Together Forever

The Starry, Starry Night (Part 1)

It was a long day. Sean felt tired. Between running around the whole day, the waiting and no sleep, he was tired. Tired of having to wait for answers; the wait for Kyle to come home. He arrived at home. Mindlessly he threw the keys on the counter upon walking into the living room. The house felt stuffy. He walked over to the large windows, pulling the curtains away. He opened the patio doors. He needed some fresh air; he needed to breathe. It was late on this summer’s day. As the sun was setting, the calming shades of colour reflected from the clouds that left a trail over the City beneath. For a moment he stood there, taking in the scenery before him; wishing that Kyle was beside him.

The loneliness crept into his body. “How much worse must it feel for Kyle? Lying there, alone in a strange bed; a strange room.” He thought. Feeling hungry from not eating anything the entire day, he turned towards the kitchen. He searched the refrigerator for a snack. “f**k! This too?!” He was tired of everything. He needed to stock up on food for the house, but worse, he forgot to buy milk. “Damit man, get it together!” he angerly slammed the door shut. He reached for the keys on the counter, not worrying closing the patio doors, he walked out off the front door, making sure that it was locked.

Flashing lights blinded him for a moment as a car pulled into the driveway. He walked over to greet her.

“Hello darling. Are you only getting home now?”

“Hi mother.” He replied. “Actually I’m going out.”

“Oh.” She wanted to speak.

“You can come with, if you’d like. Just need milk.” He interrupted her.

“Good, let’s take my car.” She said getting back in.

Sean climbed into the passanger side.

“Where to?” Elaine asked.

“The Plaza will be fine, thanks.” He replied as she started to drive off.

“You look tired, dear.” She commented. ““Have you eaten yet?”

“No.” he said. “I need to get that too.” He sighed as they approached the little shopping centre.

“I’ll order us something to eat, you go get the milk.” She directed him as if he was still a child, before making her way to the drive through Nando’s.

“Mothers, no matter how old you are, they’ll always think off you as their precious little one.” He thought, walking over to find the milk. He did appreciate her concern. Perhaps it’s just what he needed after this day?

They arrived back home. All that Sean wanted to do is sit and rest his tired body. Both were startled by a cat suddenly rushing past them in the living room.

“Don’t worry” Sean tried to calm her. “It’s just the neighbour’s cat. He visits here from time to time.”

“What a fright.” She breathed. “No, wonder...” she looked over at the open patio doors. “You should really be more careful.” She said with a caring tone.

“Relax, mother. It’s just me at home. Besides if anyone wanted to get in through there, they really must have a death wish. I’ve had Aygo trained well.” He reassured her.

“Still, I can’t help but worry.”

“I know.” He said bringing a bottle off wine from the kitchen to the coffee table.

“Do you think that is wise.” She indicated at the wine on the table.

“Mother…” he gently moaned. “Not tonight, please.”

“At least eat something first.” She smiled. “Tell me, how’s Kyle doing?” she asked, handing him the chicken salad.

“Thanks. He’s in pain, but recovering.” He tiredly replied.

“I know it’s difficult. There’s nothing that you can do. Just be there for him, as I know you are. At the end it means the most.” She said with worry. “Are you looking after yourself?”

“I visit him every chance I get, even sneaking in some illegal ones too.” He replied. “I find it difficult to sleep, but other than that I’m fine, thank you.”

“Then why did you not eat today?”

“It was just too crazy, between the Police, court, Kyle and Jonothan.” He said, before taking a bite and placing back on the table.

“Were you successful?”

“Somewhat. Shall see if the court grants the restraining order.”

“Ugh, it’s always a struggle.” She sounded discouraged. “Eat.”

“Can’t” he replied. “too nauseous.”

“Are you taking your medications?”

“Yes, mother.” He answered, sarcastically mocking her.

“Sean Michealson!” she was stern.

“Mother, do not fret. I am a grown man.” He replied.

Elaine finished her dinner, making sure he at least tried to have a bite or two more.

“Thank you for dinner.” Sean said. “Didn’t you want some tea?”

“It’s allright, thanks. I must be leaving. You need to get some sleep.” She replied.

“You don’t have to go” he said “you can sleep in the guestroom” he indicated towards the small hallway as he reclined onto the couch.

