Just Like How the Sun Sets (del Grico Series #2)

Prologue

PROLOGUE

Sunset…

I’ve always been looking forward to that time of the day. Whenever the sun falls behind everything, I am always stunned by the beauty the sky beholds. It never fails to achieve absolute perfection.

It’s always been my favorite. Tingin ko’y paborito rin ‘yon ng maraming tao.

My heart broke for the excitement as I looked above. Malapit na kasing lumubog ang araw. Kanina ko pa ‘yon hinihintay dahil tingin ko, isa ‘yon sa makapapawi ng bigat na nararamdaman ko ngayon.

I’ve cried enough. Kaya kahit masakit pa rin ang lahat sa ‘kin, wala na ‘kong mailuha pa.

My phone kept ringing for my family and friends’ calls. I didn’t accept any of those. Sa lahat ng kahihiyan, wala muna akong gustong makausap sa ngayon kun ‘di ang isang tao.

Kumurap ako nang ilang sandali matapos iiwas ang tingin sa araw. Mistulan kasing tumatak sa paningin ko ang matinding sikat nito. Kahit na nakasuot ako ng aviator sunglass, nakasisilaw pa ring titigan ‘yon nang ilang segundo.

I rejected all the calls from everyone. Isang tawag lang ang gusto kong sagutin. I then went to my messages and stared at one contact.

Trainer…

He hasn’t texted me yet. Mas lalo lang no’ng napabigat ang puso ko.

Hindi niya na ba talaga ako mapapatawad?

Mabilis ding namang nawala ro’n ang atensyon ko nang maramdaman ang pagbabaliktad ng sikmura ko.

My hand immediately flew on my mouth to stop myself from vomiting. Bago pa magkalat dito sa may puwesto ko sa Starbucks, kaagad na ‘kong tumungo sa comfort room. Nagmamadali akong pumasok sa isang toilet cubicle. Mabuti’t walang tao at kaagad akong nakaabot sa bowl.

I kept vomiting for minutes and it just gave me headaches as well. Hindi lang sakit sa ulo ang ibinigay no’n sa ‘kin kun ‘di pati kaba.

Ilang araw na ‘kong ganito nitong mga nakaraang araw. Not only that. Yesterday, I tried a pregnancy test and it said positive. I haven’t tried another one to confirm if I am really pregnant because I’m already sure I am. Sigurado rin ako sa kung sino ang ama nito kung sakali. Ang tanging hindi ko lang alam ay… kung paniniwalaan ako.

After puking for minutes, I wiped the beads of sweat on my forehead. Ini-flash ko ang bowl bago lumabas sa isang cubicle para maghilamos. f**k! Sumasakit pa ang ulo ko ngayon.

My phone vibrated and it made my heart jump. Akala ko, nakatanggap na ‘ko ng message mula sa hinihintay kong tao. Hindi pala. Instead, the message was from Deymien.

Deymien:

Shinel, I’m really sorry about the….

Hindi na ‘ko nag-aksaya pang buksan ‘yon dahil mag-iinit lang ang dugo ko lalo.

He’s the reason why I am in this kind of situation! f**k him! Kuya Ynigo is already processing the papers to make him rot in jail. Maghanda lang talaga siya!

For the nth time, I felt how my stomach turned upside down. Muli akong naduwal.

“Are you okay?” Kung hindi pa nagsalita ang babae sa gilid ko, hindi ko pa siya mapapansin. I just eyed at her and didn’t answer her question. She was holding her cellphone and she seemed taking a video of me. Mabilis nag-init ang dugo ko ro’n.

“What are you doing?! Vini-video-han mo ba ‘ko?!” sita ko sa kanya. Dali-dali niya namang binaba ang cellphone niya.

“N-No! Gusto ko lang sanang makapagpa-picture sa ‘yo. You’re Yshinel Avellar, ‘di ba? Schoolmate kita and idol talaga kita since then.” She smiled at me.

It made me calm a little bit. Siguro’y paranoid lang ako dahil sa nangyari noong nakaraan lang. Siguro’y dahil na rin sa kondisyon ko ngayon.

I remained silent. Tinitigan ko naman siya nang ilang sandali, pilit hinahanapan ng kahina-hinala sa kanya. Mabuti’t mukhang sincere naman siya.

“So… can we take a picture?” Tinanguan ko siya’t pinagbigyan. Pagkatapos no’n, kaagad na rin akong lumabas sa comfort room. Dumiretso ako sa kotse ko pero hindi ko muna ‘yon pinaandar.

For the nth time, I glanced at my phone. Mauubos na lang ang battery ng phone ko sa katatawag ng ibang tao, hindi pa rin ako nakatatanggap ng mensahe mula sa kanya. Nakaiirita! Doesn’t he care for me na?! Nawalan na siya ng pakialam?! f**k him!

I don’t know if this is because of being pregnant but just by thinking about our situation right now, I couldn’t help but be teary. The video, me being pregnant, and even my trainer who’s not contacting me kept giving me frustration. Sa sobrang iritasyon, gusto ko na lang maluha. Kaso pagod na ‘ko ro’n.

