Rendezvous at Silver Lining

Raphael’s POV: Screwed

I f****d up. I seriously f****d up.

FUCK!!

I tossed myself onto the couch in my office. I threw my head back and let out a loud groan. I heard a clack from a glass being sat down on my coffee table in front of me. I looked up to see James place a glass of bourbon in front of me as he took his seat. He had his signature smirk plastered on his face, but I didn't have the energy to be irritated by it.

“Soooo… how did you f**k this up. I mean… not only is she leaving the company but she found out about your last rendezvous with Sarah. She dumped you, and she dumped your company. It's even sadder because you couldn't even have her first before she dumped your ass.”

James laughed at my expense and his shitty ass comments were getting on nerves.

“Will you shut the f**k up!!! Do you not have an off switch?”

“Aye, get mad at yourself, not me. I warned you that she wasn't your typical catch. She actually has a brain, not just an airhead with t**s.

“Don't you think I know that!!”

I threw my head up, upset at what he was insinuating. Divinity’s mind is one of the things I like most about her. Of course, I knew she wouldn't be easy, but damn it, I wish she was just a tab bit slower every now and then.

“So why do it? And for the love of God, why must you always f**k that same woman! Look, you know me, and you know I don't do calling women bitches. But Sarah is definitely an anomaly for me because she's a bitch.”

James laughed but then fell silent. He took a good look at my face and took a deep breath and sighed.

“What happened, man. I thought you liked her. I thought that very long ass chapter between you and Sarah was done. Why do that to Divinity?"

I picked up the bourbon and chugged it, the alcohol burning my throat as it made its way down. I couldn't bear to look at him, so I kept my focus on the glass in my hand.

“I didn't want any of this to happen. It just did. You know how much I want Divinity-”

“Do you?”

James raised his brow at me to show his skepticism. I glared at him, getting pissed by the second. I couldn't really argue considering my history and the fact that I was just balls deep, repeatedly, in Sarah the other day… a day after having one of the best days of my life with Divinity. I groaned even louder and just collapsed on the couch, using the arm rest as a head rest.

“I just- You know how I am, it's just… I don't know. I f****d this up already. It's my f*****g d**k man. It has no control! I just want her so bad and knowing I can't have her yet, I figured it wouldn't be too bad if I double back for a quick snack, you know.”

James sucked his teeth at me, rolled his eyes and leaned back into his chair.

“That's bullshit and you know it. It ain't got nothing to do with your d**k. It has everything to do with YOU and YOUR lack of self-control. Would you accept that half ass excuse if Divinity was just out here f*****g someone else simply because yall weren't “there” yet? For a person who claims to like someone so much, you seem to be only interested in doing and pleasing yourself.”

I frowned at the mention of another man touching on my woman. Granted, I'm sure she's had lovers in the past, but the idea of it grates my nerves in a way it shouldn't. In all 4 years, I've never seen her with a man or even talking about one. I took a long, deep breath in and slowly released it.

“I know that. I'm not used to this… All these new feelings. Women just swarm me and want me regardless of what I do. I'm not used to dealing with someone like her. It's f*****g frustrating as hell.”

“Tell me what happened, Ralph.”

I looked over at him and he looked annoyed by me and my first world problems, but he still wanted to hear me out. I get on his case a lot but he really is a good friend to me. He calls me out on my bullshit and in a lot of ways, he helps keep me grounded. He seems really disappointed in me and I hate that look he gives me when he does. I turned away and rested my arm against my eyes and began to tell him the events of this week.

Flashback: Monday

I walked into the office around 8am and it's empty, other than some security officers since the building opens at 7:30am. I walked the hall that would lead me to my personal office and saw most of the lights on my floor were still off. I opened my door and went to my desk, sitting my briefcase down on one of the chairs facing my desk. I headed over to my coffee station to put a cup on when I realized there was some coffee already made. I frowned tryna figure out who made some coffee and more importantly, who had been in my office. I turned to go to the door and noticed a blazer was resting atop of the other chair that faced my desk. It was my blazer from the event over the weekend. I immediately calmed down and smiled.

Divinity must already be here.

I walked out my office and headed straight for hers. I knocked on her door and heard no reply, so I slowly opened it to find it empty. I stepped in and looked around.

Even her office is warm.

I'm starting to notice that she likes warm, natural tone colors. She had them all throughout her home and it trickled down into her office as well. While I was busy looking around, the door opened behind me and in came Divinity. She was beautiful as always. She pulled her hair back into a low ponytail. It was still straight from this weekend, just without the waves in it. She was back to her old ways, wearing no makeup, a regular white shirt and some gray leggings. Her shirts always went below her ass and she wore her glasses. She's gorgeous without having to try. She walked in with a cup of coffee and some snacks with her phone up to her ear.

“Yeah, I can come by. Is Wednesday good for you? I'm pretty packed before and after. Cool! Sounds great! Thanks, Damien… oops, I mean, Mr. Becker.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get over it. You're gonna have to be Mr.Bec-”

She stopped talking when she realized I was in her office watching and listening to her. She smiled at me and quickly ended her conversation with that bastard on the phone. I was irritated with knowing she speaks so freely with him and how comfortable she can be around him. We didn't have that rapport and I know it's my fault.

“Good morning, Mr.McCoy. How's it going?”

I frowned at hearing my last name again.

