Gods & Reapers

Chapter 2

I really, really loved the estate. But I really, really didn"t want to go today. Terrence was throwing a barbeque and while the rest of the country was getting slammed with a heat wave, Rome was a perfect seventy-five degrees.

Dammit. I looped my curls into a messy bun on top of my head. If it had rained, I could have cancelled. Instead, white puffs of clouds dotted the sky through the windows behind me.

"Evie! Get your butt down here!" Joey called up the stairs. "Pedro is already in the car!"

Pedro. I rolled my eyes as I smoothed out my pale green t-shirt. Joey"s first official boyfriend had become a staple over the past few months. He was nice enough. A real charmer. He and Joey were adorable together. Sickeningly so.

I grabbed my sunglasses and ran to the garage to see Pedro already sitting in the driver"s seat of his Aston Martin. The dude was loaded. Thank Olympus for that. He took care of Joey now even more than I did.

"Get in, chica!" Pedro flashed his bright white teeth at me. "Terrence promised mesquite just for me."

"Is that right?" I slid into the back of the roadster. "Then you better press on the gas. Between Spader and Liz, you ain"t got a prayer, Pedro."

"You don"t know that. When I was growing up, we used to fight jaguars for food. Two ethereal beings are nothing."

I glanced out the side window as Joey climbed in with his Nikon. He kissed Pedro and I made a face behind my hand.

"Are you boring Evie with your stories of Columbia again, babe?" Joey locked hands with our driver. "You should switch them up. Give her some good ones from Florida."

I rolled my eyes once more. Pedro was a Columbian immigrant who had risen to the Ivy Leagues once his parents escaped for Miami. Yay. Good for him.

"Evie, you have got to get in a better mood," Joey twisted around to look at me as Pedro lowered the top of the convertible. "You know, you"re not representing the sun god very well right now."

"Leave her alone, Joey," Pedro came to my defense. A move that was completely unnecessary. "Our Eva is tired from her flight this morning. That is all."

"Uh huh."

"Oh, be quiet." I pouted at Joey as Pedro headed down the backroads to the estate. "It"s not my fault I got stuck with the cops all night. You could"ve stayed with me."

"You find the corpse, you deal with the aftermath, Evie. That"s our arrangement."

"I want that in writing."

"It"s in our contracts." Joey laughed until I popped him on the shoulder. "Ow!"

"Anyway, I"ll be fine once we get there. You know me, Joey. All gloom and doom until the spotlight hits."

"You know, on Rainbow Brite, you"d be that little gray man that hates kittens and flowers."

Rainbow Brite, "Well, you"d be-"

"Children, children, we"re here," Pedro whistled to get our attention. "And look! The driveway is already full."

Of course, it was. I waited for Pedro to park before I climbed out over the side. I tugged my shorts down, slid my sunglasses into place, and smiled when Nella Manville ran around the side yard to throw her arms around Pedro.

"Pedro! You"re home!"

"Si, Nelliana!" He boomed. "I found a few stowaways on the cruise ship. Thought they could join us."

SiDid I mention that Pedro was one of the Grannison-Morris Elevenths? He traveled often but happened to be in town the last time Joey came to Rome to visit Terrence. I"d stayed in L.A. It was better that way. Easier.

"Evie!" Nella finally noticed me standing next to the car when Joey and Pedro stopped yammering at her. "Jeez, it"s been forever since you"ve been home!"

"Not that long-"

"Eight months, if you want to know," Royale Spader came around the side yard with a grin on his face and a blonde girl with pink highlights on his arm. "Come on. Party"s back here. Not in the driveway."

"Oh, is that-" The girl started and Spader patted her hand.

"That"s just Evie. Evie, Heidi. Heidi, Evie."

"I love your show." She started chattering at me. "You"re so brave and-"

I didn"t hear the rest. I had spotted the one person I"d spent the past eight months trying to get out of my head. Jonah Rowe dressed in shorts and a blue polo was still a sight that made my heart want to stop.

So, too, did the curvy brunette that hung around his neck. She pressed a kiss against his cheek and laughed at the face he made. Suddenly, I was all too aware of why I had avoided the estate like a plague. I"d still talked to Jonah, but through FaceTime. Video calls. I"d been busy.

And so had he. With her.

"Guys!" Pedro whistled. "Party"s just got here!"

I switched on the celebrity persona like the pro that I was. I could get through this. I would get through this.

"Joey! Pedro!"

The two of them were swarmed and I took a step back in the crowd. For the first time since I"d been coming to the estate, I felt out of place. Lost.

"Evie?" Jonah approached me with the brunette in tow. "Holy- how did Joey get you here in time? I thought you were in Detroit."

"I took the red eye flight," I smiled at him as the brunette threw her arms around his waist. "This must be Lola."

"It"s so nice to meet you, Eva," She grinned at me. "You have to sit with us. Tell us all about Detroit."

I didn"t want to talk about Detroit. Hell, I didn"t want to talk to her at all.

"You know Detroit is nothing but burned-out buildings and busted factories. But I can make up some stories if you want."

"Evie found a body last night," Joey threw his arm around my shoulders. "g**g hit. She spent the night talking to the cops."

"Thank you for the spoiler alert," I grumbled while Joey kissed me on the cheek. "Go play somewhere else."

"Just trying to ease the tension," Joey said innocently, “I smell Terrence"s barbecue. Have got to go!"

"What tension?" I glared at him. "There"s no tension."

Joey dashed off, and I was happy to be rid of him. Nothing negative, but he was just so damn sappy that I needed space away from his giddiness.

Funny how I"d wanted him to leave. I was now free of Joey, but face to face with Jonah"s girlfriend. Fabulous.

"I have to admit that that would"ve been cool to report on," Lola sounded almost wistful. "Down here, the most exciting news is when someone"s cow breaks from the pasture and holds up traffic on the road."

"Jonah mentioned you were a reporter." I glanced over at Jonah, who was looking down on her with an expression I didn"t like. It was too much like Pedro after he and Joey had kept me up all night banging around in his bedroom. I put my focus back on her. "What network are you with again?"

"I"m local at the moment, but I have my eye on other avenues." She grinned. "I kept trying to get J. to move out to L.A. with me. He won"t do it."

Why would he? Jonah hates big cities. He only came to L.A. to be with me.

Why would he? Jonah hates big cities. He only came to L.A. to be with me.No. I knew that wasn"t true. He came to help me. Not be with me. There was a huge difference.

helpbe"You"re awfully quiet, J.," Lola leaned her head back to look up at him. "You good?"

"Yeah, fine. Just letting you two chitchat."

Jesus, this was awkward. I decided to take the most graceful exit I could think of.

"I"m going to go mingle. I"ll catch up with you two later. It"s nice to meet you."

I slipped around them and wondered if I should hide out inside until Apollo could send one of the keepers to come get me. I knew this was a bad idea. Why I let Joey convince me otherwise was beyond me.

