Baby Daddy

Chapter Four

"I can't believe I'm engaged."

Maddie marvels at the diamond ring on her finger with a silly grin on her sculpted face.

"I can't believe you got Reilly Michaelson to actually put a ring on it," one of her English friends, Winter, pipes in.

Winter twists and turns my sister's hand, weighing the ring with her the sky blue eyes.

For some reason my heart clenches in my chest, aching by the minute and I find it hard to take deep breaths.

My shoulders feel heavier by the second and I sigh when I see a hopeless brunette with dark circles around her eyes nursing a baby. She holds her baby in one arm while chugging her third cup of coffee.

I gulp and think back to my appointment with Desiree and her casually telling me that I'm pregnant.

"You're technically rich by association now." Brenda gushes putting our drinks on the table as she sits down on the vacant chair.

"Well, I can't believe you really said yes to him," I blurt. When I laugh, I keep my head down feeling that familiar sting on the bridge of my nose.

I swear everyone has their eyes on me right now, I feel scrutinised.

How can I even say that to her? How can she accept his proposal without talking to me?

I read somewhere that acceptance is a process, and if that's the case I think it's going to be a while for me, considering how I must've bought half a dozen of pregnancy tests on my way home from the hospital.

I thought, maybe she got the results mixed up. After all, these things do happen a lot.

But then again symptoms and tests don't lie.

Maddie sits upright as Winter gives me an incredulous look. "Well what was I supposed to do Kira, reject him in front a thousand people?"

"Can't you at least pretend to be happy for her." Winter interjects. I narrow my eyes at her and she glares at me and it feels like she's seeing right through me.

Argh, I just need this to stop.

"It's not like I planned for it to happen."

"Yeah," I let out a dry laugh, wiping a treacherous tear on my cheek, "You never plan for anything to happen."

Yet everything still goes perfectly for you, I want to add, but my heart drops as I recollect the words that came out of my mouth. Just like me.

"Hey!" Brendy gasps. "What the hell?"

"Awkward." Winter sings to herself.

Maddie stays still for a moment, her brown eyes unblinking as she stares at me. And when she finally does blink, a frown takes over her face.

With my heart in my throat, I bolt up from the chair, attracting more attention than I'd like. I regret what I said and I wish I could take it back.

I'm taking my frustrations out on her.

I'm supposed to be looking out for her, but like always, I'm taking my frustrations out on her. f**k.

"Kira, you can talk to me," she finally says in the softest voice with utmost love and care.

Before leaving, I take a deep breath and look at my sister as it dawns on me. "I'm sorry, Maddie, but I have to do something"

I'm barely past the door when I dial the number at the bottom of my inbox.

It rings for what feels like an excruciating eternity but then goes straight to voicemail.

I look back at the restaurant I left Maddie in and a part of me wants to see her walk after me. But then she doesn't.

My hand is shaking when I decide to call again, my pulse is beating fast and my nerves are a total mess. I let out a breath of relief, a little panic still residing in me when he answers on the second ring.

"I'm pregnant." Is what I manage to say to him, followed by a series of instructions and a location before the call is ended.

I'm sitting in the reception at the abortion clinic, with my leg bouncing as I nervously pull my lip between my teeth.

The light red hue on the walls does nothing to soothe me and the advertising channel put on TV is even more annoying than the nurse calling us out one by one for the procedure.

I can't believe I'm doing this.

I don't know what to do or say when Reilly strides in looking confused like he just walked into the wrong building. Above all, he looks disturbed by the feminine colours around us.

I gulp and stand up deciding to meet him halfway.

"How are you?" He asks concerned. His voice is rough and strained.

I nod in response and mumble fine.

I sit back down with a heavy heart and he follows suit.

A minute of silence hangs over us.

"My doctor said I'm four weeks along." I glance at him then look down at my fingers. "So it won't feel as bad. It's barely developed."

I've been telling myself the same thing since I found out and each time doesn't make it feel any better.

"Congratulations." I nervously laugh then he blankly looks at me.

"If I'd known. . ." He trails off. He puts his elbows on his knees and brushes his neat hair back.

"It wouldn't have made a difference besides the point that Maddie is too young to get married." I nearly shout. I look around at the heads raised my way and back down.

Neither one of us has anything to say for the next twenty minutes. The room slowly empties with each dreadful minute.

"So this is your solution?"

"I don't have a choice." I tell him, feeling my anger grow.

Reilly then smiles at nothing and holds my hand.

"Whatever you want." He says, still smiling as he looks at me.

I bite my lip and contemplate my next words. "I want to have this baby," I hear myself say, "but not at the expense of my sister's happiness."

This could ruin her.

It will ruin us.

My eyes widen with the conclusion. I actually want this? Biting my lip, I feel my heart swoon at the overwhelming thought of motherhood.

It will ruin everyone. Madilyn; Reilly; me; their wedding; everything.

I smile at the thought; their wedding. My sister's getting married.

Reilly turns in his seat,"I won't tell her if you promise not to." He says.

My eyes widen and I shake my head,"I promise."

It amazes me how I don't even take a minute to think about anything when I reply, mostly because I was afraid to lose a part of me I was yet to explore.

Honestly, I'm not ready for the pain.

All this time I've been thinking about Maddie instead of what I want. I didn't even give myself the chance to think about the outcome of having this baby.

I sigh and smile grateful of the call I'd made to earlier.

After a moment, Reilly and I stand up and finally walk out of the clinic guilt free.

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It took me the whole flipping day to get my writing mood in place, at work, but alas here you go.

I hope you enjoyed the chapter

Thank you for reading.

♡︎ ☺︎︎