Why'd You Lie, Sofia

Chapter 2

Sofia’s POV

I used to ask myself, is something wrong with me or is everyone just too mean?

I remember looking up at the mirror, wondering why I couldn't be as beautiful as other girls. Maybe if I was pretty enough to fit in, maybe they would be a little nice. Maybe they wouldn’t call me names. Maybe they wouldn’t make my life miserable. Maybe I’d have a lot of friends. It would have been nice that way.

But I grew up to realize, maybe the world is just too cruel. Maybe I was a sunflower lost in a garden of roses who hides their thorns beneath their pretty faces. And sometimes it just gets too much. Too suffocating. Insults. Degrading remarks. Criticisms. Over time, it takes up more and more space and I’m afraid I’d eventually reach the point of having no more room to freely be myself because by then, I would be anxious of how they perceive me to be.

“Mrs. Corbet’s going to give a long test next week.”

It was already our second period and Teffy walked over to my seat to hand me her notes from Algebra class which she promised over the phone. It was over 6 pages long, back to back, and the binder itself was big in size. Teffy has a thing for jolting down every detail of the lecture which makes it easier to understand her notes.

After a short while, our Literature class began. On a regular basis, I would be holding my pen, crouching on my seat, ready to scribble just as much detail that goes out of the teacher’s mouth. But something just feels off today and I found myself staring blankly at Violet’s empty seat.

The class went on and I was leaning against the window the entire time, tuning out the blabbering teacher in front of the class. I guess I’ll let myself drift away this one time. I promise I’ll stay up late tonight for a make-up review on this topic. Sometimes your brain just decides not to study and in a way, it’s kind of unhealthy to force it, you know.

Or are you just making excuses for yourself? My conscience exclaims in protest and I couldn’t even find any comeback against myself. I’m not usually like this but maybe it won’t hurt to not force myself even just for this one time. Things just get tangled up sometimes and it’s kinda exhausting even by just thinking about how to untangle them.

“You know, it’s not bad to stand up for yourself just for once.”

The class was over and Teffy dragged me to the registrar’s office to buy me a new uniform. I told her she didn’t have to bother and spend money on this but she was so mad when she saw the juice stains and insisted. I should’ve hid it better but I appreciate that she’s really concerned. She kept me company while I got myself changed in the comfort room and she kept asking about the senior girls who spilled the juice on me. I decided to tell her it was just an accident but she knew better.

“You know, you're not a good liar, Sofia,” she sighed.

“Thanks for being a good friend.” I just had to say it. My life has been one hell of bad luck and it’s only these few people; Teffy, mom, and buffer, who keeps me sane and keeps me going. Without them, I doubt I’d survive this long. The world is a crazy pit of madness.

The day went on with Violet missing all of today’s class. It’s not new, though. She has gymnast training most of the time so she’s likely to come late or completely miss classes. But it was different this time. Something wrong was going on and I can’t help but wonder what is going on in her mind right now. Is she sad? Is she overthinking? I don’t know what exactly she’s feeling right now, but what I do know is that words are painful. It wasn’t a bluff when they said words cut deeper than knives. They stab far worse than knives and lingers on your mind and if you aren’t strong enough to shut those voices in your head, they’ll haunt you for the rest of your life.

After class, I hurried on my way to a nearby cafe where I work a part time job as a cashier but I also serve as a waitress when the situation calls for it. Mr. Wesley, a middle aged man who is always in his jumper shorts and light colored t-shirts, is the owner of the cafe who was generous enough to let me in despite having me as an excess worker in his small cafe. I was really desperate to beg him because I needed to support my mother’s medication. If I ever become a successful doctor someday, I will never forget these people who went an extra mile to help me.

“Hey, Sofie!” Martha, my co-worker who has been working here for over 10 years now, greeted me as I walked through the double door entrance of the cafe. She’s almost twice my age and her daughter, Mitzy, is the cutest thing ever.

It was already around five and the cafe was busy. Most of our customers are college students who spend their time working on research projects with their laptops devouring the space of their tables. It’s always funny to have them gathering all their stuff in a haste whenever their orders are being served. Most of them came from a nearby school which is cool because I don’t get bullied much often. Sometimes, if I find them really nice, I would sit with them and help them with their research. It’s fun and I get to make quite a few other friends.