I never made it to the house. I got caught up in a bear hug by Terrence, who lifted me off my feet.

"Goldilocks!"

"Papa Bear!" I teased him. "Put me down!"

"Evie, how have you been?" Terrence pulled me over to the grill. "How"s the road?"

"Fantastic. How"s the estate?"

"Fantastic!" Terrence pushed a plate my way. "Got some goodies with your name on them."

Of course, he did. Terrence was forever trying to get me to eat a full plate of food. I didn"t have the heart to tell him it was never going to happen.

I grabbed the hot dog and took a bite to be polite. Perfection as usual.

"Jonah seems to be doing great with Lola," I commented. "What do you think of her as his girlfriend? Step up from Vera, ain"t she?"

"Girlfriend?" Terrence frowned. "Eva, J. and Lo ain"t like that. They"re not in love. They"re just friends with benefits."

Uh huh. I pulled back the tab on my soda. I didn"t believe that for a second. I"d seen the way he looked at her. That was not a "friendly" expression.

"They go on dates. They have s*x. They are all over each other. And she"s here at the estate," I ticked each point off on my fingers. "Sounds like a girlfriend to me."

"That"s because you"re too innocent, Evie."

I went to take another bite of the hotdog and put it right back on the plate. I couldn"t force myself to do it. I pushed it towards Terrence. "You finish this."

"You literally took one bite."

"That"s enough."

"For a bird!" Terrence grumbled under his breath. He picked up the hotdog and took a bite. "You know, if you actually ate something, you wouldn"t be so grumpy all the time."

"How do you know I"m grumpy? You haven"t seen me in forever."

"True." He finished the food he made for me. I kept the soda though. "What about you? Have you found a Pedro yet?"

"No. I don"t like men who get better manicures than I do."

"Evie! I mean someone to hang out with."

"You know better than that, Terrence." I leaned against the grill just in time to spot Lola once again on Jonah"s lap. I made a face when he kissed her. "How is that not a relationship?"

"It"s not. But it"s not like you care, right? J. said the two of you talked it out after the Emmys."

"Yeah, we did. I"m just trying to understand the whole ‘friends with benefits" thing."

"I can teach you," Spader slid up beside me. He threw his arm around my shoulders. "We"d have fun."

"We. As in me and you or you and Heidi?"

"Who? Oh, yeah. Not her. Just you."

"Spader," I turned towards him. "I don"t think you would know what to do with yourself if I ever took you up on one of your pick-up lines."

"Oh, I"d know what to do."

"Uh huh. Then do it."

Spader jerked upright. "Um, what?"

"Show me what you got to seduce me with." I crossed my arms over my chest. "Take your best shot."

Spader"s mouth dropped open. He closed it then ran his hand through his spiked hair before he looked the other way. Spader cupped his hand around his ear.

"What"s that, Heidi?" He hollered across the yard. "Geez, Evie, I gotta go. See ya!"

Spader took off like a shot and Terrence cracked up. He laughed so hard, I thought he was going to hurt himself.

"That look on his face," He gasped. "I can"t...Evie, you"re so mean!"

"Nope, just used Spader to make my point. That"s the reaction I always get if a guy tries to approach me. Most of the time, they keep their distance."

"Because you are an intimidating woman who"s not afraid to let her light shine," Terrence pointed his spatula at me while I hopped up on the adjoining picnic table. "Seriously, Evie. I imagine you think most men are d***s. Some are, but others don"t fit because they"re blinded by you. When the one comes along that isn"t intimidated by the shine, that"s the one you jump on."

I shrugged. "I"ve yet to meet him."

Terrence rolled his eyes at me. "He"s your best friend, Evie."

"The one"" I used air quotes to emphasize my point. "Is not Jonah. "The one" for me doesn"t exist. Terrence, Jonah made it perfectly clear that he doesn"t see me as any more than a friend. I"m respecting that."

"I"m just saying. You should jump on it."

"How the hell am I going to jump on Jonah if there is another woman hanging off his lap?" I examined my manicure. "Besides, I"m over it."

"Over Jonah?"

"I can"t get over someone I never had. I mean the whole love and romance crap. I"m done."

"What does that mean?" Terrence narrowed his eyes at me. "Evie, you can"t stop yourself from falling in love. It"s already happened."

"Yes, I can, and no, it hasn"t."

"Explain this. Because the only thing that comes to mind when you say that is a nunnery."

"That"s what I"m going to do. In the Olympian sense. I"m taking Hestia"s oath tomorrow."

Terrence frowned and pulled out his phone. I couldn"t help but laugh that my friend was googling Hestia"s Oath. He must have found it, because he stared at the phone before he focused on me. "Eva, why would you do this? This is damn unnatural!"

"No, it"s not. Magick is the most natural thing there is."

"But..." He read it and his eyes widened. "You"ll lose your ability to fall in love."

"Not a problem."

"You have to remain a virgin?" Terrence stared at me. "Remain? You don"t fit the criteria then."

"Yes, I do."

"Never?"

"Never."

Terrence squinted his eyes as he scrutinized my face.

"But you"re twenty-six."

"Exactly. If I haven"t found anyone even remotely interested by my age, then what"s the point of even searching?"

"You"re serious about this. You are actually going to neuter your ability to love?"

"Where’s the drawback here, Terrence? I lose the ability to fall in love, I won"t care how alone I am. I lose desire? Don"t have it, so whatever." I shrugged. "It"s a win-win for me."

"Evie, this is a mistake," Terrence shook his head. "I believe that with every fiber of my being. Like...down in my gut."

I swallowed the last of my soda. "Well, if it is wrong, which I doubt, then there will be some miracle to stop me. Right?"

is"You know what could avoid your need for a miracle? If you just changed your mind."

"I don"t think that"s going to happen, Terrence. But I appreciate the sentiment." I gestured to the people around us. Everyone paired off with someone else. "All that? That"s not made for me.”

“How do you know?"

"Because the scant few moments I have had like that were stolen ones. So it"s time to stop pretending and accept my fate as the spinster. I"ll go adopt a few cats next week to seal the deal."

Terrence fixed another hot dog. He didn"t laugh at my attempt at humor. "So your mind is made up, then? How long have you thought this out?"

"Just over eight months. Hestia makes you wait before she will perform the ritual. Gives you time to decide if that"s what you really want."

"Is it?"

"Is it what?"

"Is this what you really want, Evie?" Terrence bit into the hotdog and swallowed. "Because I don"t think so."

I took a breath as my memories took me back not to the night in my garage, but to Santa Fe. My one perfect day where - for a little while at least - I was happy. But I wasn"t going to lie to myself about it. We had been pretending. Pretending to be other people. Pretending to ourselves. That thought stung. I heard Lola laughing, so I looked over to see her dangling from Jonah"s lap.

"Yeah, Terrence," I turned my attention back to him. "Yeah, it is. Because if I don"t feel anything? I won"t be hurt by anything."

