The Other Dress

Chapter 2

2

Elliot

Cosplay = Costume play = Dressing up as a character from an anime, manga, film or even a band. Cosplayers, people who cosplay, often try to get as close to the original character’s looks as they can, but will also play the personality, accents and things like that to get the whole package. Many of the costumes take months or even longer than that to make, as trying to find the right materials to recreate an outfit or weapon can be a real adventure. But that is what I enjoy about doing it most, the adventure, the challenge.

Now

I never really thought much about how people look at girls who cosplay as female characters. To be fair, I’ve had my share of times that I stared at a girl in a sexy outfit as she passed me by, but that was always because, you know, that was what I thought was normal. I enjoy looking at girls who dress nicely because I enjoy looking at girls, in my mind, it was that simple.

I also know how some people look at guys who cosplay as female characters, especially the ones who play a very over-the-top kind of female character and how they combine their masculinity with the female character’s outfit and personality.

But for me, neither of these things were things that I would think about very much. Usually… That was, until I found myself cosplaying a female character at an anime convention and had to consider both of these views at the same time.

The thing is, I’m not broad, I’m not bulky, I’m not even very tall. So, while I can easily cosplay the lankier male characters from most anime, the really masculine characters were never something that I thought I could pull off. But on the other side of things, there’s been something I’ve been hoping to cosplay as one day, even though I’d never shared that idea with anyone until a few months back.

I’ve always wanted to cosplay a female character, a magical girl character specifically. There’s just something about them, their strength and their cheeriness, that has always attracted me to them. Well, that and the dresses... I don’t know. Cosplaying a magical girl character has always been one of those things I wished I could do, that I wished I could pull off and that I wished I had the courage for. Only, I’ve always been too scared, too anxious, too nervous, never daring to really step out of my comfort zone.

But not this year, this year I’m going to crossplay Aoi from the Magical Princess Club! Anime, and it’s made me really, really nervous.

Most anime and gaming conventions I tend to go with a group of friends, but this year they’re too busy working during summer break to come along. They’re trying to save up money for a gaming convention later this year, so they don’t want to spend it all on this convention first. Well, most of them anyway, one of my friends is still here with me, Mya. Though, I’m pretty sure that she wouldn’t skip any anime or gaming convention that she could attend, within reason, because she loves them.

Even though it’s going to be just the two of us, I appreciate that I won’t be on my own this weekend, that I won’t be on my own when I’m going out in public in a dress for the first time. Not that she’ll be at my side the whole time, she’ll probably be off doing her own thing this weekend most of the time anyway, but it’s nice to have her here.

Mya is not as much into cosplaying as the rest of us are, she’s here for the swag, the collectables and the fan-items. The most she’s ever done for cosplaying is putting on a pair of dark jeans, a white t-shirt, some smudged eyeliner and putting her hair up so that it looks all short and fuzzy. I don’t really think that can even be considered ‘cosplay’ to be honest. But I don’t mind that she’s not into it so much, it means that when we travel together, she can drag some of my props and bags for me, since she won’t have as many. I’ve gotta make use of our situation somehow, right? It’s not like she doesn’t do the same thing with me either, especially when we go to game releases, and she makes me stand in line, keeping her spot, as she walks off to talk to people she knows. What else are friends for?

Of course, when I’m nervous, I start thinking in weird ways and rambling inside my head. This AmAnime is even worse than usual because I’m doing something scary, for me anyway, I’m stepping outside of my comfort zone big time. Luckily, most people here don’t really know me or recognise me that well, so I don’t feel as scared of their judgements as I would of my friends. And Mya already knows about all of it, so it’s not really a surprise to her.

This year is the first year I’m not just cosplaying, I’m crossplaying all weekend, and even my non-cosplay outfits for this weekend are a bit more on the feminine side.

What most of my friends I normally attend cons with don’t know is that I regularly crossdress. I wear women’s clothes, dresses, skirts, frilly shirts, things like that. I also finish the look off with a long-haired wig, since my hair is way too short to do anything interesting with. Mya has helped me out a lot with clothes and makeup in the last months, and she’s been great about it all. It’s always nice to have someone at your side who at least understands you somewhat. Or, well, someone who doesn’t mind answering silly questions, mostly.

I take a deep breath as I walk into the large hall of the convention building, a little nervous as I keep glancing around me. Today, I’m wearing a black unisex cotton skirt with chains running across it and a fishnet shirt. It’s not exactly crossdressing, but it’s still on the more androgynous side of things. My other option for his outfit was a tight black shirt with floral lace patterns, but I’m not brave enough to put that on today, not for the opening show of the event. I may feel braver later in the evening, but for right now, I’m not doing it, going like this took me long enough. I just spent twenty minutes in front of a mirror doing my makeup while Mya was on the bed reading a manga. It took her not even two minutes to put on some eyeliner and be done with it.

“Elliot!” Mya waves, motioning for me to come over.

“You were suddenly gone.” I glare at her. We stepped out of the elevators and she’d suddenly disappeared from my side.

“Yeah, sorry. Saw someone. Don’t worry, I’m not running off. You want to wait here until the opening show or go outside for a moment?” Mya keeps moving, all energetic.

“Let’s go outside.” It’s seriously hot this weekend, and I’m not so sure anymore if the cosplays I’ve got planned for the event will be a good idea. They may be too hot and stuffy. Though, once you’re through the front hall into the main part, those are usually pretty okay in temperature. But right now, it may be a little less overly hot outside.