I thought we were passed this.

“Good morning, Ms.Loore. What happened to my name change?”

She made a confused face, and I smiled.

“I mean, you calling me El. Don't you remember? You haven't forgotten already, have you?”

She shifted on her feet and smiled nervously at me.

“Oh I didn't know you wanted that at work too. I thought it was more of a casual, out of work thing.”

I walked towards her and looked down. Without her heels, she's definitely a shorty compared to me, and even though she's thick, she's still small in comparison.

“No. I want that at all times. I want you to be comfortable around me. I already know you to be an amazing employee. Now I wanna get to know you as Divinity, and I want you to get to know me as El. The man outside of work.”

I brushed my fingertips against her cheek. I felt her shudder underneath my touch. She closed her eyes to savor the moment and then opened them again.

“Oh… ok.”

That was all she said. I smiled at her and picked her hand up and held it to my lips, and kissed it gently.

“Thanks for bringing back my blazer and for starting my coffee.”

“You're welcome.”

She smiled as she walked away from me and headed to her desk. I was about to leave when I turned back around to look at her. She looked up at me, trying to figure out what was going on.

“Are you ok, Mr.- I mean El?”

She looked bashful, saying El and not my last name, but all it did was give me a tingling sensation in my gut. Without practice beforehand or knowing that I was gonna do this, I blurted something out.

“I like you, Divinity… You know that, right?”

She just stared and blinked at me, I guess tryna process what it is I just said and if it was real or not.

“I guess I do now. I wasn't sure if you did or not, honestly. Do… you mean like… as a friend or more?”

I locked eyes with her so she knew that I'm serious about what I was gonna say.

“Definitely more. I'd like to try for something that is beyond just friends, of course, at a pace you're comfortable with.”

She didn't say anything for a few seconds, and those seconds had me sweating. My palms were sweaty, and I was nervous. I've never been nervous when it comes to women. There was never a need to be. But with her, I'm actually scared to hear the word “no”. Not because I can't take rejection, but because then she'll never be mine… And I want her. I didn't know if my feelings would be reciprocated or not, and that's a scary feeling. She smiled at me and nodded.

“Sure. I'd like that very much.”

My heart was on cloud 9. I smiled back at her and nodded. I left to return back to my office but I couldn't contain my smile.The day went by with ease. I didn't mind the meetings or the mountains of paperwork I had to do. All I could think about was my mi amor. Close to around 2, I was coming back from a meeting and was headed to my office when I saw Divinity at Sarah's desk. Sarah looked as if she had just won something, and Divinity looked pissed. She held her laptop to her chest, and I couldn't make out what she said. The moment she turned and saw me, I knew something was wrong. She looked at me as if I had just broken her heart. I didn't do anything, and what could Sarah have said to…

FUUCCCCKKKK!!!!

I began to walk faster to get to where Divinity and Sarah were. Once I was close enough to touch Divinity, she yanked her body away from me and stared me in the eyes. All I saw was hurt, and I knew I was screwed.

“Divinity, what's wrong?”

She made a scoff sound and looked me dead in the eyes.

“I'm what's wrong. I must've been sick in the damn head to have ever thought you could truly be interested in me. But it's cool… I won't be no more.”

She walked away, and when I reached out to her again, she dodged my touch. I felt so hurt by it. My pain turned to anger when Sarah opened her f*****g mouth.

“She's a f*****g i***t to think you would like someone like her.”

She walked over to me and touched my arm and I damn near knocked her over when I snatched my arm away from her.

“In my office, NOW!”

I was pissed. This dumb b***h had to have told her about our get together yesterday, that's the only reason for Divinity to be mad at me. Sarah came in behind me and closed the door. I had to take a sit because if I was anywhere near her, I would've probably choked her out.

“What's wrong? What I said is true, right?”

She looked at me like she honestly didn't do anything wrong.

“First off, what did you say to her?”

“She seemed a little too comfortable for me and so I told her she shouldn't hold her breath. That you were mine.”

I was seeing red by this point.

“Why did you tell her that? What all did you say?”

I was quickly beginning to lose my cool.

“I told her that you f****d my brains out yesterday, all day long. And that it didn't matter that you took her to the gala or seemed to be showing minor interest in her, that you want me and always come back to me. Simple as that.”

I wanted to snap the dumb b***h’s neck. Why the f**k would she say all that.

“Why would you tell her that? Not only did you talk about my private life with another employee of my company, you f*****g lied to her as well.”

I was beyond angry at this point. I just told her I wanted her and now it looks like I'm playing with her feelings.

“How did I lie? You did f**k me all yesterday.”

“You didn't lie about that part but about the part of me not wanting her and only wanting you. I don't want you! You are nothing more than a lay. And now you might have just ruined my chances with her!!!”

I was seething. Sarah looked hurt by my words but I couldn't care less.

“You don't mean th-”

“Get out!”

“But, I thought we-”

“Do not make me repeat myself. I said GET OUT!!”

Sarah left in a hurry and I sat in my chair hoping and praying I could fix this. But by Tuesday, I knew it was a done deal.

…

“Good morning, Mr. McCoy. I want to talk about my exit from the company.”

End of flashback.

I looked over at James and he was shocked silent.

“Damn. She really is leaving.”

“Yep.”

That was all I could say.

What the f**k did I do?