“It’s fine, perhaps another time.” She said as she kissed him on the forhead. “You’ll lock the door behind me?”

“Just release the lock when you close the door.” He replied. “Thanks again, mother.”

“It’s a mother’s delight.” She said with a soft smile before leaving.

Sean loved her dearly, but she could often nag with him. Tonight he truly appreciated her being there. It was what he needed. “There is nothing like a mother’s love” he thought. Besides her the only one that meant everything to him, was Kyle. “Kyle…” he wispered as he drifted off to sleep.

It’s been five weeks since that night with the city lights in the background. Sean noticed that Kyle was hesitant to respond to his words, but he did not want to push him too hard. “Next week will be three months that we’re dating.” Sean thought, while sitting in the conference room, waiting for a client to arrive. “If we can call this dating.” They haven’t discussed it yet, but he wondered if this really was his first. “Perhaps we should do something next weekend?” His thoughts were interrupted with his three o’clock appointment arriving.

There’s a knock on the door. “Come in.”

“Are you busy?” Sean enquired.

“Always, but please have a seat.” Kyle replied. “What did the client say?”

“They are happy with all the images, except this one.” Sean said with disappointment on his face, handing a folder to him.

Kyle appeared to be confused “it’s empty?”

“Oh?” Sean surprisingly responded. “Perhaps, it’s because they were completely saticfied.” He started to laugh, “as usual” he added.

“Damn you! You little tease.” Kyle jokingly responded. “You had me going there for a second.”

He was still laughing a little “you should know by now, I can’t resist.”

“One off these days I’ll get you.” Kyle said.

“Hey, what are you guys laughing about?” They both heard Michelle ask, standing in the doorway.

“Oh, I said the client weren’t happy and he must redo everything.” Sean replied with a smile.

“Shame on you!” she jokingly said. “You let me know if he’s giving you trouble” Michelle said to Kyle looking back at Sean.

“Don’t worry, nothing I can’t handle.” Kyle replied.

“Sean, when you are done here, come see me please.” She said with an unuaually large smile.

“Almost finished.” Sean said as she disappeared from sight.

“Listen” he paused to scan the room, making sure that Michelle had left “how about you stay the weekend with me at my apartment?” he quickly asked Kyle.

Kyle nerveously shifted, also turning his eyes “what, Friday after work?” he asked.

“Yes. I’d like you for a whole weekend to myself.”

“I think I…” he paused. “Sorry, I have to go out off town this weekend, for a wedding.” Kyle replied.

Sean’s heart froze “but you’ll be back?” he was worried.

“Yes. I think so.”

“You think so?” Sean’s worst fear had become a reality. “What do you mean?”

“I mean” Kyle paused “that I look forward to spend the weekend with you.” He had a devilish grin.

“What…” he responed, pausing to read his expression “are you toying with me?”

Kyle started to laugh “you see how that feels? It’s not nice, hey?” he said. “I’m teasing you, I have no plans, except spending time with you.” He calmed Sean.

“Oh, you little rascle. You had me going there for a while.” He felt relieved. “Good, then we’ll talk over the usual drink after work tonight.”

“Yip. I just have to send a parcel to my brother, but I’ll meet you there.” Kyle said, watching Sean shake his head to the little payback he got as he left Kyle alone in his office.

Sean thought it best for a quiet weekend at home, since they’ve went out almost every weekend these past two months. It was raining anyway, which made the outdoors something that he wanted to avoid. The wet feeling in your shoes, the uncomfortable struggle off balancing the damn umbrella while struggling to get into the car. He was not up for that. “Perfect” he thought “then we’ll make it a movie weekend.” He had always dreamed of spending a whole day in front of the tv, watching movies, eating popcorn while holding a man in his arms. Cosy, romantic, just plain bliss. This was the perfect weather for that.

He was busy preparing a large bowl of popcorn. “Damit!” he was not happy. “Why do you have to burn, you bastard!” He said, as if it was the popcorn’s fault for burning. If he had paid more attention to what he was doing it wouldn’t have happened. Kyle sprung a question onto him about two weeks ago, when they were driving back home after having dinner one evening.

“How do you feel about children?” Kyle’s words came from nowhere.

“Excuse me?”

