The Girl Who Cried Wolf

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Rhyna. I have something to tell you. I cannot see you yet, but I will see you soon. That is not what I need to tell you, but if I told you now, you would not be prepared. Take care. I will prepare you when the time is right. I will talk to you again in your dreams XĪNGĀN. 

I woke up and found myself in the woods. Surprise, surprise. This is the third time this week. I have never sleepwalked in my short life until this past week. I never remember my dreams or nightmares. All I remember is this strangely angelic voice calling my name.

No images just... nope. Now I don't even remember the sound. It always happens this way. I can recall the voice for a few seconds at most and then it vanishes. Rolling my eyes I mumble, "Why in the world do I keep ending up in the forest of all places." Only, as I say this, I realize where I'm standing. 

It's the place where I started to 'lose my sanity' so to speak. I was just five years old when I saw an eight foot tall wolf with fur the color of platinum, eyes crimson like blood, teeth the length of my arms and the width of the stump of a tree, and a body built to destroy everything in its path. Bodies surrounded it; their insides wrenched from their flesh and bones. Their intestines spilled on the dewy grass like the innumerous stars in the bottomless sky. There were rivers of fresh blood soaking the sludge with innocent souls ingrained in the soil. The wretched odor of metal was utterly airborne; I grimaced from ingesting my impending vomit. The wolf however was incessantly twisting and yanking the carcasses like a ravenous pig. I didn't make a sound; I stood transfixed at the scene before me. Not a second too soon, the beast glided his sinister eyes to my apprehensive ones.

Without hesitation, I bolted from the site. Frantically, I called out to people; to anyone that would listen. By the time I got someone's attention, the crime scene had vanished out of thin air. The blood, the bodies, and most importantly the wolf. Where did it go? I know I didn't just imagine the gruesome act. It was that very day that I got into trouble for 'making something up'. They called me a liar and said I was 'seeing things'. 

It wasn't the first time though. It happened again, again, and yet again. Eventually, my so-called friends left me for fear of being bullied, teachers outcasted me, and peers tormented me with harsh judgements that weren't mine to receive. My family remained my family, but occasionally even they disregarded my existence. 

I wasn't mistreated because I hallucinated frequently. It was because I was born with a disease described as heterochromia iridis; in summary, I possess half blue and half amber eyes. Not to mention, I contain dark purple hair. It wasn't necessarily a choice. It isn't dyed either; I really am this abnormal. 

Not only was I bullied for my divergent tendencies, but the way I looked and dressed. I couldn't do a single thing right in the public's eye. Eventually, I stopped talking to people other than my family. People forgot what I sound like. They pushed me to the background; never to be seen again. I'm okay with that now. 

As I'm talking to myself, I stumble to my house. It's still the wee hours of the morning. The birds haven't even sung their song and the sun hasn't started to peek open its eyes from the extended slumber. When I open the door, some of the lights are on and the house is eerily quiet. I know that my parents are asleep, Ulisies spent the night elsewhere, Nova and Kai went to a party yet again, and Mavrik had a late shift at his woodshop. 

Mavrik, Ulisies, and Nova are my three older brothers and Kai is my older sister. I'm the youngest and also the most left alone. Mavrik is the oldest following Nova, Ulisies, and then Kai. Even though we all do separate things and are all adults, we still live under our parents' house. It's the very reason I know there is something off in the atmosphere. It's hanging just above my head and it's driving me insane. Drip, drip, drip. Thump, thump, thump. The blood is rushing to my ears and the trickling of water coming from the faucet is reverberating in the entrance. It is grating on the tips of the receptors in my cerebrum.  

Whoosh. The unsettling ambience disappears within a blink of an eye. I mutter, "Mental hospital here I come." I stride to the polished and sterilized kitchen and bring my fist down on the handle for the spigot, as if my hand were a hammer slamming into a nail. The water seized its sluggish ooze; silence ensued.  I let out a long sigh and saunter to the fridge scavenging for nutrients. I grab eggs, vanilla extract, cinnamon, butter, chocolate chips, almond milk, flour, sugar, bread, and bacon. After I had the ingredients I need to make breakfast, I grab a mixing bowl, a whisk, and two pans. 

As breakfast is being made, I hear the padding of my mother's footsteps. She lets out a yawn and proceeds to say, "What are we having this morning?" 

I chuckle, "Pancakes, eggs, bacon, and french toast." 

Her mouth agape, "I don't know why I'm surprised but what's the occasion?" 

I glance her way, "None that I know of. Just experiencing the hunger of a caveman." 

She laughs and reveals, "I'm certainly not going to complain. Your father is going on a fishing trip today and then he will be back in three days. He is going with some friends. Your siblings are doing whatever they please as per usual."

I ask, "Can you turn on the news? There is supposed to be some sort of announcement today." 

She nods her head and strolls to the television. As I'm finishing making breakfast, the news reporter makes the statement, "This competition is not for the weak. This is for those that have something special about them. They have to be able to live in uncanny conditions, do nontraditional challenges, and more. This is for women and men alike; you must sign up. For more information, go to the BF State News website. This is Travis Hough reporting; back to you Scott." 

My mom turns her head and gives me a curious look, "Want to look it up?" 

Apprehensively I reply, "Why?" 

She grimaces, "I don't mean it in a bad way. Just that you have had an abnormal childhood. You have dealt with more than probably most of those people signing up. I think it wouldn't hurt to see what it is. Who knows? Maybe this will be what you've been searching for."

I close my eyes and intake a long breath of air. Without looking at her I whisper, "Maybe." 

What if this is what I've been looking for? All of my life I've been wondering why I'm so different. I used to hate myself for being the Phoenix among the ravens. Maybe this is it. My chance to truly find myself. Well, here goes nothing. 

XĪNGĀN - Means 'heart and liver'; it is meant to recognize the most important person, someone you cannot live without just as you cannot live without your heart and liver. It can be translated to the English saying 'my heart and soul'. It is a strong term of endearment; meant to only those that are the most dear to you.