Infernal Incarnation: Asmodeus to Ari

Chapter 2

*****

Ari seemed more troubled than normal today, but hasn't said a word yet and it's been almost 10 minutes. Liz was used to Ari being a deep thinker and sometimes getting lost in silent thought, but this was some intense brooding. I wonder what happened to make Ari so pensive... they look so much more serious than they have in previous sessions, Liz thinks to herself. She has been analyzing Ari as they sit there in silence, but clears her throat to see if she can shake them back to the present. What happened to have them so intensely focused inward?  When her clearing her throat didn't seem to garner any attention from Ari, she broke the silence, speaking directly to them. 

"Ari, is everything alright? You've been sitting here in silence since you came in, and we're already behind on getting our session started. Has something happened that has you so far away from here?" 

Ari just looks up at her after a moment, then sighs as they rub their face. Taking a sharp inhale, Ari looks down and fiddles with their fingers, then looks back up and asks, "Liz, do you remember when we first started our sessions? When you tried to get me to open up about my childhood and you thought I was pulling your leg when I told you that I sincerely couldn't remember anything about it?" Liz nodded her head in response, then Ari continued, "Do you remember when you offered to perform hypnotherapy so that I could remember and at the time I refused because it seemed too 'woo-woo' and I didn't trust the process?" Liz again agreed with a nod, and nothing else. "Well..." continues Ari, "I think I'm ready now". Liz sits back, raising her eyebrows in shock. 

"Ari, are you sure? What brought on this sudden change?"

"Yes, I'm sure... and, to be honest, the craziest thing just happened to me before coming in today. I can't even believe it myself, and honestly I'm not sure if it actually happened, or if it was a figment of my imagination. Do you think I could be hallucinating?" 

This question took Liz by surprise and instead of answering, she just asked Ari, "What happened? Can you describe your experience? We can walk through what happened and go through the situation as well as the emotions that it triggered within you to see if this is something we should concentrate on, but given your history, it is highly unlikely that you experienced a hallucination. You've never had any indication of having a predisposition to visual hallucinations..."

Ari took a long, deep breath and contemplated coming clean about the voice in their mind; but ultimately decided against it. Ari really didn't want to have to explain having a voice in their head, and really really didn't want to have to take medication to make it go away. So far, the voice in Ari's mind hadn't been a hindrance, but rather a guide of sorts... kind of like if your conscience had an actual voice in your brain; so Ari decided against bringing it up and instead focused on answering Liz's questions. 

"Well, I was on my way in for our appointment, and like always I was looking down, focusing on my steps and went straight to the elevator, chose the floor and tried to close the doors before anyone else could get in and ride along with me... but this today, this woman came rushing in and kept the doors from closing. I ignored her at first and just focused on my breathing like we talked about when my anxiety starts to pick up, but then out of nowhere, she started pelting me with all these questions..."

"What kinds of questions?" Liz asks sincerely, wondering if the line of questioning from this woman is what caused Ari to be so lost in thought when he first arrived. 

"Uh, well, she asked my name, asked if I were Russian, or Persian, or where I came from and I think something else, but I can't quite remember if that's all that she asked me. Then I answered her that I'm neither of those things, I'm not sure about where I was born, but that I've lived in Texas most of my life. A-and, she - she was kind of funny but also intense and kind of draining because it was like it was a game to her... she asked me if I didn't know where I was born, how I knew I wasn't Russian or Persian. I'm assuming she was going off of my looks alone, but I don't think that I look Russian... I could see how she would think I could be Persian, but that doesn't really make a lot of sense, because it's not like there's a high number of Persian immigrants in the area. Or, or is there? I'm going to have to Google it and check. Anyway, I asked her if she was always so curious with strangers and she just looked at me like the cat that ate the canary and said we weren't strangers, then practically ran away from me as soon as the elevator doors opened. And all I could do was stand there and stare, dumbfounded as she hopped, skipped, and jumped away and out of sight... "

As Ari finished recounting the events leading up to them entering her office, Liz slowly but surely leaned all the way forward in her chair again; as if Ari's story slowly drew her physically closer to them. At some point, too, her jaw dropped from the seemingly random and shocking string of events. Realizing her mouth was still wide open, Liz blinked a few times and pressed her lips together while still absorbing what all Ari had said. Shifting back to slightly recline in her chair, Liz scratched her head and asked, "How did that encounter make you feel?" knowing damn well that had everything Ari described happened to her, she would not have been as calm and pensive as they are right now. 