“How do you feel about children?” he repeated himself. “Do you see yourself as a father one day?” Kyle looked over at Sean as he tried his best to focus on the road; hiding the sudden shock.

“Where does this come from?” Sean wanted to buy some time to fully comprehend this moment. “What do you have children that I do not know about?” He nerveously laughed.

“No, no. But I can see myself as a father one day. It’s something I think that I’d truly enjoy.” Kyle said, anxiously waiting for a response.

“Okay.” Sean sighed with slight relief. “I do love children, don’t get me wrong, but raising them is a hell of a commitment.” Sean let the words hang in the car.

He did not really want to tell Kyle that he had raised his little sister and her being ripped away left him wondering if the joy of loving a child, raising them, caring for them is really worth enduring that pain when they are taken from you.

“I’d like to adopt a blue-eyed boy as my first child.” Kyle spoke. “Taking him to soccer practise. Perhaps a few music lessons. Packing his sandwiches for school, teaching him how to ride a bike. It could be wonderful.”

“It sounds perfect. Are you going to undertake that responsibility alone?” Sean carefully asked him.

“No. I just have to find the right guy first. Someone who wish to share this dream with me.” He softly replied, glancing over at Sean again.

“Was this a conveluded reaction to my remark that night with the City lights in the background?” Sean thought. “Is this his subtle way of seeing if I am that man he’s looking for?”

The smell of burnt popcorn is heavy in the air. Sean opened some windows, hoping that it would dissipate before Kyle would arrive.

“Is that what he meant, that night?” he still wondered. “I have to know. The suspense is killing me.” His mind still turning over this question.

There was a knock at the door. “s**t” he said, running through the room with a bottle of air freshner. “Coming” he shouted.

Sean walked over to the door “Hello. Please come in.” he invited Kyle.

“Hello.” Kyle replied. “What happened here?” he was struck by the awfull smell, mixed with a Lavender scent.

“Burnt the damn popcorn.” Sean replied. “Sorry about that. It’ll disappear in a minute.”

Kyle only smiled at him. “What, where you distracted?”

“You know it.” Sean said.

“Here, as you’ve instructed.” He said, handing the box of wine to Sean. “And here’s the movies too.”

“Lovely. Thanks, just put them on the coffee table for now. You can put your bag in the bedroom.

“Did you burn everything, or is there still some left?” Kyle asked, walking into the bedroom, placing his bag in the corner at the door.

“No, it was just the one batch.”

“You want to me help you?” Kyle said, emerging from around the corner.

“It’s fine.”

“Here, let me show you a trick that I’ve learned.” Kyle said, walking over to the stove. “Your plate is too hot.” He said turning it down. “Pour only two hands full into the pot and place the lid halfway on top. It allows the excess heat to escape, preventing it from burning.”

“Wow. I’ll remember that for next time. Thanks.” Sean appreciatively said.

Sean could not prevent the growing feelings for this man in his kitchen from taking over. In this moment it was more than going on a date. It was more than the intamicy of a romantic dinner. It was more than the effort to impress someone you are taken with. This was a perfect moment of what a real relationship implied. Busy with a menial task, while having the comforting feeling of appreciation. A feeling of comfort. The feeling of love.

He walked up behind Kyle still busy watching over the stove. Carefully he placed his arms arounds Kyle’s chest. His nose pressed against Kyle’s neck, his lips gently kissing the soft skin.

“Thank you for being here.” He wispered in his ear.

Kyle turned around in his arms and stared straight into his eyes. “Hmm. Happy to be” he replied, before giving Sean a deep kiss.

Breaking from the kiss “I see you got this under control” Sean said, looking at the stove. “I’m going to prepare the couch, do you mind?” he asked.

“Go, I got this. Take the wine with you.” He said.

Sean pulled out the sleeper couch. He bought this years ago. When he needed a change of scenery, he slept there. “As they say, change is as good as a holiday” he always thought. Returning from the bedroom, he placed the pillows on the couch and dragged the coffee table closer. He did not want to get up for anything. Relaxing on the couch with Kyle in his arms was al that he wanted to do.

“I see you have no intention getting out off bed.” Kyle commented. “I like the way you’re thinking.” Walking over with the bowl of popcorn in hand.

“You can’t argue that this is what you’ve hoped for.” Sean said with a smile.

