DARK ORIGINS (Scarlett of the wolves, Book 4)

15.

Back in St Andrews, to be on the safe side, we spent the night in an Edinburgh airport hotel, waiting for daylight to break. In the early hours of the morning, we went to Rucker’s place to think about what we were going to do, because now we had four problems to deal with: removing the Moroi who was perpetrating murders in St Andrews, preventing his fellows from doing the same thing when they arrive, save our skin, and find Elgin. Never had the pressure been so great. We all had a personal stake, and not one, not even Pitt, could claim not to be affected. Grigore was going to rush headlong to try to turn the situation around and in the process put his own life in danger. For this reason alone, Pitt was committed, he would never let his blood brother take such risks without helping him. Thus, the dark angel whose only objective was to harm me found himself swallowed by the whirlwind of events. 

Paul, Remus, and Gabriel left the house very quickly. As Rucker was unable to return to his place on the Council, they had gone there to report and try to find the solution to problem number one: overcoming the Moroi. The Moroi had been our main topic of conversation as if bringing up others was pushing back the deadline for the apocalypse hanging over our heads. 

However, not once did Pitt or I mention my ability to see them. By mutual agreement, we had understood that it was wiser to talk about it among ourselves, when Paul, Remus and Gabriel were gone.

For my part, and without having yet said a word to anyone, I said to myself that it might be wise to inform the detective whose card I had kept. With my help, by becoming his eyes, he would know how to use all means to neutralize it. I had never had the soul of a superhero, but I was no longer wondering if it was reasonable or not to be so involved. Whether I wanted it or not, we were all risking our lives. But before we did anything, we all had to convince Rucker to change his face and wear the Garou amulet around his neck. He was the main target of the Strigoi and since they were unaware of Rucker’s transfiguration abilities or the existence of the amulets, we had a good way to cover him up without having to hide. However, Rucker didn’t react. He hadn’t responded to us, he was locked in, as if the outside world didn’t exist. Not once had he asked for news of Morel and Corwin when they were the most precious people in his life. His love for them was limitless and I wouldn’t have given much for his existence if something had happened to them.

Kaley had managed to take the children with her to Wick and for that, I was extremely relieved. I knew they were safe there. It was even the first thing I said to Rucker when we got home, that he shouldn’t worry about them. With a heavy heart, I couldn’t tell if he was even aware...

Exhausted, I headed upstairs to join Gwen who, desperate, had locked herself in the room she had occupied during her first stay here. I could imagine how she would feel right now. All this fear, all this anguish, to finally find the one she loved and discover that he was just a shadow of himself and that she didn’t have the power to change that.

I wondered where I got this strength from. I would have liked to collapse, screaming for Elgin to be returned to me, for someone to explain to me why we had been separated again because that was the most unbearable thing: not knowing, not understanding. Instead, I faced, as best I could, my worst terrors, head held high and pincers in my stomach. When would all of this end? When could we have a life? A real life?    

I sighed sharply and put my hand on the doorknob.

I was going to talk to Gwen. Then I would take a shower, a long shower, and try to forget that everything was so bad.

“Gwen?” I asked softly, opening the door a c***k.  

She didn’t answer.

I opened it and entered the room. I found her sitting on the windowsill, in a towel, gazing at the sea which, with the fury of the wind, rose in waves of several meters, slamming against the cliffs.    

The bay window was large, I first sat next to Gwen, my back to the sea, then I swivelled, folding my legs, and gazed at the storm in front of us. It was as violent as the one ravaging our hearts right now.

“I don’t know what to do,” she said.

I put a comforting hand on her thigh and rested my head on her shoulder.

“Don’t do anything… It’s still early. Time heals the deepest wounds.”

At least that’s what I was hoping for...

“He doesn’t even have the strength to fight, as if he doesn’t care what could happen to him. I had to carry him back to the hotel, Scarlett, he didn’t want to fly! He said to me: What for? My life has been so long. But not enough for me! I was just born!”       

I sighed for a long time.

“I know you’re in pain, Gwen, but he suffered more than any of us. He needs time, rest, and you too.”

