Jamila

Chapter 13

I remember when I was once an extrovert.That was a year ago.Yes, an extrovert and I fell in love with a bad

 boy who got killed and left me heart broken.He was bad and I knew it.He would always come back to our 

little apartment with bloodstains because he got into one fight or the other.I remember kissing his little 

nose which had a piercing in it.His tattoos was what made me want to spend a night with him and not to 

forget the scars on his face.Yes,we had many relationship problems we'd get into one fight or the other.and 

sometimes he would hit me and I would get bruises.My mom would always warn me about him and I would

 ignore,she'd always help me to bandage up my scars while she was crying.I knew I didn't love him ,it was 

just the endless nights we spent on the bed together.He knew he didn't love me, he was just playing 

me.Then one day he came home drunk with a knife in his  hand and I decided to let him be.He took more 

bottles of vodka and I didn't stop him till he raised up his knife and I just had to defend myself.He came on 

me and the knife was on my throat but I kicked him in his area and he fell down,on top of his knife.Yes,I had 

accidentally killed someone.But in self defense.It didn't affect me at first,he was already in the first stage of 

cancer and he was gonna die anyway.But if I had just given him a little bit of my love and correction,he 

wouldn't  have gotten addicted to alcohol and drugs.It would have been better if he died of cancer instead 

of me.The memories still give shivers till now.With blood on my hand and my boyfriend dead,I called the 

police and they had come to investigate.He had also smuggled some narcotics and I didn't know.I had 

 gone home with my bloodstained dress and rubbed it on my walls.It would remind me to never fall in 

love.Because I don't know how to love.It's just not me.From then on,life had been so hard for me.