Two days before Luke's birthday, I’m at the parking lot with Arlene, unsure of what gift to get him.
I ask, "What should I get Luke?"
Arlene, filing her nails, laughs and says, "A girlfriend." We both chuckle.
Then Stephanie and her friends approach us, pretending to laugh.
"Hi Arlene, hi hoe," she says, and I wonder who she’s calling a hoe—maybe herself.
I reply, "Are you talking about yourself? You're the only one dressed like that."
Arlene laughs, and Stephanie snaps back, "Well, you're a loser because you’ve never had sex."
I shoot back, "Oh yeah? You’re a s**t; guys just have to look at you, and your legs open."
Everyone gasps as I see the guys arriving. I add, "Good chatting, but I need to leave before I catch an STD from you."
Jordan comments, "She deserves that. I