Terrence sighed. "I foresee it not coming to pass, Evie."

"Oh?" I raised an eyebrow. "So now you"re a psychic?"

Terrence lowered the lid of the grill. "Eva, I"m not as smart as Reena, or as receptive as Jonathan, or as mentally creative as Jonah. But I know that the man Jonah is when he"s with you is the man he"s meant to be. You two fit together. Anybody who"s been around the two of you together for more than five minutes can see it. And if you become some emotional eunuch, you won"t just be wrecking your life, but Jonah"s, too."

He patted my shoulder then headed back to mingle in the crowd I had been avoiding. I just stayed there, surprised at his words.

What the hell did he mean by that? How would I be wrecking Jonah"s life?

I shook my head. It didn"t matter. Terrence"s words may have struck a cord with me, but I knew better. I knew the conversations I had with Jonah. I knew where he stood, alright. And it wasn"t with me.

I hopped down from the table as Spader waved me over to where he was sitting. My little spectacle with him forgiven.

"Sit down, Evie. Stop being a stranger."

"Hanging out with Terrence makes me a stranger?"

"Damn right it does," Spader smirked at me, "Because everyone knows you of all people ain"t getting second helpings of anything."

you"Shut up!" I laughed and pushed him on the shoulder. "It"s not like you"re complaining. You never turn down my plate when I offer it to you."

"Hell, no, I don"t. It"s too good to waste. Look at Pedro and Joey. They are already three plates deep."

"Hmm," I rested my chin on my hand. "Those two aren"t worried about calories in the slightest. They always burn it off after dark."

Spader laughed. "They probably won"t be waiting till nightfall. You know how it goes when you"re in the honeymoon phase."

"No, actually," I turned my head towards him. "I don"t."

Spader gave me a knowing look. "Oh, right. You"re still innocent."

I frowned at him. "You knew that? There"s no way."

"Oh, yes, there is, Evie," Spader grinned. "All the signs are there."

"Like what?" I held up my hand before he could respond. "You know what? Forget it. I don"t want to know."

"You sure? Could help you."

"No, thanks. I plan on keeping it for a while."

"Forever is not "awhile"," Terrence piped up and picked up a French fry when he joined us. "Evie"s going to become an Olympian nun."

"Terrence!"

"What? You didn"t tell me to keep it a secret."

"Ugh, can we just stop talking about this?"

"Oh really?" Spader"s eyebrows raised. "You"re taking the Oath of Hestia?"

I looked at him. What the hell? Was the guy a mind reader? "How could you possibly know about that?"

Spader snickered. "Eva, is it that surprising that I know more than you give me credit for?"

thatHe let that hang there. I wasn"t about to add on to it. He eventually smiled.

"Don"t worry," He raised a hand. "I won"t tell you that it"s a mistake, or you"ll change your mind, or anything Terrence said. You do you, babe. You"re a grown woman."

"Wait a second." That was so far removed from Spader that I was shocked. "You"re actually supporting my decision?"

"Of course," Spader said. "If you"ve made up your mind, what could I say to change it?"

"Well, thank you, Spader. That"s very nice of you."

Spader fiddled with his phone for a second and mine buzzed. I lifted it out to see a picture of a n***d man from the waist down. I frowned at it when I realized it was from Spader.

"But as a grown woman, you should know what you"re missing."

"Is that thing real?"

"Oh, yeah. It"s real."

"Huh. I didn"t realize they came in miniature sizes." I deleted the picture. "And now? You"re blocked."

Spader gaped at me. "You can"t block me. I"m trying to help you."

"d**k pic is automatic grounds for blockage." I shrugged. "No exceptions."

Spader laughed. A reaction that I didn"t expect in the least.

"What the hell is so damn funny?"

"That wasn"t even me," He replied. "But you still made a snap decision on a wrong notion."

I felt my eyes narrow. First Terrence, now Spader. What I should have done was ask where he got another guy"s d**k pic, but I was too annoyed to press the issue.

"Spader, you sending that picture to prove a point is...disturbing," I began, "but I don"t have time for this. I"ve made up my mind. I know what my life will be like if I don"t fix this now."

"Spader!" I saw Heidi in a bikini rush over to the table. The damn thing could barely be classified as clothing. "We"re headed to the lake!"

"One minute, baby!" Spader called, then he turned to face me again. " I hear you Eva. I won"t judge your choices. All I will say is this. Four years ago, when you went to that expo in New York, you knew that Katharine had tricked you into saying the Sibyl"s oath. Two years ago, you knew you"d do the Covington episode and never see Rome or Jonah again. One year ago, you knew Cyrus was the be-all-end-all, and his word was law. And now, you know what your life will be like after you make a five-minute decision that will alter the rest of your immortal days. Imagine what you"ll know tomorrow."

I narrowed my eyes at Spader as he ran off with the Heidi girl. I knew he meant well. Terrence, too. But they didn"t know what it was like to be so damn alone all the time. They had each other. They had their significant others. Their playthings.

"Eva, come on!"

Joey bounded over to me and lifted me off the picnic bench. He was saved from the glare I threw at him thanks to my sunglasses.

"Why can"t I just stay here?" I grumbled. "I grew up next to the water. I live in Malibu. What the hell do I need to go to a lake for?"

"God but damn, you are hateful today," Joey threw his arm around my shoulders. "You went to see Chronos last week. Did you absorb his personality or something?"

"No," I pushed him a little. "I"m just not in the mood to be lectured at."

"Lectured?"

"Yeah. Terrence and Spader. I told them about the Hestia thing."

Joey went quiet and tightened his grip around my shoulders. He knew all about it. He was also in full support of my decision.

"They don"t understand, Evie. They won"t understand. Why"d you even tell them?"

"It just came out.

"You"re still meeting with Hestia tomorrow? Before your flight?"

"Of course. I have to show up, Joey, or I lose my one shot at getting this done."

"Eva."

I looked around to see Jonathan. The protector guide extended a beautiful silver chain that had a golden charm.

"I haven"t seen you for eight months, dear girl," He gave me a warm smile. "That meant your birthday came and went, so you didn"t get your present."

I held the chain with one hand and the pendant in the palm of the other. It was as gorgeous as the bracelet he had given me a week after we first met. As gorgeous as the dagger Jonah gave me, which now sat locked away in a safe in my home office.

"Jonathan, I love it," I told him. "Thank you. But what does the inscription mean?"

"It"s Latin, my dear," Jonathan answered. "It means "Know Thyself.""

I wasn"t used to getting gifts. Promotional merchandise that companies sent me in hopes for free advertising didn"t count. So, I was touched. I passed the necklace back to Jonathan.

"Put it on me?"

The old protector guide smiled. "Of course."

He slipped the chain around my neck and I held it against the base of my throat while he clasped it in place.

