Lust

i hate him?

I wanted to say I hate you but he cut me off. As i struggled to breathe his rough hands stopped and i was grateful. I don't know if i could hate someone even if they did this i don't know why i'm like this i guess i'm a coward. I had to be a coward and i know i'm not going to let him break me? like can he? no that is only if i give him the power to right? I'm so confused and pissed and my entire body is sore oooohhh Goddd i swear i now know how people feel who have been in an accident. My body stings and i know i provoked him because i broke something he told me is priceless. I chuckle internally ouch! still he deserved it?  Still i can't believe he made me lose my job. My job i had worked so hard to climb the ladder and get paid i know i can be a manager again but, seriously having a stain on my resume is going to hurt. I never gotten fired and i seriously can't believe he got me fired. I swear i wasn't smart i should have called the cops but, impulsive me had to go break all his stuff. Fuckkk he angered me so much how dare he do this?! I felt him let off my head and i moved my head sideways to breathe but, i don't move or say anything. I shouldn't be dumb and say or do something there is no telling what is going in his mind. I need my body to heal and rest. He leaves and comes back i still haven't moved. I feel him start  to pull out the bits and pieces of glass out of my body. Then he leaned down and kissed my side cheek and no not my ass hehe. Then he left i finally tried to get some rest and i know i should stay up but, i am so worn out. 

--- hours later

I felt the bed dip some and i felt arms around me. He was cuddling me like he always does and i want to be upset at him but, when he starts petting my head playing with my hair i just calmed. Don't judge me! I can't help it it is so so relaxing. My body is less tense. He smells so good too. Then he started talking "I know i messed up but, you wouldn't understand Angel.. " long pause  " I'm not like them and i hope you forgive me" he laughs lightly " you probably didn't hear me"  he brushes a strand of hair behind my ears.  " you bring out alot in me" he sighs then hugs me moves closer and i could feel light breathing as he goes to sleep.