BAD

Fresh Start

Jo-Ale Rivers

    I straightened the last section of my long black hair and watched as it falls into place; I stood there for a while admiring my appearance. My hair was pin straight, I wore my fitted black long-sleeved crop top that stopped right above my belly button, showing off my emerald navel ring. I paired that with my black and very distressed high-waisted shorts, then finished off with my jet black ankle boots with gold buckles on them. My makeup was done to perfection, and I added a little bit more eyeliner to make my green eyes pop out more. I stared into my eyes and frowned. 

    They're just like his.

    It's a memory that will haunt me forever, and I wish I could just forget it all already. I spent so much of my time going to therapy, taking medications, and yet still every time I star deeply in my eyes, all I see is chaos. Disregarding the sudden turmoil building up in my chest, I grabbed my black messenger bag and shoved my phone into the little front pocket. I grabbed my black leather jacket from off the chair by my vanity and headed out my bedroom door. I looked back at my messy bed and grimaced. Just the mere sight of it made my heart feel extremely heavy. 

    As I descend the stairs, I couldn't help but notice how quiet it was. It's already 7:30 in the morning, the housekeeper should have been here by now. I wonder if stupid Teresa fired her already out of pure jealousy. The woman is unquestionably vile. I walked into the kitchen and sat on the counter-top and grabbed an apple. I took a bite and chewed slowly. Maybe she had enough sense to quit and escape this dreadful household. Either way, she's better off not working for this family. No one is. 

    I remember a time when my views used to be different, back when I wasn't so miserable. Everything seemed like it would last forever; I truly believed that it was my world and everyone else was just living in it. But as you grow older, the more you wish your innocence would remain so you wouldn't know the horrors of this world. But what's even more tragic is when you're the reason for the loss of your own innocence. I looked down at the tattoo on my wrist that I had gotten a couple of weeks ago. It was a small infinity symbol with the words 'love' and 'Liam.' I gently traced my fingers over the engraving and just stared. How did everything get so f****d up?

    Shaking off the thoughts of my past, I hopped off the counter and head out the door, off to school. As I pulled slowly into the school's entrance I noticed that a lot of kids drive to school Great, finding a parking spot should be fun. I rode into the parking lot and I noticed that I was getting a lot of stares. It's probably because most people drive and not ride to school. I just picked a random spot close to the building so it's easier for me to get in and get the hell out!  I hopped off my bike and unclasped my helmet and took it off of my head. I shook my hair and ruffled it a couple of times because I was not going to be walking around all day with helmet hair. If I thought people were staring before, I was wrong now. Everyone was looking at me as if I just committed a crime. 

    A girl began to approach me. 

    "Hey, you can't park there!" I took in her appearance. She looked like your ol' stereotypical wannabe. She was wearing a plaid miniskirt and a white tank top that she paired with white kitten heels and a jeans jacket. What is this? 2005? Whoever told that she looked cute was lying to her.

    "And Why not?"

    "Because that's Leanna's parking spot,"

    "So?" I said and she looked taken back. I guess she didn't expect that response.

    "So you better move your stupid bike!" She sneered.

    "Listen here you cheap little Barbie," I growled. "I don't know who you think you are and I don't really care. I park where ever I want. It could be reserved for all I care!"

    "It is reserved!" she fired back. "Look, i***t!" I decided to let the pathetic little comment slide and I looked to where she was pointing. It was a little sign stuck into the ground with some blonde chick on it. It read: Reserved For Leanna Fisher.

    "You're joking right?" No one said anything and the Barbie wannabe smirked at me. I bet she thought she won, but it's not over till I say so. I marched right over to the sign and stomped it to the ground. I let out a sigh of happiness. "There. Now it's not reserved anymore." I smiled at her; she just glared at me.

    "Just you wait until Leanna gets here!" she huffed. "She will deal with you!" I  laughed dryly. This girl can't be for real! 

    "What is she? A dictator?" I joked and fake Barbie just glared at me. "Well, you can give little Breanna a message for me..."

    "It's Leanna!" she snapped.

    "Whatever. Tell her I said...." I held up both my middle fingers in her face. Everyone outside started snickering and giggling.

    "I don't think you understand...I haven't seen you around before so I'm guessing you're new. But let me give you a warning, this is my school and you better think twice before you wanna mess with us," she threatened.

    "Okay, first of all, get the f**k out of my face. And secondly, you don't scare me."

