BOUND TO HIM BY FORCE

36. MISTAKES PAID FOR IN BLOOD

I learned that if you keep a straight face, not even nodding your head, you get away with a lot of things. At a point, I felt so bad for Ajax because he was always confused about what to do.

When a decision had to be made, I did not know which choice to make. I just stared at him then turned to walk away. He was left picking and rushing after me.

It was the longest day ever. I confirmed shipments of things I did not even know. I overlooked the loading of containers in trucks, signed documents and attended meetings of different companies I was still to read about and my timer on all the documents was ticking, so I was just multitasking all through the day. By the time the sun went down, my mouth was dry, my head pounding more than usual, but I was happy because my list was done. I had gone through it all, not sure how, but I had.

We drove through the dark streets, as much as my brain screamed, my eyes were on the pages I was reading, trying with all in me to keep concentrated. The car slowed down, not even looking up until I heard a door open. My driver stepped out, which meant he was coming to open my door. My head picked up, my eyes taking all around us to see nothing at all, because the windows were so tinted and it worked at my disadvantage at night.

My door was opened, a cool breeze kicking in and sending goosebumps all over my skin.

I slid over the seat, stepping out, my bag in hand. My head turned, staring all around to see that we were at the side of an empty road. My body turned again, staring back with my driver walking off.

I followed after him, seeing that there were cars right before us. My heel clicked, it a good place to get murdered and never to be found ever again. I followed but at a safe distance. I walked past a black SUV and I already knew what was happening.

I don’t know why my heart began drumming in my chest. My head tipped up even more, pushing out more confidence than I had throughout the day.

There were two men standing as we reached the middle car and my driver turned to walk away, leaving me standing as the two guards opened the right back door of the car. The light inside of the car was turned on.

I closed my eyes to open them before stepping in. The seat was warm, the car was so warm which was welcomed as I shivered. The smell in that car just had me realize how hungry I was, but it also rose something deep in me. It smelled so good, he smelt so good.

The door was closed and I had not seen any of him besides his thigh as I had slid in. He sat at the other end, so still I would not have thought he was in there if I had not seen his lower body. It seemed he was not even breathing. The tension in the air just climbed to heights I could not bear for long.

The car lights turned on and it had me think that they had been waiting for a while.

The first car took off onto the road, then our car and the next followed. Since the lights were on, it lit up the back a little but, again, all I could see was his thigh and leg. My neck ached, snapping up as the partition went up, shutting his guard and driver completely off. Darkness fell on us again, so deep I could not even see my hand. I would not be afraid though, staring out the window where I could not see anything.

“ How would you rate the work you have done today?” A voice came. Words that were spoken as any would speak them, but from him, they sounded far worse than anything I had ever heard. They were cold. His voice was deep and from hell. A shiver ran down my body.

I knew it was not just a simple question, yet I would not panic over it.

“ Good. I think I did good.” I answered, confident in myself. I had been lost all through the day but I had done great. I was proud of myself. I was learning fast.

“ Three of the shipments you signed off were taken along the way, on a route you had picked. You put a thief back in power in my organization and lost me seven million dollars.” The man spoke again.

Do not be mistaken. He was saying all this so calmly yet it felt like a volcano was boiling over to turn me into stone. His words confused me to no end, wondering which route was I supposed to pick, since he had not told me anything, he had not relayed anything on what to do or gave me any hints on how to approach certain things. My head was as if it would explode.

It was better for me to stare out the window and just pretend he was not there. I would pretend as if I was listening while tuning everything out. My schedule was cleared for the day. I did not have to deal with him.

“ Nothing goes unpunished. Who do you think will pay for your mistakes?” The question was posed. As much as I would have loved to ignore his words, there was no way I could do that. It sank in me because I knew who would pay for it. I knew who would suffer for all of that.

Lights shone through as I sat staring out, not even sure what I was feeling, but more of me was dying.

I felt I could not breathe, felt I was suffocating, but just sat there. No tears, nothing.

The car came to a stand still. Azrail opened his door and walked out with me still sitting on my seat. His driver was already out so I let him open my door before slipping out.

I did not care where we were, I did not care what would happen to me during the night. I was just numb from then.

My feet moved, my eyes seeing him walk up the steps of yet another house, different from the one I had been to earlier. I could not stand there, I had to face what was waiting for me.

I walked up the steps, into the house, the lights so bright and blurry before me. His blurry back was seen going up. I followed after. Since in the last house, my things were in his room, I bet it was the same as in that very house. I walked up to turn, seeing two large doors which I walked through. My hands were shaking, holding on tighter to my bag.

I did not know what to expect.

With him, I did not know what would happen the next second.

Were we even sleeping there or were we going somewhere from there? I did not know. I was not in control. The doors were pushed open by me.

The room had more color than the last, stunning, but that was not of interest to me. I walked in as if I had a purpose. I did not want to show how confused and lost I was.

He was in the closet, its lights turned on. I moved to place my bag on the bed.

Where do I go? What do I do?

I had thought I knew what I had been doing all day long, but I guess not.

Should I ask? I was scared, but if he killed me for asking, then so be it? What was this life?

I took off my shoes, carried them by hand as I walked into the closet. My eyes fell on him and he was pulling out his watch. He then unbuttoned his shirt, his eyes staring ahead as if he was a robot. He was scary in ways I still could not describe. His concentration was scary. There was no way I could ask at that point.

