My New Papa

Chapter Seventeen

I'm really sorry that I didn't put any dedications up last time so I hope that you will forgive me for that. I'm also not getting very many comments, which saddens me because I always enjoy reading what you have to say. Tell me if you liked the chapter or not, tell me if there's anything that needs to be fixed or not. This story is for me just as much as it is for you, so I want to know what you think about it and what you have to say. I also want to thank all of you who have decided to follow me, it means a lot that you have done that. Now onto the story.

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Alekander's P.O.V

I've stopped eating and I barely leave my room. Ryuu is worried about me but I just can't bring myself to even care. I just want everything to end. I know it's stupid to think and feel this way but I can't help it. I just feel as if my entire world has caved in on me and there is no way out. I think that from the stress and heartbreak of things that have happened finally got to me and broken me completely down. I know, I KNOW that I should talk to someone about how I feel and the things that I'm thinking but I just can't bring myself to do it. Things need to change, I know that just as much as I know that there is little hope that I will ever see Erion again. This world is a sad and colorless place to me now.

I let out another sigh as my stomach let out yet another growl for the millionth time now. I know that I need to eat but I really don't want to do it. "Please Alekander, come out and talk to me or let me in, please Alekander" Ryuu begged as he knocked on the door sounding as if the will break down at any moment and start crying. Sighing I slowly got up and walked to the door unlocking it and then quickly running back to my bed and diving under the covers. "Alekander will you pleas tell me what's wrong so that I can try to help you?" Ryuu asked as he sat next to me on the bed and petted my hair. I just kind of broke at that kindness from him and decided to tell Ryuu how I'm feeling. "I-I need help. I feel so depressed over everything that has happened. I feel like I'm falling deeper and deeper into a dark and endless pit with no way out. I know that I need help but I just couldn't bring myself to get it, and honestly I'm scared of what I will do to myself it I'm left like this" I told Ryuu as I sobbed in his arms. "Shh it's okay, we'll get through this one step at a time. And the first step is getting some food in your belly so that you can get some energy back" Ryuu said as he pulled me out of my bed and room and down to the kitchen. "Now Alekander I can't help you through this unless you are willing to work with me on getting better" Ryuu said as he put a plate of hot food in front of me on the table.

I tried to eat the plate of food that was in front of me, but it was hard when the food tasted good for a second then turned to ash in my mouth. I really wanted to stop eating but I couldn't do it because I wouldn't be able to bear the look of sadness and disappointment that I was sure would cross Ryuu's face. The more Ryuu encouraged me the more that I ate, I just wanted to get through this and go back to my room.

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Ryuu's been helping me a lot theses past few weeks and I've slowly been getting better. I still think of Erion and try contacting him but he never answers. I still think of Mr. Gallows too but when I do I end up crying in my room for several hours. In all of this time that I've been gone he has not looked for me, which just hurts my heart even more. I guess that it's true that he never actually cared or loved me anyways. Mr. Gallows is someone that I want to put behind me and never think of again but it's hard to do that. Hopefully someday soon I will be able to completely forget about him.

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I really haven't been feeling well lately. I keep throwing up every time I get out of bed in the morning, or when something doesn't smell good to me. Ryuu doesn't know about this because I didn't want to worry him more than I already have, but I'm starting to get a little scared because this isn't a normal thing for me.

I finally told Ryuu about me throwing up so much. I honestly don't think that I've ever seen anyone freak out as much and as bad as he did in that moment. After his little freak out he called His personal doctor to come and do a check up on me to find out what was wrong with me. The doctor got to the house in just a little under and hour. As soon as the doctor got here he started asking me a bunch of questions about my symptoms and doing a bunch of tests. When the doctor was finally done with all of the questions and tests he took Ryuu into a different room to talk with him about what was wrong with me.

When Ryuu came back into the room his face was a mixture of happiness and what I was guessing was anger. "What did the doctor say was wrong with me?" I asked Ryuu as he sat next to me. "Alekander the doctor said that you were pregnant, he said that you're about a couple of months along. He also told me that you need to eat more because you're severely underweight and that you being underweight could kill the child or cause it to have some disabilities when it is born" Ryuu said letting out a long and tired sounding sigh. "I-I didn't know that I was pregnant" I said as tears built in my eyes threatening to fall at any second. "It's ok, I'll help with the baby. Now do you know who the father is, do you want to tell them, and did the father of the baby force you to have s*x with him?" Ryuu asked as he started petting my hair. "Yes I know who the father is, no I do not want to tell them, and no the father didn't force me, it was completely consensual" I told Ryuu as I laid my head in his lap and rubbed my belly. I would have told Mr. Gallows about our baby but if he doesn't want anything to do with me then he might not want anything to do with our child, or he might try to take my baby from me. If he were to take my child I would probably be to broken to ever ne fixed again. I will tell my child about their father so that they at least know who it is, and when they are older if they truly want to see him I will let them even if it hurts me to do that.

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OK my lovely readers that all for this chapter. please tell me what you think, I always enjoy reading your comments.