So Confused

Chapter 18

“E-Ekay?” he asked

I nodded and creased my forehead.

“She is…”

He paused and stared at me again. Suddenly I felt like getting my words back. I should have not asked. The way he looks at me, alam kong nagdadalawang isip siyang sabihin saakin kung sino yun.

“Its okay, you don’t have to tell me” I smiled and take a spoonful of ice cream.

What am I doing? I don’t like meddling with someone else’s business, and here I am asking questions. But the other side of me was telling me that Karlwin was not just someone for me.

“She is Lola Mira’s nurse. Lola has been throwing tantrums often. I’m afraid that’s why E-Ekay called me”

I raised my head and looked at him, he was looking at his phone that was ringing again.

“Go answer it, maybe Lola Mira needs you.” I said and smiled.

He bit his lower lip while looking at his vibrating phone and then hurriedly gets his things and went out the place. Just like that.

I told him to answer it, not to leave me… with his melting ice cream. And it makes me feel sad.

“Oy ate!” I snapped at the direction of the voice and saw Grant.

He was carrying a tray of French fries and a float.

“Oh kanino to? Natutunaw na, sayang.” He commented. Iniatras niya ang tray at nilapag ang pagkain niya.

I stared at the melting Ice cream ‘babalik ka pa ba?’ I mentally asked.

“Hoy!” tawag saakin ni Grant.

I creased my forehead at him “What?”

“Sabi ko sino ang kasama mo?”

I stared at him. Fck it, it was for Lola Mira for goodness sake Amelie Marie!

I just missed him. Hindi pa nga 30 minutes na magkasama kami tapos umalis agad siya. Walang paa-paalam.

“Karlwin” walang gana kong sabi.

“Sabi ko na eh! Kayo, nagdate kayo no? Sabi na at tama ako, yung mga tinginang ganon!” he said.

I don’t know why I felt tired, basta ang alam ko lang gusto kong maupo lang dito at manahimik, but Grant was here, talking about so many stuffs.

“So ano ate? Huli ka na, umamin ka na kasi”

“What do you want to know Grant?” I tiredly said

“Kayo ba?”

That question strucked me, before, kahit tinanong na saakin yan ni Kuya Nikolai, nasasagot ko agad. But this time, I’m confused. This dates, those sweet moments, yung mga sinasabi niya… and then that kiss.

“I don’t know”

“Huh? Panong di mo alam?”

“We’re not talking about it”

“Pero umamin siya?”

I nodded.

“Tapos?”

“tapos?” I asked back.

“Umamin siya tapos anong sinabi mo?”

“Do I need to tell you every single detail?”

“Ay ang taray. Kasi naman ate, bakit hindi clear sayo ang status mo, he is clearly dating you. What’s confusing you?”

I averted my gaze. What’s confusing me? I don’t know either, all I know is just that we have feelings for each other, we date a couple of times, we even kissed. But I think that wasn’t enough for me to jump into the conclusion na kami na. He never yet asked me if he could court me or what.

“Hindi naman siya nanliligaw”

“Ay ang hina naman ni Rivarez. Edi anong kayabangan lang pinagsasabi niya pag magkausap kayo?”

“Wala naman, hindi naman kami masyadong nag uusap ng mga personal na bagay.”

Sumubo siya ng fries at itinuro ang isang piraso saakin.

“Alam mo ate, masama ang pakiramdam ko jan kay Karlwin eh, I advice you to take it easy. Know him more before you give your self into a relationship with him”

Grant’s word was clear to me, but I can’t think of anything else but Kalrwin’ leaving me. Tumango na lang ako sakanya at kinain ang tunaw kong ice cream.

“One thing Grant, I don’t want anyone else to know this. Ikaw palang ang pinag sabihan ko. Ayaw ko lang kasi ng maraming makikialam.”

“Sure ate, madaldal lang ako, pero mapagkakatiwalaan to.”

