BOUND TO HIM BY FORCE

11. I WOULD RATHER DIE

“Where Brute?” I asked with wide eyes, but he just gripped my arm, sensing the fit I was about to throw.

“Uhm, sorry to interrupt but she still hasn’t got her shot.” The doctor said, but at that moment he did not even exist in my head, as I panicked, looking from right to left.

Sweat broke out on my forehead as my hand ran through my hair.

They could not get a marriage license that fast, I mean, it was impossible, right? I just had to calm down, maybe we were going somewhere else than to meet that evil man. I took deep breathes, my heart not taking the memo as it drummed as if to kill me.

The doctor took my hand, my body lucid, just moving in motion as I followed and slipped on the hospital bed when they said I should. I was not there, my mind miles away. I had to come up with a plan as soon as possible before it was too late. My eyes were wide, trying to wreck my brain, but nothing came to mind.

A sharp pain came on my arm, with me snapping my head to stare at my arm that was apparently getting a shot of something I did not even know what. It was blue and jellyish with the doctor pushing it in me. The needle itself had me dizzy, sure I would faint with the room spinning.

“Uhm…what is that?” I questioned, my head pounding so much even my eyes complained. That was the time for that massage, I needed it so badly, losing my sh*t right there and then.

The needle was so large the hole that would be left on my arm would make a mark that would forever be there.

I wanted to throw up, heaving as the whole liquid slipped in me.

“What is that?” I asked again, heaving with my other hand on my chest.

“Just relax miss.” The doctor said as I shook my head.

How could I relax? They were just doing whatever they wanted and injecting me with things I did not even know how they would affect me. For all I know, they could be killing me.

The needle was pulled back, blood just pooling out, so much blood. It trailed all around my arm and dripped on the sheets. A cotton bud was dipped over and over before the doctor rubbed something so cold on the injection spot, it mixed with the pooling blood, leaving his gloves red. He dabbed a cotton ball a few times after, and in seconds the blood stopped streaming out. My skin was cleaned then a plaster was slapped to cover the hole.

“Well, we are done. Thank you for your patience.” The doctor mentioned. Brute was already next to me, his hand on my arm, pulling me down.

“I have to change.” I shot out as he sighed.

“We have to go now.” He said as I shook my head.

The hospital gown was literally a dress but I needed to buy myself some time, I needed to think and, as of then, so much was happening, I could not even think properly.

Brute dragged me as I cried out, his hands nearly snapping my arm.

I held back, digging my heels into the floor.

“I just need to get my clothes.” I cried out, but he did not care. The tears filled my eyes. I could not leave my clothes; they were too important to me. I was trying to pull back but Brute was much stronger than me. I pulled, cried, and screamed, but he just turned to point a finger at me, then picked me up into his arms. I was fighting but he was walking away with no care in the world.

“Brute please, those are the only things left of my parents.” I cried out, I could not understand what was so hard with him just letting me go to grab my clothes, not even change anymore but grab them.

“It’s better you forget about them now than later.” He said back as I drummed my fists on his chest, but he was immune to my efforts, my skin burning hot, thinking I would faint from how scared, angry, and frustrated I was.

My body shifted and shifted in his hold. I did not even care if I fell and broke something, but I needed those clothes.

“Miss, Miss.” A voice called, feet running fast with my head snapping.

One of the nurses was running towards us and nearly falling with her heels clicking on the floor. My heart stopped, holding out my hands, but she was far. Brute was already in the elevator, having pressed the buttons with the door about to close.

How could he be so cruel? It was just clothes.

“Brute please.” I cried out, but he did not care, seeing the doors close the gap, the nurse still far off. My heart was shuttering so badly. My mother’s necklace and my father’s sweater. I would die for those clothes; they were everything to me.

The nurse threw them, my eyes wide as I saw them fly through the air and slip in just as the doors closed. How could I ever repay her, my hands having gripped the sealed plastic wrapping they were in. My eyes wrecked through and saw the jewelry and dad’s sweater. I held the plastic to my chest as the tears slipped. I did not know what I would have done if I had lost the only thing I was left belonging to my parents. It would be the last straw for me.