“No, I cannot. It’s perfect.

“What movie first?” Sean asked.

“That one.”

“Allright, the new Avengers it is.” Sean said placing into the player.

“Have you seen it yet?”

“No, but I hear it’s awesome. And you?”

“No, I’ve been meaning to for a while. Thought it would be perfect for this evening.” Kyle said, taking a hand full of popcorn as Sean poured them some wine.

The movie started and they sat there in each other’s arms, watching, smiling; enjoying the wonderful evening as the rain continued to tap onto the large window outside.

Waking up the next morning to the calming sound of the gentle rain still drizzling outside, Sean was happy to look upon Kyle lying next to him. Feeling the warmth wrapped between his thighs as their legs were entwined together. Appreciating his heaving chest with every breath. Watching him sleep. He placed his hand on Kyle’s arm, pulling the bed sheet up to his neck. The slightest temperature change sent chivers through Kyle, given that he’s not used to this climate.

“Morning beautiful” the words indicated that Kyle was awake.

“Morning.” Sean softly wispered. “Did you sleep well?”

“Delightfully so.” Kyle replied. “How could I not after last night?”

“Yeah, I was also spent.”

“That was by far the best s*x I’ve had.” Kyle said.

“What about last weekend?” Sean teased.

“It’s always been great, but last night was amazing.”

“Oh, please.” Sean modestly replied. “Without you, nothing would have been amazing.” Sean kissed him.

“Sean?” Kyle hesitantly asked.

“Hmm?”

“Perhaps we can go all out next time.” Kyle said with a shy tone. “I feel ready.”

“Only if you want to.” Sean replied. “But not this weekend.” Sean said placing his hand on Kyle’s cheek.

“Agreed.”

Without thinking, the words just slipped from his lips “I love you.” Sean wispered.

Kyle’s eyes filled with shock at this sudden announcement and he rolled over onto his back, letting slip a sigh.

“I did not mean to spring that on you.” Sean tried to reassure him. “It’s just what I felt and the words came…”

“It’s not that I do not appreciate it, Sean. I really do. I want to...” Kyle paused “but I can’t.”

“You don’t have to say it, if you are not ready.” He rubbed his arm calming Kyle.

“It’s not that.” Kyle replied.

Sean lifted his body onto his elbow, looking over at Kyle; staring into those beautiful eyes. “What is it then?” he asked.

“It’s not that I do not like you, hell I’ve stayed in town to see what could happen, but I cannot ignore the fact that I have a life, back in Knysna.” Kyle said with a soft choke in his voice.

“I am aware off that.” Sean said, not knowing if he wanted to continue this conversation. “We have to talk about what is going on here.”

“Why must we lable what we have?” Kyle responded.

“It’s not a lable, or a status. We’re talking about a possible future, aren’t we?”

“I’m torn, Sean. I want to be here with you, but I will have to go back there too. I cannot expect from you to move down there.” Kyle staired into Sean’s eyes. “It’s a total complicated mess.” Kyle was upset.

“I did not want to upset you, but we need to know if this is meant to be, or not.”

“I can’t say for sure, Sean. It’s too far into the future. Why can’t we just enjoy what we have now?”

“Allright.” Sean let it go, not feeling satisfied with his response.

It was confusing for Sean, this constant come heather then no, don’t attitude off Kyle. First the seduction and emotional expression, then he is being pushed away, kept at a distance. Sean did not want to admit it, but has become a point of irritation. Still he was afraid off loosing Kyle. He was anxious to hold onto him, what is a little frustration compared to the possibility off being happy at the end? If there was a happy ending written in the cards for them.

“Kyle?” Sean gently asked. “How about we go away, next weekend? “To celebrate what we have had thus far; three wonderful months.”

Kyle rolled back on his left side “where to?” he asked.

“Clarens. It’s a small town, not too far from here.” Sean replied.

“I don’t know. I..” Kyle tried to explain.

“Come on. A change off scenery will do you some good. It’s peaceful and quiet. Beautiful mouintains all around. A diverse grouping off people; especially from Jo-burg, so we won’t be the odd ones out. We’ll be just another couple off strangers, like the rest.”

He could see Kyle thinking about it for a second “what do you say?” he asked.