"Go on to the lake, Joseph. I wish to steal Eva away for a moment." Jonathan took my hand and placed it on the crook of his elbow. "Walk with me."

"Sure."

We headed away from the party and strolled around the shore.

"Shall I tell you the story of the necklace, Eva?"

"Please."

"It belonged to my late wife," He smiled at my look of surprise. "Before you say you can"t accept it, you already have."

I didn"t know what to say to that.

"I want you to consider those words, Evie. Remember the vision I showed you? It may still come to pass if you act too rashly."

"So this is about Jonah." I studied the ground as we walked. "Jonathan, the stipulation you gave me was to be physically alive when the battles were over. There was nothing about love in that equation."

I knew that"s where this was coming from. So he had heard about my oath then.

"Love has everything to do with it, dear child."

"Jonathan, I adore you. I adore Jonah, too. But he"s fine." I stopped and the spirit did as well. "Isn"t it obvious? Take today for example. Jonah has barely said five words to me. Whatever. The point is? He"s happy. That"s all that matters."

Jonathan gave me a knowing chuckle that made it clear that he knew something I didn"t. "Jonah hasn"t spoken much to you because your armor is up. What you saw wasn"t happiness, Eva. It"s infatuation. Jonah"s had an eye on you the whole time you"ve been here. But you"ve determinedly had your back to him. That is not judgement, I assure you. Merely an observation."

not"Have I?" I frowned. "I didn"t realize I was acting that way."

Jonathan nodded. "Body language, my dear. You"re speaking very clearly that you want no part of him. Now, is that true? Yes or no, I will not judge you, you have my word."

I considered my next words very carefully. I didn"t dare give too much away.

"Of course, that"s not true. Jonah is still one of my best friends. I"m simply respecting the boundaries he set himself. I am keeping my distance."

"Lola"s presence has nothing to do with that?"

"It does. I"m trying to respect her, too. I know what Terrence said, but the two of them have been all over each other. I am not going to go over and interrupt them."

Jonathan smiled. "Let me let you in on something, my Eva. The reason why Jonah and Lola are so affectionate today is because Lola is leaving town."

"I"m sorry?"

Jonathan nodded. "She"s going to London for a job at a news desk there. No small feat for an American newscaster. This cookout is a farewell."

I sighed then rubbed my forehead. "Then I shouldn"t be here at all."

"Pardon?"

"The focus should be on Lola. You should be with the rest of them, Jonathan. Not trying to convince me to hold out hope a little longer."

"Eva, that"s not what I meant."

"I know. You are far too kind to say it out loud. So I will say it for you. This is a celebration. A farewell for a woman I didn"t even know." I hugged him. "I"m going to go."

"Eva, are you certain?"

"Yes." I stepped back. "I don"t want to be the downer on her last day."

Jonathan nodded. "Very well. Come home again soon, child. We miss you."

The Sullivan House was a four mile walk from the estate. When I bought the place, I never imagined I would walk to it. But I wasn"t going to pull Joey away.

The walk was good for me. It gave me time to think of what Terrence had told me. What Spader had told me. But more importantly? I considered Jonathan"s words. He said Jonah was infatuated with the newscaster. And when that infatuation ended? I knew that meant he would move onto someone else. There was always someone else for him. Someone who wasn"t me.

I had to get over my feelings for Jonah. I knew that. It didn"t matter what Terrence said about wrecking Jonah"s life. It didn"t matter what Jonathan said in an attempt to keep me standing in the wings. Their words were sweet, but meaningless. Jonah was the only one who could make decisions about his life. And I was tired of hoping. Tired of waiting for something that was never going to happen. Tired of the rejection I received whenever I tried to get close to someone.

I entered the Sullivan House then tossed my keys on the table. I dropped down on the couch and considered my upcoming appearance. It was a Ted Talk. And I had just the right topic for it.

Ted TalkA rap on the glass made me jump up. I headed back to the kitchen and heard a muffled voice through the glass.

"Eva? You in there?"

"Jonah? What the hell are you doing here?"

I went to the back door to look at him through the glass. I convinced myself that it was better that way. Jonah looked me in the eye, and I had to turn away.

"I saw you leave," he answered. "Just wanted to make sure you were ok."

"You noticed?" I said in a tone colder than I intended.

"Of course, I noticed," Jonah stuffed his hands in his pockets. "You might not want me around anymore, and I get it, but I still want to know if you"re okay."

"Now wait one damn minute." I jerked the door open. "I never said I didn"t want you around me."

"You never come home, you only want to FaceTime, and you snubbed me at the barbeque. What else am I supposed to think?"

"I never come home because I"m busy with work, Jonah," I stood aside and pinched the bridge of my nose as I gave in. "Come in."

Jonah crossed the threshold before he turned back to me.

"I"m sorry if I seemed like a b***h at the party. I wasn"t trying to be. I was just respecting the boundaries you set. Respect you and Lola. That"s all."

The truth was, I missed Jonah desperately. It took everything I had not to throw myself in his arms. He didn"t want that. He"d told me himself he didn"t want that.

"Anyway, I was being a downer, so I left. Better that way."

"Eva, why did you think you were a downer?" Jonah asked. "Everyone wanted to see you, even Lola. She wanted to meet you before she went to the U.K. because I talk about you so much. I just thought you had no interest in being around me.

me"You know me better than that." I whispered. "And for the record? I thought you didn"t want to be around me. From what I"d heard before the party, you and Lola were pretty solid. I didn"t want to interrupt you two. Please understand that."

me"Eva, Lola and I are friends who just happen to have a physical relationship," Jonah said. "We wanted to have time together before she moved to London. But you weren"t interrupting anything. I was looking forward to talking to you. I missed the hell out of you. But that "don"t talk to me" across your forehead might as well have been a neon sign."

"Jonathan brought that to my attention. I didn"t realize how I was coming across." I considered my next words. "I"ve missed the hell out of you, too, Jonah."

"Come here."

Jonah pulled me into his embrace, and I closed my eyes to keep my tears back. He would always seem like home to me. I had a feeling that would never change.

I held him back until I caught the whiff of a woman"s perfume on his clothes. That was enough to make me loosen up.

"When does Lola go to London?" I cleared my throat to hide the emotion from it. "I know you"ll want every second with her before she leaves."

"Two days from now," Jonah said. "I"ve got time. And because I know you, Superstar? It"s not Lola"s perfume. She doesn"t wear perfume. You smell Nella"s perfume. We were laughing ourselves silly playing flag football."

Uh huh.

"I don"t know what you"re talking about."

Jonah gave me a look and I laughed. I couldn"t help it. He really did know me better than anyone ever would.

Stop it, I scolded myself. It"s only as a friend.

Stopit,It"s only as a friend.His next words confirmed it.

"So, friends?" Jonah smiled. "I think we both let rumors get the best of us."

"Always friends," I willed the ache in my chest to stop. It would be completely gone in a few more hours. "Blue and gold, right?

