Goodbye [JiminXReader]

Episode 19

YOUR POV

I woke up feeling a tremendous pain in my back and my face felt so swollen and it hurts. I tried sitting up with the pain on my back, groaning and biting my lips, trying not to let any more groans escape my lips. I went and took a warm bath and let's say it was a bad idea. Normally when people take a bath, it should be comforting and relaxing but to me, it hurts. The warm water touching my new opened scars and bruises felt like lots of needles stabbing on my skin thousand times repeatedly. Every drop of water felt like fire burning on my scars, making it worst. When I was done bathing or should I say suffering, I went to the mirror and saw a horrible looking girl, oh it's me. I used to have an average weight of any other girl, not too skinny nor too fat. But now all I see is a skinny, pale looking girl with bones sticking out as if the girl starved for years and dying. And to top that was lots of purple-black bruises, red line here and there and some old scars. But the most "Beautiful" thing was my back that was carved by Mrs.Natalie yesterday night. I turned my body slightly and saw a big "SLUT" carved on my back near my neck. It was bloody deep and it will take months or years for it to heal. Of course Mrs.Natalie carved more hurtful comments on my back like "w***e" "kill yourself" but what stood out the most was "you don't deserve love", I've known that from the start and now its carved on my back and my foster parents are back, they will keep reminding me that I don't deserve love. But that's the only thing that I want in this world. After experiencing all these beatings and punishments for something I've never done was love. After minutes of just looking at my beautifully carved back, caressing my back and the cuts I made myself and letting some sinful tears run down my face while having a million thoughts, I went and change into something comfortable and could hide all my scars and bruises, especially my back. And let's say, even changing was painful to me. The cloth sliding down, making contact with my back and having to move my sore back was painful.

I went down and saw my foster parents sitting at the dining table, drinking coffee while reading newspaper. Once I set my foot on the floor, they turned their head towards my direction. Once they saw it's me, they glare at me.

"G-good morning Mrs.Natalie and Mr.Andrew......" I greeted them while looking at the floor.

"Ugh it's you," Mrs.Natalie said and I could feel the feeling of frustration and disgusted by her tone. I knew they were expecting my brother and not me since he's their favorite child.

I ignore the feeling and Mrs.Natalie and went to the kitchen and cooked breakfast for my brother since they already ate. I went and on the fire and took out a pan and put it on top of the gas stove. I poured some oil on top of the heated pan and waited for a while so the pan is hot and ready to cook. When I felt that the pan was hot enough, I felt a presence behind me and next thing I know was my hand on the pan, making contact with the hot pan and pain radiating through my hand. I accidentally let out a scream, which earns me a slap from Mrs.Natalie.

"Better shut the f**k up before you get worst punishment, " Mrs.Natalie said, pushing my hand harder towards the heated pan and I could feel her nails digging into my arm while her grip tightened. The pain was so f*****g unbearable, it was so hot that I could feel my palm melting. But that's not all. She even poured some oil on top to make it worse. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying not to scream out. Soon Mrs.Natalie release her grip on my hand and left while laughing evilly. I quickly went to the sink and wash my bloody and swollen hand. Once the cold water made contact with my swollen red hand, I screamed quietly. Its worse than any beatings I felt and it was as if someone is burning my hand with strong fire. The pain went through my whole body, it felt like my body is burning and I had to bite down on my lips so that I wouldn't make any noise. Once I felt the pain was decreasing, I quickly cook some food using just a hand which took me a longer time than usual. I did not bandage my hand nor did anything and quickly ran out. While I'm walking to school I felt something wet on m lips. I used my thumb to rub my lips and saw it was blood. Guess I bit my lips a little bit too hard just now while I was washing my swollen hand. 'Do I have to suffer all the pain by myself? Not once did anybody came and help me. Not even when I was beaten in the hallway, not even when I was beaten by my foster parents. Jin oppa was the only one who came and helps me and be my friend but I don't want to be a burden to Jin Oppa...... ' I thought sadly. I could still feel my hand throbbing but i ignore it and continued walking to school. 

