The Sentinels of Eden, Books 1-4

Chapter 47

Chapter 42

The heavy night was waiting, and I nearly made it all the way home before I started to seriously fall apart. For some reason the leftover Minties wrappers on the back seat of Aunt Lily’s car reminded me of the white butterflies that had danced around me by the River that morning, and then it was suddenly all too much. The vast disparity between my time spent in Eden and what had happened since was just too difficult for me to integrate. My heart was still full of joyful songs and exuberant play but then I had been smashing rocks and pressing my fingers against a severed artery.

My aunt had told us that Harry was still unconscious. I didn’t know what that meant. He’d seemed so much better when we’d left the cave. Was the healing power of the Fruit only temporary? If only he’d agreed to eat it. If only he still had a Guardian. Both Bane and Tessa had tried to heal him but felt nothing—apparently they really could only heal the Cherubim they were linked to. Trusting that everything would work out fine seemed a long way from feasible all of a sudden. I only noticed how violently I was trembling when Bane moved across the backseat so he could wrap me in his arms. A tired part of my brain tried to warn me that I should probably push him away, but I couldn’t stand the thought. I needed his secure hold, and I needed him. And until he had a chance to tell me he was leaving, I would take full selfish advantage.

When we arrived home, Caleb was wonderful. He’d done all the chores, made us cups of tea and even cooked us a late dinner, although I struggled to eat. We told him that his mum had decided to stay with Harry, despite the nurses’ orders. She’d announced in no uncertain terms that she considered him as family, and she would never leave a member of her family to lie alone unconscious in a hospital no matter what the rules said. She could be fierce when it came to family. The nurses had backed off.

‘Do you want me to come with you tomorrow to bring back the camping gear?’ Caleb asked Noah as he took away his plate. We all stared at him blankly. ‘You know,’ he continued, ‘if you’re going to have a dirty weekend away, you might want to think about taking Tess somewhere a little more classy than Nalong State Park. Have I taught you nothing?’

Of course. We had all appeared out of the bush so suddenly he would have assumed we were all camping out there together. He took my plate next and polished off the rest of my stir-fry. ‘I could bring Nicole along to help. She’ll be stoked. She’s been asking to see the cave paintings but Mum wouldn’t let her,’ he suggested.

‘No!’ Noah exclaimed. His brother paused mid-bite, looking confused.

Bane cleared his throat. ‘Actually, Caleb, Sergeant Loxwood has requested that I go and locate the knife. He told me not to touch it. I think he wants to make sure the scene is left undisturbed, just in case.’

We all sat silently as his words sank in. The only reason the policeman would request that was if he thought it could become a murder investigation. ‘Just in case’ meant ‘just in case Harry died from his wounds’. I left the room.

Bane found me in Harry’s cottage, staring listlessly at the stupid note on the fridge. I had planned to do some tidying up because I wanted to believe Harry would be moving back in soon, but instead I’d just stood there numbly, staring at his annoying scribble as my mind kept oscillating between hopeful expectation that everything would be fine and razor sharp grief that kept trying to convince me that he was already lost.

‘There is always a choice,’ I whispered, over and over. Harry had chosen not to eat the Fruit. Had he chosen death? My mother had sounded so confident when she’d explained about people choosing to ‘move across’, as if they were choosing to take a holiday or a really long nap. Was that what Harry wanted? I shook my head. Again with the wanting. Eden rules. If he wanted to die, I should not only be happy for him, I should help. But what about what I wanted?

Behind me I heard Bane enter and lean against the doorframe, waiting for me to say something. I put it off for as long as I could but eventually I turned to face him and took a deep breath.

‘I’m ready now. You can say what you need to.’ Pressing down a bit of the curled up grey lino with my foot, I tried to sound more composed than I felt but I could hear the tremble in my voice.

He tilted his head. ‘What is there to say?’

Oh, I don’t know. Maybe how angry you are at me for ruining your life and embarrassing you in front of all my friends and family …

Looking up at him boldly, I clutched the back of one of the chairs. ‘Tell me what you need from me. I said I would help you leave Nalong but I honestly don’t know if I can now. It depends on Harry.’ There was a good chance that the mining threat was now over, but even if it was, I still couldn’t leave Aunt Lily to run the farm on her own. Good farmhands were not easy to come by, let alone finding one we would feel comfortable with living so close to Eden. If Harry was unable to work …

‘But I’m not leaving Nalong,’ he said, his slate grey eyes fixed on mine.

My heart was in turmoil. I was thrilled at the idea that I could still see him but I knew it would only be harder on me. The only way I knew of to break the bond was to cross into Eden. Would he stay on as our farmhand if I left? Was that his plan? I was so tired I could hardly think.

‘I will always allow you your freedom,’ I resolved. ‘I need you to believe that.’

He gripped the doorframe in frustration, looking as grumpy as he had all those times when I’d tipped his locker forwards to make his books fall against the door. Was he going to yell at me the way he always had back then?

‘Lainie, you can be incredibly infuriating sometimes.’ It wasn’t quite a yell but I still cringed. ‘I’m not going to leave you. Not unless you tell me to. I know you think I need my freedom, but I’m telling you I already have it. And I will always allow you yours.’ He pointed in exasperation to the writing on the fridge. ‘I have a choice. And with or without the bond, I’m choosing to be here, with you.’

I was stunned. He still wanted me? Could it really be as simple as that? As simple as Eden?

‘Look,’ he said, clearly trying to be patient. ‘I don’t blame you for doubting me. And you were right to make me leave for a while. For the last ten years I’ve treated you like dirt. I hurt you in every possible way I could think of.’ His face had taken on that bitter, self-loathing expression again. Humans should never ever look like that.

‘Bane, I told you I’ve forgiven you for—’

‘I know!’ he interrupted, ‘but that’s not enough. I need a chance to regain your trust, because why would you possibly believe that I won’t hurt you again?’

I just stood there looking stupid and feeling scared. How was he able to articulate what I felt when I couldn’t even make sense of it myself? I needed to tell him anyway, no matter how muddled I was.

‘I used to be able to just let it bounce off me, when you were mean. More or less,’ I stammered. Stupid words. I wanted words that would banish that self-contempt from his eyes, not these ones.

‘But now you can’t,’ he said.

I shrugged apologetically.

‘Because I matter to you now.’ I gave a short nod. He smiled, but his eyes were still very serious. ‘I want you to be able to trust me.’

The sign language that I’d seen in Eden could not be manipulated to tell lies and so I knew that everything about Bane’s body language was telling me the truth. And I was good at knowing if people were being truthful. He wanted a chance to prove I could trust him.

‘Bane?’ I whispered in a voice that always seemed to go husky when I most wanted to be heard. I was afraid to ask but even more afraid not to. ‘What else do you want?’

He closed the distance between us as if released from chains. ‘I want us to be together. And I want to help you to do your job. And not just because it’s been ordained, but because I’ve always loved you—even when I was too self-absorbed to see it.’

I could feel his body quivering as he gripped my shoulders. He searched my face. ‘But what about you, Lainie? What do you want?’

An intrinsic, primal impulse welled up inside me that had nothing to do with Eden, and everything to do with the person I had been born to love.

‘I want what you want,’ I breathed, and when he kissed me, for just a little while, everything was just fine.