"Blue and gold eternal," Jonah said with a grin. "Will you come back? I"ve kind of been hoping to see your revenge body."

I frowned. "My what?"

"Well, clearly you"ve been doing something." Jonah regarded me. "I thought Hell hath frozen over and someone had you working out."

something"Hell is perfectly safe at the moment. I"m not working out. I"ve been trying to take up running."

That was good. Better than telling him that I"d been trying to outrun my memories.

"Trying?"

"Yeah. Trying. I hate running with a passion." Now, I regarded him. "You really want me to come back?"

"I do. Bring a bathing suit. You can get in the lake."

"Give me a minute."

I slipped upstairs and grabbed a bikini from my dresser. I put it on beneath my outfit then grabbed an extra t-shirt to throw over it. I came back downstairs and tugged at my bun to tighten it.

"I walked back," I said as I approached him. "But we can take the Rover if you want."

"We can walk, no problem," Jonah said. "The party is going to continue until three a.m. at least. We haven"t had much fun lately, so they"re not about to let the party end too soon."

I grabbed my keys as we exited the house. I kept my hands under the extra shirt. Helped me keep them to myself.

"New jewelry?" Jonah pointed to my necklace. "It"s nice."

"It is. Jonathan gave it to me."

"Oh, yeah." Jonah nodded. "That must be the birthday present he"s been keeping warm for you. It"s pretty damn awesome."

"Jonathan said it belonged to his wife back in the day."

"Really? Can I see it?"

We stopped and Jonah lifted the pendant off my throat. I felt my breath catch when his fingers grazed against my skin. I hated myself for that reaction.

"It"s Latin."

"It means something like "Know thyself".

Jonah lowered the pendant back into place. "Good philosophy to have."

"I"m pretty sure it"s a cryptic message. You know how Jonathan is."

"You"ll figure it out someday." Jonah gave me a small smile and we resumed our walk. "So, what"s on tap tomorrow? Joey said you have an appearance. He wouldn"t say what it was for."

"Oh. I"m doing another damn Ted Talk," I shrugged. "Haven"t the slightest clue what I want to say. I"ll write out something tonight and memorize it on the plane tomorrow."

Ted Talk"Another Ted Talk? And you didn"t tell me?" Jonah stuffed his hands in his pockets. "I could come to see it in person."

Ted Talk"No, you can"t." I dodged a chunk of asphalt from the road. "One, I hate doing Ted Talks. So I"m going to do my part and bounce. There"s no use in you making a trip all the way to New York to see it. And two, you"ll be busy tomorrow, I"m sure."

Ted Talks"Lola is just a friend, Evie."

"And you are always there for your friends." I parroted back words that I had heard him say a million times. "So be there for your friend. If she"s going to London, I get why you want to spend so much time together. I"m fine."

Spend as much time as you want with her. Making out with her. Hanging all over her. Then, once she is good and settled across the ocean, you can use the Astralimes to keep it all up.

Spend as much time as you want with her. Making out with her. Hanging all over her. Then, once she is good and settled across the ocean, you can use the Astralimes to keep it all up.I hated myself for my thoughts. I really, really did. I hated myself for the jealousy I held for the woman. It was stupid. I had no reason to be jealous. I had no claim on Jonah. He"d given me no indication that we"d be anything more than what we were.

I had to put this behind me. Every moment I could cling to was a fraudulent one. I had to remember that more than anything else.

"Who all is going with you?" Jonah glanced my way. "Joey and Pedro?"

"No. They are taking Pedro"s boat out. Something to do with romance on the high seas." I made a face and Jonah laughed. "It"s ridiculous and sappy, but hey. Whatever makes them happy."

"Did you just make a rhyme?"

"Ew. Not on purpose. I"m no poet."

"Rhyming "sappy" and "happy" doesn"t make you a poet, Superstar." Jonah laughed again and I hoped he"d dropped the whole Ted Talk thing. Instead, he went right back on topic. "Who"ll be there to support you?"

Ted Talk"I don"t need support, Jonah." I shrugged. It was only the truth. I"d done so many appearances on my own, it didn"t faze me anymore. "This won"t be the first time I walk into a theatre alone. It won"t be my last. I"m just going to talk then leave. No more. No less. It"s no big deal."

"You seriously don"t want anyone there with you?" Jonah frowned. "You usually relish at the chance to have your people in the audience. When did that change, Superstar?"

"Um, Jonah? Things didn"t change. I tend to be alone unless I"m on location. I thought you knew that." I shifted the shirt I carried. Maybe he didn"t. Jonah never traveled with me. He didn"t ask questions about my interviews or promotional gigs. I shoved back my memories of both Cyrus and Joey telling me that was a red flag. I didn"t need the reminders when it was all too obvious now. "Anyway, I"m used to being alone."

"That"s sad."

"Not really. The only person I have to answer to is myself. I don"t have to ask for permission, I can come and go as I please. And if I need praise that badly after I"ve done something? Then I"m in the wrong line of work."

It was only the truth. I"d made my peace with it. As Jonah always said, it was what it was.

Jonah smiled just a bit. "It"s nice to see you, Eva. It"s nice to be talking to you again."

I knew that tone. The one that said he didn"t agree with me, but he wasn"t going to force the issue. There was something else in his tone, too. Something that sounded like regret.

Of course, there was. He"d left a perfectly good celebration to get...what had Joey called me? The grey man on Rainbow Brite?

Rainbow Brite"I told you I was a downer." I stopped. "You sure you want me around tonight, Jonah? I don"t blame you one bit if you don"t."

"Why do you think you"re a downer?" Jonah tilted his head towards me. "Eva, no one is saying that but you, I promise. And given your new status as a loner, company that"s not like the vultures in L.A. would do you good."

"You think so?"

Jonah clasped me by the elbow and initiated the Astralimes. We appeared right next to the lake where everyone was having the time of their lives.

"You didn"t have to use the Astralimes."

"Worth it." He grinned. "Had to get you back here before you took off in the other direction."

"You"re back!" Lola strolled up in a bikini that told me exactly why she and Jonah had made their little arrangement. She wrapped her arm around his waist then grinned at me. "Where"d you go?"

"Had to get a swimsuit," I lied. I"d gotten better at that over the past few months. "Jonah was nice enough to give me a lift back."

"You change," She shoved Jonah playfully. "You have way too much clothes on."

Why did I let Jonah talk me into coming back? Was I really that much of a masochist?

Jonah started to take off his shirt and I was saved when Joey ran up to grab my arm.

"You"re actually going to get in the water?"

"I never said that. I figured I could work on my tan or something."

"With a shirt on?"

"Joey? You"re doing that thing again."

"What thing?"

"Getting on my nerves."

"You two are funny," Lola giggled so I had to turn back around. "No wonder the crowds love you."

"We"re a riot." I responded drily. "Joey is the real star. I"m just the face."

"You gonna strip down, too?"