    "But you should be afraid." I rolled my eyes and pushed past her; this is just a waste of time. I stopped and turned around when I realized I didn't even give her my name. "Oh, and by the way, the names Jo-Ale. Jo-Ale Rivers. If you're going to spread rumors, which I'm sure you are, might as well get my name right." I smirked at her before walking away.

     All my classes went by uneventful, to say the least. People kept staring at me but they'd look away when I look back at them. But there was this one guy though, he kept glaring at me. He was really hot, I'm not gonna lie, but he seems like the cocky type to me. I think his name was Tyler. 

    I stepped into the cafeteria and the scene was pretty chaotic. It's been a while since I've been in one of these, I almost forgot what it was like. I sat down at an empty table and plopped my feet on the table. My phone buzzed in my bag and I pulled it out to see that I have a text. I inwardly groaned when I saw the number it was from. It was her again. My ex-best friend Abigail. Apparently, she has this so-called revenge plan to make me regret ever being born, and blah, blah, blah. 

    Don't think it's so easy to forget about your old life. I will always be a reminder to you, never forget that. The text read. I rolled my eyes, Oh please, like I give a f**k,  I typed back, but she didn't respond back. I looked up to see that the table in front of me was packed with people. But, these weren't your everyday average Joe's. By the looks of them, you can tell that they were just a bunch of stuck-up rich kids. I would know, I used to be one of them. My eyes locked gazes with the guy that glared at me in class. Tyler. He was glaring at me just like earlier today. My eyes travel throughout the table until one person, in particular, caught my attention. She was your average queen bee. Long blonde hair, blue eyes, and cheerleader uniform. I shook my head in disappointment. This school really loves to keep up with the stereotypical trends. I guess this must be the famous Leanna Fisher, she doesn't seem all that to me. Out of nowhere, that same girl from earlier today approached her and whispered something in her ear; she looked at me and began heading my way. 

    This should be interesting.

    "Hi," She greeted.

    "Hello," I greeted back, with a smirk on my face.

    "You're the new girl, right? Jo something?...." She spoke innocently, but the condescending look on her face told no lies.

    "It's Jo-Ale...and who might you be?" I quirked an eyebrow at her. Her eyes widened a bit and she plastered a smile on her face.

    "I'm Leanna. Leanna Fisher." She stated, "But of course everyone knows that," she quickly added.

    "I didn't." I challenged.

    "It's probably because you're new," she assured, "I don't expect you to know everyone,"

    "I wouldn't care to know your name even if I wasn't," I said as I leaned back in my chair and folded my arms behind my head. "You don't seem all that interesting,"

    "Right," she forced a smile "well it was nice to meet you," She said, and headed back to her table. 

    "Bye Breanna." I sang, she turned around and slightly narrowed her eyes at me.

    "It's Leanna." 

    "I know," I said, and she smirked at me with a slight chuckle before walking away.

Two Years Later.........

    "Get out of my face," he spat.

    "If I'm not mistaken, you were the one who approached me," I said to him.

    "Fine then, give me back the stupid scalpel!"

    "No," I smiled at him.

    He groaned in annoyance, "God, you're so annoying!"

    "Listen here James, I don't like this pairing as much as you do. Might as well I just enjoy myself making you miserable." James is one of the guys that hangs with Leanna Fisher. He is so stupid it's hard to believe he is in AP Bio with the rest of us. He has a pathetic crush on her and it is disgustingly obvious. The i***t does everything Leanna says, he's literally her b***h.

    "James you wanna join our group?" Leanna called to him. "I'm sure you're having a wonderful time with the Queen b***h over there," she said as she locked eyes with me.

    "f**k off Barbie!"

    "Jo-Ale!" The teacher gasped. "Language!" 

    "So you're telling me you didn't hear her when she called me a b***h?" I said and her eyes widened.

    "It's not like it's a lie!" Leanna fired at me; I raised both my hands and flipped her off.

    "That's enough Jo-Ale! To the principal's office, now!"

    "That's what she gets," Leanna comments.

    "Shut the hell up b***h!" I hissed at her.

    "Jo-Ale!" Ms. Palmer hushed me. "Wait here, I'll call a hall monitor to come to escort you to the principal's office."

    "It's fine. I can escort myself." I fanned her off and walked out of the classroom.

    "Jo-Ale get back here this instant!" I ignored her a kept walking. I don't know why she even bothers, if I never listen to them two years ago what makes them think I'm going to listen to them now. I barged into his office regardless of the secretaries' cries and took a seat right in front of him.

    "I'm sorry but she just wouldn't listen," she apologized. 

    "It's fine Ms. Walwartz," He said, she glared at me and exited the office, closing the door behind her. 