“We had to rush Mitzy to the hospital this morning,” Martha’s voice cracked. I didn’t notice she was trying to keep herself together until now. I rushed towards her and patted her back. “She had a severe stomach ache. She kept vomiting and caught a cold or something. And then the doctor’s diagnosis showed she has appendicitis and needed an immediate operation.”

I was at a loss for words. “H-how is she?” I stuttered, barely digesting everything she just said.

“I don’t know,” Martha was barely keeping it together. I know she’s doing her best not to cry because customers kept coming in and out of the cafe. “I’m still waiting for Dan to give me a call and tell me the news. I couldn’t even stay there because I can’t stand seeing my child in pain.”

“Hey, Mitzy is a strong kid, okay?” I reached for her hand and squeezed it a bit, hoping it would somehow give her a bit of assurance. “She’ll get through this.”

I had Martha stay at the worker's lounge at the back of the cafe and fell asleep at the couch. I insisted to manage the tasks for a while because I figured she'd need rest.

I just hope things would get better.

My shift ended at 8:30 p.m. and I was already riding my way home. The street was surprisingly silent tonight. There are not many cars passing back and forth. After a few while, I reached the riverbank bridge and it was a peaceful night here. I decided to stay for a while to watch the moon and its reflection on the running waters and the cold breeze gently blowing against my skin. I have always found it entertaining to watch the waters rush against the water turbines down below the bridge. That's why the river never calms.

It wasn’t long until I noticed someone on the other side. She was standing on the narrow ledge of the bridge, gazing down at the gushing waters. Her hair was down and it danced with the cold blow of the wind, it seemed as if she was ready to wash her life away any moment from now.

Adrenaline came rushing in and the only sane thing I could think of doing was running towards the other side and pulling her off the ledge. And I did. A faint gasp escaped her mouth as we both fell on the ground. My glasses flew away but I was able to find it instantly. And then I froze.

It was Violet Kinsky.

**

My knees were shaking and I don’t even know why. My heart is pounding thrice than usual and feel like I’m capable of exploding any second from now.

Leaning against the ledge where she stood over a few moments ago, Violet gazed at the distant waters, or maybe at the moon, or its reflection, or anything from the distant view. I can’t really tell. I have been keeping my head low for the past 10 minutes and none of us were speaking. The silence is making me even more nervous.

I kept heaving deep breaths every minute just so I have something to do and I hope it doesn’t bother her as much as I think it’s bothering her. Should I just run away like I usually do to most people?

How ‘bout you ask if she’s okay? My conscience popped up again and I had to mentally roll my eyes. I would want to but I just can’t. She’s The Violet Kinsky for Pete’s sake! How do I even talk to her without stammering?

“Thanks.” Finally she spoke, breaking the silence. I had to shift my gaze up to see if I heard it right. Is she talking to me?

“Double thanks, to be exact,” she sighed, her gaze still fixed at the distant view. “You’re the same girl in the comfort room, right?”

She remembered me. “Y-yeah,” I replied, trying my best not to smile. I didn’t think she'd actually remember me. “I-it was nothing. Those girls could really get pretty mean.”

“Can I tell you something?”

“I-I’m all ears,” I kept stuttering.

“I had a fight with my mom. No, actually, we always do. She wants me to be this. She wants me to be that. And for as long as I can remember, I have lived my life desperate to satisfy her standards. And I’m sick of it. So f*****g sick of it. I just want a life of my own. No restrictions. No this and that. I want to be free.”

Violet let out a long breath and tilted her head up to stare at the starry skies. For a moment, the night went still, as if the passing cars and the rushing rivers down below were silenced. For a moment it felt like it was only me, Violet, and the celestial bodies up above us.

“And then Clyde, he—”

“Cheated,” I cut in. “Again?”

She forced a laugh. “Even walls have ears, huh?”

I couldn’t bring myself to smile even just for a bit. How could I? After hearing all of these? Violet was so tough and fierce I never thought she could be going through something all at once.

“At this point, I don’t know how much of this bullshit I can handle anymore. I am never enough for my mom, my boyfriend keeps cheating on me, my best friend betrayed me, and everyone hates me.” She burst into tears and I just sat there, dumbfounded. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know what to do.

“You know what’s worse about people?” Violet’s mascara dripped down with her tears, the street lights illuminated her face as she shifted her gaze to look at me.

“They come into your life, and then they destroy you.”