Andy's Nightmare

9. Pool Fun

After her lunch at the diner, she wanted to stay outside and enjoy the fresh air.

Since the hotel had an outside pool area, she went to sit poolside. Andy took her laptop just in case she wanted to write while there. She was so glad that it was no longer cold outside. She used to like going for walks and sitting outside enjoying the warm weather. She hated being cooped up inside during the cold, winter months. And hated the past few months when she had no enjoyment when she went outside. She was in constant fear, watching everyone and everything going on around her.

As she sat there, a mom came out with her daughter to swim and play in the pool. Andy smiled as she watched them. They had brought a blow-up ball to play with. The little girl missed it when her mother threw it back to her the first time, and it landed near Andy. She guessed that the little girl was around 6 or 7 years old, with long blond curls halfway down her back, freckles all over and blue eyes.

She didn’t see a father with them, so Andy wondered if he was still in the picture or if it was only the two of them.

She smiled and picked up the ball and tossed it back to the girl. The little girl giggled as the ball landed in front of her and lightly splashed water on her face and beading on her curly blonde hair. She hid her face as if she was shy and slyly peeked around the ball to see if Andy was looking at her. Andy waved, and the girl hid her face again. She did this a couple more times before the girl turned and threw the ball back to her mom.

Andy smiled while watching the two of them playing in the pool. The ball came up next to Andy a couple more times, and she decided to have a little fun with the girl one time and throw it to her mom. The girl pouted playfully.

All of a sudden she found herself wondering what color of hair the baby would have. Would it be straight or curly? Would his or her eyes light up when they smiled? Would they be playfully shy like this girl, or would they be serious? Mom and daughter continued to play and splash around in the pool for quite a while.

She thought back to the talk that she’d had with Kim the night before. She wondered if the baby would come between them. Did Kyle usually work late like he did last night, or was it rare?

Would the baby have dark hair like Kim and Kyle, so that they wouldn’t have to tell everyone that he or she is adopted? Would they want everyone to know that they’ve adopted their child, or would they want strangers to think it’s their birth child?

Andy had grown up with parents who loved her dearly, yet still yearned for her father, who had passed away when Andy was only 15. She had memories, but she still missed him as she was going through her high school years and college. Her mother didn’t really date, or at least she didn’t let Andy know if she did. She was always home after work to help Andy with her homework and to fix dinner and put her to bed. She was also there to make sure Andy got up and got to school on time.

Once in a while, Julia would make plans for Andy to spend the weekend with friends without her even having to ask. She never thought much about it at the time, but maybe she was seeing someone over the weekend.

Maybe it was the loss of her father in high school that had caused Andy to be indifferent towards men during her school years. Or maybe she was just too focused on succeeding. Getting good grades in school to impress her mother. Then working to put herself through college.

She never faulted her mom for anything. They didn’t have a lot of luxuries that some of the other kids had as she was growing up. Those other kids had dads around or both parents worked. Andy’s mom always made time for her and made that time special.

Andy had a couple of boyfriends in school, but if they started to take her focus away from her school work, or if they tried to get too frisky, she would break up. Normally it was the latter. She had made a promise to her mother when she went through s*x ed in high school that she would remain a virgin until she was married.

She had never even been tempted to break that promise. Then this man took it from her all because he was on drugs. She didn’t know if she could still consider herself a virgin since it was against her will. Physically, no, she wasn’t one, but mentally and emotionally she felt like she was. But this was a conflict within her. And what would people assume when they saw her?

Her parents used to take her to church when she was young. During high school and college, Andy started missing days and weeks, then eventually stopped going altogether. She didn't stop going because she didn't believe, she was just too busy with school, or work when she got home.

She grew angry at God after the r**e. She didn’t know why he would have allowed her to go through that kind of pain. Her mom still talked to her about God, but it fell on deaf ears. Andy didn’t want to hear it. Andy still had the emotional and physical scars from the r**e, plus she had a baby growing inside her because of it. “Why would God allow me to go through this if he was such a loving god?” she’d throw back at her mom when she tried to get her to go back to church with her.

Andy decided that she’d had enough fresh air and went back to her room. But would smile when she thought of the mother and daughter out at the pool. They reminded her so much of her mother and her when she was growing up.

Andy had only been here a day and had already felt herself relaxing. Home felt stifling. Too many memories. Even though she’d moved out of the apartment, she would still drive past it during some of her normal daily routines, and it would bring up those memories that she would rather forget.

Her parents used to take her to the public pool or the lake on weekends when she was growing up. Andy found herself thinking and wishing that Kim and Kyle would do the same with this baby.

Andy had already decided that she liked Kim, although she hadn’t met Kyle yet. She saw that Kim had a love for children because of her work with them. She still wasn’t sure if she was going to tell them how the baby was conceived.

She was surprised at herself that she had already decided that she was most likely going to give this baby to them even though she had only met Kim in person and spoken to Kyle on the phone. Listening to her stories about the kids that she worked with, hearing her heartbreak over not being able to have her own, she seemed so genuine. And hearing how Kyle had been there for her during her schooling and through all of her struggles with the tumor and subsequent surgery to remove her uterus gave her hope. Kim told her that all throughout their ordeal, Kyle told her that he would support her with whatever decision she made. She said that he understood her desire for children of her own, but in lieu of that they would adopt a newborn that they could raise from birth.

Kyle wasn't the one who pushed for adoption either. This was Kim's idea because of her love for children, but she wanted to raise the child from infancy or birth, if possible.