FINDERS KEEPERS

17

Ora

SEVENTEEN

When I got home the next morning it was eerily quiet, like no one was home. I have an afternoon shift so I came home to rest a little and bath before I go anywhere. No offence but I missed my bed, I found myself tossing and turning the whole night, not because of Palesa’ bed, but because I’m not used to sleeping in anyone’ bed besides mine. I go to my room and take a long relaxing bath, bubble bath and a glass of wine with chocolate, when I feel the water getting cold, I step out and wrap a towel around my body.

I stand in front of the mirror and look at myself, why must my life be this hard? Why can’t I do a simple thing as conceive? Obviously the doctors find nothing wrong with me, so where could the problem be? Plus, the sudden inquisitiveness about Kagiso, I hope to God it’s not what I think it is, I take the bottle of wine and drink straight from it, glass for who? With a last glance at myself on the mirror and a sigh I turn and go grab a gown from my closet and sleepers and go prepare food, cavin is a year and five months old now, so sometimes he eats what we eat, so I prepare rice and lamb curry, I take his out before adding the hot chili, Kagiso loves chili so his food always has it, although sometimes I don’t add it, there are some times when it’s just necessary.

After im done preparing the food, I make some lemonade and put the jar in the fridge, I take one last look at the meal I prepared and dish my lunch box before heading upstairs to prepare for work. I look at myself in the mirror before walking out and I’m not impressed with myself at all. I feel tears pricking in my eyes, will I ever have it right in life? Will I ever be happy? I sigh and leave the room and not look back, my mood is really gloomy so im in ugg boots and tracksuits. I take the house and car keys, it’s one of kagisos’ car so it’s one of the luxury.

The rest of my day is uneventful and I think my dull mood rubbed off everyone, the whole stuff was gloomy and down, even the manager. Palesa had the morning shift so she went home when I got in, she’s a part-time student at UNISA and lives with her aunt and some of her cousins, they don’t have much but at least they have something, her boyfriend is a doctor, Kwanele as much as she loves him, she’s just scared of going all the far with him, but then I also have my problems to deal with so I will just let her handle her own s**t.

KAGISO

I stay in my chair in my office turned looking outside the city looking at the night creep in, when I woke up this morning, I had my mind set, I will not allow my son to be raised in such a situation so I took my sun and drove all the way to E-Nkangala and dropped him off to my parents’ house, I only just go back now because mom wouldn’t let me go immediately, she always wants to feed me, katlego is getting married month end and I foresee trouble. As much as I don’t touch base with my family, I’m always up to date with everything that happens in there.

It’s only after midnight when I get home, I head straight to my room and im greeted by the quit and coldness of it, I head straight to the shower and open the hot water, my life is a fucken mess, I get out and wear my pajama pants and go to the fridge and take out a cold beer, after the third bottle I go upstairs and open the bedroom door. I find her lying on her stomach with just a shirt and pajama bottoms, I have been jerking myself off to thoughts of her, I can’t anymore, so I walk all the way to the bed and get inside the covers with her. I remember the first time I jerked off to her, I envisioned her on her knees giving me head.

I really don’t know what happened that day, but I just left my office and went to the apartment, my initial plan was to shower but then I thought of her and well, you know what else happened after. She once offered herself to me before but she was vulnerable and I couldn’t take her like that, I am a man and I obviously think with the head between my legs but I couldn’t do that to her then, but then this is now and she’s next to me and I don’t think I will have that much restrain anymore, I shift so that im next to her but the moment my head hits the pillow im gone, lights out.

ORATILWE

I wake up to find myself tangled up with me, I should be scared and throw a tantrum but instead I find myself snuggling in further, I release a content sigh and immediately I feel myself, like this is exactly what I wanted to feel better, I turn and find him awake looking up.

“are you okay?” he sighs and then nods. He removes his hand underneath my head and attempts to stand up.

“don’t go” I utter, he stops and sighs again, “I can’t, I don’t have too much restrain” it took me only two seconds to know what he referred to.

“I’m ovulating” he looked at me, shook his head and walked out. What the hell is wrong with me? Did I just throw myself at him, AGAIN? And he rejected me, AGAIN. I must really be stupid to do such a thing. “arg” I throw a cover myself with a pillow and scream, I feel like crying. He probably things I’m a lose girl. What the hell is wrong with me?