“Perhaps it will be good to go.” Kyle finally spoke. “Allright, let’s do it.”

“Wonderful.” Sean said, very happy that he agreed. “What would you like for breakfast?”

“Nothing” Kyle replied. “What I want now, is you.”

“Oh!” Sean said as Kyle grabbed him behind the head, pulling them into a warm gentle kiss.

It was a beautiful drive in the countryside on this cloudy afternoon as they headed to Clarens. Sean arranged that he would leave early on the Friday. With the car packed their journey began. Kyle really enjoyed, exploring a new part off the country that he was not familiar with. Sean did not want to drive straight to the little town, hidden between the mountains. He wanted Kyle to have the full Free State countryside experience; making a stop or two along the road at a few farm stalls, purchasing a snack or two. It was a peaceful drive. Sean hoped that this would calm Kyle a bit.

Their conversation was light and cheerful, but Sean could sense that this was not entirely so. He tried his best to ignore the heavy air between them, yet it still linguered. It has been almost a week since those words escaped from his lips. Words that he did not want to think about. That words that was screaming for attention; words that he pushed back into a hidden corner. A drive that’s no longer than three hours, took them a bit more than four to complete. Sean did not mind at all, Kyle was at least enjoying the outing. The sign came up on the left and he turned into the town, taking them through the township. Sean thought that when Kyle saw this part first, he would appreciate the splendour off the town even more. He could see the worry forming on his face, while he smiled within, knowing that his plan is working.

It was just before six when they came to the first part of town. The sun was still out; setting behind the mountain that cast a shadow upon the town. On a Friday night, with the sun setting, it created a warm and cosy feeling of the promising night life that was about to awaken. People walking along the tiny roads, the live music streaming from the restaurants as families, friends, lover; young and old made their way for a lovely meal, envoked a feeling of calm. A feeling of quiet laugher and joy. A feeling of intamicy. The drive through town was a short one. It doesn’t take long to arrive at the main entrance, yet Sean drove slowly, allowing for Kyle to absorb the complete tranquillity this town promised.

Turning out off town, driving along the road, the carefully spaced lights on the Golf Estate shimmered like fairies floating between the houses at the foot of the mountain. Sean brought the car to a halt at the gates of the estate, informing security they are checking in. It’s been a while since he was at this house, struggling to find the path towards the house in this maze, but they’ve made it. Pulling the car in front of this large house, Kyle’s eyes grew wide. Sean struggled to get the key to fit into the lock for a minute, before they entered this enourmous four bedroomed house. Kyle was shocked.

“An entire house?” Kyle asked. “Why waste this kind of money?”

“Don’t worry. I did not waste any money on the house.” He replied. “It’s Michelle’s parents’ house.”

“What?! I told you that I do not want anyone knowing.” Kyle responded.

“Kyle, calm down. I did not tell her anything.” He reassured Kyle. “But she’d figured it out on her own.”

“No wonder she’d been staring at me these past few weeks. Sean!” Kyle was not happy.

“What was I supposed to do? She called it and I cannot hide it from her.” He replied. “And those stares were only out off curiousity, besides she’s so excited for us, that I had to calm her. No, hell I had to forbid her to talk to anyone about this.” Sean tried to diffuse the situation that he was getting a little tired off.

“Still, it makes me feel exposed. Especially at the office. We work together.” Kyle said.

Sean walked over to Kyle, placing his hands on his shoulders “I know how it makes you feel, but please understand, we’ve been friends for many years now. She is just as happy as I am to have you.” He tried to explain.

“Perhaps I’m over reacting a bit. I’m sorry.” Kyle said, placing his head on Sean’s shoulder.

“It’s allright. Always remember that I only want the best for you. It’s never my intention to hurt you, nor to make you feel bad.” Sean said lifting Kyle’s head to look into his eyes. “Please I want you to remember that.”

“I shall. But if I forget, do forgive me, please.” Kyle responded. “I am trying here.”

“I know you are. We’ll just take it one step at a time.” Sean gave him a hug. “I’m going to get the bags from the car. You go and choose a room with the best view.”

“Sounds fair.” Kyle replied.