    "Now, what can I do for you on this fine day Ms. Rivers?" he asked. I slid down in my seat and rested my leg on one of the armrests of the chair. 

    "Nothing really," I examined my nails, suddenly finding them interesting. "I'm just here to turn myself in, Brown."

    "Put your foot down," he scolded, "and what is it this time?" he sighed.

    "Nothing big, I cursed in class, flipped Leanna off," I said nonchalantly.

    "Jo-Ale," he sighed "you can't keep coming in here. I'm tired of giving you detention slips, you know colleges look at those things," I rolled my eyes, not this speech again.

    "Look, Brown, I don't need to worry about college, my grades are fine, you and I know that."

    "It doesn't matter, colleges are not looking to enroll delinquents in their school.," I rolled my eyes."Think about your future." And my eyes just kept on rolling.

    "I don't care, my future is fine. And, maybe I just don't want to go to college."

    "You're a very intelligent girl, you're in AP classes, you're grades are unbelievable! With grades like yours, any school would be lucky to have you! Hell, your intellectual skills are way above high school level, you should be in college right now but you make too many poor choices! Think of what you're doing, you have a very bright future, don't throw it away!"

    "My future is secure. My daddy will make sure everything is fine."

    "You can't keep relying on your parents for everything-"

    "You're not complaining when you rely on my parents for your pretty little donations. If you're not going to give me detention, then I'm leaving."

    He sighed and ran his hands down his face. "Listen, I'm not going to give you detention, this time, and I don't want to see you back in here, but I do want you to keep in mind that this is your last chance-"

    "You think I don't know that!" I snapped getting defensive.

    "I think you're losing sight of that,"

    "I know what I'm doing,"

    "You are twenty years old and still in high school, I don't think you do. And that's just me keeping it real." For once, I had nothing to say. That's because it's true, I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing here. I walked out the door and slammed it behind me. The secretaries looked at me and I gave them all nasty looks and stormed out of the office. When I made it halfway down the hallway the bell rang.

    "Just f*****g great," I mumbled. I still have to get my stuff from bio, I was so happy to walk out on Ms. what's-her-face, I totally forgot about everything. I mumbled curses all the way back to the classroom, I really didn't want to go back there.  However, I was stunned when I walked into the class and saw Tyler Lawrence. He doesn't have bio this period, we have lunch. What is he doing here? I slowly walked into the class praying that I looked somewhat decent, I didn't even get a chance to look in the mirror before I walked out of the house this morning because I was running late. He looked at me and I swear my heart stopped, he looked away and so did I, bashfully. I hate that I feel this way about him. I don't even know why I like him in the first place. He hates me! He does nothing but glare at me all the time. That should have been a major red flag that I wouldn't have a chance with him but unfortunately, my heart can't take a hint. I frowned and began collecting my things, I was about to walk out the door when Ms. Palmer stopped me.

    "You missed the lab, Jo-Ale. I expect to see you post-session today?" she asked, but it sounded more like a requirement.

    "Sure," I smile, before walking out the door. Like hell, you will! I was at my locker putting away my books and binder when Tyler approached me. 

    "Hey," he said.

    "What do you want Lawrence?" I said in a bored. He doesn't know I like him, and it doesn't help that I'm rude to him a hundred percent of the time. I know, that's really dumb, but I can't afford to form attachments with anyone here. If there's one thing I know for sure, I always end up hurting anyone that comes near me. 

    "Since you and I both missed the lab and we have to get it done at post, Ms. Palmer paired us together."

    "You've got to be f*****g kidding," I said before finally looking at him. "She's got to be out her crazy mind!" I noticed how his dark lashes made his eyes so intense, it was almost impossible not to get lost in them.

    "Listen," he stated, "I don't like this pairing either so I just want to get one thing straight with you. I'm not trying to get an F on this thing so you better show up and do the work, and we won't have any problems."

    "I don't appreciate how you're making me seem like some kind of a slacker. I'll be there so just shut up and get on your way," I fanned him off.

    "Don't talk to me like that,"

    "I'll talk to you however I feel like it, and right now you're getting really annoying so bye!" I said as I went back to ransacking my locker.

    "You might think you're the hottest thing to walk through these halls but I'm telling you you're wrong. You're nothing."

    "And you're still here talking to me, why?" I gave him a dull look.

    "You're such a b***h," he said, before walking off. An ache formed in my chest as I watch him walk away, and sighed to release some of the tension in my body. I just don't want to be anybody else pain. 