I’m off today so I need some retail therapy, I go to the bathroom and take a bath, after I’m done, I take out my blue jean and pink sweatshirt and nick kicks, I find kagiso in sweatpants and topless in the kitchen laying out breakfast. As mouth-watering as it is, I’m too embarrassed to sit across from him and pretend like all is normal when in actual fact it’s not so I told him I’m good and went outside and started the car and went to the salon, I already had an appointment so I just went in and I got attended to immediately, there was a time I couldn’t afford such luxuries, when getting just my nails done was a struggle but because now my job is paying me quite well I can afford a glass of wine in a restaurant without actually hurting my pockets.

I decide to get nude nails and a twenty-two-inch brown weave, I do my eyebrows and then go for a spar, I need to relax myself so im dedicating this day to me only, and also some shopping here and there, mostly bought dresses, heels and bags. I need to look my best at all times.

Finally, I decide to go home, I know Kagiso will be at work so I order pizza and head straight home. Immediately I open the door and im met my roses and candles, what the hell? Kagiso appears from the kitchen with a bottle of wine and pause when he sees’ me.

“you came earlier than I expected” I stand shocked rotted to my spot. He comes over and takes the pizza from my hands and puts it in the kitchen. When he comes back he finds me still standing there with my mouth wide open. He smiles and takes my hand. “what’s going on?” I finally find my voice, he gives me his signature smile and grabs the back of my waist and holds the other hand in a position that allows us to sing, he dips his head down and whispers to my ear “happy birthday” immediately I feel butterflies cocooning in my stomach, how did I forget my own birthday? How is that possible. I feel tears blur my vision before he wipes them off and places his lips on mine, the action caught me off guard but I accepted it nonetheless. Another set of tears flow the same time he starts to move his lips, he pulls me further into him and opens my mouth with his tongue. Just when I start to get my game on he pulls away and rests his forehead against mine, with his hands cupping my cheeks.

“come let’s eat” he takes my hand and leads me to the indoor picnic he set up, it’s not your typical red and whatever romantic set up, he has turquoise blue and baby pink colors all over. He really set everything up, from the matt to the balloons, the balloons are floating in the air, he has a turquoise couching for him and a pink one for me, with a cake and set of fresh lilies and a two bottles of champagne, the food, ooh! He prepared a Ravioli salad, crab cakes and a beef a la Sichuan. Im impressed.

He sits me down and plates for us, he pours wife and we make a toast, before I can take a sip my drink, he steals a kiss and pretends like he did not, I bit the bottom of my lips because I can still feel the taste of his mouth on mine, we continue eating with his eyes on me the whole time,

“about this morning” he stops and looks at me, “I didn’t mean to throw myself at you, it’s just that” he stops me before I can finish. “like I said, I don’t have too much restrain, I want to f**k you so bad, it hurts” I stop eating and look at him, little lady down there doing the Vosho.

“then why didn’t you?” he stops eating and looks at me, since he had his fork hallway to his mouth, he puts it back in his plate and changes his position, “I want to earn” he simply says. What does that even mean? Instead of letting it slide, I question him further.

“what do you mean by that?”

“it means, you have to officially be mine before I can have s*x with you?” with every word he says, he confuses me even more.

“I’m still confused” he stops eating completely and focuses on me, as if reading me or something before he speaks up.

“I mean” he clears his throat “are you willing to make more out of this marriage, like be married, married? No more contractual marriage?”

I feel like my inside are coming out of my mouth, I can’t believe this. “are you willing to?”

“I’m open to the possibility” now im speechless. “okay”

“okay what?” he asks.

“I’m open to the possibilities too” he shakes his head.

“no you not” the he goes back to his food. A minute pass with me staring at him, how does he know that?

“you sound so sure” I discard my plate aside and folds my arms.

“I just know”

“so o nna wena, weitse ntwengwe le engwe e ke naganang?”

“why are you getting so worked up” no s**t.

“because…arg, never mind” I stand up to walk away but I stop and take the bottle of wine and head upstairs to my room but not before I hear him laugh. He thinks this is funny, mxm.