Sean was struggling with himself as he headed back to the car. He could not begin to explain how much he loved Kyle, but it’s difficult to constantly remind himself about how he felt almost a year ago. He was just as scared, just as conflicted, just as consumed by fear. How could he expect this twenty seven year old man to be in the same place as he is now. It took him many years of struggling to finally accept himself. “Twenty nine” he thought. “Gentle patience, Sean.” He reminded himself. “Loving patience!”

“Kyle?” Sean called for him upon entering the house.

“In here.” He heard the voice come from somewhere to the right.

Searching for where he heard Kyle speak, Sean was delightfully taken with the gorgeous view from the bedroom. The small town laid perfectly in front of the bed. Stunning colours from the setting sun, made the roaring storm clouds over the Drakensberg mountains, in the distance seem puffy and inviting. Seeing Kyle stand out on the balcony only bookended this picture perfectly. Sean softly placed the bags on the floor, reaching for his phone, he made sure to capture this moment in time. Forever adding it to his collection.

“Are you seeing this?” Kyle looked behind him at Sean.

“Yes. I am.” He replied. “It truly is beautiful.”

“Stunning!”

“I’m going to take a shower before we go out.” Sean said. “Are you joining me?”

“Out?” Kyle appeared surprised.

“Yes. I’m taking you to dinner.” Sean said.

“Oh.” It was the only reply Kyle gave. “Well then, lets.” He said following Sean towards the large shower.

A buzzing calm floated down the street. Live local musicians entertained a rather large crowd, ensuring that every taste was catered for. Dancing flames from the torches offered the perfect romantic feeling, as they searched for the ideal restaurant. Sean should have made a reservation for them, but not knowing when they’d arrive in town he hoped that it won’t be as busy. Luckily there was a table being cleared as another couple left after an enjoying their meal. Sean jumped at this opportunity. This quaint little Italian-Style restaurant proved to live up to its reputation. Sean heard some people talk about this place back home and that their food was sublime.

Given that’s it’s a small town and not an unsusually busy weekend with some sort off event taking place, most restaurants closed around eleven. They were finished with their food, a while ago, but kept a delightful conversation going, drinking wine. Sean decided it was time for something a little stronger; just one or two, desperately trying to relieve some off the irritation. He placed one last order, before paying the bill. They got up, slowly making their way around the town square.

Ice cream cones in hand they scoped out the possible shops that Kyle would like to visit in the morning. Joyfull laughter echoed across the empty town square. Walking hand in hand, in the midst of this starry, starry night, was everything that Sean could have hoped for, but did not get. He was so close to Kyle that the heat from his body was rising up towards his arm, yet their fingers never touched. The sreaming within him grew louder, yet no answer was received. The cool air on his skin was not embraced by a warm touch; only a warm smile through the quiet, dim lit streets as their feet quietly moved forward.

After the lovely meal and walk through the town Kyle was already asleep in the bed. Sean thought it best for a cigarette. When he spent time with Kyle, he smoked less, knowing how bad it smelled and tasted when they would kiss. He did not want to make Kyle more uncomfortable than necccisary. Pulling the nicotine in his lungs while looking up to the stars that brightly smiled down upon him, he was happy. Happy to have Kyle with him. He looked back over to Kyle’s restless body on the bed. He was over the moon. Sean sent a silent prayer into the night; that Kyle feels the same way about him. He saw a future for them, a happy one. He wanted to drown this man in his love, but needed to handle him with care. He seemed fragile, soft, broken; still Sean was prepared to do what it takes to make this work. “Loving Patience, Sean!” he reminded himself, taking another pull of his cigarette, looking up to the starry sky in the quiet of the cool night.

Sean was the first to wake up on the Saturday morning. This was not unusual. He was always the one to wake up first. Perhaps it was the curiousity to watch Kyle’s breathing, or lying there, thinking off all the reasons how he could be this lucky. No matter what it was, he was awake and staring over at Kyle next to him. “Knowing that you have someone in your life is not the same as seeing that confirmation when you open your eyes in the morning.” He thought for a moment, before getting out off bed. He would love to lay there next to him the whole day, but this weekend is not meant for only that. He wanted this weekend to offer the complete experience of compatibility; privately in the comfort of each other’s prescence as well as in a public setting. He had planned a day full off activities, that neither one of them did before. Sean hoped that they both could enjoy something out off their comfort zone, proving it possible to overcome ones fear off the little things in life.

