Florentine nods, "As you wish. If you ever change your decision, let me know. The only thing that matters in the end is that you are the Queen."
I say, "I understand."
"Good. Anymore questions?"
I shake my head, "Thank you, thank you for everything, Florentine. You have helped me more than I could ever hope to repay you."
Florentine smiles, "You will be Queen Admira soon. I'm sure you will find a way to repay me."
Is that a hint towards her true intentions? Perhaps she isn't doing this out of the goodness of her heart, I would be surprised if she was. What would she want? Money? Trade? Control in the ruling? I will give her anything, happily, except allow her to tell me what to do. I refuse to become a puppet of nobles.
Florentine says, "You are dismissed then. I'm sure that you know you shouldn't tell anyone about our plans. I can't promise that all of our servants are loyal to our cause. It would be a shame if you accidently slipped the plans to someone who might report it to Alexanne. It would really be best if you didn't discuss this at all, even if you think you ab
Grace and I nod. Grace stops by Florentine's desk on the way out, apologizing for her outburst over the book earlier. She explains how much she loved the author, and just got excited. As Florentine glances at the book Grace points at, Grace slips the letter back on to her desk.
We file out of the room and begin to walk back to our rooms. On the way, I tell Grace about Eloise. She seemed to know so much, yet she wouldn't reveal anything. If there is anything that Florentine is keeping a secret, we might be able to get it out of Eloise. But, how did she know everything? Maybe she is in charge of cleaning other important rooms. Perhaps she's overheard conversations that weren't meant for her ears. Just like she did to the conversation between Grace and me.
As we pass by Augustine's door, he sticks his head out. "Admira, I was just about to go looking for you. I was wondering if you have time for a lesson."
I look to Grace and she nods at me. I turn to Augustine, "I would love a lesson, thank you."
Grace murmurs, "I'll be in the bedroom if you need anything."
She disappears down the hall as I go into Augustine's study. His office has fallen from its short period of organization after the guards came. The stacks of paper have fallen over and spread across his desk. The piles of books have collapsed, leaving them scattered throughout the room.
He smiles, "Have a seat. Did you read the book of poetry I gave you?"
The book is still sitting on my bedside table. I haven't so much as lifted the cover. I meant to do it last night, but we were too busy hiding from the guards. Today has been filled with meetings and exhaustion to even think about doing my assigned work from Augustine.
I open my mouth, but Augustine says, "I understand if you haven't read it. You've had quite an eventful night and day. It's rather silly to put too much focus into your lessons in a time like this. I meant for the lessons to simply be a way to pass the time, maybe learn a little something. They surely won't be as important as they were in the castle."
"Thank you for understanding. I promise I will get to reading them tonight."
Augustine smiles, "Good, I'm glad. I suppose we don't have anything to discuss for today, though."
I ask, "Do you...do you know of Florentine's plans for how I will get back into the castle?"
"Yes." He says hesitantly.
"I know them. Florentine just told me. The guard returned her message so she decided it was safe to tell us."
"I'm glad, I know it was difficult for you to trust her when you didn't know her plans. Surely this must gain some of your support."
I nod, "I feel as though I can trust Florentine now. What do you think of the plan?"
"What do I think of the plan?" Augustine seems surprised.
"If I can trust anyone's opinion, it's yours."
"I think that as long this is what you want, I feel like it's a good plan. I would be very surprised if it doesn't work. Florentine has certainly made sure to not leave much up to chance."
"What do you mean 'what I want'?"
"I think you know what I mean. I have heard you complain multiple times about your royalty. You have wished to live a normal life more times than I can count. I've seen you when you are out in public, giving speeches, or attending ceremonies. It was clear in your eyes that you want to in the crowd, not on the stage."
"But the people need me. I can't allow a murderer to rule them."
"Yes, Alexanne may not be the best choice for a queen. But I'm sure there have been worse rulers than Alexanne will be. You must not forget to think about yourself. Do what you can to find happiness, to achieve peace with yourself."
In silence, I finally force myself to think about what I really want.
I want to help the people. I don't know if I can walk away to hide, knowing that I am leaving thousands of people to be ruled by Alexanne. I don't know if I can leave knowing that Alexanne won't care about the helpless, the motherless children, the jobless widows, the broken elderly. I don't know if I can leave knowing that Alexanne will have no problem sending thousands of young men off to fight petty battles. I don't know if I can leave knowing that Alexanne killed four people to gain her position, no one will challenge her on it, and no one even knows the truth.
While I didn't necessarily love every minute of being a princess, I didn't hate it. I hated the stuffy, tight dresses, the awkward balls, the greedy courters, the tense foreign meetings, and the terrifying threats of battle.
But I loved talking to the people. I loved giving the addresses and speeches, hearing their wild cries of support. I lived for walking out in the crowd, watching them cry and cheer, trying to gain my attention. Even more, I loved looking at them and knowing that someday, if I became queen, I might have the opportunity to help them.
But most of all, I can't walk away knowing that Alexanne sits in the throne. The throne that doesn't belong to her. It belongs to me and my sisters. She stole the chance to rule out of Emilienne and Violette's hands before they had a chance to prove themselves in the contest.
The kingdom needs me to rule. My deceased sisters need me to rule. I need me to rule. I need to avenge Alexanne for everything she has done.
I won't allow a few uncomfortable aspects of being royalty stop me from doing what is right for myself, my sisters, and my kingdom.
I break out of my thoughts, raising my eyes to Augustine's. "It's what I want. It's what I need. Alexanne better prepare herself, because I am coming in search of revenge."
Augustine grins, "I'm glad, Admira. It's what she deserves."
We continue on with a petty lesson about my past ancestors. Augustine brushes up on my etiquette skills, to prepare me for becoming a princess again. As if two months could have erased sixteen years of rules being engrained into my memory.
I almost forget we aren't in the castle as we talk of history and art and current events and music. It's almost like being home, and in that moment, I couldn't miss anything more.
●◊●◊●
Augustine wraps up the lesson, after several of my hints of my growing hunger for supper. He finally agrees to let me go, after I promise repeatedly to read the poetry book he has given me.
I place my hand on the doorknob to leave, but Augustine calls out, "Admira? Could you actually sit down again? Only for a minute. There's something else."
I grumble good-naturedly. "Will you ever let me eat?"
I turn around, expecting a quick sarcastic comment from Augustine. Instead, a letter shakes beneath his fingertips.
I press my lips together and sit down. "What is it?"
He holds it up for me to see. I catch my name in the handwriting. It's the letter between Florentine and Augustine. The one that I stole and then attempted to return. The one that he thought the guards stole, and later thought he misplaced it.
So many lies hide behind the letter.
Augustine says, "You know that if you have any questions about anything, you can ask me, right?"
"I trust you."
"If you trust me, why did you steal this letter?"