“Swear on that”

“I swear, tahimik lang ako.”

.

I was about to go to school ng magulat ako sa tatay kong prenteng nakaupo sa sofa ko.

He is wearing that familiar calm face, sa sobrang kalma, kikilabutan ka.

“What are you doing here?”

“I’m just visiting mg favorite daughter.”

“Stop with your non sense pa, anong sadya mo?”

He got something from his pocket and threw it on my mini table.

“That’s your mother’s address. Puntahan mo siya at sabihing ikakasal na ang kuya mo sa susunod na buwan.”

I was shocked not by my mother’s address but with kuya getting married. Jade haven’t shared this to me yet. But there’s this side of me that is happy, after last week na sukong-suko na si Jade, finally my brother got his ball to be responsible.

“Why didn’t Kuya tell me?”

“That’s not my problem. Ang sadya ko ay yang address ng nanay mo.”

“Bakit hindi ikaw ang magbigay?”

With that, I earned a slap. I looked at him and he was grinning.

“I never want to see that face again Amelie. All the Devils know how much I cursed her.” He said and then left me.

I caressed my cheek. It’s been a year since I was slapped by my father I kinda misses it.

I picked the paper he threw and look at it. It was really an address, and to my shock, it was just a neighboring town. I look at the wall clock and was shock na 2 minutes na lang ay magsisimula na ang klase ko. I slid the paper into my books and hurriedly go to school.

When I arrived, zylea and the 3 ladies where laughing like there is no class. It’s a good thing na maayos na ulit si Maki, and to my surprise, para wala lang nagbago sa feelings niya kay Brent.

“Am I missing something?” I asked them

“Ay oo girl! Wala si Maestro Eborda kaya wala tayong pasooooooooooooooook” zylea screamed.

Tch. Nagmadali pa naman akong pumunta dito.

Umupo ako sa katabi ni Abi at inilapag ang gamit ko.

“Ay girl, sabi pala ni sir, ilibot na daw natin yung excuse letter para sa concentration.” Zylea told me.

Oo nga pala, in just 2 weeks, mag reregional meet na. I am super excited na medyo kinakabahan. I want to play in the nationals so I must train hard.

“Let’s fix it later.” I told her

“Amelieeee” Dane called me habang papunta sa spot namin.

Zylea was surprised and eyed me. Halata mong kinikilig pero mas lamang yung pacute niya.

“Dane”

“Gusto ko sanang sumabay na sainyo sa pagpapirma ng excuse letter.” He said and sat beside me.

I looked at zylea and she was giving me signals na pumayag ako.

“Of course, pinasabay ko nga ki Zy yung akin eh, if you want, sabay na kayong magpapirma.”

Dane frowned at me. “Your friend is creeping me out” Dane wishpered to me.

“Mabait yan, maingay nga lang. Pagbigyan mo na” I wishpered back

“She always do something impulsive whenever I’m with him”

“Crush ka kasi. Just be good to her, I promise, I won’t tell Eumie.”

He sighed and nodded. “Fine, mamayang 1 pm na lang tayo magpapirma”

After a few chitchat, Dane left kasi may klase pa daw siya. Zylea was smiling widely to maki, nagpapasikatan nanaman sila. I just silently chuckled as I watch them.

.

Pababa ako ng library ng makasalubong ko si Levian, nakasuot siya ng lab gown, at bagong gupit. Damn, he looks so fresh.

He was busy scanning some papers kaya hindi niya napansin na magkakasalubong kami. I initiated to greet first.

He looked at me surprised and smiled.

“How have you been?” He asked me. He removed his reading glasses.

“I’m fine. Masyado ka atang busy?”

“Yup, Dr. Sierra has been bombarding us with a lot of requirements.”

“Hmm. I don’t want to disturb you more, galing lang akong library tas nakita kita. You can do it” I said and smiled at him

“Thanks Amelie. Tinatapos ko na to ngayon so that kapag concentration na, makakapag focus na ako sa laro.”