“I don’t know… I thought… I didn’t think that three days could…”

Her voice choked on a sob.

“I’ll fly!” 

I didn’t have the courage to stop her. No one should take the risk of stepping outside in such weather. She let go of her towel and leapt into the tormented sky, naked, sliding with the gusts to gain speed. I stared at her for a moment, then turned my back to walk out of the room and came face to face with Grigore.

He had showered, dressed, and smelled like soap.

My heart raced, I hated it.

“We have to talk,” he announced in a deep voice.

Petrified, I shook my head. Since we had returned, I had deliberately avoided being alone with him, totally disturbed by our previous mystical exchange. No one had slept yet and I wasn’t sure I would be able to hear what Grigore had to say to me on the subject.

“Not now.”

“We must.”

“Not now,” I repeated.

He took a step forward, I immediately stepped back.

“Scarlett...”

Pulling myself together with all my strength, I raised my index finger in front of him to silence him.

“Grigore! The situation is complicated enough already. I don’t know what’s happening to us, but it should be the least of our worries. There’s more to be resolved.” 

He watched me for a few seconds, his eyes glistening more with anger than frustration, then buried his hands in his jeans pockets, jaw clenched, refraining from saying anything of consequence.

“However you want.”

Eyes half-open, he stepped aside to give me space. Much more feverish than I would have liked, I walked past him without saying a word and hurried to my room.

I didn’t like it. I really didn’t like it.

Once alone, I undressed mechanically, confidently, while my hands were shaking. What was happening to me? It had come suddenly, without warning. In Grigore’s presence, my skin almost felt like it crackled. Yet nothing was physical between us. He was handsome, tall, and strong, everything a woman could want in a man, but it wasn’t his fleshly exterior that attracted me, rather what it contained. 

It was his soul.

As if struck with dread by this monstrous deduction, I froze, my fingers clenched around my throat.

I felt he was a reflection of myself.

All the cells in my body abruptly rejected this evidence, yet our souls did attract each other. Not because of their differences, but because they were alike. They were alike in every way. They were looking for each other. It was simply impossible! Mine already belonged to someone else, no one could do anything about it and I didn’t want that to change for anything in the world!  

By the Spirit! Elgin had been gone too long; I was completely losing my mind. 

Seriously shaken, I forced myself to sweep away the flood of my thoughts and disappeared into the bathroom. There, I positioned myself under the hot water jets and closed my eyelids.

Alone with myself, as the steam numbed my muscles, I slid against the wall and cried.

I left the room at least an hour later. Gwen, Pitt, Grigore and Rufus were in the living room, I could hear them talking. They were talking about Rucker. Annoyed, because I knew he wasn’t participating in the conversation, I walked determinedly to the top floor. There I raised my fist to knock on his door.

“Come in!” Rucker’s voice came before I knocked. 

It was so sharp and energetic that I was speechless for a few seconds.

When I entered the room, I found him standing with his back to the window, his arms crossed over his chest. He had that familiar gleam that lit his eyes whenever he had something important to say. I was so happy to see an expression on his face that truly resembled him, that I almost threw myself against his chest to hug him. But I controlled myself. After what he had just gone through, he probably couldn’t stand someone touching him.

“Come closer,” he said, seeing that I was hesitating.

I complied and took a few steps in his direction. I stopped a metre away from him, my heart pounding, not knowing what to say. I opted for a ready-made formula, but true.

“You seem to be doing better.”

Destabilized, I couldn’t help but flee his gaze.

He positioned himself right in front of me and gently slid the collar of my T-shirt to inspect my neck. I knew there was still a slight mark. It might take several days for it to fade completely.

“It’s nothing,” I whispered.

He tightened his fingers tightly around my shoulders.

“Don’t lie to me, Scarlett, you’ve been seriously shaken.”

“You weren’t yourself.”

He looked at me with a pained expression.

“I could have killed you...”

And I would have died for you, I wanted to answer, but I didn’t. He knew it. I loved Rucker like a brother.

“But you didn’t.”

“You saved my life.”

“And you would have done the same for me,” I replied immediately.

I didn’t want him to drown in guilt, because nothing was his fault, he hadn’t asked to be brutally kidn*pped, laid bare, and then tortured.