    I didn't even bother staying after school to make up that lab. After lunch ditched school for the rest of the day, I was feeling too depressed to be around anyone. I was now home in my bed just staring at the white ceiling, it's the only thing that calms my chaotic mind. The responsible thing would be to take my medication, so I can at least say I know for sure they don't work, but the toxic part of me enjoys the pain I bring myself; because I can't feel that, I don't think I can feel anything else.

    "Jo-Ale," I looked to the door, it was my Dad. My mood automatically got better. My father travels for work and has been away for a few months now. We are very close, he is probably the only person in this world that makes me want to be better than who I am now. He was not supposed to be back until later this week so you could only imagine what a surprise this is for me

     "Daddy!" I jumped off the bed and into his embrace.

    "I decided that I want to surprise my favorite girl! Shhh, don't tell your mother," he smiled.

    "As if she'd care," I mumbled. Mother dearest and I do not have the best relationship. She prefers my little brother Liam, well, she used to.

    "I see things have been a bit rough for you,"

    "Hmm?"

    "I saw you staring at the ceiling. What's going on?"

    "Please don't get me started,'" I said and went back to laying on my bed.

    "What was it this time? Leanna?" I shook my head. "Tyler?"

    "Something like that..."

    "You already know what I'm going to say,"

    "Yeah, yeah I know."

    "It's legal, but a bit borderline, you know,"

    "Yes, I know, father. I already feel like a freak being there."

    "It's almost over, just 3 more months. Then you can go where ever you want, college, Paris for 6 months, I don't care. I just don't want to feel like that place is where all your hope and dreams go to die. Just wait and see, you're life is about to begin." Leave it to my father to say a whole bunch of nothing, but he tries, I can't really complain when there's someone who cares enough to try. 

    "I think I'm going head out for the evening" I sat up and got off my bed. I walked to my closet and opened the door to my walk-in.

    "I just got home! You don't want to spend some time with you old man?" he said and I reached for a jacket and sighed. I know what he's trying to do, or should I say prevent.

    "You should spend some time with your wife, I'm sure she's fuming right now."

    "She's is also your mother,"

    "Yeah, but she's not dying to see me, I'll be fine. Go do whatever it is that you couples do all the time." He was quiet for a moment before speaking again.

    "Don't stay out too late,"  he said, then I heard his footsteps retreating.

    The next day I was practically dragging my feet into school. I adjusted the shades on my face and pushed open the heavy doors of the building. Everything was just so loud and irritating; I felt drained and beyond tired. I even still had on the same clothes from last night; I felt so disgusting. Let's just say I never made it home last night. I have 15 miss calls from my dad and have not returned a single one of them. He has my location but I turned off my phone last night, and only turned it back on so he knows I'm at school.

    I tried to the best of my abilities to get to my locker, I was starting to feel lightheaded and I'm pretty sure it's due to dehydration. I don't know what the hell I took last night. As soon as I opened my locker and put my shades in, it was slammed shut. Very loudly I must add.

    "What the f**k!" I groaned irritably. I could practically feel his eyes examining me and I began to feel uncomfortable. I'm not at my best right now and lord knows the reaction he's about to get out of me.

    "Are you drunk?" He narrowed his eyes.

    "No, of course not! I don't drink!"

    "Then what the hell are you on?" 

    "What do you want Lawrence?"

    "Where were you yesterday?"

    "That was yesterday? Oops, I forgot." I said as I turned back to my locker and opened it. I didn't even try to sound the slightest bit remorseful.

    "Don't give me that bull. Thanks to you I had to stay double post-session to get it all done by myself, I had somewhere else to be at that time! If you had no intention of actually showing up you should have said something. I waited for you for an hour after." 

    I knitted my brows together, "That's so stupid why would you do that?"

    "Because you told me you were coming!"

    "And I told you I forgot." 

    "Are you really going to lie to my face right now?" I didn't say a thing back. "You know what, I don't even care anymore Jo-Ale, just here," he sighed, and I looked at him in astonishment. He called me Jo-Ale. He said my name. This was the first time he actually addressed me by my name. "Aren't you gonna take it?"

    "What?" I snapped out of my trance, he was handing me something.

    "What is this?" I asked, taking the papers away from him.

    "It's the lab. All the answers are on it, and they're all correct."

    "Why are you giving me this?"