Sean put the kettle on, prepared two cups to make some tea. He warmed up a couple off muffins, grated some cheese and put biltong into a small bowl. It was a simple breakfast, just enough to hold them until lunch. They could not eat a heavy breakfast. He was fearful that the excitement off the extreme activities would cause nausea, something that neither of them cared for. He placed everthing carefully on a tray and walked into the bedroom where he had left Kyle. Still asleep. They were both tired from a long week at the office, but Sean thought that’s why Sundays are there, to lingure a while longer in a blissfull sleep; resting.

“Kyle?” he wispered. “Kyle. Breakfast is ready.”

“Hmm?”

Sean sat next to him on the bed. “I brought you some breakfast.” He said, moving his fingers throught Kyle’s hair.

“Why so early?” Kyle asked, still half asleep.

“It’s not that early anymore.” Sean replied. “Come, I have an exciting day planned for us, but you need to at least eat something first.”

Sean retrieved the tray from the table where he sat it down. He walked over back to the bed and placed the serving tray in the middle off the bed, while he climed back under the covers. Their food was ready and he took a sip from his tea, before gently poking Kyle in the ribs to get up.

“No.” Kyle moaned. “Just five more minutes.” He pleaded.

“Come, come.” Sean said. “I would also like to sleep in, but if we lay here any longer, you know that we won’t get out off bed. Remember what happened last weekend?”

“Hmm. Can’t we do the same as last weekend?” Kyle was reluctant to get a move on.

“No. Not today, but I promise there will be time for that the entire day tomorrow.” Sean said.

Hesitantly Kyle sat upright in bed. He took a sip off his tea that was getting cold by now. “Ugh, the tea is cold.” He said.

“Whose fault is that?” Sean asked. “Give” he extended his hand. “I’ll warm it up for you, while you eat something.” He said, walking towards the kitchen.

Waiting for the microvawe to warm the tea, Sean could hear that Kyle was busy eating as the clinging of the knife was evidently travelling from the bedroom. Kyle did enjoy a bran muffin with some cream cheese and biltong as a snack, exactly what he planned for this morning. “So far, so good.” Sean thought to himself with a smile.

“You planned what?!” Kyle asked as they pulled the car through the old farm gates.

“We are going horse back riding.” Sean replied.

“Are you crazy?” Kyle replied. He sounded scared.

Sean knew that Kyle was afraid of riding a horse, as was he.

“How will you know if it’s something that you’ll enjoy, if you never try it?” Sean said to Kyle.

“I’m not comfortable not being in control.” Kyle said. “Besides, how do I control something bigger than myself?”

“You are not supposed to control the horse.” Sean replied. “It’s a bond between the rider and the horse. You then lead or stear it in the direction that you want it to go. It’s mutual trust, not dominant control.” He tried his best to persuade Kyle.

“I don’t know.” Kyle said. He was not convinced.

“I’ll be there with you. I’ve also never rode a horse, so it’s just as scary to me.” Sean said. “Please just try it with me.” He pleaded. “Perhaps we could enjoy it together” he paused “or we’ll never want to do this again. As long as we do it together.”

“Allright.” Kyle finally agreed. “But if I freak out like a little b***h, do not laugh at me.”

“I promise you that I won’t.” Sean happily agreed to his terms.

Sean went to the office, confirming their appointment, while Kyle stood outside, looking at the terrifying reality that awaited upon him. They made their way towards the group off people standing by the horses. The fear on Kyle’s face was evident.

“Calm yourself.” Sean wispered. “I’m here with you.” He tried to reassure him.

It was just before ten in the morning and the heat from the day was burning intensely. Clouds drifted over them, offering some relief to this heat, but the humidity was worse. They breathed heavy pressure, which indicated that rain was on the way.

“Hi there.” An overly happy voice greeted them.

Both turned around to see who this strange person was. “Hello” they greeted with a nervouse smile.

“Is this your first time?” the man asked.

“Yes.” Sean replied. “Is it that obvious?” he asked.

“Let’s just say, you do not hide it well.” He replied. “My name is Alex.” He introduced himself.

“Oh.” Sean forgot his manners. “I’m Sean.” He greeted. “And this is Kyle.”