“I owe you a lot.”

“Don’t talk nonsense, Rucker. Before that, I owed you a lot more. Nothing has changed between us. Fortunately, you had the good idea to bite me only after my transformation into lupus, otherwise, we would have been linked for eternity, you, and me, and there, you would have understood your pain!” I tried to joke. 

But he doesn’t laugh. In his azure irises passed the reflection of an overwhelming loyalty.

“It would have been a great honour, Scarlett.”

“Oh, Rucker!” 

Without further hesitation, I threw myself into his arms. Slowly, he closed them around me and stroked my hair.

“I lived a hell, Scarlett, by the sky, I lived a hell!” 

I swallowed a sob and pressed him a little more against me.

“Will you be able to forget?” I asked, realizing that I was using the wrong words. 

Could he resume the normal course of his life? To be the loving brother he had always been, the protective friend the Circle knew, and the generous and gentle companion that Gwen had discovered? With all my heart, I hoped so.  

“Never,” he whispered in a broken voice, “never… They mutilated my soul… They devoured me, repeatedly, my flesh, my blood… they devoured me.”

The marks on his waist and arms… They had fed on him. Several times.

My heart sank, and when I felt a drop of water splash against my forehead, it shattered. I wrapped my hands around his neck and put pressure on his shoulders to bend his knees. We dropped to the ground where Rucker abandoned himself and wept for a long time. I had never been so upset in my life.

We emerged from the depths of our tears when Gwen knocked on the door. A real change then took place in Rucker. He stood up straight and resumed the impassive mask he had put on when he left that cursed castle. I begged him with a weak smile.

“Don’t send her away.”

He looked down at me with tormented but sincere eyes.

“Never.”

I turned around and stopped just before placing my hand on the handle.

“Are you going to agree to change your face?” 

He nodded briefly.

I came back to him, stood up on my tiptoes and kissed his cheek lightly.

“Thank you.”

I left the room as Gwen entered. She was dripping rainwater under the towel she had wrapped around herself. Before closing the door behind me, we exchanged a deeply gentle look, hers glowing with unconditional love for Rucker. Gwen would know how to heal his wounds… maybe.

I went down to the living room, both Pitt and Grigore were seated on the armchairs in front of a roaring log fire crackling madly in the hearth.

“Where’s Rufus?” I asked. “Gone?”  

“He’s left a while ago,” Pitt informed me.

Pitt was the only one who hadn’t had a chance to relax in the shower and I offered him one of the bathrooms.

“You offer me hospitality?” he wondered. 

Technically, no, because I wasn’t home, but I understood exactly what he meant, so I answered him honestly.

“I owe it to you.”

He shook his head.

“You don’t owe me anything.”

We stared at each other for a few moments as Grigore watched us, silent.

“You saved my life. Twice. Why?” 

He glanced at Grigore and shrugged nonchalantly.

“For him.”

Then he left the room, leaving behind a heavy silence.

The house phone rang at the same time, making me jump as I was so tense. I ran to pick up the receiver and recognized Morel’s voice. Corwin was with him.

“You came back!” he cried. “Is he there? Scarlett, is he there?”   

After those endless twelve hours, Morel tore my first smile from me.

“Perceval is here. He’s fine.”

The children gave a howl of joy that made my eardrums burst.

“Can we go home, then?” 

“Not yet, we have a couple of things to sort out. How’s it going with Kaley?” 

“She made us eat fruits and vegetables with each meal since we arrived and last night, we had to go to bed at nine o’clock, at the latest! She’s crazier than you,” he laughs heartily. “Can we talk to Perceval, please?”  

“Give me Kaley first, then I’ll go get him. But he’s very tired, Morel. He’s not quite himself,” I warned him. “Don’t be surprised if he’s distant.”

“He’s our brother,” he protested, “he’ll be happy to talk to us!” 

“Of course,” I whispered, hoping Rucker wouldn’t disappoint them.

There was a sound of the handset being moved, then Kaley grabbed the phone.

“So, old woman, all’s well that ends well, it seems!” 

“He’s back with us, yes.”