We walk to the front doors, showing our festival bracelets to the guy at the doors as we step outside. Outside it’s just as hot as inside, but at least there is a little breeze here.

We go over to some picnic tables at the side of the building and sit down. Mya immediately pulls out her phone, scrolling through something and then shows me the screen.

“We really need to find this stand tomorrow.” She grins. Mya is showing me a picture of a stand with what appears to be fan art of some popular manga and anime, including some fan-made mangas. “Their description lists it as having some Destruction of Elysium anime fan art, which, you know, I always need more of.”

“Really?” I take her phone, trying to find something in the picture that could tell me more, but it’s too small, and there is too much going on. “Do you think they’ll have some Deimos and Athena art? That would be awesome.” Destruction of Elysium started out as a video game but they also made some anime seasons because of how popular it was. This season, they’re not running a new season of the anime but the last one was last winter. There is some really interesting fan art of two of the main characters going around, which I would love to get my hands on. I cosplayed Deimos, one of the main characters in the anime, last year at this convention. “Maybe I should have gone as Deimos this year too... They could have given me a discount at the stand, maybe.” I grin.

Mya smiles, shaking her head. “I don’t know. I don’t think that they would really do things like that though... Plus, hey, you finally get to cosplay the character of your dreams, a magical girl.”

I nod, though my smile falters a little. “Still, I wish you’d also cosplayed as someone from the anime, even just a side character. I’ll feel so obvious when I’m playing Aoi on my own tomorrow.”

Mya keeps smiling. “I know that you’ll be fine. There’s nothing to worry about. The cosplay looks great, and I’ll already be carrying your things, remember?” She grins now. “I won’t be your distraction but I’ll be your mule all weekend. Seems like a fair tradeoff, right?”

I reach out to her, and she takes my hand, squeezing it a little.

“You know that I’m right.” Mya winks.

“Yeah, I know.” I sigh. “Just nerves.”

“I know.” Her gaze softens. “They’ll be gone tomorrow. Like always, you’ll get into character, and all the nerves will be gone like they were never there, that always happens with you.”

“Yeah.” I squeeze her hand too. They may be gone tomorrow, but they aren’t yet today.

From behind us, someone raises their voice. “The opening ceremony is about to start. Anyone who wants to watch, you better get inside.”

I grin, standing up. AmAnime always has really cool opening ceremonies, with acts and cosplayers and some actors and things like that on stage, introducing the panels and the signings and everything. It’s an experience.

I take a deep breath as I tug Mya along with me. Time to start the weekend!

* * *

I check myself in the mirror again. This morning I woke up and I immediately knew that something was wrong... I don’t know what it was, but it seems I had a reaction to some makeup or cleaner or whatever and now I have a patch of red skin on my jaw. Not fun. I was able to hide it with make-up, but it’s not perfect. I’m just hoping it doesn’t get too much worse. You can’t really see anything right now, it’s just itchy, but that doesn’t mean that it won’t be visible again in another hour or two, I’ll have to keep an eye on it.

“Elliot.” Mya sighs, standing in the doorway. “You can’t cover it more than you already have, unless you pull a bag over your head, but that would ruin your hair.”

I glare her way. There is no way I’m letting anything near my hair, the twin ponytails with ribbons were hard enough to put in the first time, I’m not redoing them.

“Well then.” She shrugs. “It’s covered up. I’ll tell you if something starts sneaking out again or something.” She’s just a little too relaxed for my taste.

“Yeah, yeah...” I take a deep breath. “Can I just be nervous for a bit?” I fluff at the hem of the dress, making the ruffles more even, trying to not think about leaving the room just yet.

“You’ve been nervous all morning, and last night, and the whole of last week.” Mya rolls her eyes. “I kind of want to get to one or two stands before they run out of prints, you know?”

“I know, I know.” I push away from the sink. “I guess it’s time to get moving then.”

“Yay.” Mya grins. “Finally.” She almost jumps up and down, but then glances my way.

“Hey.” I glare her way again, but can’t help my own smile. She’s right. I’ve been trying to hide in here long enough.

I leave the bathroom and give Mya my wallet before I slide my phone into the top of my dress. If you don’t have anything to fill the top of a dress with yourself, it makes an excellent spot for phone storage. Although, I know that some people who do have enough to fill the bodice of a dress do it too, but you know, still handy.

“You’ll be fine, you know that.” Mya puts her hand on my arm. “You look great. The cosplay is spot on. Not many people are going to take a second look at you being you, they’re going to see Aoi.”

“I just.” I sigh. “I don’t want to look strange. I don’t want people to like... stare at me and stuff.”

“Everyone is going to stare, but that’s because your cosplays are always so good. You know that. This time the only difference is that you feel different about being dressed like this. You felt like that when you started crossdressing too, remember? And now you’re actually crossplaying one of your favourite characters of all time at an event that you know is going to be a safe place to do so. I’m pretty sure that’s brave and cool, no matter how you look at it.” She smiles. Mya is always my biggest supporter, even when I don’t always deserve it. Like when I complain way too much to her.

“Thanks.”

“No problem.” She shrugs a little.

I nod. “Let’s go.”

Time to face the world, time to do this. Time to be someone I really want to be for a day.

Time to not stumble and fall flat on my face the first time someone looks my way, or trip over my own shoes.

My stomach is all in knots and I feel a little sick from nerves... Why did I think this was a good idea again?