Ari let out an ironic chuckle, "Well, hah, I uh... I do not know, to be honest. I am having a hard time believing that I would have forgotten someone as quirky, perky and strange as her... Those qualities all together are enough to make someone memorable for a normal person, let alone for me; I remember pretty much everyone I have had significant contact with. Also, if she were telling the truth, and we aren't complete strangers, why was she asking me those questions? Would she really just ask me random questions that she should already know the answers to? You know, assuming that we really do know each other?"

"Did you feel any inkling of recognition toward her? Is there anything about her that seemed even a slight bit familiar to you?"

"Not really, doc, I j-, I just... I just can't get her face out of my mind now. The way she looked at me when she just dropped that bomb, and then practically danced away with that grin..." Ari grunted in disapproval and shook their head, trying to rid themselves of that image of Mary practially taunting them. 

"So, is this exchange what has you wanting to explore hypnotherapy when you were so opposed to it previously?" Ari sighed, then nodded without saying a word. Liz furrowed her brow, genuinely concerned and not wanting to step into therapeutic territory Ari may not be ready for. "It sounds like this was a pretty triggering event, and borderline traumatic. I worry that you making a decision based off of this event may not be in your best interest. Decisions revolving around changes in your treatment plan should be made from a calm, clear and collected mindframe; not from a triggering event that could leave you in a fragile emotional state."

"I know, you're right", sighed Ari, "Perhaps we can revisit the idea when I have had more time to process what has happened. It may not even be connected to anything in my childhood. But on the off chance that it is related to the parts of my life that I don't remember, I would still like to revisit a way to try to remember what I can... I honestly do not relish the idea of not ever recovering these memories. To be honest, a lot of times people talk about their favorite memories of growing up and it's really hard not to feel jealous of them... their memories, not them as people" Ari finished, with their mouth twisting, trying not to smile at the last part. 

"Ahaha, well, it's quite alright to want to have memories and not want to have any characteristics of whoever came to mind just then" Liz gave a small giggle again at Ari's sense of humor and thought for a moment. "Maybe we can start with small independent exercises. Are you familiar with free writing, or do you keep a journal of sorts at all?"

Ari frowned and knitted their brows together for a moment. "No, I can't say that I am familiar with that, and I don't currently do any journaling. I don't have a lot of time to sit around writing in a diary, hah" Ari raised their eyebrows and wore a smirk at the thought. 

Liz just rolled her eyes and shook her head while soflty chuckling at Ari's response. "Free writing is an effective tool to help with unlocking subconscious thought, usually this is something that I would recommend to someone that is struggling with a decision to make, or someone who needs to come to a conclusion as to how they feel about a situation or person. However, in your case, it could be beneficial in helping you unlock your repressed memories. It is really rather simple, all you have to do is start with a writing prompt, like 'When I child I...' then just allow yourself to write without thinking or censoring what comes out."

"Sounds easy enough, doc. I just start off with that initial bit, then write whatever comes up... Can I just write it on anything? Is this going to be something I have to bring in to review with you?" Ari grimaced a little at the thought of having to share an uncensored version of anything with anyone. There are some things that Ari absolutely will not do, now that this whole "awakening" thing has occurred. However, they also weren't so sure that it was an awakening, so much as a psychotic break... One day, soon, I'll bring it up with the doc, but today is not that day, Ari thinks to himself, thankful that an immediate quip didn't come up from the voice in their head. 

Noticing the grimce on Ari's face, Liz felt the need to reassure them. "You won't have to share anything you are not comfortable sharing with me. If something comes up in your writing that you would rather keep to yourself, you absolutely do not have to feel obligated to bring it up in therapy. You can keep it to yourself and we will only discuss what comes through in your writing if you feel like you want to". 

Ari couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief to her response. 

"Think of it as a diary as you so eloquently put it earlier" Ari snort laughed in response, with a genuine smile at the thought. "Just remember that it will do you no good if you're planning your response or censoring yourself when you're writing. You have to sincerely allow yourself to freely and even absent mindedly write your response, then when you have finished writing out the response to the prompt, read it back to yourself. You may be surprised with what comes through." 

Ari nods in agreement, then asks, "Where do I get the prompts from? Or how will I know what to write about?"

"If you'd like, I can provide you with a list of prompts that you can use when free writing, that way you'll have a place to start. Then from there, if there is anything that comes through that you would like to talk about, just let me know what the prompt was and what, specifically, you would like to talk about, if you don't want to go over the entire journal entry."

Ari once again nodded, and was thankful for the idea. Then, Ari realized just how thankful they were for Liz herself. She was the only person that they've met, aside from Gus, that wasn't strangely affected by him. She always seemed to be genuine with him, and actually listened rather than her eyes glazing over while staring at them like others have. It was days like this when Ari was truly grateful to have found Liz as a therapist. Well, psychologist... psychiatrist? Something.. she's a doctor and she's helpful, that's all that mattered to Ari, so they left it at that. 

