Hating You Was My Full Time Job

CHAPTER 15: GRACE'S FIRST WORDS

*October 2028 - Grace is 14 Months. James is 4 Years.*

They tell you about the first steps.

They tell you about the first birthday.

They tell you about the first day of school.

Nobody warns you about the first words.

Nobody tells you that one little sound

can break your heart and put it back together

in the same second.

Today Grace talked.

Today our house got louder.

Today Adrian Blackwood cried before 9 AM.

And I wouldn't trade it for anything.

*TUESDAY - 6:45 AM - THE NORMAL MORNING*

The house was chaos like every morning.

Adrian was trying to make coffee and failing.

James was watching cartoons with cereal in his hair.

Grace was in her high chair banging a spoon.

I was making oatmeal. Burned it.

"Morning," Adrian said, kissing my temple.

"Morning," I said back.

This was us. Messy. Tired. Happy.

*6:50 AM - THE FIRST ONE*

I was holding a spoon to Grace's mouth.

"Open for mama," I said.

Grace looked at me. Big brown eyes. Just like Adrian's.

She opened her mouth. Took the bite.

Then she looked straight at me and said:

"Baba."

The spoon stopped halfway to her mouth.

"Did you just..." I started.

Adrian was at the counter. He turned around slowly.

"Did she say...?"

"Baba," Grace said again. Smiling. Oatmeal on her face.

Adrian dropped the coffee mug. It didn't break.

"Oh my god," he whispered. "She talked."

James looked up from his cartoon. "What?"

"Grace talked!" I said. "She said baba!"

James ran over. "Say it again! Say baba!"

Grace: "Baba."

*7:00 AM - THE PANIC*

Adrian was on the floor in 2 seconds.

"Say it again, princess. Say baba."

Grace giggled. "Baba!"

Adrian looked at me like he was going to pass out.

"That was a real word. That wasn't babbling. That was a word."

I was already crying. "I know."

James was jumping. "My sister talks! My sister talks!"

*7:05 AM - VIDEO ATTEMPT #1*

Adrian grabbed his phone. Hands shaking.

"Okay, say mama. Can you say mama?"

Grace: "Baba."

Adrian: "Say dada."

Grace: "Baba."

Adrian: "Say more."

Grace: "Baba."

Adrian looked at me. "She's saying baba for everything."

"She's 14 months," I laughed. "That's how it starts."

*7:10 AM - CALLING GRANDMA*

Adrian put it on speaker while he paced the kitchen.

"Mom. Mom. Grace said baba."

3 seconds of silence.

Then: "WHAT?! I'M COMING OVER RIGHT NOW!"

Click.

Adrian looked at me. "She's going to be here in 20 minutes."

*7:30 AM - GRANDMA ARRIVED*

Adrian's mom came in with coffee, donuts, and tears already in her eyes.

"Where is she? Where's my talking granddaughter?"

Grace saw her and smiled. Held out her arms. "Baba!"

His mom burst into tears. "She said it! She said baba to me!"

*8:00 AM - THE WORD EXPLOSION*

It started after that.

Grace: "Baba."

Me: "Mama?"

Grace: "Baba!"

Grace: "Dada."

Adrian: _falls to his knees_

Grace: "Dada!"

Grace: "More."

James: "SHE SAID MORE! DID YOU HEAR THAT?!"

*8:30 AM - JAMES BECOMES TEACHER*

James dragged his toy box to the living room.

"Okay Grace. Class time."

He held up a ball. "Say ball."

Grace: "Baba."

James: "No. Ball. B-A-L-L."

Grace: "Baba."

James looked at me, serious. "She only knows baba. We need to teach her more words, Mama."

*9:00 AM - ADRIAN'S PHONE WAS MELTING*

He was texting everyone.

Board Member: "Congratulations"

Assistant: "She's ahead of schedule"

Lily: "I'M SOBBING"

My sister: "SEND VIDEO NOW"

He showed me his notes app.

"October 8, 2028 - Grace's First Words"

Under it he wrote: 1. Baba 2. Dada

*10:00 AM - LUNCH*

Grace ate and talked.

"Baba. Dada. More. Up."

Adrian fed her and repeated every word.

"Yes! More! Up! Good girl!"

*11:00 AM - NAP TIME*

Grace went down. Finally.

Adrian and I collapsed on the couch.

"She's talking," Adrian said.

"I know," I said.

"James said his first word at 12 months."

"I remember."

"We're late," Adrian joked.

"She's perfect," I said.

Adrian pulled me into his lap. "We're doing okay, huh?"

"We're doing better than okay," I said.

*1:00 PM - THE BREAKTHROUGH*

I was rocking Grace. She was fussy.

"Shh. It's okay, mama's here."

She stopped crying. Looked at me.

"Mama."

Clear. Perfect. Mama.