Hindi ko na kaya pa ‘to.

Sa huli, ako na ulit ang naglakas ng loob na i-dial ang number niya.

Inisip ko na ang mga bagay na sasabihin ko sa kanya, na magagalit ako’t sisigawan siya ng mga masasakit na salita. But as soon as he answered my call, I couldn’t find any words to say.

My heart hammered so fast. No one spoke between us. Kinailangan ko pang i-check ang screen ng phone ko para lang siguraduhing sinagot niya nga ang tawag. He did answer but he remained silent. It broke my heart.

My tears fell completely. Parang may pumipiga sa puso ko. I needed to breathe deeply just so I would not sob.

“R-Ranzell…” My voice cracked because of tears. f**k it!

Ano na, Shinel? I thought you’d shower him hurtful words for being an ass? Ba’t tinawag mo lang siya?

A couple of seconds have passed yet I didn’t hear any single words from him. Mas lalo lang akong nairita.

“Ranzellius del Grico! Magsalita ka naman!” f**k! I sounded so desperate!

Hindi ko na nga napigilan pang mapahikbi.

And just like how merciless he was when I first saw him, he let me plead in despair. Wala akong narinig na kahit ano’ng salita sa kanya.

I wouldn’t forget the day when I first met him. He was like a sun. Well, he is, till now. I used to be a sunflower who often followed him. He lightened my life especially when I was about to give up. His warms, it melted the coldness of my life.

Dahil inumpisahan ko na… tinodo ko na rin ang kahihiyan. Kinaya kong ibaba ang mataas kong pride dahil ayaw kong mawala siya sa ‘kin.

“Please… let me explain myself again. I need y-you… I have something to tell you…” I kissed the back of my palm just to stop myself from sobbing. Every word I said was like daggers that kept aiming at my broken heart. “Please, baby….”

Hindi ko na kinaya pa. Ibinaba ko ang pagkakahawak sa phone ko para takpan ang buong mukha at humagulhol.

This fight is frustrating me so f*****g much! I just want us to be okay. Kahit siya lang ang maniwala sa ‘kin, ayos na ‘ko. Pero f**k! He’s not even talking back!

I was in the middle of breaking down when I heard a response from him. Mabilis kong pinigilang gumawa ng ingay noong marinig kong nagsalita na siya sa kabilang linya.

“We really need to talk,” he uttered using his cold and deadly voice. Despite his tone, it gave me hope. Kaagad kong pinalis ang mga luha ko at tumango kahit hindi naman niya ‘yon makikita.

Yes, baby! We will talk! I f*****g want that!

“T-Thank you so much! I love you—“ Before I could finish talking, he ended the call. Even that simple move broke my heart into million pieces yet… I tried to accept it.

This is hard for him as well. Iyon na lang ang inisip ko. Giving me a chance to explain myself was hard for him too yet he still did. I shouldn’t waste this moment.

I conditioned myself. Hinanda ko ang sarili sa mga sasabihin sa kanya. When he messaged me the meeting place, I didn’t hesitate to go there. Binilisan ko pa nga ang pagpapatakbo ko ng kotse ko para lang hindi ko siya mapaghintay.

He picked our favorite place for our meet up. It gave me a little hope in my heart. Sana talaga, paniwalaan niya ‘ko. Siya lang ang kailangan kong maniwala sa ‘kin at wala nang iba.

Nang makarating ako sa bukirin ng mga bulaklak na madalas naming puntahan, mabilis akong bumaba ng kotse at tinakbo ang maliit na waiting shed na madalas naming tambayan ni Ranzell.

A field of sunflowers greeted me. Some of it was dancing as the wind blew while all of them were looking up to the sun. Palapit na rin ang pinakapaborito kong oras: ang paglubog ng araw. It would be a beautiful scene if ever Ranzell will believe me later.

I was full of hope while running towards our favorite place. Pero ang lahat ng pag-asang ‘yon, nasira nang may madatnang ibang tao. Ang pag-asa sa puso ko’y napalitan ng takot.

My eyes widened as I met the gaze of Deymien. It was his reaction too as he slowly stood.

What the f*****g f**k?! Bakit siya nandito?!

Literal na huminto kaagad ako sa pagtakbo. Nang humakbang siya palapit sa ‘kin, humakbang din ako paatras.

“Shinel, wait!”

“What are you doing here, f*****g asshole?!” hindi ko na napigilan ang galit ko. Mabilis ko ring nilibot ang tingin sa paligid, takot na baka biglang dumating si Ranzell.

No way! Bakit ngayon pa?! I just had a chance of explaining myself to the guy I truly love! Mukhang masisira na naman ‘yon dahil sa lalaking ‘to!

“Leave me alone! Umalis ka na ngayon din, Deym! You’ll ruin my chance!” I shouted. My tears started to form again.

Fuck it! I should go now! Baka mas lalo lang akong mawalan ng pag-asa kapag naabutan kami rito ni Ranzell.

“Give me my chance too.”

