Yolks on You Box Set

Chapter 11-2

Kiko asked for a table away from the bar. Out the window, yellow light illuminated part of Bob and Bab’s pen; inside, lights advertising beer glowed, and signs depicting the same beverages lined the walls. When Dom ordered a Golden Goose Egg the waitress shook her head.

“We don’t have that,” she said. “But we have other Mount Angus on tap.”

“Try the Fattened Gerbil,” said Kiko. “That one always wins awards.” When Dom stared at him he grinned. “Buddy Miller likes out-there names.”

“It’s like he got the memo beer names should be clever and then failed anyway,” said Dom after he’d ordered one and the waitress left. He was staring at the list of beers on tap. “Amber Submarine. Death and Taxidermy. Muddy Angus.”

“He’s very proud of the name for that one,” said Kiko. “The label is a cow half-covered in mud.”

“And he probably can’t look at it anymore,” said Dom, pushing the list away as their beers arrived. They ordered burgers and their choice of what Kiko again assured Dom were absolutely delicious potatoes, and Kiko added cheese curds for them to split.

“So,” he said when the waitress had left. He wanted to get to know Dom better, despite his mind telling him it was a bad idea. Knowing too much meant you got close, and getting close meant you got hurt when your interest left at the end of the weekend. But he couldn’t seem to stop himself. “If Mount Angus and environs are weird, what’s Illinois like then?”

Dom shook his head and smiled as he said the word “environs,” leaving Kiko pleased. He used words as a test sometimes; some people were offended by them, and he was not interested in anyone who was intimidated by him speaking. Dom took another drink.

“You’re right, this is pretty good. I think I’m going to have to stock up on beer before leaving.”

“I’m curious,” said Kiko. “We’re unbalanced—you know much more about Mount Angus and my life than I know about you.”

“Is that necessary for a fling?”

“For this one,” said Kiko. “And I don’t think you want to pass up your brief window of opportunity with me. Won’t it annoy Alec something awful?”

“I’m not here because of Alec.” Dom took another drink. “Don’t know what you want to know though. I live in the suburbs, work as a claims adjuster for a health insurance place. Which is actually why I think Sam’s a good bet for the murderer; I have a good idea what his family has to pay for, and it’s ridiculous, I can guarantee you that.”

“Talking about the explosions again?” replied Kiko, rolling his eyes as affectionately as he could at Dom. Their cheese curds arrived, deep fried and hot, and Dom took out his notepad. Kiko wanted to chide him, but the cheese curds were too hot to eat just yet anyway.

“We’re running out of time,” said Dom. “More people could die at any time for this money. I can’t believe the cops haven’t shut everything down after the death.”

“I think everyone’s very against that,” said Kiko, poking at a cheese curd and determining it still too hot. “The Eggstravaganza really is the most important event of the year for Mount Angus. Stopping it would be bad for all the businesses, and probably would put some under.”

“Yours?” asked Dom, not looking up from his notepad, and Kiko felt suddenly uneasy. He didn’t want Dom to suspect him, but he doubted there was anything he could really say to prevent that.

“Not immediately. But if I didn’t make up for it somehow, yes.”

“Well, that’s no good,” said Dom, scribbling in his notepad.

“As you have noticed, Yolks on You is a bit of a niche place.”

“I’m going to go ahead and remove the school from the list.”

“What, don’t think anyone at the school would be building bombs for prize money?” asked Kiko, dipping a cheese curd in the provided ranch dressing and popping it into his mouth. Dom looked up, grabbed a cheese curd of his own.

“No, I actually think a lot of people at a school would be building bombs for prize money. Think of it: school board members wanting a bigger scholarship for their upcoming honor role student about to graduate. Principal wanting a bigger and better parking spot. New gymnasium for sports. Science teacher wanting more funding for supplies—that’s a particularly good one, a science teacher would know how to build a bomb, right? The possibilities are endless. It’s not that I don’t think the school would. I just also think there are other people who have pretty big motives for this, and are more likely to really need the money. It’s a big award.” He paused, ate the cheese curd. “These’re good.”

“You haven’t tasted Wisconsin until you’ve had beer and cheese curds.”

Dom wasn’t paying attention, instead frowning at his pad.

“I still don’t want to cross the church off yet,” he said, not noticing when Kiko rolled his eyes. “There always seems to be at least one messed-up person at any church. But Sam’s really looking good for this—his business is barely a noticeable presence here, and he has to need the money…”

“You think it’s everyone,” said Kiko, slightly surprised when the words came out harsher than he meant. Dom looked up, not pleased.

“And you don’t think it’s anyone,” he said. “Your little town’s not so perfect, Kiko. Someone died today. Someone’s doing this.”

There was tension between them now, sudden, and not at all the kind Kiko had been hoping for. He struggled to find something more upbeat to say, something light and funny to break the mood. He didn’t want to drive Dom away, not when Dom would be driving away soon enough regardless. Their food came then, thankfully, the waitress slamming down the plates and asking if she could get them anything else.

“I’d like a Death and Taxidermy,” said Dom, and Kiko shook his head to indicate he was good with the last of what he had. He was, after all, driving.

“You probably think it’s me,” he said lightly as he stabbed his bleu cheese mashed potatoes with a fork. The comment seemed to work; Dom smiled at him.

“Only at first. But tell me, are you really never in the running? Your store is basically a year-round Eggstravaganza.”

Kiko sighed.

“They like awarding it to places that are more likely to make them look good. They’ve given it to the bank and the school a few times, depending on what’s going on in the atmosphere around town. The brewery gets it about half the time; more people have heard of the Mount Angus through beer than anything. I almost won it one year, but they gave it to Joylove’s. They really went all-out that year, though. Not sure why they don’t more often.”

“You should win some year. Invest in an egg-themed play area for the kids.”

Kiko laughed.

“I wouldn’t do that.”

“No?” asked Dom, trying his parmesan fries. “These’re good.”

“No. I’d open a restaurant. Mount Angus doesn’t really have a definitively good place for breakfast, and who could do breakfast better? I’d source local eggs, dust off some old family recipes from around the area—”

“Decorate with c***s,” said Dom, nodding.

“Thinking about c***s? I thought you were too focused on murder for that.”

“Eat your burger,” said Dom, wry grin on his face. “You’re going to need the energy to help me puzzle out who’s behind it all.”