"Well, time's up, Ari" said Liz, pulling Ari from their thoughts. "Same time next week?" Ari smiled and nodded their confirmation. "Thanks doc, I promise to try your diary idea" Ari said with a smirk, leaving Liz to just smile and shake her head at Ari now that their usual confidence filled aura had returned. Ari really was one of her favorite patients. She didn't know why, there was just something about them. Something that kept her wanting to learn more about them, and something that made her happy she was allowed to know a bit about their inner workings. She got the feeling that Ari didn't open up to anyone easily, if at all; and knowing that made her all the more grateful they chose her to help them navigate their emotions. 

With a sigh, Liz rolled her head side to side, feeling her neck crack in either direction when in walked Mary.

"Hey sis! Long time!" Mary said, in her usual bubbly manner, only this time, she had a coy smile on her face that let Liz know she was up to something. 

"Hey  Megaera - what are you doing here? I thought you were going to be reincarnated in Italy?? Aren't you supposed to be reincarnated aleady for the reincarnation of Asmodeus? Why do you still emit your celestial aura??"

"It's Mary now, ugh" she replied, but her annoyance was short-lived. She was too excited, and Liz wasn't about to get under her skin that easily. Mary started giggling and jumping up and down for joy, her chubby cheeks, breasts and belly bouncing and jiggling with her, "Don't you know?? He's already reincarnated... he's here!" then after a dramatic pause, "and he's one of your patients!!" Mary bit her lip while squealing and shaking her fists back and forth in excitement. 

Liz's jaw dropped from the bombshell Mary had just exploded on her... wait... my patient?  she thought to herself. Then she felt her eyes widen and the corners of her mouth tug into a giant open-mouthed grin when the realization hit her. Ari... Ari is Asmodeus reincarnated!! That means Mary was the unexpected whacky crazy lady Ari was talking about... 

"Hey!! That's not very nice!" Mary pouted. Liz only frowned at her sister and retorted, "Serves you right for reading my mind... stay out of my head!" After a few moments, Liz came to another realization. "Wait, if he had been reincarnated to experience life as a human, he should still remember who he is, right?? I mean... he is a prince of the underworld, afterall."

Mary looked at Liz plainly and showed her teeth as she half-grimaced and half-smiled guiltily. "Well... about that... I was upset, you know, that I was going to have to incarnate here to basically be his baby sitter up here since it's been so long since he last incarnated and well... I may have tossed the contracts he left behind in hell fire, hoping that would nullify them. So, hah, he um.. well, he uh - there was no contract there... So, I thought they would dismiss him and tell him they had no contract on file, but instead, his soul had already been wiped before being put in the queue for birth, so there's no way to know if he agreed to not have his memories, knowledge or powers, so now he's walking the earth as a human, heh" she nervously gave a half-hearted try at a laugh. 

Liz just glared at her. She could not believe what she just heard. Could it really be?  Could Asmodeus really be walking the earth as a human, with no clue as to who he truly is or what he came here to do, learn or experience? What are the odds that the universe would align circumstances so that he would end up as a patient of mine? No wonder I was so drawn to him...

"Hahaha, yeah, I know, right??? Crazy" Meg said, dramatically and exaggerating the 'crazy' bit as she let out a nervous laugh. "You're not going to punish me for this.... right? It was an innocent mistake. I couldn't have known he would still reincarnate with no memories or anything. I honestly believed that by burning the contracts he'd not be able to reincarnate."  Meg bit her lip, and took a shaky breath in as she waited for her sister's response. 

Liz rolled her eyes at her sister, and let out an exasperated sigh. "I told you to stay out of my head!" She put up a mental block, then thought about what this could mean, how she'd been unknowingly drawn to him without knowing who he is, and how she'd had an inexplicable urge to help him and guide him. Everything makes so much more sense now. After going over everything in silence for a moment, Liz looked to Mary and said, "No, I'm not going to punish you. You deserve it, but let's just chalk this up as a learning moment. Just, never do that again, or I'll see to it that the same happens to you, and you'll no longer be able to travel between dimensions freely. Understood?" 

Mary finally let out the breath she had been holding and breathed a sigh of relief. "Thanks sis, and sure thing!! I promise I won't meddle in the Infernal Incarnations Affairs Office ever again!" then she disappeared after a winking and blowing a kiss to Liz. 

Liz took a deep breath, Well now... this changes things...

*****