Perfect

A Special Bond

Blood spots covered most of the room.Gabe could hear the groaning and loud impacts of the young woman's fists on the Everest punching bag that was specially filled with granite. The date has come round to visit another year and Gabe knew that Alexander was neither going to have breakfast, lunch and dinner. She knew that she would see red bandages over bleeding knuckles for the next three days. The reason behind all the frustration was unknown, yet Gabe or anyone close enough could see that Alexander was sad. Almost grieving behind something that happened in her dreadful past. Probably the army affected her. It changed everyone In it in some way; she guessed. Her father was in the Navy; he came home during his third vacation with an aggressive mind but he never, never raised his voice or swore.

He died when she was thirteen.

But Alexander was way past that vexation; there was something personal in her agony. The groaning was as if she was regretting over something. Gabe was well aware - being a woman - that they tended to blame themselves for a mistake others made. Anyways, whatever the reason might be, Gabe would at least make sure to keep up Alexander's appetite for the day before she got severely ill. She decided to make an egg roll for her and  freshly pounded coffee.

The grunting stopped an hour later, just when Gabe walked upstairs and knocked twice. Alexander never yelled at her or said 'go away' but she knew she would want to say that. Yet, she turned the knob and pushed the door open. Gabe wasn't that surprised to be welcomed by the sickly view of bloodshed within the household for the past four years but she was certainly surprised that the amount of blood was more than previous years. Her eyes scanned and paused abruptly at the figure that sat holding the knees together, leaning against the wall adjacent to the glass wall. Setting the tray on the clean work desk, she strolled into the bathroom and retrieved a first aid kit for the wounded.

Gabe sat before Alexander and put a hand on her bleeding knuckles. Alexander didn't budge.

"Alexander," Gabe spoke, but the quiet didn't budge, "I know you don't want me here, you want me to leave you alone. And I will, after you eat something. And you fix your wounds. Look at me. Please."

After a beat, Alexander looked up. There were no tears; just bloodshot sleepless eyes, there was no liveliness at all. Alexander looked like she was doing this for death. Gabe recognized the will to die on her face; because her mother wore the same expression when her father died.

Gabe began cleaning the hurt fingers with a disinfectant and began to wrap the bandage.

"My mother and you are alike. She too would find an excuse to hurt herself in a way. But hers were secret. And you; is it necessary? Does it help?"

"It is important." Her voice was tired and coarse. She rested her head against the glass wall. It was cool against her throbbing head. She took a moment to close her eyes then opened them again. She was scared, too scared to close them because she would see him. She would see Kaleb Esmond with his dazzling smile, curly boyish hair and large blue eyes. And then, she would recount that one day. That one fateful day where everything changed.

The disinfectant burnt on her knuckles that were equally were so painful to move. Her body was recharging; the sweat ran profusely all over herself and she was exhausted. But she couldn't sleep. Sleep was too scary that time. Gabe didn't press much but she did push some of the coffee down her throat with empty threats that she would leave and never come back. It was amusing how she said that every year; Gabe would never leave. To pretend that it mattered, Alexander always gave in to that threat to feed Gabe the satisfaction that her bluff was taken seriously. The coffee was relief; hot fluid ran down her gullet to her stomach and settled there. She refused the roll.

Gabe convinced her to take a shower while she cleaned up. After some resistance she gave in and limped slightly into the closet to her bathroom.

.........................

Gabe was gone somewhere when she woke up.

Alexander took half an hour of a nap and waking up she noted that Gabe was not in the house. Probably she had left to buy something. Alexander didn't want to remain at home. She strolled into the closet, wore her socks and shoes and left the house. She decided to take a stroll.

Suddenly she wondered; what would happen if that day didn't exist at all? Or if he hadn't fallen for her in the first place? Would Kaleb's life become easier if she wasn't in the picture? Would he be alive?

The years that passed never answered that question nor she asked. She gave up. No matter what she did; from wrecking her knuckles to risking her life everyday in the army, he was not coming back. The Seattle day was bleak and white yet again; but a soothing breeze gushed past as she stood facing Lake Washington in Magnuson Park. There were not a lot of people just a few kids that had no school, tumbling around with a ball in the farthest. She sat on the bench and gazed at the sparkly waters.

"Hello."

Perfect. Alexander suddenly smiled and looked up, Perfect stood, his hair a riot of auburn with hints of red under the peeping sun. He wore a beatific smile that would make anyone feel envious and she was. He wore a maroon sweater over washed blue jeans. The loose bangs blew in the gush of cool air.

"Perfect." She acknowledged. She gazed upfront and felt the bench shake a little as he sat beside her.

"I thought you might be working." He spoke. His voice was too relieving to hear, like the zephyr of that afternoon where they sat.

"I rebelled."

Perfect smiled that dazzling boyish smile and gazed ahead; Alexander noted that his mauve eyes appeared a dull blue.

"Are you alright?" She asked.

"I should be asking you that. You look...exhausted and...weightless."

"I am."

"May I ask the reason why?"

Alexander frowned; what was she supposed to say? That she felt guilty? That she no longer could bear the hold of that death certificate that sat somewhere deep in her closet? What was she to say?

'Someone died." She didn't look at Perfect when she said that and just stared at the edge of the water body; at the tints of prismatic hue when the water refracted at the edge.

"I am sorry. What happened to them?"

"He drowned, deliberately."

"I'm sorry."

They shared a welcome silence like usual. Minutes stretched and Alexander gradually felt some pain lift off her chest as her shoulders drooped finally.

"Some years back; I lost quite some people as well and during that period, I lost myself as well. The sadness became overbearing. Like the strain caused when you hold your fist closed for so long." He spoke with equal guilt that he had done something too. That was striking similar to Kaleb; he too would plop next to her and just babble. It used to be such a sight to hear the most carefree person you knew to break down before you. Alexander's heart sank as Perfect turned and the similarity remained.

"You remind me of him, Perfect."

"In a good way?"

She nodded.

"Then he must be handsome." Perfect said and she let out a chuckle.

"Yeah he was."

Perfect frowned when Alexander suddenly sobbed; a tear escaped her right eye and she let it roll down her cheek. He scooted closer and reached for her hand and put an arm around her shoulders. Unaware of anything; Alexander gave in to the gesture and rested on his soft sweater. It smelt of fresh linen and Perfect. Her eyes closed and she cried soundly, letting the final of tears gush past.