Jonah wrapped his arm around Lola"s shoulders. I forced myself to keep my eyes on his face. This didn"t matter. The sharp pain in my heart whenever I saw the two of them together didn"t matter. I could do this. I would this. I blinked when I realized Jonah was still talking.

would "I"m sorry? I missed that last part."

"I asked if you were going to wait a little longer before you got in the water."

"How much longer until it"s dark?"

"Evie!" Jonah looked up at the sky then down at me. "I swear, you"re hopeless."

"Fine." I muttered. I passed Joey my shirt and pulled the green one over my head. I"d gone with a standard white two piece with every intention of hiding it under the shirt. I stripped out of the shorts, too when Spader whistled.

"That"s not something a nun would wear!"

I flipped him off and Joey passed me the extra shirt.

"You can"t wear that in the water!" Lola caught my arm as I started to put it on. "Come on!"

"Really, its-"

I ended up dropping the shirt on the shoreline as she dragged me into the water. Whatever. I"d just hide under the waves then.

I swam out far enough that I was covered. I broke the surface seconds before Terrence swam up beneath me, lifted me up, and threw me back over his shoulders.

I hit the water with a splash and came up laughing.

"Go drown someone else!" I laughed as Terrence splashed me. "Dammit, Terrence!"

"Uh huh. Made you laugh." He grinned. "Let"s play a game."

"Like what?"

"How about a chicken fight?" Spader swam up next to us. "You can ride me, Evie."

"Ride you?"

"On my shoulders," He grinned. "Course, that"s not your only option."

"I"ve already embarrassed you once today, Spader." I wiped water out of my eyes. "I"m about to do it again."

"Oh, just get on."

"I don"t know how to play this game."

"Easy. The girls climb up and you try to knock each other off."

Jonah got Nella on his shoulders while Terrence got Lola on his and Reena got Douglas on hers.

"Hey!" Douglas protested with a laugh. "I"m not a girl!"

"I subvert girl tropes, dude," Reena said. "You know that."

"Up." Spader tapped his shoulder. "Get on top of me."

I grumbled under my breath as I straddled the back of Spader’s head.

"If no one has ever told you this, Spades, you"re a creeper."

"Just callin" it like I see it…ow!"

I smacked the top of his head. "Shut up and let"s just see if we can lose this as quickly as possible."

"Oh, trying to lose so you can vanish, huh?"

"Yes!" I snapped at him. "Or just dunk me now. That"d be better."

Spader backed away from the game as it got started.

"Spader, what the hell are you doing?"

"Giving you a platform to shine on."

"I don"t need a damn platform. You wanted to play this stupid game. Let"s play it."

He didn"t move. Whenever I tried to throw myself backwards in the water, he would lean forward so I couldn"t. I growled softly to myself before I leaned over his head.

"You are killing me, Spader. Either play the game or put me down."

"Oh, calm down. It"s not like Jonah hasn"t seen you n***d before. I heard about the garage thing."

"First off, I wasn"t n***d, and it was dark as hell. So, no. He hasn"t seen me anywhere close to n***d. Put me down."

"He sees you n***d nightly in his dreams," Spader grinned. "Don"t think he doesn"t. You know what? Let"s get him. You teasing him and lighting the fire to his dreams could be your last great act as an emotional creature."

"Spader, no!"

"Hey Jonah! Nella!" Spader called over my words. "Eva said y"all ain"t got s**t on us!"

"I hate you so much."

I had seconds to react as Nella grabbed at me so that we locked arms. I tried to loosen up. I tried to throw myself off balance. But Spader held onto me

"Dammit, Evie! Fall!" Nella laughed.

"I"m trying! Spader won"t let me!"

Nella raised her eyebrow, then deliberately pitched herself backward. Jonah looked at her in surprise once she bobbed her head back up.

"What the hell, Nella?" Jonah asked.

"Hey," Nella shrugged, "Goldie"s stronger than she looks!"

"Nella!"

"What?" She grinned up at me. "You are."

"Lola!" I called over to Jonah"s "friend". "Come knock me off. Please!"

"Sorry!" Lola laughed. "I"m over here trying to drop Doug!"

"See, Goldie!" Spader laughed. "You ain"t getting away!"

"Fine. You wanna play dirty? I can, too."

"What are you-"

"Spader sent me a picture of his-"

I hit the water so hard, I inhaled a ton of it. I came up sputtering as I tried to cough and laugh at the same time.

"Uh huh. Knew that was yours."

Spader shook his head. "Party foul, Eva. You"re just mad because I reminded you that you wanted it."

"What are ya"ll talking about?" Jonah swam over, but he kept his distance from me. No surprise there. "Spader sent you a picture of his what?"

"Barbie doll collection." I grinned sweetly at Spader, who glared at me. "He keeps it in his closet. He"s convinced that I want it, but I don"t want to play with his toys."

"You"re too damn harsh, Evie."

"So, who"s winning?" I pushed away from Spader and waded next to Jonah. "Lola or Doug?"

"I am, of course," Lola called. "Doug wants to be a gentleman, so he"s holding back!"

"Go for it, Doug!"

Jonah laughed when Lola stuck her tongue out at him. She squealed when she landed in the water.

I watched as Jonah swam over to her. I saw him lift her up and she pressed herself against him.

"Oh, that"s nice," Lola purred. "I think we need to go inside for a bit."

What in the hell was she talking about?

"Dammit, Evie," Spader swam up next to me as Lola pulled Jonah into yet another make out session. "You were supposed to tease him! Now, Lola"s getting the benefits."

"What benefits?"

Spader and Terrence both cut their eyes over at me. I got it.

"Oh, for god"s" sake! Drop it, you two. That," I gestured towards Lola and Jonah. "Is not for me. I don"t know how to make that any more obvious. Hell, I don"t know how Jonah can make it more obvious!"

Jonah "Come on, Evie. Let"s go for a swim." Nella shook water from her eyes. "It can"t make you feel great having to watch that."

"It doesn"t matter. That"s the point I keep trying to make." I rubbed my hand over my eyes. "Jonah can do whatever he wants. It doesn"t bother me in the slightest."

"Right," Nella drew out the word. "You comin"?"

I dove under the water and went as deep as I could before I actually began to swim. The shadows covered everything. Even the long strands of plant life that stroked at my skin when I swam over them.

I was fine. Better than fine. For once, I was taking control of something in my life. I hadn"t told Jonah yet, but I knew I would soon. I knew he"d probably be relieved. He wouldn"t worry about hurting my feelings when he told me he had found someone else. Again.

Nella and I lapped the lake twice before we finally left the water. It wasn"t until I stepped on the shore that I realized my legs were shaking.

"Evie, catch!"

I caught the t-shirt Joey threw at me as Pedro wrapped my shoulders up in a towel. "Thanks, but can I get out of the water first?"