I smiled again at him before I proceeded on my way home.

I reached for my phone to see if Karlwin had replied to me, pero wala. After leaving me in the food house, hindi na siya nagparamdam, I felt like I disappointed him kasi alam mo yun, hindi naman ako palatanong dati, tas bigla bigla akong nagtatanong. Plus, hindi siya nagrereply, I sent him 3 messages pero wala siyang reply.

I had been talking to Grant pero hindi niya rin nakikita si Karlwin sa school, parehas lang naman ang building nila, but our university is quite big, kaya kahit magka-department, mahirap din naman magkita kita.

I tighten my hold to my phone when the idea of calling him crosses my mind. Wouldn’t I look clingy if I call? Kasi malay mo nababasa niya naman yung message ko, but he choses to ignore it kasi busy siya, gusto ko rin naman siyang matawagan kasi I miss him and I want to ask about Lola Mira.

In the end, I chose not to. He’ll just tell it to me kapag nagkita kami, for now, I will just patiently wait for him.

When I arrived at my apartment, nakita ko sa labas nun si Jade. I hurriedly walk towards her.

She hugged me tightly the moment she saw me approaching.

“Finally I’m going to be your sister Amelie”

I hugged back to her and smiled.

We went inside to talk about so many things. Mabuti at maayos na siya, bumalik na yung sigla niya.

I went to my kitchen and sadly, ice cream lang ang kaya kong i-offer.

“Jade, hindi naman siguro lo-lobo masyado yang pamangkin ko, ice cream lang kasi ang meron ako.”

She smiled to “That’s fine, ngayon lang naman” She said

Medyo halata na rin kasi ang tiyan niya, sabi niya panganay kasi kaya malaki.

“So bakit hindi sumama sayo si Kuya?”

“He’s busy with your business, but that would be fine, he promised me that he’ll focus on me hanggang sa manganak ako, he just ask for a month to settle things.”

”Really? Hindi ba siya napipilitan?”

“I don’t think so, seryoso naman siya nung sinabi niya yun, and you know what Amelie? lagi niyang kinakausap ang baby namin, and it really makes me so happy.”

“Good thing Tita Lea approved na samin ka na tumira?”

“Ano ka ba? Matagal ng gusto nun ang kuya mo, matagal ko na siyang nilakad dun”

We both chuckled as we eat our ice cream.

“Kailan ba malalaman ang gender niya Jade?”

“The doctor said na, kapag 5 months na daw, so probably next month, I get to know my baby’s gender.”

“Wow, so, ano ba gusto mo? May naisip ka na bang names?”

She drink water before she answer. “Gusto ko sana babae. But whatever God will provide, okay lang, basta anak naming to ni Elyo. I’m thinking of naming her Zemira, if ever na babae, and Austin if it is a boy”

“That’s both a good name”

Kung mag kaka-anak man ako, I will give it science related names, para maiba naman.

“You know what Amelie? Sobrang saya ko. I feel so much happiness now, hindi ko alam kung dala parin ba ng pagbubuntis to, but, I know, I never been this happy my entire life.”

“How I wish kuya won’t mess with that happiness.”

“I’ll never let him again. This time, I’ll hold him by his neck. Hindi na pwedeng least priority kami ng baby ko.”

I held her hands and smiled at her. “I wish you all the happiness Jade”

She hugged me kaso hinaharangan na kami ng baby niya. We both chuckled at nagkwentuhan pa hanggang sa dumating na si Kuya.

“Aurelio Jose” I called him. Bumalik kasi siya kasi naiwan ni Jade ang sling bag niya dito sa loob.

“I know Amelie, I’m doing everything to learn what I need to learn”

“Good. Jade is just as precious as her name. Please take good care of her and your future baby”

“I know. We’ll be going” he said and left me.

I sighed and smiled. Thanks for finally giving Jade what she’s been working hard.