satisfied, Aria found herself sandwiched between two aunts on the couch, all eyes fixed on the television. The mindless drone of daytime TV washed over her, but her thoughts were elsewhere.

Just as she was considering sneaking away to practice her guitar, Auntie Vienda's voice cut through her thoughts. "Aria, do you want to come with me to Santa Ana Market?"

Aria's eyes lit up. Anything was better than enduring these brain-draining, uninteresting shows. "Yes, please!" she said, perhaps a bit too eagerly.

As they climbed into a tricycle for the twenty-five-minute ride to Santa Ana Market, Aria felt a sense of anticipation building. The market held a special place in her heart - it was where she'd first set foot as a wide-eyed child back in 2000.

The familiar sights and sounds of the market washed over her as they arrived. Mayor Atienza's influence was still evident in the cheerful pink, yellow, and blue color scheme that hadn't changed in over a decade.

As Aria wandered through the bustling aisles, a sense of peace settled over her. Here, amidst the vibrant chaos of the market, she felt grounded. The worries of the past few days - the drama with Sonny, the tension at home - seemed to fade into the background.

But even as she reveled in the familiar sights and sounds, a nagging thought persisted at the back of her mind. Who was she, really? The girl who'd broken up with Sonny? The musician dreaming of stardom? The dutiful daughter and sister?

As she helped Auntie Vienda haggle over the price of cabbage, Aria realized that perhaps it was okay not to have all the answers. Maybe, just maybe, not knowing who she was meant she had the freedom to become whoever she wanted to be.

With a smile, she turned to her aunt. "Shall we head home? I think I have a song to write."

Auntie Vienda nodded, a knowing glint in her eye. As they made their way back through the market, Aria felt a renewed sense of purpose. The cacophony of the market - the shouts of vendors, the laughter of children, the honking of tricycles - seemed to blend into a melody all its own.

By the time they climbed back onto a tricycle for the ride home, the first lines of a new song were already forming in Aria's mind. She didn't know who she was yet, but she was beginning to understand who she could be. And for now, that was enough.