“He is?” she repeated, emphasizing he. Where’s Elgin?”    

I didn’t respond immediately, gasping for breath like every time his disappearance was mentioned.

“I don’t know,” I confessed in a lifeless voice. “Not yet…”

“What do you mean not yet? You said he was kidn*pped by the same creatures that kidn*pped your friend. Scarlett, what’s going on?”    

“Elgin wasn’t there, and I have no idea where he is.”

“Lord!” she cried. 

“What?” I heard Gwen’s mother’s distant voice. 

Kaley repeated to her word for word what I had just said, she immediately snatched the receiver from her hands.

“Scarlett, it’s Rebecca. What exactly happened to Elgin? Should I tell his father? He still hasn’t come home, but I could send him a mess...”  

“No!” I cried immediately. “Not yet, please, Mrs Fisher. There’s no point in worrying him until we know exactly what this is all about.”

“Alright, I’ll do what you tell me. Are you all going to join us here?” 

“I don’t think so, Mrs Fisher.”

“You will have to lose the habit of calling me by my last name,” she chided me kindly. “Could you pass me Gwen, please?” 

“Of course, hang on.”

She was already walking down the stairs on Rucker’s arm, her eyes red from the many tears she had shed. But she seemed at peace and I was deeply relieved.

I settled into an armchair across from Grigore and waited in perfect silence for them all to finish their conversation. Rucker reassured his brothers as best he could, avoiding telling them about the most sordid parts of his detention. Morel and Corwin would never know anything about it and it was preferable.

Pitt and Rufus joined us at this point, looking serious and concerned when they saw that Rucker had come to his senses. With the flat of his hand, Rucker invited them to settle down near Grigore. He followed Pitt’s movements carefully and addressed him when he was seated.

“I owe you my life,” he said to him simply.

Pitt crossed his legs and pretended to pick his nails.

“You owe it to others. We’re quits.”

Rucker stared at him for a moment but didn’t pick up the touch of aggression in Pitt’s voice. With a poignant look of sincerity, he thanked us all. Then he began to recount his ordeal, causing me to suffocate in spasms of anxiety.

“I didn’t see it, when the Moroi attacked us, I didn’t see it. It killed the young server of the Red Lion in front of me, I couldn’t do anything to help him. His body was torn apart before my eyes for no reason, I thought I was going crazy. Then the creature’s will crept into me, preventing me from fleeing and reacting, planting fear and chaos in my mind. I had never known anything like it, I had become more helpless than a sick child. He manipulated me like a puppet.

“The supreme vampire’s powers were flowing through it,” Pitt explained. “He can control them from a distance, just as he can control each of us if he wants to.”

“He didn’t need to hurt me,” Rucker continued, “I followed him, I walked towards my tormentors without resistance. Long after he left me in the hands of the Strigoi guards, even when they took me across the sea, I was still groggy. I was tortured for a long time before they explained to me what had been my fault. But I knew it. I guessed it the minute I smelled them.”

Then he turned to look at me.

“Scarlett, Elgin has never been in this castle, neither has any other Were, the entire time I was tortured.”

“I understand,” I whispered.

“Since when did he disappear?” 

“He hasn’t given any news since last Monday and no one knows where he is. Not even his family. Everything’s going wrong, I... I want it all to stop.”

I broke off, resting my eyes on Grigore. He seemed to be in pain with me and it was almost unbearable to feel.

I pulled myself together very quickly and explained to him everything that had happened in his absence. The murders, the division of the pack, the coming of Pitt, the revelations made to Kaley, the reaction of his brothers, my meeting with the detective, the Moroi, I told him everything except this bond that united Grigore and me. I would keep that to myself as long as Grigore did.

“Have you seen the Moroi?” Rucker asked since we had not yet spoken about it. 

“As I see you, when they were totally invisible to me,” Pitt replied for me.

“What do they look like?” Gwen asked. 

No need to search the depths of my memory to describe them, I remembered perfectly their hideous and aggressive appearance. I explained everything to them.

“Where do they come from?” she asked us again. 

Pitt cleared his throat.

