God Knows

Chapter One: The Commencement

" ʸᵒᵘ ʰᵉᵃʳ ᵇᵘᵗ ᵃʳᵉ ʸᵒᵘ ˡⁱˢᵗᵉⁿⁱⁿᵍ...ʸᵒᵘ ᵉˣⁱˢᵗ ᵇᵘᵗ ᵃʳᵉ ʸᵒᵘ ˡⁱᵛⁱⁿᵍ... ʸᵒᵘ ᶜᵃⁿ ˢᵉᵉ ᵇᵘᵗ ᵃʳᵉ ʸᵒᵘ ˡᵒᵒᵏⁱⁿᵍ."

-??ℴ???ℴ??

~ו×~ ~ו×~

|| The Commencement||

︎☠︎︎Castiel☠︎︎

Kicked after kicked, curse after curse, slashed after slashed. It's too painful. My body ached and blood's dripping off of my back, bruises and wounds that'll surely leave scars littered around my whole body. I continued gritting my teeth in hopes to ease the stinging sensation all over my figure until everything stopped. The kicking, the wimping and the screaming...it all stopped. I started to see black dots in my blurry vision. A tall, silhouette of a woman stood in front of me but it surely wasn't my mother. No, it's someone else. It was the last thing I saw before darkness consumed me.

• • •

' How... How fast it turned downhill. Is this really how God wanted it to be? To make me suffer in worst way possible. What did I ever did to deserve this shitty life? All I want is a peaceful life, a whole happy family, a normal social life, normality. Is it really too much to ask for a nine years old child? Did I ever disrespect you to make my life a living hell? f**k this cliche! Why am I questioning you? It's not like you'll ever answer this stupid things. What an i***t am I to complain to you, you'll probably make my life even more worst...if that's even possible.'

• • •

I wake up with those thoughts and pain shot through my entire body. Groaning in discomfort, I sit up only to notice that I'm in an unfamiliar room. I look around and it looks like I'm in the hospital.

Silently contemplating how did I get in here. Memories of that teeth-shattering t*****e I've experienced in the hands of my own mother came flooding my mind. Pain and fear shot through my whole being and I start to silently cry while shaking in fear violently. Clutching the sides of my head and pulling into my curly dark brown locks, gritting my teeth in terror and frustration.

"Humans... Those disgusting, heartless, mercilessly devils...they're all devils... They hurt, they t*****e, they kill for their own selfish desires... They're disgusting. I'll... I'll never trust any of them ever again...never again." I mumbled to myself, still curled up in a ball, tears staining my pale bruised cheeks.

Suddenly, the door opened, revealing a woman in her mid forties with dyed blonde hair and brown eyes. She looks familiar to me but I can't put my finger on who she really is. She smiles at me as she sees me already awake and walk up to me causing me to scoot away from her, sadly my back hit the headboard and hiss in pain.

"Shh, it's okay Cas. I won't heart you, I promise." She said and sat on the edge of the bed. I start to panic and my heart's racing again. My hand start to sweat and I'm starting to shake in fright.

"Who- who're y-you?" I stuttered out, gripping the blanket that's still drop over my lap. She smiled at me softly and speak.

"I'm your Aunt Porsia, I'm your mother's step sister. You remember me, right?" She ask with that sickening soothing voice of her. Now I remember, she was there in the welcome party when we first got here but that fact doesn't ease my nerves. I'm still shaking and all I want to do is to got up from this bed and run off to where there's no single human being. I shakily nod at her statement then a flash of my previous memory of a silhouette resurface and I look up to her.

"Are you that woman? The one I saw before I passed out?" I ask, praising myself in my head for uttering a whole sentence without stuttering, she nod with a nod with a pained smile.

"Yes, I came by your house to visit my step sister but when I got there, there's shattered glass on the floor of your living room anf screams from upstairs can be heard. I immediately ran to where the screaming and when I opened the door, you were there with your mother. She's wimping you with a belt repeatedly. She's too engrossed on hurting you that she didn't noticed me. I grabbed a vase and smashed it on her head, enough for her to fell unconscious. I called the ambulance and sent you both here in the hospital. Also... I know you're still shocked at what's happening recently and you're still so young but I... want to ask if you wanted me to file a case against your mother for child a***e and neglect?" She hesitantly ask, trying her best to not trigger anything that may result for me to have a break down. I blink a couple of times but shook my head lightly.