SKIPS TO LUNCHTIME

I was walking around the school since its lunchtime and I don't want to go to the cafeteria anymore after so many things happened, like people throwing foo at me, shouting hurtful comments at me, hyunnie and jimin making out...... so I decided to walk around and soon settle myself and the garden again. The garden was always my hideout, it gives me the feeling of calm and peacefulness. I sat there, looking at the sky, looking through the window and saw everybody having fun with their friends, laughing around while I'm here, alone. I saw a cute couple passing by, they were hugging each other, feeding each other, having fun and did everything me and jimin did not do. Without knowing a small smile formed on my face. I felt my heart squeeze a little when I thought about Jimin. I was just looking around, relaxing until someone shouted my name. I turned around and saw Jin Oppa far away, waving in my direction and saw behind him was........ the rest of BTS. I quickly looked away, looking for a way out while panicking. I didn't know how to face them nor to trust them after seeing them cheering on hyunnie and Jimin oppa to make out even though they knew I had a huge crush on Jimin oppa and we are officially dating. I was about to run until someone blocked me from running. I turned around and saw it was Jungkook oppa who blocked me. He gave me a sad look before asking "Why are you running away from us, Yoona? Are you hiding from us?" Before I could answer, the rest of Bts member stood in front me and asked the same question. They were looking at me, waiting for my answer. I felt so small under their gaze. I was fidgeting, playing with my sleeve. I was looking everywhere except their eyes, thinking of an answer. My eyes stopped at a certain couple. I squinted my eyes to have a better look. The guy had black hair and his clothing looked a bit like Jimin's oppa. I got closer to have a better look and saw it was .....Jimin oppa and.... hyunnie. 'Why am I not shocked anymore? Maybe I was used to it? Maybe I knew that I was just a BET? Or maybe it because i didn't want to make a fuss with Jimin because I love him too much and wants him to be by my side even though I knew that im nothing to him?'I saw both of them, feeding each other, hugging and Jimin Oppa placing small kisses on hyunnie's face, making her giggle a little. They really do look like a couple. Suddenly Jimin Oppa kissed hyunnie on the lips and she immediately reacts back by deepening the kiss and wrapping her arms around Jimin oppa's neck. While they were making out, Jimin oppa and I made eye contact and he..... smirked? He knew I was looking and instead of pulling back, he ..... smirked? I didn't now I was staring at them while crying until I heard taehyung oppa's voice full of concern, snapping me out of my thoughts and breaking eye contact with Jimin oppa. I turned around and saw all of them looking at me with eyes filled with concern. I was about to run until someone grabbed my swollen hand due to the incident that happened this morning, making me accidentally screamed, which made the grip on my hand loosen. I slowly turned around only to meet 6 confused faces and Hoseok oppa looking at his hand. 'He must be the one who grabbed my hand, he looked kind of guilty' Before I could opened my mouth and say anything, Jin Oppa cut in.

"Yoona, what happened to your hand? Show it to me ." Jin Oppa said with a stern face.

"Its n-nothing oppa" I replied quietly. And Jin Oppa grabbed my hand in a sudden and I heard lots of gasps.

"Y-Yoona, why is your hand so s-swollen? And why is your face full of bruises?" I heard someone ask.

"N-nothing," I said, yanking my hand away. And without warning, Taehyung oppa hugged me, which ends up touching my back and I let out a painful scream but not too loud. They looked at me, confused again. 'Ugh, why didn't I keep quiet? Now how am I supposed to tell them?'

"Yoona, show me your back too," Jin oppa asked again.

And this time I didn't bother staying here anymore, not wanting them to know, I quickly ran away and could hear them screaming my name but I ignore it. I went to the bathroom stall and locked myself, crying for the pain on my back, my hand and my life and lastly, my shattered heart. I kept crying and crying and the next thing I know is school ended. 'Time for my work, it is my first day working, I couldn't be late.' I stood in front of the mirror and washed my face to look more presentable. My swollen, red eyes and my pale face full of bruises was the only thing I saw. I quickly pull over my hoodie and ran out, going to my workplace. The boss gave me the working attire and told me what to do. My job was to serve people and take down what they want, and that's the worst thing to do in a bar full of pervert drunkards. 'Let's just wish nothing happens' i said to myself and went out, starting the first day of my job. 

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