"Sure, sure," Pedro spoke reassuringly. "We are only trying to ensure your comfort, chica."

Right. Joey had told him about my issues before. I wasn"t surprised by the gesture. I should have seen it as sweet, but when I noticed the others cutting their eyes over at me as I dried off, all I could think about was why I was like this in the first place.

I dropped the shirt over my head and sat in on the dock to watch the volleyball game that had started while I was in the water.

"Hey," Joey sat next to me and mimicked my seating position with his knees drawn up to his chest. "You hanging in there?"

"I"m good," I turned to look at him. "Why?"

"I know how hard it is to see Jonah and Lola together. I"m just checking on you."

"There"s no reason to check on me."

"Sure, there is," Joey studied me. "I know it hurts like hell, but now, maybe you can move on. The oath tomorrow will help."

"Jonah is not the reason I am taking that oath tomorrow."

"Well, regardless of your reasons, I"m proud of you. You"re taking steps to make yourself feel better." Joey slung his arm around my neck. "Always remember, you got me. You don"t need a ton of folk, anyway."

I didn"t respond to that. He wouldn"t have heard me anyway. He and Pedro fell into a conversation about their little romantic getaway.

"Evie, can we talk to you for a second?" Terrence cut his eyes over at Joey. "Alone?"

"We?"

"Yeah. Me and Spader."

"Why don"t you go harass Jonah like you"re harassing me?"

"Can"t," Spader came up behind Terrence. "He and Lola went into the house to get drinks. We all know what they are really doing."

"That"s not an image I want in my head."

"Come on."

Terrence lifted me up. I excused myself from Joey and the conversation I was no longer a part of to follow them. When we reached the tree line, they stopped.

"What?"

"What"s with Joey and Pedro swooping in like they did?" Terrence rocked back on his heels. "I"m curious."

"I don"t know what you"re talking about."

"Sure, you do." Spader pulled out a joint and lit it. "That s**t doesn"t remind you of anyone?"

"They brought me a towel and it"s supposed to remind me of someone?"

"No. They wrapped you up tighter than a pig in a blanket trying to hide you." Terrence took the joint. "You have nothing to be ashamed of. You gotta stop letting other people screw with your head to make you believe otherwise."

"You"ve lost me, Terrence."

"Evie," Terrence came in closer like he was about to tell me a secret code. "You"re out here being beautiful, splashing around, and having fun. Then Joey and Pete come over, get you out of the water, make sure you"re back to hiding, then go on about their day? Don"t that seem a tad familiar to you? Keeping you in check and isolating you?"

I met Terrence"s eyes and then pinched the bridge of my nose.

"Now, I get it. You"re referring to Cyrus. But this is different."

"How is it different?"

"Because Joey doesn"t leave me black and blue?" I gestured to the joint. "Give me that."

"The same principles apply, Evie."

"Or maybe, they are just trying to be nice. Maybe it"s their way of showing me they care."

I nearly choked on the smoke when Spader responded.

"No offense, Evie, but you wouldn"t recognize someone taking care of you if it bit you on the ass."

"Explain that."

"I shouldn"t have to."

"Obviously, you do, since I"m the glorified i***t. What are you saying, Spader?"

Spader looked more serious than I"d ever seen him.

"Eva, this isn"t fun, crude Spader talking, this is real. Cyrus beat you when you disagreed with him. Told you that his way was the only way, non-negotiable. Now, Joey and Petey over there decide to swaddle you up in a towel, and distance you away from people you already haven"t seen for almost a year. That"s not caring, Eva. There is another motive behind it. If it is malicious or shady, I don"t know. But they weren"t showing that they care. That was what Jonathan did. What we did and do for you. Have we ever told you to hide who you are? Have we ever told you who you could and couldn"t talk to? You"ve been here for weeks in the past and not once did we pull you to the side and say, "Just stay here. You"ve got us.""

I stared at Spader as my stomach started to sink. Joey wouldn"t do that to me. Would he?

Of course, he would. I turned back towards the lake. Everyone abandoned me eventually. They got what they could and then vanished.

"Eva?"

I blinked back the tears in my eyes then turned towards them with the plastic smile I had perfected over the years.

"You are both very sweet and I love you dearly for it."

"Cut the act, Eva." Spader snapped. "This is serious."

"You think I don"t know that?" I responded with the same amount of heat that Spader had thrown at me. "You think I don"t remember what I went through? Do you honestly believe that I"m not aware of the fact that Joey is using me for the show and my money? Pedro for the same reasons? I do, alright? I get it. But what the hell does it matter? They are going to drop me eventually. Everybody f*****g drops me. At least, just for one minute, let me pretend that someone gives an actual damn about me."

I turned towards the house and remembered that I couldn"t go there. I turned towards the lake and wondered if I could run home from the other shoreline. I wanted to run. I needed to run.

There was nowhere to go. Terrence caught my arm and pulled me into a hug. I stiffened against him.

"Don"t." I let my voice return back to normal. "Don"t do that pity crap with me, Terrence. I can"t stand it."

"Eva, can you take that armor down for one goddamn second?" Terrence said sternly. "This is not pity. It"s love. Affection. Everyone doesn"t abandon you. We are here for you."

goddamnnot We"No."

"No, what?"

"No, I can"t take the armor down. I can"t. I"ll never stop crying if I do."

"I don"t think it"s a good idea for you to go back to the Sullivan House tonight." Terrence loosened his grip so that I could breathe. "Stay with us. You need to get away from Joey for a little while."

"I can"t stay. I have to meet with Hestia at dawn and then catch a flight to New York. I still have to write my monologue, too."

"We"ll get you set up in a room. You can leave in the morning." Terrence gave me a soft smile. "I"ll even make you pancakes."

"I don"t know why you even bother. I only eat one bite."

"That caring thing just bit you on the a*s, Evie," Spader threw his arm around my neck. "Told you so."

"Shut up."

I let Spader pull me against his side, and he kissed me on the side of the head. Any other time, I would have shoved him away. But I knew I"d just prove his point.

"If I"m staying here, I need a clean set of clothes. I also need my work bag and my luggage. Let me borrow your car to go get it."

"Are you going to bring it back?"

"If it doesn"t break down on the four-mile drive? Then, yes. I am also going to take a shower. I am covered in lake gunk."

"Ok. Let"s go get the keys."

I followed Spader to the mudroom where the keyrings were kept. I took the keys from him as Jonah and Lola passed by the door without realizing we were there.

They were flushed. Laughing. I heard Lola say something about doing it again.

"Evie," Spader caught my arm. "Don"t let this get to you. I don"t think Jonah understands what he"s doing."

"Jonah is a grown man. He can do whatever he wants. I don"t factor into that equation."

"He loves you, Eva."

"If Jonah loves me the way everyone else says he does, then Jonah would be with me. There would be no apologies. No friends with benefits. No make out sessions in front of me or running off to have s*x while I"m around." I palmed the keys Spader passed me. "So everyone else is wrong. He doesn"t love me anymore than he loves Reena or Nella. The sooner ya"ll stop trying to convince me otherwise, the better."