“No one except the supreme vampire knows exactly, but legend has it that they were created by the hand of witches to serve him. He’s their only master, which would be the reason why no one but him sees them.

“But Scarlett can,” Grigore added. “You wore the amulet. Could that be it?” 

I widened my eyes.

“I didn’t think about that.”

“Did they manage to manipulate your mind as they did with Rucker?” Grigore asked me. 

“No.”

“It’s because none have been ordered to,” Pitt reminded us.

“Or it’s an effect of the amulet,” Grigore suggested.

“I felt attracted to him,” I announced bluntly. “By the supreme vampire.”

My words hung in the air, surrounded by puzzled silence.

“His power and energy flowed over me. I could have thrown myself at his feet, I resisted.”

Pitt shook his head from side to side.

“If he had manipulated you, you wouldn’t even have thought of resisting. His mental strength is much more than his physical strength. Enough to subdue creatures as indomitable as the Moroi.”

“But he let us go…”

Pitt nodded, aware that nothing made sense to me.

“That’s true. He cannot control more than one mind at the same time.”

I lowered my eyes and relapsed for a moment in the memory of that interminable morning.

“He took your mind in the dungeon. You had to run away and you didn’t move.”

He nodded, he remembered it perfectly.

“And soon Moroi will be here again. All of them,” Gwen moaned in a shaky voice. 

No one knew how to answer that.

“That’s what the supreme vampire claimed,” Pitt replied.

“He also said he would lower his guns if we managed to kill them,” Rufus interrupted us. “Did he really mean it?” 

Pitt didn’t hesitate a second before answering.

“Yes, because he’s convinced that we’ll not succeed.”

“Is that the case?” 

“They are the devil,” Rucker said sharply in an unrecognizable voice. “They are the devil and hell together. They will kill us all.”

His features were twisted with fear. In his eyes passed images of agony from which he had thought he would never break loose. Powerless, we found the man we had discovered in the dungeons: devastated, broken, bruised in his flesh, in his soul. 

Caught up in his pain, by the evil that would eat away at him for a long time to come, I would have liked to suffer in his place to see him again in peace.

Gwen put a gentle hand on his thigh. He immediately grabbed it and crushed it between his fingers. She had to encircle his wrist with force to make him come to his senses.

He reacted, jumped, and studied her, his gaze blank. Then he rested his thumb and index finger on her eyes, exhaling loudly, gasping for air.

“Is it possible to shoot them?” Rufus asked without taking his eyes off Rucker who had once again plunged into absolute silence. 

Pitt’s mouth twitched in a bitter sneer.

“If we are successful, we’ll have been very lucky.”

“They are slow,” I interjected. “We are fast and their reflexes are much less keen than ours.”

“They can dematerialize,” Pitt contradicts me.

“True, but over small distances. I have seen the way they move when they are close to their prey: heavily, roughly. They only have their invisibility as a real asset. If we see them, we can avoid them and fight.” 

“Until now, only you can see them.”

“If it’s thanks to the amulet, we can be two.”

“Two isn’t enough,” he insisted.

“That’ll be enough to take out the one lurking in St Andrews,” I said.

“You don’t doubt anything!” he almost laughed. 

“We can take it by surprise,” I said stubbornly. “And then…, we’ll not act alone.”

Eyes converged on me, puzzled.

Grigore frowned.

“What are you thinking?” 

“Keith Forbes, the detective I told you about. Let him know what we know about the  Moroi.”

“Why?” 

“Because he’s an experienced lupus and joining forces can only be beneficial,” I evaded.

Exaggeratedly, he raised an eyebrow.

“Hearing you put forward such ideas will always leave me perplexed, kid.”

“Because he’s a Were?” 

“I doubt your Forbes wants to mingle with members of our community.”

“If it allows him to complete his investigation.”

Gwen leaned forward, resting her forearms on her thighs.

“What’s on your mind?” 

I fixed determined eyes on her. I was ready to do anything.

“He’s lupus, he can help me find Elgin.”

“And after?” Grigore said. 

“I’ll go get him.”

They all exchanged mute looks, then Rucker broke out of the silence to speak in a loud voice: 

“That’s what we’ll all do.”