Mabilis kong inilingan si Deymien bilang sagot at nagtangkang tumakbo palapit ng kotse ko. But before I could, he held my wrist to stop me. Napabalik ako sa kanya sa lakas ng pagkakahiklat niya sa ‘kin. I landed on his chest.

“Let’s talk, babe. We need to settle things—“ nagsusumamong aniya na halos pandirihan ko.

Before I could protest, a voice stopped us.

“Deym!” Mabilis kaming napalingon sa likod nang may tumawag sa kanyang babae.

It felt like my world literally stopped when I saw the people looking at us from behind. Napasinghap ako at nawalan ng lakas sa pagkalas sa hawak ni Deymien.

“Ate Elle,” tawag ni Deymien kay Elle.

But my eyes remained on the other person who was watching us, on the guy who has a set of amber-colored eyes. He kept on clenching his teeth as his dagger-like eyes darted on us. With that look, I already know what could happen.

It seems like my nightmare came true. He saw us.

My eyes then eyed the girl beside him.

He was with Elle. Sabay ba silang pumunta rito? Magkasama ba sila? Bakit?

Even that fact added fuel to my burning heart. Kahit gano’n, sinubukan kong ituon ang atensyon sa pagpapaliwanag kay Ranzell.

“R-Ranzell…” I uttered desperately. Do’n lang ulit ako nagkaroon ulit ng lakas ng loob na kalasin ang pagkakahawak ni Deymien sa mga braso ko.

He looked at me with full of coldness in his eyes. Tanging poot lang ang naramdaman ko mula sa kanyang mga mata. It worsened the pain in my heart.

The deafening silence prevailed over us. 

At his back was the setting sun I’ve been waiting for. Kanina’y atat na atat na ‘ko para do’n. Ngayon, gusto ko na lang munang patigilin ang araw sa pagbaba. Ayaw kong mabahiran ng pait ang paborito kong oras.

“Is this what you want to tell me, Shinel?” malamig na tanong ni Ranzell. He called me by my first name… And with his question, I felt like I’m gonna lose him.

My tears began to fall as I shook my head continuously. Marami akong gustong sabihin kanina pero tila tinakasan ako ng mga salita ngayon. Patuloy sa pagkirot ang puso ko.

Sinubukan kong humakbang palapit sa kanya. “Let me explain first. P-Please…”

I tried holding his hand but he didn’t let me. Sa paraan ng pag-iwas niya sa hawak ko, tila ba nandidiri siya sa ‘kin. And f**k! It felt like he stabbed me!

Parang nanghihina ang mga tuhod ko sa sakit. I almost stumble on the ground. Everything was draining me, physically and emotionally.

“What for? Everything is so clear,” pag-epal ni Elle. If ever I’m in the mood right now, I’d slap her. Pero wala akong oras para sa kanya ngayon. All I think about is Ranzell’s opinion about me.

I eyed Ranzell and tried telling him things using my eyes. Pero nagtagis lang ang bagang niya at tiluyan na kaming tinalikuran.

“No!” I panicked.

As my man turned his back at me, that was also when the sun slowly set. Ironic how I was excited about it a while ago and now, I just wanted the time to stop. Ayaw ko munang lumubog ang araw sa pagkakataong ‘to. Hindi sa ganitong sitwasyon.

“Ranzellius!” Sinubukan kong tawagin siya sa buong pangalan niya, umaasang hihinto siya sa paglalakad palayo sa ‘kin pero hindi. Mas lalo pa ‘kong nataranta dahil do’n.

“I’m pregnant!” I tried to shout my last resort. Nagtagumpay naman ako at natigilan nga siya.

For a moment, I felt at ease. Muli akong nilingon ni Ranzell. Halos magsalubong ang kilay niya, dahil siguro sa isinigaw ko. Even Elle looked shocked by what I admitted. Kaagad din namang napawi ‘yon lalo pa noong magsalita si Deym sa likod ko.

“What?” Deymien’s hopeful voice caught our full attention. “We’re going to have a baby?”

“Huh?!”

What the f*****g f**k is he saying?! Is he insane?! That would be a miracle!

Naitulak ko siya sa iritasyon. Bago pa man bawiin ni Deym ang walang katuturan niyang konklusiyon, narinig kong muli ang tila yelong boses ni Ranzell.

“Then, congrats.” For the nth time, I felt a great fear because of what he uttered. “May you guys build a better family.”

Ilang beses akong umiling, umaasang mabilis kong maipapaliwanag ang lahat sa pamamagitan noon.

“No! you don’t understand, Ranzell—“

But he turned his back at me again. This time, I am sure that he would not glace back again.

“Ranzell, no!” 

Hindi ko na alam kung ano pa ang dapat sabihin. Sumabay pa ang hindi ko na napigilang mga hikbi sa sakit ng pagtalikod niya.

The colors in the sky changed subtly from orange and yellow to various shades of red. Magnificent hues lit up the sky. But as my eyes darted at the back of my man who was walking away from me, my perception about the sunset changed. Doon pa lang, alam ko na.

I already knew that that scene will remain on my mind, forever. Because at the moment, Ranzellius del Grico left me just like how the sun sets.