He slipped the shirt off and I had never seen such clean skin. My head tipped away as I walked further in to bend as I placed my shoes down, next to the collection of heel pumps.

Was he taking off his shoes to change into something else and go somewhere or was he turning in for the night?

Why was life so hard?

I swallowed, do or die.

“ Are we done for the night?” I asked, my voice sounding husky, having to clear my throat as I turned around, only to quickly shoot my eyes down because the man was naked. I had seen nothing, I swear, just skin. My eyes had moved so fast as if being burned.

No answer was heard with feet moving past my eyes. I raised my head, staring at his bare back with him walking into the bathroom where he shut the door closed.

Well?

My hand to my forehead, sighing.

I shook my head, deciding to pull off my blazer. I hung it where there was space before wearing house slippers on my feet. I walked out to the room where I pulled out both my iPads and walked out of the bedroom. I was too tired to process well.

Did he have staff in the house? It was so quiet I would think not. I went down the stairs to stare around. It would make sense for the kitchen to be near the door, so, I turned right and walked until I found the kitchen. It was dark, it seeming as if there had been no one there for quite some time, thus no staff and no food. My day just could not get any worse, but how could it not because as I stood in that kitchen I could not help but painfully exhale because a kitchen always reminded me of my father and he was gone.

I missed him.

Cooking had been our thing. Nearly all my favorite memories of him and I being made in a kitchen. My feet moved on, the pain so deep. My iPads were placed on the counter as I ran my hand over it. It was cold but clean. I ran my hands all through the hanging pots over the counter to the large fridge which I opened after and it was packed along with the freezer. I peered through what was inside, seeing what I could make and so many dishes ran through my mind, dishes I had made with my dad. I missed him. I missed them. I missed his voice, his face flashing all through my mind.

It hurt so much because I had pushed it back, pushed their death back, because I had not known how to deal. I still would not be able to fully accept the sad reality of them being gone.

My hand pulled out all I would need. The pots were taken down, rinsing them then placing them over heat. I chopped my vegetables then poured oil over the pan to throw in my veges. The recipe came to me, moving faster, getting absorbed in it, wanting to make it just the way I used to with my dad. The kitchen had literally everything, so I was thankful for that. It was soon smelling just like home and it pulled out a sad smile because for that moment I could pretend as if I was back home. I could even hear the laughter that would be ringing all through the house as my mother told us all her crazy stories, siting on the counter with a glass of wine in hand while dad and I cooked. My brother would be creating a playlist which he would dance to all through as we cooked.

It tore me apart even thinking about it. I shook my head, wanting to put it all back in its box and tape it up forever to store it away. My body turned, taking out plates.

Should I plate for him? I wondered but I had cooked so much food, it would be a waste to leave it just like that. I plated two plates, not sure if to take it up to him, but why bother myself so much?

The plate was set down. I would take it up if he did not come down. I sat on one of the stools, my iPads opened to continue reading as I ate my food. It all went down fast, not having had such a good meal in a long time. It was good home-cooked food.

My head peaked up as a figure walked in the kitchen. His steps were so silent the only way I knew he was there being through his shadow. He did not even stare at me. It was as if I did not exist to him, as if I was not there, his eyes not even drifting my way.

I went back to what I was writing but stopped when I heard him pull a pot from those hanging.

“ I left some food for you.” I politely said, trying to hold out an olive branch, showing that I was willing to work hand in hand with him.

He did not acknowledge me or my words as he rinsed his pots then turned the stove on. My head bent back down, trying to read, but I could not help stare at him from the corners of my eyes. He never even stared at his plated food nor my pot on the stove. I took a deep breath, then went back to reading and taking notes.

He walked out of the kitchen, my eyes looking up to his pots then back to mine. I slipped from my seat. I took the plate I had saved from him and ate as much as I could only to spill the rest.

I looked for a container where I put the rest which had been in my pot. My pots were washed and dried, then I picked up my iPads to walk out from there.

I had to stop thinking it was we. I was alone in this world and I was just as disposable as everyone else to him.

My feet carried me to the bedroom where I took a quick shower. I wore sweat pants which were warm enough and a sweater. Socks were pulled up before I took my two iPads and went out of the bedroom. I went back downstairs, walking around to find a perfect place for me to camp all through the night. All my muscles were already protesting. The living room was the best and the rug would be good for me. I lowered on to the rug, leaning over the coffee table to continue reading and taking notes as fast as I could. My timer was moving fast and I was left with an hour.

Time had never moved so fast. I had not finished any of the documents. I had opened five of them but not even half way through any of them. I was rushing, not sure what would be the smart thing to do. I ended up opening all of the documents and reading through the basic information of all the companies, because I realized each document was about an organization or a company. I wrote down their names so I could research even if something happened to the documents.

The timer hit one with me staring at it. The iPad completely went black and I sat staring at it with a painfully beating heart. It rebooted in a second and began loading itself again. I quickly unlocked it to go straight to the files and I nearly danced but I would have celebrated too soon.

Another timer was there with eight new documents.

I felt as if my head would splatter. All the previous documents were gone and I had not finished even one of them. Another mistake I made and someone would pay, I just knew.

Soon I would pay with my own life.