Seth
It’s been around three or four hours since I had that conversation with Adrien while he was chained to my bed. Willingly.
As I drive on the small road in the darkness, I am still distraught about it, feeling stupid for telling him something I didn’t need to tell him, something I haven’t told anyone for twenty years.
And now that I did, I feel raw, exposed. I know it is stupid. It all happened so long ago. I was a different person then, smaller and scared. Just as dumb but that’s another thing. Yet, as I spoke tonight, as I had to live through Adrien’s gaze full of pity and shock, I felt like nothing has changed since that day. Like I have shoved it all down so deep inside my soul without letting it out for over a second that now after I opened the damn pot of s*hit, it feels like