"No thank you." I said and hug my legs close to my chest. I heard her sigh and wordlessly nod.

"I'll call the doctor to check you up then afterwards please go to sleep and rest, that way you'll heal faster." She said with a smile and walk out of the room.

I releases a sigh that I don't know I'm holding in and lay back down, adjusting to a comfortable position. Just as she stated, the doctor came and checked up on me then left me to rest afterwards. I lay there for a bit and eventually fell asleep.

• • •

I quietly walked home untill I noticed an empty lawn on my way. I walked up to it with a second thought but did it anyways, it's quiet and next to it is an abandoned crackhead house which is a bit aerie. I shooked my head and turned to resume my way back home.

"Quite a sight, huh?" A female childish voice said from behind. I turned to the direction of the voice and saw a girl, around the same age as me with jet black hair and silver eyes. A lollipop in her mouth and a soccer ball in her arms.

"Huh?"

"This lawn... It's always empty." She exclaimed after pulling out the lollipop out of her mouth.

"Who're you?" I asked but she only shrugged and walked passed the the ruined fences. She started kicking the ball as if playing football. I only watched her for a bit before she kicked the ball to me. I looked at the ball and glanced back at her, only to received a provoking smirk. I smiled lightly and joined her in the lawn, passing the ball back and forth for almost half an hour.

"That's right... I never knew her name...I wonder if I'll ever see her again."

• • •

It's been few days after I was discharged from the hospital and Aunt Porsia let me stay in her house for as long as I need or want to. Since she doesn't have any child and her husband died in a motor accident years ago, she live alone in a big house. She's really nice to let me stay in here since my douchebag of a father is nowhere to be found and mother is still in the hospital while she heals and because Aunt Porsia had my mother a psychiatrist to check up on her for her previous behavior.

I'm back in school once more and there's nothing really new. The bullying is still going and this time, it's not the girl who's their target but another kid.

Weeks passed by and mom was out of the hospital but Aunt Porsia made me stay in her house for good, in case my mother have another break down. Within those times, I started to notice this girl in my classroom, she looks the same with the girl I've played with last time but she never approached me and same goes for me, I never approached her.

Despite that, I really wanted meet that girl again. I just noticed that I've never feel any fear nor hatred to her when we first met so I thought I would meet her once more to be friends with her.

• • •

Years had passed and I'm seventeen years old now. I'm already on my eleventh grade in senior high school.

School Year 2019-2020, a new school year for the mighty castle in the mountain, PEQNHS. June 3, 2019. Today is the first day of school and as of now, the school grounds is pack with a lot of students with either the same motive as me-- finding their classroom or just walking around to kill time before the first assembly of the year begin. I look around my surroundings with discomfort but expertly not showing it. Silently walking to the assigned building for my grade level with my head facing the ground. I hate making eye contact. Moments later, I found my assigned classroom just in time before the assembly starts.

The first day was uneventful for me, at least. It's the same "introduce yourself in front" and "knowing you schedule" that I could careless about. Not really bothering to talk to anyone, let alone glance at any of them.

I just sat on my assigned seat by the window in the back of the classroom, silently. My headphones in and blasting music and leave the class to their own things while the teachers are still out to run some errands.

Just then, a girl with neck length black hair with hair clip in both side and brown eyes walk up to me with a sweet smile painted on her lips.

"Hey! You must be the foreigner student, I'm Claire Vargas. Nice to meet you." She introduced. I glance at her with my cold brown orbs then look back outside through the window. I've learned to avoid people and totally not show any reaction despite my fear so it wouldn't complicate the situation. Not even reciprocating the kind gesture of the girl.

Taken aback by my cold response, her smile quiver into a sad one, blushing out of embarrassment, she went back to her seat where she was bombarded with questions by her peers. I, on the other hand, continue block all the noises around me and aimlessly stare out the window.

As I was about to look away, a girl with back length, jet black hair walk pass the same window I'm in, by the corridor. At first glance, she look like an ordinary student but for me, there's something off about her. It's like I've seen her before but I just can't put my finger on it.

As my mind fly off to somewhere, trying to find the reason as to why I'm so curious about this specific girl, three boys come up to me.

