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I sat backwards onto the floor. "What the hell was that? Her scream could rupture someone's eardrums."
"I have no idea." James ran his fingers through his hair as he stood up. "I hate when she calls me a mean daddy. How can she use such a cute phrase to break my heart in two?"
"She doesn't mean it," I said as he helped me to my feet. "We should go calm Sophie down."
A door slamming upstairs made me wince.
"I'll handle Soph," James said. "You can go talk to that little monster upstairs that I don't recognize at all."
I sighed and followed the path of the little girl I didn't recognize either. Scarlett rarely ever screamed. She'd cry when she was upset, but what I just witnessed was more of a wild banshee. What had gotten into her? I ran my hand across my stomach. She didn't mean it, baby boy. She's going to love you.
I made my way upstairs and knocked on her door.
"Go away!"
"Scar, can I please come in?"
"No!"
I opened up the door anyway. Scarlett was lying in the middle of her floor with her face buried in the carpet.
"Hey," I said and slowly sat down cross-legged beside her. "Can you please look at me?" I gently ran my fingers through her curly hair.
"No," she mumbled into the floor.
"Okay." I lay down beside her and just stared at her in silence for a few minutes until she finally turned her head toward me.
"Mommy, it's not fair. The stork is going to take the baby. And then the snake is going to take you. And I'll only have Daddy. And Daddy will be too sad to be a good daddy when you're gone."
For just a second, I was too stunned to say anything. "Scar, what are you talking about? There are no evil snakes, it was just a movie. I'm not going anywhere."
She scrunched her eyes closed. "We need you, Mommy. It's not fair."
"Baby girl, I'm not going anywhere. That movie wasn't real. It's just made up. There are no evil snakes."
"No, Mommy." She scooted forward and wrapped her arms around me. "He was already here."
Her words sent a chill down my spine. What was she talking about? "Scarlett, who's here?"
"The snake! Mommy, I don't even want a baby sister. No one asked me. I never wanted one. I just wanted you." She was crying again. I could feel her tears soaking through my shirt.
"You have me," I said and ran my fingers through her hair again. "I promise I'm not going anywhere." I held her tight as she cried. We really shouldn't have let her watch Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. First the stork story and then the movie that was giving her nightmares. Were we awful parents?
She lifted her tear stained face to mine. "You promise?"
I swallowed hard. "I promise I'm not going anywhere." I didn't want to lie to her. But she believed in Santa Claus. She believed in the Easter Bunny. What would another white lie hurt? The logic was sound, but for some reason I felt an ache in my chest. She might lose me before she finds out that Santa isn't real. That there is no Easter Bunny. Would she resent me forever if I broke that promise? "I promise," I said again. God, I was an awful parent.
She sniffled through her nose. "Am I in trouble?"
"No." I kissed her forehead. "But you need to promise me you won't leave the house without a grown-up. And when you don't get what you want, you need to talk to us instead of screaming at the top of your lungs." I tried to give her a stern look, but it just made her smile.
"I promise."
I found a little solace in the fact that she would most likely not keep either of those promises either. Maybe she did get the lying thing from me. "Now, we're going to go finish catching fake butterflies and then have another slumber party. But this time you'll be having one with Soph and Axel." I sat up and pulled her into my lap.
She scrunched her mouth to the side, like she was thinking. "With my best friends?"
"That's right."
"Axel isn't one of my best friends. My best friends are you, Daddy, and Sophie."
"Scar." I frowned. Where had all this sass come from? "Why would you say that? You and Axel get along so well. Did something happen?"
"No, Mommy, he's my boyfriend. That's different. You can't be best friends with your boyfriend."
Oh my God. I couldn't help but smile. "Actually, you can be. Daddy's my best friend too."
"Really?"
"Mhm."
"What about Aunt Melissa? And Aunt Bee? And Aunt..."
"You can have more than one best friend. You just named a few yourself."
"Okay. Then Axel is my best friend and my boyfriend." She nodded her head like she was completely convinced of Axel's new title.
As we wandered out of her room, her little hand in mine, I really hoped that we could both keep our promises. I wanted her to stay safe. And I wanted to be there to witness it.
Thursday
"James, what are you doing?" I put my hand out to block the lens of the video camera he was holding. I had just collapsed onto the couch after getting the least amount of butterflies in my net. And I was sweaty and gross from the exertion.
James continued filming me.
"Really, James." I held up my other hand, hoping it was enough.
"Scarlett, go tickle Mommy," he said.
I started laughing as soon as Scarlett jumped onto my lap. I laughed even harder when Axel hit me in the back of the head with a pillow and Sophie joined in on the tickling session. "Cut it out, you guys!" I said through fits of giggles. It took me several minutes to get all three kids back on the ground.
James stepped closer to me with the camera. What was he doing? I picked up one of the throw pillows and tossed it at him.
He laughed and caught it in his free hand before joining me on the couch. I grabbed the camera out of his hands and pointed the lens at him. "You thought it would be fun to film me not being able to breathe?" I was staring into the little monitor on the camera. I slowly zoomed up on his face.
"No," he said.
Something about the way he said no made me look back up at him instead of at the screen.
"I just wanted to capture your laughter on film."
The same chill that Scar had given me when she was talking about snakes ran back down my spine. Did everyone think I was doomed? I looked back down at the screen on the video camera. "Why?" I asked. For some reason not staring directly at him made my question easier. I watched his eyebrows lower on the screen. I watched a dark expression cross over his face, one that I had never seen before. Again I felt a chill down my spine.
"Because I wanted to capture my favorite sound. It's the only thing that truly makes me happy," he said slowly.
- Writer
