The Book

2 | need of something new

[ M ]

The sky was so crystaling, like it's offering me an exclusive show, the stars are shining so bright, and I couldn't control this deep desire in me, I couldn't stop dreaming of the different, the strange, the insane.

It's just too much of the regular, I can't keep living my life like this, i want something new, i NEED something new.

I looked at the sealing of my flat, and the dumb sleeping body beside me, i looked at it feeling disgusted, i got up of my bed, dress my silk shirt and old shorts, i put on my white cand blue cardigan, and I submitted the sudden want to look from the window, it was so dark in this f****d up street, ya know, i'm just a useless daughter who can't do anything with her own, i'm just a b***h they got from the trash, no let's talk for real for a sec.

I wasn't the daughter they dreamt of, i was extraordinary, but they wanted regular, and ya know what happened, i brought the boys and the drinks and wohowa, and i did all of it infront them, I didn't hide myself, I just couldn't hide my true me, it was so hard to lie about my true identity, because I wouldn't lock myself in my room fingering myself just to feel something new, i mean, this is me, your daughter, if you don't me like this i'll leave, and it was a glad decision for them, and for me.

So, after the graduation, i packed my stuff with the litter from NYC college in my left hand, yes i kept my grades up high, i told them i was leaving, and they were shocked, they thought i was just kidding or making a scene 'cause of my hormones, but hell yeah i was serious, 

after one year my dad died in a car accident, and my mom had a bad trauma made her lose her kinde self, replacing her personality to bossy b***h one i'm having hard time in dealing with, and i can't tell anyone about this,

'Cause if i did, they'll start blabbering about her being my mom and I can't behave so harshly to her and some wising s**t, see, that's what makes me feel disgusted from people, they all act like some sort of an angel or a greece gods or philosophers, but in fact, they all coming out of the ass hole of the satan, uughh.

And as i said, i am extraordinary, i am a devil who doesn't act angel, a hot devil.

This fuckboy on my bed started sleep taking taking me off guards, I decided to walk in this lifeless street, just a walk nothing else, and if some gangster show up i'll just scream and make a scene so all the lattino spaino families see what happens, and I can kick their ass easly, because this b***h over here learned takewando when she fisrt arrived this place.

I started wlking without any destination, and without any doubt that I'll skip college tomorrow, f**k Mr.Wilson, he is nothing but douchbag, in the graduation i will do some real bad s**t that he won't forget for the rest of his life, i will give him a taste of his medicine, 

Uughh.. I just can't feel anything!!

suddenly I heard a loud voice ai couldn't here what's saying, and this feeling of excitement is rushing through my veins, biting my lip, getting closer to the source of the voice, i heard it coming from an alley, so I walked nearer, i smiled when i saw a man standing in that alley having his phone in his hands trying to puch away the victim's hands from his ankel, but the elder on the floor was hanging on him, and when i saw the blood I screamed the hell of my vocal cord, and the man turned to me, he kicked the old man so he can come near me but i was trying to call 911, the hell I won't run away cause i'm not scared from him, he started talking nonsense and I couldn't listen to him, how on earth i'm gonna talk to a maniac killer!

He screamed:

"I DID NOT stab him!!!" 

So i replied boldly:

"OH yeah?!.. say THAT to the police motherfucker!!" 

And before i can hear the sound of the police he snatched the phone from me, so I sayed:

"Do you think you can go with what you just did?" 

He put his hands on his head and i got the feeling that he's about to take of his hair from it's roots, he turned to me and sayed:

"I DID NOT do anything to this man.. I just heard him groaning and i thought he might need help.." 

I knew i acted harsh with what i just sayed but I don't know this guy, how am i gonna believe that he's telling the truth?

 "Oh.. so you want me to believe this s**t your saying?.. it's just like what they say.. the killer has an innocent face" 

He screamed as if he was under a pressure, and i was the reason who made him lose his temper, and i felt AH!.. it's so good to feel these new feelings inside me, i liked it, i liked pushing him to the edge so he can explode like this:

"FOR f***s SAKE I DIDN'T DO IT" 

I started laughing, i just can't take it anymore, he is so cute!!

[ J ]

Where am i?

That's the only question i have in my head right now in this f****d up moment, I wouldn't say that I wasn't scared, hell.. my bones can't stop shivering like there was some rock party inside of me, why god? WHY?!

I turned for the third time to her, and she's still laughing at me, i ignored her and went to see the man, yep, he must be dead now.

I got my phone, and called for help, when i turned off my phone i felt her getting near and the feeling of slaping gets more acceptable to me, and she just said:

"This was fun.. now give me back my phone.." 

I tilted an eyebrow, is she a maniac or something? 

"Hell no!.. you're staying with me till the police come.." 

And as if I touched a red line, she sayed back in an angry tone:

"Don't tell me what do you moron" 

She was getting under mu nerves but i liked getting under her, so i continued acting cold and giving orders:

"Yes i will dummy.. cause if i'm going to jail i wont go alone, you are coming with me"

 "But I didn't do s**t it's ALL your fault so you don't act like.. i won't fall alone" 

As i leaned on the wall beside the alley I remaind silence for a bit, and then asked her with my finger pointing to her from head to toes: 

"Do you think they won't suspect you too?.. the first thing will come to their minds that you're a pusher or a dealer" 

And suddenly, her angry scrunched face relaxed like she knew the game i was playing, she got near, and put her hand on my shoulder leaning on me, making me scene her smell, she's good, and she said with a voice filled with desire: 

"What if i was?" 

I grabbed her wrist getting enough from this bitchy witchy in front of me and i Uttered feeling nothing but hate to this annoying girl:

"That's why you're staying with me until the police show up, and just like what you said, I won't fall alone"

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