"Hey dude!" Greeted the first guy. A tall, dark skinned male with a bit curly hair but not as curly as mine, it was styled in undercut and dark brown eyes. Next to him is the other two, one is as tall as the other and has straight undercut brunette with hazel brown eyes, skinnier than me and the other one is an undercutted ravenette, as tall as the brunette but as skinny as me, both if their skin is light brown.

Like with the girl, I only look at them then avert my attention back outside in hopes to see the girl again.

"Ang suplado naman nito." Said by the brunette, frowning a bit. I can understand what he's saying since I've been here since I'm seven years old. I glare at him at the corner of my eye and click my touch.

"If you have some problem with my attitude then f**k off. You're not welcome to interact with me anyway." I said in my deep raspy voice. The curly brunette grin at me and place one of his hand in my shoulder. I flinch at the contract and about to smack his hand off but he sat on the seat next to me.

"Parang nakikipagkaibigan lang naman eh. Galit ka na agad, hindi naman kami naghahamon ng away." He said and I brush off his hand from my shoulder and raise an eyebrow at them. Never in my whole stay here have I ever had a friend, let alone someone walking up to me and declaring friendship right in front of my face. I was sceptical at first but nod anyways.

"Castiel Grimm." I stated and look away. The two didn't seems to get the idea but thankfully the other one understand my intent and hold out his hand.

"I'm Jeffrey, Jeffrey Santiago." I accept his offer and shake his hand while subconsciously gritting my teeth to refrain myself from shaking.

" Kyle Zacharias. Pinsan ko nga pala, si Francis, Francis Roxas." Introduce by the grumbling one earlier. I nod and they took upon themselves to sit beside me and annoy the hell out of me for the rest of the morning.

Lunch came and Jeffrey's bugging me to come eat lunch in their small canteen. I sigh and agree and we're off to their house just by the edge of this mountain. The three of them grab their bag which left me to bring mine along.

When we got there, it's full of students in different grade level and sections which left me to froze in fear. Thankfully Jeffrey call the three of us to the side of their store where there's a table reserved for us.

The two immediately sat while I wait for Jeff to come. I'm not bias but I'm more comfortable with Jeff than those two idiots of a cousin. When Jeff came, we all start to eat.

"Say, do you guys know a girl with back length black hair?" I ask, hesitantly as we eat.

"Bat ba?" Ask Kyle while chewing on his food.

" Nothing much. I'm just curious bout this one girl."

"Ano ba naman yang tipo mo? Ang dami daming babaeng may itim na buhok dito." Complianed Jeff while a piece of bitten chicken in hand and frowning at me.

"Teka nga..naiintindihan mo ba yung mga sinasabi ko?" He ask to which I nod at.

"I've been here since I was seven. I know to speak Tagalog but I'm used on using English since my Aunt uses English at home." I said. The three of them nod and Francis turn to me.

"So ano ngayon ang gagawin mo pagnakita mo ulit yung babaeng sinasabi mo?" He ask that made me wonder but since I still don't know what's the answer to his question, I shrug and never answer.

• • •

For some reason, the teacher's let us go out and explore the campus yet we're still not allowed to go home. I subconsciously walk into the under construction building for our Track and a silhouette caught my attention. I walk up to it and there, stood the same girl I saw earlier. I was about to call out to her but she pull out a cigarette out of her pocket and lit it up. She took a drag on it and puff out the smoke.

I don't know why but watching the smoke stray away from her figure ease my nerves for a bit. I was about to head back to the classroom until I caught a glimpse of her eyes. The same eyes I saw back when I was a kid. Now I'm certain, she's familiar to me because she's the girl from my childhood. The one I've been hoping to see once more and now I'm seeing her again.

I turn to step towards her but a hand grab one of my arm and yank me backwards.

"Bawal dyan sira!" Yelled Jeff at me while laughing a bit. I glare at him silently and raise a brow.

"Why?"

" Kasi delikado. Ano ka ba? Gusto mo mabagsakan ng poste?" Francis ask. I shook my head and sigh.

"Tara na, mamaya mapagalitan pa tayo dito." Kyle said and start to head off. We all follow suit behind him but I turn my head back to where I saw the girl.

" I'll meet you soon...I promise."