Pregnant For The Ceo

Guilt

Kathlyn went up to her room and straight into the bathroom leaving Kathlyn downstairs. She shut the door behind her, turned the shower on and let the water pelt on her body with her clothes on. She stared blindly at the tiled walls as the water hit her body as slowly, the tears began to roll out.

For the words she spoke to Adam which made him settle for alcohol, for asking him to leave the previous night, for the hurt she caused him and the many hurtful words she said to him, she wailed. Her voice reverberated in the bathroom as she wailed, letting out all the sobs she choked back earlier. She felt lost, incomplete, broken and confused. For every emotion she felt, she wept.

She slowly fell to the floor and held her knees to her chest as the water continued to pour. The thought that Adam would not be in this condition if not for her haunted her thoughts and broke her heart. It made her speechless. His only offense had been professing his love for her. Why did she have to go ruin everything like she always did? Why did she attract bad luck wherever she went?

A slight shiver spread through her body followed by a sneeze then another. She looked up at the dropping water, squinted her eyes in annoyance and chewed on her bottom lip. Knowing she would get sick if she did not turn off the water, she reluctantly rose up and turned the faucet off. She got out of her clothes and walked into her room.

She dried herself up before going to the mirror to take in her image. She looked ghostly – a total contrast to how she used to look. She looked like someone who bore a full bag of guilt on their heads. Maybe because she did? Her eyes drooped, an obvious evidence that she had been crying. Her cheeks had sunken deep and her clavicle was on full display.

Exhausted, she let out a soft sigh before walking over to her wardrobe in search of something to wear. She settled for a T-shirt before climbing into bed. The events from the previous night till this morning replayed in her head, making her hiss lightly. Her hand instinctively went to her stomach and she rubbed it gently.

Sometimes, it was hard to believe she was with child. Asides her frequent vomiting which had ceased and the dizziness she used to feel, there was no other evidence that she was pregnant. She felt nothing. Yet, when she rubbed her belly, she could feel the life growing inside of her. She felt connected to the child she had not yet seen. Perhaps that’s what motherhood was like.

The thought of motherhood drew her mind back to Adam’s mother. She was a funny and welcoming woman but Kathlyn had not been in the mood for jokes. She still trembled when she remembered the sudden way they barge into the hospital room and stared at her. She had wanted to spend more time with Adam, try to exonerate herself a bit, at least? Sadly, that did not happen.

She picked up her phone from her bedside table and stared blankly at the screen. It was past nine in the morning. The doctor had said he would administer some more sedatives to Adam. If he had done that, Adam would be sleeping right now. The realization calmed her anxiety a bit. If he was sleeping, he won’t feel so much pain then.

There was a loud knock on her door before it was pushed open. Startled, she jumped from the bed and scuttled to the wall. Her heart which almost flew out of her chest in trepidation calmed when she saw Jasmine. Her fear was slowly replaced with anger as she watched her.

“Why the hell did you do that?” She hissed rubbing her forehead.

“I brought you food” Jas said lifting the tray up for her to see.

“Don’t scare me like that next time.” She walked back to her bed and settled in it. The smell of pancakes wafted into her nostrils causing her belly to roar. “I’m famished” She explained.

“Good because I made them for you. Have some” Jasmine said offering her pancakes coated in syrup. She was not sure if Kathlyn would like it but she chose to make it. Luckily, Kathlyn moaned when the flavors burst in her mouth.

“This is mouth watering” She admitted with her mouth full. Pushing the rest of the pancakes into her mouth, she made to reach for another one when Jasmine swatted her hand away. “You said it was mine” She whined.

“I did but I didn’t ask you to eat inappropriately. Have some juice” Jas said offering her a glass of juice. Kathlyn looked at her gratefully and accepted the drink. She downed the content and continued eating her food.

She had not been paying attention but she was famished. Extremely famished. The thought surprised her because she was not always this hungry. Now, she was hungry almost every hour. Could it be the baby? She finished up the food, rubbed her belly in satisfaction before finishing the juice.

“God! This was delicious.”

“I didn’t know if you would like it.”

“I didn’t like it. I love it. Is there more?”

“Kathlyn!” Jas yelled out in surprise.

“Chill” She said laughing. “I was pulling your leg. I’m full.” Jasmine glared at her then, shook her head.

“Kathlyn, have you told Tony about the baby?” Jas asked deflating the mood. Kathlyn rubbed her head and bit her bottom lip.

With everything that was going on with Adam, she totally forgot about her relationship with Tony. Suddenly, she remembered that he called her the previous night and she promised to see him today.

“Oh, no” She breathed face palming herself. “I am supposed to meet with him today.”

“You should. And while at it, tell him how you feel for Adam. You can say that before breaking the news of your pregnancy to him” Jas suggested.

“Do you think he’ll take that well? He almost hit me the last time when I insisted on him telling me something” She said with a shudder.

“He won’t. If he does, we’ll call the authorities. He deserves to know, Kathlyn. If you wish to end the relationship, you should let him know.” She nodded at Jasmine’s suggestion after realizing she was right. She had to let Tony know the truth. It would do them no good if she continued hiding things from him.

Exhaling and running her hand through her hair, she thought of how to break the news to him. He sounded devastated the previous night and she did not want to add to his devastation.

“And Adam?” Jasmine questioned cutting the train of her thoughts short. Kathlyn’s brows furrowed and she gave Jasmine a quizzical look. “What are your plans for him?”

“Jas…”

“No, Kathlyn. You need to face this. You cannot continue running. Heck! You almost lost your goddamned mind when you discovered he was in an accident. What other evidence do you need before you realize that you are madly in love with Adam? Why do you choose to suffer?” Jasmine raved on in frustration.

Too stunned to speak, Kathlyn simply swallowed and bit down on her bottom lip hard enough to draw blood. Her head spun from different thoughts. She tried to get a grip on her emotions and thoughts but they were a mess. Was she really depriving herself of happiness? It was true she loves Adam but would…

“Gosh! Just stop thinking too much, Kathlyn. Give Tony a call right away” Jas commanded. She made to protest but Jas moved her fingers in a zip motion then glared at Kathlyn.

Knowing it would be a lost battle if she decided to push further, she resigned and picked her phone. She stared at it for a while then selected Tony’s number and dialed it. She listened to the dial tone, silently wishing for it to not connect. She was not prepared to talk to him. Thankfully, he did not pick. She tried again but this time, he picked the phone. She took in a huge breath of air, wetted her bottom lip and pinched the bridge of her nose.

“Hey, Tony. How are you doing today?” She asked in a fake, excited voice which was easily detected as fake due to how high pitched it was. Jas shook her head in embarrassment.

“Kathlyn… Look, I’m terribly sorry for last night. I had no idea what came over me” He spoke. His voice sounded strained, like he was tired. Kathlyn felt a pang of guilt which she had been trying to suppress spring up. A knot formed in her throat and she had no idea when she asked, “are you home?”

“I am.”

“Great. I’ll be there in a bit” She declared standing up and walking to her wardrobe. Before Tony could protest, she hung up the phone and continued searching through her wardrobe.