BOUND TO HIM BY FORCE

18. I HATE TEARS

The knife was pulled back, his eyes locking mine with a lot of promises, promises of nothing but pain. I could not stop shaking, feeling as if my bladder would empty right there and then. My death flashed before my eyes and I could not grip even it. All blood drained from my body, the devil there to imprint on my soul. He had come to save me and I was bound to him. He had come to save me and I would pay the price.

I cried, wasting my tears for they were falling before someone who saw them as nothing but an irritation. My mouth opened to close, my head pounding, screaming at me to apologize, yet I could not pull the words from my throat. They were stuck as if I had just swallowed a towel down my throat. In my head, I was begging, yet before him, I was weeping. My tears irritated him; I could see.

The knife was pulled away, screams filling my ears, echoing like haunted souls burning in hell. Everything was too much, not able to process it all as I closed my eyes and just tried to block it out but I could not. My mind was finally throwing the towel, too much for it to bear. There had been too much cruelty for it to bear ever since the night I lost my parents.

His body moved from mine and as if he had been the piece that had been holding me together, I bent over the side, vomiting nothing but saliva which streamed out of my mouth to fall on a dead body. My eyes went wide, gagging over and over again with pale eyes staring back at me, nothing but blood all over the floor.

Everywhere I looked nothing but blood, so much blood my feet were drowning in it. I felt my body light, it to collapse. I felt it float, my eyes heavy.

My hands were the first to touch the ground, falling on a body, only for me to scream and scramble away. I tried to get up, my feet slipping on nothing but more blood, sending my body down.

I thought I would die, heaving and crying with bodies all around me.

A rough hand gripped my arm, tugging so hard I thought it would snap. I stumbled up, the devil dragging me along with him, his steps fast as I paddled with the only thing holding me up being him.

He pulled me down the steps, my body hitting hard, yet the pains were absorbed and dissolved by all the shock I was in. I was barely breathing, the flimsy dress I was wearing not hiding anything, it wet with blood that coated my whole being.

Azrail stood right before the chairs, right before the bodies of men scattered all over the floor. His hand slipped from mine, his grip leaving my arm burning hot with my skin red and bruised. I took deep breaths, shaking my head, trying to get myself together, but nothing was right. I stood up, my legs shaking, knowing I would collapse in no time. I was just daring myself to see, daring myself to look with nothing but horror, looking back at me.

My red hands came to my mouth, holding back the sob with bodies littering the whole place. The chairs were packed away, the men done with killing, leaving only those that Azrail saved and those that tried to run away. All the others that were dead, the men in suits cut them into pieces and threw the pieces into bags.

I turned around, burning so hard, burning so hard I thought I would bleed with tears coming from what I was seeing. It felt unreal, it all felt like a bad dream that would leave me traumatized for months. I could not stand such cruelty and raw murder. I was not meant for such a world.

Azrail turned to me, shaking my head because I knew he was coming for me. I did not want him to stare at me, I did not want him to touch me. He gripped my body roughly, turning me back around with his form behind me. He snaked his arms around my body, his touch leaving me silently weeping hard. It was rough but gentle, his hand on my neck, caressing me with my eyes closing, only for him to grip my jaw. My face was snapped back into place no matter how hard I fought. I could never win against him. I was starting to accept that.

Lord, please no.

I had asked for a miracle and it came in the form of my demonic husband.

“Open your eyes.” It was not a request; it was an order. As hard as I tried, as hard as I cried, my eyes peeled open. They fell on men hacking dead bodies and cutting them into pieces.

“Watch what you have done.” He said, every word leaving me shaking with my legs unbuckling, but his grip was firm, stepping closer to take my weight, having me stand where I was, watching something that would break me beyond repair.

The men that had tried running away kneeled, begging to be killed, begging for the men in suits to please kill them, but no one paid any mind to them and I felt afraid for them.

One turned, crawling, crawling towards us. He reached our feet, gripping Azrail’s leg to beg, begging for mercy. They had not known, if they had, they would not have come but it was too late. Their souls were marked like doors with red crosses, they were marked for nothing but brutal death.

The most vicious vultures in the world were being wiped out of existence and, somehow, I could not help but weep. I was weeping for my own soul; I was weeping for my own life. If Azrail could do this to cartel leaders who killed and drilled such fear themselves, then what was I? Who was I to think I could escape from him? Who was I to think I could have a normal life after him? Azrail was not a man you met and lived long to tell the story.