    "I may not like you, but that doesn't mean I want you to fail. And I'm sure everyone else wants you to hurry up and graduate already too. What's it now? Your sixth year in high school? If you fail again I don't think you're even allowed to come back to high school. So I guess it wouldn't matter whether you pass or fail, either way, you're gonna be gone. But out of the kindness of my heart, I'll let you copy my work." I was speechless. For the first time, I actually let someone bad mouth me to my face, and let them get away with it. How did he even know about that? That this was my last year. If I don't pass all my classes, the school has no choice but to "pass" me, but that doesn't guarantee me a high school diploma. When I said my grades were unbelievable, they were, at least the academic ones. Gym class is another story though. I've been failing Physical Education for as long as I can remember. It's not that it's hard, I just don't see the point of it, most people don't even participate, I just skip the class altogether. But if I don't pass gym, I'm not allowed to graduate. Apparently gym class is a State requirement and you need four gym credits to graduate. 

    The announcements came on about after-school activities and then I heard the annoying voice of Leanna Fisher. She was talking about the cheerleading boot camp that will take place today before the tryouts two weeks from now. I've seen the school's cheerleaders in action before and they need help. My old squad would make them look like trash. I put my bag in my locker and decided to the nurse to sleep. I woke up around the end of fourth period, just in time for lunch fifth period. I had a slight headache but I was too hungry not to go eat.

    "Mrs. Vera," I said speaking in a fragile and innocent voice. "I think I'm going to go back to class now,"

    "Are sure? You look really sick when you came in this morning."

    "I'll be fine, I already missed a lot of class time," I even threw in a fake but believable cough.

    "And are you sure you don't want me to try calling your parents again?"

    "Yeah, I'm sure. They're at work and I don't want to bother them." I lied.

      "Aww, you poor thing. Just come back if you feel worst, okay?"

    "Yeah, thanks," I said walking out. I felt bad for tricking her like this because I really like Mrs. Vera, she's like the mother I've always wanted. Not to mention she gives grade A advice, especially when depression is kicking my ass. I casually walked down the hallway, peaking in classes as I walk by. I finally got to my locker and I opened the door and took my bag out. I shut my locker and stood there playing on my phone until the bell rang. I bought a can of peach Snapple and a slice of pizza with a salad on the side, even though I wasn't gonna eat it. The school practically force us to get either fruit or vegetables with our lunches. You don't have to eat, but you have to take it so they can at least say they served it. I sat down at the vacant table that I've been sitting at for the past two years, I took a bite of my pizza a chewed slowly. The cafeteria was starting to fill up and not before long, Leanna and her clique took their seats on the Senior Stage. The Senior Stage was a stage in the cafeteria where all the 'cool seniors' sit. I don't really care much for the stage, if you asked me, I think it's just a way to stoke their obvious superior complex. But like I said before, I don't really care. 

    I looked up to see that Leanna was looking at me. I smiled at her, then flipped her off. And as if on cue, Tyler walked in, and he was looking sexy as ever. I'm surprised I didn't notice this morning regardless of my drugged-up state. Our eyes made contact and I smiled at him, but he kept walking as if he didn't even see me. I sighed, maybe I need to apologize for blowing him off yesterday. I looked back at Tyler to see him conversing with his friends and he kept glancing at me, in between his sentences. Then all of a sudden, this guy from their table, Michael Herman, got up and it looked like he was heading in my direction. I brought my attention back to my food; I wasn't a very big fan of Michael.

    "Jo-Ale." He said, I looked at him. "It is Jo-Ale, right?"

    "It depends," I gave him a sweet smile, "who's asking?"

    "That would be me."

    "What do you want?" 

    "There's a party this Saturday,"

    "And you're asking me to go with you?"

    "Yes, but if you don't want it to be a date I'm totally cool with that," I looked past Michael and saw Tyler. He wasn't engrossed in what was happening down here with his friend Michael, unlike the rest of his friends, he obviously didn't care. I glanced back at Michael to see that he was still rambling. Then at the corner of my eye, I saw Tyler finally look at me, we met each other's eyes for a split second before he went back to talking to this girl at his table. I brought my attention back to Michael.

    "So what kind of party is it?" I asked, cutting him off.

    "It's a pool party,"

    "Aww, that's too bad. Water and I don't mix very well."

    "You don't have to swim, you can just wear your bikini and chill by the pool!" He said and I rose an eyebrow at him.

    "My bikini?"

    "Yes, what else would you wear?"

    "Um, I don't know, actual clothes maybe?" He gave me a weird look. "Look," I said while getting up. "as tempting as the offer might be, I think I'm busy this weekend."

    "Can't you just blow it off?"

"It's kind of important," I tossed my disposable tray in a trash can close to my table and sit back down in my seat.

    "What's so important?"

    "I don't know yet. But I'll be sure to let you know once I think of something." Without another word, Michael left and went back to his table on the stage.