Chapter 4:The Bad News
1487 Words
Her breath was shallow and I noticed how her shoulders tensed in my hands, her eyes darting back and forth.
"I don't know what you mean, my Lord. It is..it is just me, Eleanor,” she stuttered, “ I was just about to say that..that…err…your mother loved you. I just have the feeling that she always loved you, and you shouldn't worry about why you don't remember her. You can just remember her as a woman who wanted the best for you.”
She kept on talking without stopping to catch her breath, and that was when I realized immediately that my hands were gripping her neck now. I immediately realized my folly and released her from my tight grasp.
Thankfully, my eyes didn't turn yet, and she didn't see my fingers.
“How do you know that I don't remember my mother?” I asked, my suspicion increasing by the minute.
She immediately fell on her knees, “I once asked about her, and you told me she probably died while birthing you…that you don't really remember.”
I stared at her in disbelief for a second. But she was right. I had mentioned it to her once
She's my oldest and closest maidservant afterall. And she always acted like a mother to me.
“I have noticed that it really bothers you. Maybe that's why you have been drinking. So, I wanted to encourage you. I am strangely convinced that she didn't mean to abandon you. She loved you.”
Oh, the alcohol. She must have wondered why I kept telling her to add more alcohol for the office.
She coughed, and then I realized the gravity of what I had done.
“I am…,” I started, swallowing hard, “It wasn't my intention to hold your throat. I acted out of impulse. I am sor-”
She cut in quickly, “It's fine, my Lord. It's my fault for startling you,” saving me the embarrassment of apologizing.
New Year was fast approaching and I was desperate for someone. Someone who cared enough about me to dig up my past and bring back my lost memories.
I needed to find out who I was, really, underneath all my wealth.
"You can go, I don't need you for now," I told her, but she only moved an inch backwards.
It looked like she would slump, and I didn't want that embarrassing situation happening right in front of me. I helped her up and rearranged her hair. Then I told her to take the rest of the day off. Even though I knew she would never, since she has taken it up in herself to assume the role of a mother to me. Only that I never let her most of the time.
After she left, I pulled the curtains apart and relished the breeze rushing onto my skin to distract me.
I pondered about her words, but I did not know if she was right.
Did my mother truly love me? Then where is she? Why did she abandon me?
The scars on my wrist were slowly fading away- the ones from my cutting.
It was time to get dressed for work, and I could already perceive the aroma of a sumptuous meal from the kitchen, but it nauseated me instead.
Eleanor was still waiting at my door too.
Such a bodacious maid!
"Cancel all my appointments today, and leave me alone. Tell the others too, not to call me except it's an emergency. Don't forget to take the day off too."
I looked down at her and added, "Don't worry about breakfast too. I will be busy in my study," and turned back towards my room.
I already knew that it was not over. This particular maidservant of mine, never gave up.
"My Lord..." she said, stopping me again.
There we go.
"I have warned you about talking about my personal affairs. I don't want to talk about Chad or my mother. I don't want you to talk about them, forget what you heard. I’m fine," I deadpanned, entering my room.
Eleanor followed closely, and shut the door behind her.
Everyone who knew me knew that only Eleanor could try to go against me. No one else dared to.
Even she had to suffer the consequences afterwards.
"It's not about Chad, my Lord. You have an important appointment to..." she started, but I cut in immediately.
"Didn't I just tell you to cancel it all?" I really was going to fire her every time she did not immediately obey me, but I always couldn't bring myself to do it.
Only she held my life together, in a way. Or at least held my house together.
Still, I could do it if I wanted. I did everything I wanted to do.
"What would happen to the interview then? You told me to persuade you if you ever changed your mind about it, my Lord,” she insisted, “I was going to tell you…before the little accident. I'm sorry again for startling you.”
She really never gave up. Not until I yelled in her face-this woman.
But, I didn't have much faith in hiring the assistant of my dreams.
In the last six months, five people had turned in their resignation letters. One of them had even attached a swear letter where she called me 'a good-looking devil.'
She had ended it with something like, 'I thought it would be the job of my dreams but I was mistaken...', and then in between, she wrote, "Goodbye, you good-looking devil."
It had made me think so deeply, especially after it went viral, and everyone used that term to define me.
"The interview for a personal assistant. Remember? You wanted one so bad,” her voice jerked me out of my daydream yet again.
"Oh, that. Has anyone shown interest yet?" Eleanor must think that I was exhausted from working so hard, hence the need for a helping hand.
If only she knew the motive behind needing a personal assistant at the company.
It was not because I was stressed at work. It was for the companionship. I needed to see if I was lovable. Even if it was platonic.
Most importantly, it was a step to finding the answers I badly needed.
"Yes, my Lord. Three people as at yesterday,"she said, flashing me a simple smile, and hoping I would return it, but my nature was definitely not made for trivialities.
Only three people? What's there to smile about?
Usually, I got hundreds of applications. But not after the rumors about my pompous attitude to employees started floating everywhere.
"Send in the first person at 6pm sharp. I will be back from work soon for the interview," I said nonchalantly, "A woman, please," I added.
My ego decided on having an assistant that I could control: a female.
"Yes, sire,"
She called me 'sire'. That meant only one thing- she was getting very uncomfortable around me.
"Do not dare bring an unworthy fellow into my house, understood? I know your antics, and I will fire you without question this time if you make a mistake. Just one mistake!"
I have always blamed her for bringing in unqualified applicants. What was I supposed to do when everyone kept blaming me instead?
Eleanor switched expressions, and immediately began to recite the qualities I demanded.
"Smart, prompt, soft-hearted, patient and curious. Very curious. You hammered that one, sire."
"Listen, there's one more thing," I whispered, moving an inch closer to her, "No one must find out about him. No one who comes under this roof, must find out the story behind my son's death."
With a quick nod, she hurried out of my bedroom.
As soon as she left, my head was again filled with questions about whether everything was worth it.
With one last look at Chad's wallpaper on his dresser, I knew that I was not making a very good decision by hiring an assistant.
Especially not a curious one.
'Very curious' I had instructed Eleanor.
I only hoped that I would find someone who would stay with me for a long while, and yet never find out about Chad.
Or other people who ended up like him.
I only needed someone who would dig up the secrets of my past that are unknown to me.
Everything about my past, except Chad.
I believed that only someone like that would melt my heart in every way possible.
Because, I did not have any memories of mine.
I didn't know what I was, or things that happened in my childhood.
Even while driving down to work and stopping in a line of traffic, that was the only thing I could wish for.
"My Lord?" Eleanor's voice shot through my phone as I drove.
"Yes, what is it?" I asked impatiently, and her response broke my heart.
- Writer