"How do you not see-"

"I"m done talking about this." I found his car key on the ring and the rest jingled as they fell into place. "I"ll be back in a few hours. Tell Jonah so he doesn"t have to leave Lola again."

"Yeah, ok."

I went to the garage and started up Spader"s old Buick. I was nearly home when the tears I had held back all day started. I pulled into the driveway and stayed in the car as I cried not for Jonah, but for all the lies I had wanted to believe so badly.

I made it back to the estate three hours later. Joey and Pedro were nowhere to be found, but I spotted a bonfire on the shore. So, I left my bags in Spader"s car and walked towards it. The flames were beautiful. Mesmerizing.

"Evie, you gotta stop leaving us behind!" Joey grinned up from his spot next to Pedro. "Spader said something about staying at the estate tonight?"

"Yeah," I ignored the looks Terrence and Spader were giving me. "I need a change of scenery, is all."

"You"re spending the night?" Lola grinned as well. "Oh, that"s awesome. I"m staying tonight, too. Maybe we can talk over dinner or something."

Not sure how we"re going to talk if you constantly have your mouth on Jonah, but ok.

Not sure how we"re going to talk if you constantly have your mouth on Jonah, but ok.I kept that thought to myself. Instead, I dropped down next to Joey.

"Sure. I"d like that."

"We actually had a movie date planned for the trio of us," Joey said. "So maybe Eva doesn"t need to-"

"You had nothing planned." Reena was all smiles, but there was something in her voice that was a little firm. "You and Pedro were going to hang out here then go home before you shipped out tomorrow on your little love boat. So why are you lying?"

I focused on Joey. My best friend ducked his face behind a red cup to drink before answering.

"We wanted to surprise Evie," He laughed. "I guess there"s no point now."

"Yeah, ok," Reena shrugged. "So, what are we going to do tonight?"

"Well, we have this great campfire. Terrence brought the stuff to make s’mores," Lola sat up from where she had been laying her head on Jonah"s shoulder. "Let"s tell ghost stories!"

Great. Yeah, that was an idea.

Great. Yeah, that was an ideaI didn"t say that out loud. Instead, I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear as she continued.

"Jonah used to write the best ones. Tell us one, J."

Jonah patted my leg. I glanced down at his hand and wondered why the hell he"d done that. I saw Lola reach behind Jonah"s neck to play with his hair, so I pulled my leg out of his reach. He was just being nice. Nothing more, nothing less.

"Before I knew I was an Eleventh, I was in Charleston taking the tour for Fort Johnson," Jonah began. "While the tour guide was talking, I actually, plain as day, I saw a group of spirits fighting tooth and nail from the Civil War. I was scared as hell. I even heard the cannons. Could you imagine seeing explosions and nothing blowing up? People around me are not even batting an eye?"

"What happened?" Lola leaned forward. "Did they say anything?"

"Not a word. They just fought each other. Vanished after a few minutes."

"You saw a residual haunting."

"What is it called, Eva?" Lola focused on me now. "I"ve never heard of those."

You would have if you"ve ever seen my show.

You would have if you"ve ever seen my show.I didn"t say that out loud either. Instead, I cleared my throat and tried again.

"A residual haunting. It"s when the energy created by a specific event gets caught in a time loop. Like, an old video tape stuck on repeat."

"I bet you have a million stories." Lola breathed out. "Your turn."

Jesus, really? I glanced over at Jonah to make sure he was finished. He gestured for me to go ahead, so I took a moment. I stared into the flames as I began to speak.

"All ghost stories are love stories. The widow who walks the shore, waiting for her husband to return from sea. The saintly grandmother who remains in her home after her passing to ensure her babies are protected. Even those spirits who try to harm the living have love in their stories. Because they loved the place they are trying to protect."

I paused for a second before I continued.

"I read an account once that really stuck with me. A woman lost her beloved husband when he was fighting in Iraq. She was a believer in the spirit world. She became convinced that he would reach out to her from beyond his grave. Nothing ever happened. The paranormal events never occurred. So she turned to her own memories. She couldn"t stop thinking about the man she had lost. Her mind would wander back to their happiest days. Then, she began to think of what could have been. The what ifs of a future that was never to be."

I paused again. This time, long enough to get the rest of my words together.

"You see, it wasn"t the paranormal that haunted the widow. There was no ghost in the true sense for her to fear. She wasn"t haunted by a spirit. She was haunted by her own mind. Her memories became her obsession. Her dreams of what could have been took over her every moment until she became like a spirit herself. She stopped eating, stopped going to work. She damned herself into a hell of her own making."

"Makes sense." Lola nodded. "I"m agnostic, wasn"t raised in the church, so we were taught that there was no Hell, just the hells we create with our focus and thoughts. If thoughts are strong enough to create dark places, why can"t they create hauntings?"

"That was so depressing, chica," Pedro looped his arm through mine and rested his head on my shoulder. "Tell us a funny one. Like the time Joey walked in and that spiritess threw an old bowl at his head."

"I"ll let Joey tell that one."

"I didn"t think it was sad. I thought it was beautiful." Lola returned her head to Jonah"s shoulder. "I"m no romantic, but even I felt something hearing that."

I heard her, but I wasn"t really listening. In my mind, I was already writing the words I was going to say before a packed theatre in New York.

Joey goosed me on the side and broke my train of thought. Didn"t matter. I already had it down.

"What?"

"Didn"t you?"

"Did I what?"

"Demand to go back into a hotel room after a ghost threw you out." He grinned at me before he turned back to the others. "Hand to God, I have it on tape. Evie was thrown through a door by a spirit in Montana. When I asked her if she was going back in, she did her little sword trick and said "Of course, I am. My new Louis Vuitton is in there."

That got a laugh. I shrugged. "It was vintage. I wasn"t letting the spirit have it."

"Why did you have a Louis Vuitton bag with you ?" Nella asked.

"What can I say?" I replied, trying for humor, though I wasn"t really feeling it. "I"m a fancy ghost hunter."

"Very fancy," Jonah leaned forward with a smile. "First time we ever saw you, you were wearing what? Two-hundred-dollar jeans?"

"Five hundred." I scoffed at the very thought of Calvin Klein’s costing two hundred dollars. "And I was trying to intimidate ya"ll into keeping your distance. It was a...a thing."

"Didn"t work in the slightest, Evie," Spader leaned back on his arms. "Look at you now. Adopted into the fold."

"That"s sweet, Spader."

"What time are you heading upstairs, Evie?" Pedro got off me and I shook my shoulder out. "We will stay until you are settled in. Then, I am afraid, Joey and I will make our exit."

"Ya"ll can go now-"

"No, no. It won"t do for us to just leave you. We brought you to the party. We"ll see you to the end of it."