“DON’T, DON’T YOU EVER DO THAT AGAIN. THE NEXT TIME TO TRY TO TAKE THESE CLOTHES FROM ME, I WILL KILL YOU.” I said to Brute, hitting him over and over with the clothes until he let go of my body, but I was expecting it, falling on my feet and standing up with a hot slap echoing in the elevator.

His face turned red as if he would burst. He pushed me to the wall of the elevator so hard with his hand around my neck, his fist in the air.

“I dare you to try.” I spat out the words, staring into his eyes. I was not scared even in the slightest because I knew hell would break loose if he even struck me. He heaved, staring at me with such hate.

The elevator doors opened, he not moving and just staring into me, sure he wished to do so many things to me. I was waiting for them, daring him and boiling over in my chest for him to just do it, even just a little. I would show him wonders.

He snapped his head away and rushed to place his hand in between the closing doors of the elevator. The doors opened with him walking out. I stood there, my body shaking so much with so much anger I would burst.

I pushed up from the elevator wall, walking out and past him. He followed, my eyes going around the dark parking lot as my mind seemed to snap. A part of me was telling me to run, to run as fast as I could, but I knew he would catch me. It was futile because he would catch me and I would never have a chance again. He could kill me and say I was escaping, but that could get even him killed probably. I had to be smart, I had to think it through properly.

But what if I ran away and my parents were still alive? What if the devil could indeed help us find them? What if by running away I killed them? I had not put much thought into them being alive. It was too painful for me to think of them alive and suffering, plus, the Russians would not keep them alive for long, especially knowing their expertise. And if they were captured there was a chance they had escaped. I knew my parents well, together they were something else.

It was all confusing, not knowing what to do.

The door was closed behind me with Brute slipping on his seat to start the car. My eyes were staring out of the window, trying to figure out what to do.

My parents would turn over their graves, if they had graves, because of what was going to happen to me. It would break them more than anything. I could put them first or put myself first. I did not mind putting them first, but the only thing was, I might have been sacrificing myself for nothing.

My hand ran through my hair, wanting to be selfish just this once. I did not want to live in constant fear and abuse. I did not want to live the rest of my life suffering. My soul was already tainted, but how much more could I take before breaking? No school, no work, no friends, no fun, no happiness, no smiles, no birthdays, no laughter, just guns, and demise. Nothing but blood and hatred, hatred for even the man I was marrying.

I would be dead, my soul ripped apart.

Even with the hour passing, nothing helped my situation. My head just pound harder with my eyes aching so badly; a migraine, a cluster headache, and a tension headache all at once, just leaving me bent over my thighs. I needed the world to stop, needed someone to stop my life, just for a second, a single second so everything would go away and I could breathe. The tears came and were swallowed back. My hair was a mess, feeling like pulling each strand out until I was left bald.

Nothing could help me; nothing could help the stress and the pain.

The car slowed down and I did not even want to pick up my head to see where we were.

The engine was killed, not wanting to sit up.

Brute opened his door and slipped out, hearing the door slam hard, nearly having me wince. I just knew mine would open soon and I thought death was on me.

My door was opened as I thought it would, my worst nightmare. My nails dug into my skin, the pain nothing, just going unnoticed with the fresh breeze blowing in and sending my hair from my neck, leaving it bare. It was cool, no sounds were heard besides the silence that filled the area. It smelled of nothing but green. I could smell forests and I was sure there were a lot of trees around us.

“You don’t want to keep him waiting.” Brute said, a warning sent to me. My heart drummed, knowing what would happen if you kept the devil waiting, yet all I was feeling just kept me where I was.

Nothing would get me ready for what was about to happen.

My only options left, the only ones I could think of at that point was to try my escape. They would shoot me as I ran and I would fall to my death, but to me, that was a mercy.

The other option was to face the devil and sell my soul to him.

I would rather die.