I froze.

"ADRIAN!" I yelled.

He came running from his office. "What? What's wrong?"

"She said mama. To me. She said mama."

Adrian took her from me. "Say it again, princess."

Grace smiled at him. "Mama."

Adrian started crying. Real tears.

"That's it. That's my girl."

*1:05 PM - VIDEO PROOF*

This time we got it on camera.

Me: "Can you say mama?"

Grace: "Mama."

We sent it to everyone immediately.

*1:30 PM - ADRIAN'S TURN*

Adrian sat on the floor with her.

"Grace. Say dada."

Grace crawled to him. Put her hands on his face.

"Dada."

Adrian broke. "I heard it. She said dada to me."

He held her for 10 minutes and didn't let go.

*2:00 PM - THE LIST WAS GROWING*

By dinner she had 5 words.

1. Mama

2. Dada

3. Baba

4. More

5. Up

Adrian wrote them in a notebook. Dated it.

"October 8, 2028 - Grace's First Words"

He showed it to me like it was a million dollar contract.

*3:00 PM - DINNER*

"More," Grace said, banging her tray.

"Up," she said, reaching for Adrian.

Adrian picked her up. "Did you hear that? She's talking to us."

*4:00 PM - BATH TIME*

Adrian was in the tub with her.

"Wash. Water. Dada."

Grace splashed and said "Baba!"

Adrian looked at me from the bathroom. "She's going to be so smart."

"She already is," I said.

*5:00 PM - BOOK TIME*

Adrian pointed to pictures. "What's this?"

"Dog!" Grace said.

"What's this?"

"Baba!"

Close enough.

*6:00 PM - BEDTIME*

Lights out. Adrian rocked her.

"Goodnight, princess."

"Dada," Grace whispered.

Adrian kissed her head. "Goodnight, mama's girl."

*WEDNESDAY - THE NEXT DAY*

Grace woke up talking.

"Mama! Dada! Up! More!"

It was like someone flipped a switch overnight.

*WEEK 1: THE VOCABULARY EXPLOSION*

New words every day.

Ball. Dog. Book. James.

She said "James" and James lost his mind.

"She said my name! She knows me! I'm her brother!"

*WEEK 2: TWO WORDS*

"Up dada."

"More milk."

"Mama come."

Adrian recorded everything. His phone storage was 90% Grace videos.

*THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN JAMES AND GRACE:*

*WITH JAMES:*

We missed his first word. We were so tired. So scared.

No video. No pictures. Just a memory.

*WITH GRACE:*

We caught every single one.

We have 50 videos.

We cried for all of them.

*ADRIAN'S GUILT:*

One night after the kids were asleep he said to me:

"I feel bad. That we have more time for Grace. That we're more present."

"Don't," I said. "We're better parents now. Because we had James first."

Adrian nodded. "You're right. James made us ready for her."

*JAMES' ROLE:*

He became the best big brother.

Taught her words. Taught her games. Protected her.

"That's my sister," he'd tell people. "She's smart like me."

*MONTH 1: 20 WORDS*

The pediatrician was impressed. "She's advanced," she said.

Adrian: "Takes after her dad."

Me: "Takes after her mom."

Doctor: "Takes after both of you."

*MONTH 2: THE FIRST SENTENCE*

"I want up."

3 words. In a row.

Adrian called his board members. "My daughter just spoke in full sentences."

They were confused. He didn't care.

*ADRIAN LAST NIGHT:*

He was reading to Grace.

She pointed at the book. "Dada read."

Adrian closed the book. "Did you just tell me what to do?"

Grace nodded. "Dada read."

Adrian laughed and opened the book. "Yes ma'am."

*ME LAST NIGHT:*

Grace crawled into our bed at 3 AM. "Mama. Cuddle."

I pulled her in. Adrian put his arm around both of us.

This is what I prayed for.

*TODAY:*

Grace is talking nonstop. James is translating for her.

Adrian is filming. Always filming.

*THE TRUTH ABOUT FIRST WORDS:*

They're a big deal.

Because they mean your baby is becoming a person.

And you have to let them.

Even though it hurts because it means they're growing up.

*ADRIAN TO ME THIS MORNING:*

He kissed me while Grace ate breakfast.

"Remember when it was just us?"

"Yeah."

"Remember when it was just James?"

"Yeah."

"I like this version best."

*ME TO ADRIAN THIS MORNING:*

"I like this version too."

*GRACE TODAY:*

She's running around. Saying everything.

"Mama look! Dada see! James play!"

*LAST THOUGHT:*

We waited for James' first words.

We waited for Grace's first words.

Now we wait for

"I love you"

and "I'm okay"

and "Come home."

And we'll be here for all of them.

James.

Grace.

Adrian.

Me.

Talking.

Learning.

Growing.

Together.

END OF CHAPTER 15