Chapter 4 - The Choice He Made
1747 Words
Roman walked through the forest with Vance and Cameron behind him, the silence between them broken only by the crunch of leaves beneath their boots.
He had expected the walk back to the pack to feel different.
Lighter, perhaps.
For months, Raven had been a constant source of frustration, challenging him whenever she disagreed with a decision and refusing to accept that his word carried more weight than hers. He had tried to make her understand what being his mate would mean once she became his Luna, but Raven had never been willing to bend. She had argued with him in front of the council, questioned his orders in front of warriors, and continued training as though proving herself had become a personal challenge.
He had tolerated it because she was his mate.
He had told himself that eventually she would grow into the position.
Instead, she had only become more confident in her belief that she belonged beside him rather than beneath his authority.
That could never work.
An Alpha couldn't have a Luna who looked at every decision and wondered whether she could make a better one. He had seen the way the warriors responded to Raven when she trained with them, and he knew how quickly loyalty could shift when someone was strong enough to command respect.
He wasn't going to wait until she became a problem he could no longer control.
He had taken care of it.
So why did he feel as though something was still unfinished?
Roman's pace slowed before he realized it. He glanced over his shoulder at the dark trees behind him, and for a moment his eyes searched the distance as though he might somehow see the clearing through the forest.
His wolf stirred.
The sensation was strange enough to make him stop.
Go back.
Roman frowned.
The thought had come so clearly that he almost turned around.
He stared into the darkness, his mind immediately supplying the image of Raven on the ground, blood running down her face and her body barely able to move after the poison had taken hold.
He had watched her fight anyway.
That had been Raven's problem from the beginning. She never knew when to stop.
Even when she had been barely standing, she had still attacked them. Even after Cameron and Vance had tried to bring her down, she had kept fighting. If anything, that only proved that Roman had been right to consider her dangerous.
He had needed to weaken her before bringing her into the woods.
He had needed Vance and Cameron there because he knew she would fight.
And he had needed to make certain she could never return to the pack and tell anyone what had happened.
There had been no room for hesitation.
“Alpha?”
Vance's voice brought him back.
Roman looked at him.
“You stopped.”
“I know.”
Vance studied his face. “Do you want to go back?”
The question irritated him more than it should have.
Roman's expression hardened.
“No.”
He turned away from the forest.
“Keep moving.”
Vance obeyed without another word.
Roman continued toward the pack, but his wolf remained restless beneath his skin.
It made no sense.
Raven was dead. He knew that. He had seen the state she was in when they left her, and there was no healer in the territory who could have reached her in time, even if someone had known where she was.
His wolf should have been at peace.
Instead, it kept pushing against him, urging him toward the trees.
Roman clenched his jaw.
He had no patience for this.
He had spent months making a decision that had needed to be made, and he wasn't going to let some irrational instinct make him question it now.
Raven had been given every chance to accept the life he had expected from her.
She had refused.
She had never understood that being his mate did not make her his equal. He was the Alpha, and the pack needed one person making the final decisions. If Raven couldn't accept that, then she had left him with very few choices.
He could have rejected her and allowed her to remain in the territory, but he knew Raven. She would have challenged him. She would have continued training, continued speaking her mind, and eventually gathered enough support around herself that the pack would begin looking to her whenever they disagreed with him.
Roman couldn't allow that.
He had spent years earning his position.
He wasn't going to risk it because his mate had too much pride to know her place.
“She deserved it,” he said under his breath.
Cameron glanced at him but wisely said nothing.
Roman kept walking.
He didn't care whether either man approved of what had happened. They had both been there. They had both seen what Raven was capable of, and neither had been able to stop her until the poison had finally taken its full effect.
That alone should have been enough to prove his point.
By the time they reached the edge of the pack territory, the lights of the packhouse were visible through the trees.
Roman's shoulders eased slightly at the sight of home, although the relief he expected still didn't come.
He hated that.
He wanted to walk through those gates knowing the problem was over. Instead, his mind kept dragging him back to the forest, back to Raven's face, back to the moment she had looked directly into his eyes after he scarred her.
You're going to regret that.
The memory irritated him.
He had no reason to regret it.
The scar had been necessary. Raven needed to understand that he would not tolerate her defiance, and if she had survived somehow, the mark would serve as a reminder of what happened when she crossed him.
Roman pushed the thought away as he entered the pack grounds.
A few warriors greeted him as he passed.
“Alpha.”
He acknowledged them without stopping.
Everything looked exactly as it had when he left.
The training grounds were empty.
His gaze lingered there for a moment before he forced himself to look away.
Raven had spent countless hours there, usually staying long after everyone else had gone. She had never been satisfied with being good enough, and Roman had often wondered why she felt the need to prove herself when she already had his position waiting for her.
Now the grounds were quiet.
They would stay that way.
The thought should have pleased him.
Instead, his irritation returned.
Roman entered the packhouse and headed toward his office. As he walked down the hallway, he caught the faint scent of Raven lingering in the air.
He stopped.
His eyes narrowed.
It was nothing. She had lived in this pack for years. Of course her scent would still be here.
He had no reason to react to it.
He continued toward his office and closed the door behind him.
His gaze moved over the room before settling on the chair across from his desk.
He had spent enough time with Raven there to know exactly how irritating she could be when she decided she wanted his attention while he was working.
He didn't let himself dwell on it.
Instead, he focused on what mattered.
He had never marked her.
That had been deliberate.
The mate bond had been enough to bind them together, but he had refused to take the next step because he knew what it would mean. Once he marked Raven, she would become his Luna in the eyes of the entire pack, and there would be no question that she stood beside him permanently.
He hadn't wanted that.
He had never wanted a Luna who believed she could challenge him simply because she was his mate.
He had wanted someone who understood the difference between being beside an Alpha and being the Alpha.
Raven had never understood it.
So he had kept the mark from her.
He had always told himself there would be time to decide what to do with their bond once she learned to accept his authority.
Tonight had settled the matter.
There would be no mark.
There would be no Luna.
There would be no Raven waiting for him to change his mind.
Roman turned toward the window.
The forest lay beyond the pack, dark and silent beneath the night sky.
His wolf stirred again.
This time, the feeling was so strong that Roman's fingers tightened around the edge of the desk.
Go back.
His temper flared.
“For what?”
The question left his mouth before he could stop himself.
There was no answer, only that same persistent pull.
Roman stared into the darkness.
He could go back.
He could check.
He could make certain she was dead.
The thought should have been simple.
Instead, something inside him resisted it.
That angered him.
He had never liked uncertainty, and he hated even more that Raven was somehow responsible for it.
“She would have come for me,” he said, more firmly now.
He was explaining it to himself, and he knew it.
“If she had survived, she would have returned to the pack. She would have told everyone what happened. She would have turned the warriors against me.”
His grip tightened.
“She would have challenged me until one of us was forced to leave.”
That was the future he had prevented.
He had done what he needed to do.
Roman straightened.
“She deserved it.”
The words were colder now, sharpened by the anger building inside him.
He hated that even after everything, Raven was still making him question himself.
She had always done that.
She challenged him.
She pushed him.
She refused to accept the limits he placed around her.
Even now, lying somewhere in the forest, she was somehow still taking up space in his mind.
Roman turned away from the window.
He would not go back.
He would not check on her.
He would not allow himself to wonder whether she had somehow survived.
He had made his decision, and Raven had brought the consequences upon herself by refusing to accept what was expected of her.
If she was dead, then the problem was finally over.
And if his wolf didn't like it, then his wolf would simply have to learn who was in control.
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