I found all my weight lying on him but he did not shift even a little. His hand fell away from my jaw, paying no attention to the man who was begging for nothing but death. What cruel man would deny another of death? I knew he was saving them for the worst and they knew that too, which left them in pieces, not knowing what would happen to them.

Maximus was weeping his own sorrows, curled in a ball, not even begging, just crying with mucus streaming down his nose. The others who Azrail had spared were no different.

My eyes closed, my head sagging. Arms came around my knees, strong arms that could carry the largest cow. My body was pulled to him, a firm chest with my hands gripping on his coat. I did not care; I was giving up the fight. He could take me, I was his, he could do whatever he wanted, I was faded.

My eyes closed to open, buried in his chest, taking whiffs of his cologne with my brain clinging to the only thing that seemed normal. The shirt was wet, my face smudged with blood, begging for sleep to take me so I could escape this world, even if it was just for a few hours. I felt him walk, so strong and so magnificent. He was like the fallen God, taking lives at his will and having those alive shake from his sight.

He stopped, his chest moving up and down as my ear listened to his steady heartbeat. It wanted to sing to me, singing to take me away from the world of the awake.

“What is your name?” I heard his voice, felt it from his chest as it rumbled. It was a strong voice, a voice for a man who could kill thousands yet thousands more gained to worship him.

A heard a cry, a young boy I could tell, heaving with no one to help him.

What had he gotten himself into, what had we gotten ourselves into?

“A…s…A” The boy could not speak, gagging on his own words while bawling his eyes out. I could feel him choking and I could not help weeping with him. He knew that if he did not speak, he would meet such a cruel fate.

It seemed Azrail was not in a hurry, waiting patiently with the boy holding his sobs, taking deep breaths, and speaking out.

“A…Ashe sir, Ashe…” He fumbled out, getting control of himself.

“Come here,” Azrail called, a shiver running down my body, scared, scared for the boy, scared of what would happen. I could not help but grip even tighter on the devil, him a source of my comfort and distress at that moment. It was funny how the brain works, seeing him as a devil and an angel.

My body was lowered, wanting to cry out and beg for him not to place me down, please. When I was in his arms, he did not seem so cruel, the world did not seem so cruel. But I knew my cries would do nothing but worsen my situation. I knew my judgment was coming, I knew my hell was coming. I was scarred by other people’s hell when mine had not even begun. But until then I would hold onto the little piece of normalcy I could find.

My feet hit the floor, cold and leaving me quivering hard. His left arm still held me as my eyes fell on the boy who was crawling his way through blood and bodies to Azrail. He stopped when he thought he was near enough, but Azrail called him even closer. The boy crawled until he was just before his feet, his head reaching Azrail’s waist, looking up at him with unshed tears filling his eyes.

Azrail extended his hand, it falling on the boy’s hair, which he brushed over and over. His hands were large, a ring worn on his middle finger with nothing but a red diamond on it. I swallowed, my own tears as if to choke me, clinging onto him as if he was my savior, but he was and he was also my hell.

“Do you remember what I said?” Azrail questioned, his voice low as always. He was wicked in the worst kind of way, his voice kind in the scariest way I could think of, making you feel safe, yet you found yourself shaking in nothing but fear.

The boy nodded his head over and over again, a few tears falling away, but Azrail was there to catch them with his thumb, wiping them all away.

“I want you to tell them. Tell them what I said and what happens to those that touch my wife and her family. Every cartel, every one of them, tell them. Don’t worry, they can’t kill you, tell them you are under my protection now.” Azrail said, nodding his head in a way to ask if the boy understood with the boy nodding in response, nodding so hard, already seeing the determination in the boy’s face. My tears fell. What kind of witchcraft was this? Nothing but fear coursing through the boy.

“And when you are done, come find me so I can kill you. The more you delay, the more people in your family die. Do you understand?” Azrail asked, with the boy nodding his head, more tears falling from his eyes.

“Shhh…. my boy…. I hate tears.”

AUTHORS NOTE:

Hi guys,

I just want to thank all those that reached out to me through comments, social media, and email. I love you all so much and appreciate you a lot. I am better and back. I also got into a relationship *smiles and giggles* too bad valentines day is over.

Love,

Tema