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I hoped that Bee was right. But I could just imagine Scarlett and Sophie throwing flower petals at each other instead of on the aisle. And after last night, Axel might just run off and try to find his mother instead of safely delivering the rings to the altar. It was good that the kids were coming to the rehearsal tonight. They needed all the practice they could get.
Bee set her empty mug down. "We really should get going. I'm in desperate need of a nap. Thank you for the tea, it actually made me feel a lot better."
"Of course. We'll see you tonight." I gave them each a hug goodbye and continued to sip my tea as James showed them out.
"Do you mind if I grade a few papers before we have to get ready for the rehearsal? I'm a little behind, especially since I'll be jet lagged after my flight tomorrow night."
"Yeah, that's fine. I need to get some work done anyway. What time is your flight?"
"I'm taking the red-eye. That way I won't have to cut out from the wedding early."
"Smart thinking."
He kissed my cheek. "Let me know when you're going to start hogging the bathroom so I can shower real quick beforehand."
I laughed. "You could just shower with me."
"I thought you'd never ask." He winked at me and grabbed a cup of tea before heading toward his study.
Now I definitely had something to look forward to. Just a few hours of work and I could get my favorite reward. I carried my tea to the library, sat down at my desk, and opened up my computer. Now that I had cleared the air with Hails, typing came easily to me. I poured my heart and soul out on the paper. I wiped away tears. I laughed. I immersed myself to the point where someone watching me probably would have thought I was suffering through emotional distress. I swallowed hard as I read the words that had once appeared in a note from James that I had typed up before I started writing the second book of my series. His notes were one of the reasons why fiction blurred with the truth. Because I couldn't change the words in his notes. They were perfect just the way they were.
"Only with you am I strong. Only with you am I good. Only with you am I whole."
I wiped away the tears on my cheeks. That's not true. He was strong. And good. And whole. He was all of those things without me. For some reason I couldn't move past those words. My two hours of productive writing had come to a grinding halt.
I put my hand on my chest. What if something did happen to me? How could I leave like this? With him thinking that was true. I pulled up a blank Word document and stared at the blinking cursor. James had a will. It was irresponsible for me not to. I'd feel better if I had one too. Not necessarily for leaving monetary things to people. I just needed James to remember my words. I needed to leave him with something. My eyes continued to focus on the blinking cursor. Scarlett's weird snake fears had gotten into my head. James' capturing my laughter had too. I needed to do this.
But for some reason my mind only got as far as writing "James" before shutting down. I said I didn't want any bad vibes. Making a will was the worst possible vibe. I closed my laptop and slowly stood up. We don't need a will, do we baby boy? I thought to myself as I wandered out of the library. Besides, what was the point of focusing on something terrible happening when my husband was waiting for me naked in the shower?
Friday
"I don't remember it being this hot when I was getting married," I said and sat down next to Matt. Apparently the matron of honor and best man had everything perfect and were allowed to take a break. I knew that was code for Bee being scared I was going to die the night before their wedding.
"June isn't quite as bad as August," Matt said. "And you weren't this high up. Maybe that has something to do with it."
"That could be." I looked out at the expansive view of New York City. The ceremony was taking place at the top of a high rise. And not just any high rise. Mason and Bee owned the building and their successful Marketing firm, Bee Inspired Media Group, was located on the top floor. The ceremony was going to be beautiful. Just the view made it breathtaking and they hadn't even started decorating yet. The rehearsal dinner was being held in their office, which I totally understood. After all, Mason had named his firm after Bee in a grand gesture to win her back. It was so romantic.
"I almost made a point of saying you weren't pregnant during your wedding, but technically you were," Matt said, drawing me back to the present.
I laughed.
"But not nearly as pregnant. You couldn't tell or anything. Not that you can really tell now. I didn't mean..."
"It's fine," I said. "I know I'm huge." I put my hand on my stomach. "And uncomfortable. God, I swear I was this big at nine months for Scarlett."
"No, you were definitely bigger."
I laughed again. "Bigger? It's not possible."
"You still look good, though. You're always beautiful. And you make adorable babies." He nodded at Scarlett who had just decided to sit down in the middle of the aisle.
"Thanks, Matt." I watched as everyone else practiced standing there, waiting for Bee. "When do you think you'll settle down?"
"Me?" He whistled and put his arm on the back of the empty chair beside him. "I'm too young to get married. My big brother is only just tying the knot now. Give me some time, woman."
I shook my head. "I just think you're going to make a really good father."
"Just because I'm good at hanging out with your kid on occasion doesn't mean I'll be a good dad. But I do have the uncle thing down pretty well, don't I?" He flashed me a smile.
"Absolutely."
"Did you want me to go tell her to finish walking down the aisle?"
"You can certainly try."
He laughed and got up to join Scarlett. He leaned down and whispered something in her ear. Whatever he said to her seemed to work. She put her hand in his and let him walk her down the aisle. I looked at James standing on the right side of the altar. He was staring at our daughter with a smile on his face. That small action calmed me. See, he's whole because of Scarlett too. I looked down at my stomach. I wasn't really saying it to the baby. Maybe I was insane. Talking to oneself counted as insanity, right? Damn it, stop talking to yourself!
- Writer