“It’s nice to meet you.” Alex said. “How long have you two been together?” he enquired.

Kyle was immediately uncomfortable and Sean tried to diffuse this awkwardness. “No, no. We’re not together or anything like that. We are….” He tried to explain.

“Oh. I’m sorry for prying. It’s just that I tought you two were… well dating.” Alex said. “Where’s your boyfriends then?” he was not shy to ask.

“Excuse me?!” Kyle angerly asked.

“Oh, I understand now. No problem. Your secret is safe with me. Besides, we are not here to judge anyone.” Alex said.

Kyle turned around to step away from this conversation. “I apologize.” Sean said to Alex. “He’s not comfortable around strange people. ” He wispered, before walking after Kyle.

“Kyle?” he called after him. He kept on walking towards a quiet place in the shade. “Kyle?”

“What gives him the right to stick his nose where it does not belong?” Kyle asked.

Careful not to get too close to Kyle “remember that he’s a stranger. Someone you’ll probably never see again after this weekend.” Sean tried to talk some sense into Kyle.

“I guess that you have a point.” Kyle responded. “Still, I do not like it.”

“I know, Kyle.” He comforted him. “Please try to keep an open mind about this. He probably went through the same as we did. If there’s someone that’ll understand the fear, it will be someone like us.” Sean pleaded.

“You are right.” Kyle said looking at Sean. He could see that Kyle was upset, but still he tried to make an effort. “I’m sorry, Sean.”

“No need to apologize to me.” Sean assured him. “I know. He probably knows too. Come, let’s go back over there.” He gestured towards the horses.

They walked back over to where Alex was waiting by the horses.

“I’m sorry for prying into your life.” Alex offered an apology.

“It’s allright.” Kyle replied.

“I often forget the time before….” Alex said. “I am a little flamboyant, meddling where I’m not supposed to.” He said with a smile. “My husband must always remind me to keep my nose from other’s business.” He offered a gentle smile.

The surprise on Kyle’s face was present, even with Sean too. They never met a couple who was married before. This was new to them both.

“Oh.” Kyle responded with surprise. Sean noticed that he was still uncomfortable, yet he was calmed by this news.

“Perhaps, Kyle can understand the struggle they must face daily? Still they chose to ignore the people around them to persue their own happiness.” Sean thought to himself.

“It’s our anniversary tomorrow. We got married a year ago, here in Clarens.” Alex said.

“That is wonderful.” Sean replied. “It’s not often that you meet married couples” He added.

“Yes. It was not easy. He was hesitant, but love won at the end. Something that I’m very greatefull for.” Alex responded.

“Where is he?” Kyle curiously enquired.

“He went to the stables.” Alex looked over at the building behind them. “His parents are friends with the owner of this farm.”

Sean and Kyle stood there for a moment looking at the horses, running around in the camp, warming up for the journey that they are about to under take. “You see that we all have our struggles?” Sean softly wispered to Kyle.

“I do.” He replied. “It is a bit different here where we are only strangers to one another. It does relieve some off the anxiety.”

“I’m glad to hear that.” Sean said.

“Hi honey.” Sean heard a voice speak next to them. He turned to see that Alex’s husband arrived, giving him a slight hug.

“Come, I want you to meet some people.” Alex invited him.

“You!” Sean exclaimed with shock.

Everyone froze, trying to understand the situation between Sean and Alex’s husband.

“I never expected to see you here.” Sean spoke.

Nerveously the man started to chuckle. “Long time no see.” He said

“What’s going on here?” Alex asked, with Kyle only agreeing in silence.

“This is Michelle’s brother.” Sean said.

“Yeah, we’ve met a few years back.” Aaron said.

“You…” Sean struggled to find the words. “You are married to Alex?”

“Yes. We’ve met three years ago, and now the rest is history.” Aaron said.

“I cannot believe this.” Sean was still shocked.

“You see, I was a bully in college. This guy was one off my unfortunate victims.” Aaron indicated to Sean. “By the way I apologize for that.” He added. “Besides, I think you got your revenge.” Aaron just laughed a bit.

Sean was dumbfounded that this was the same guy who once picked on him. This butch burly man that humiliated him. Even if he got some s****l revenge that night in the garden at their house, he still felt hurt. It’s been years that they’ve seen one another. Last he heard from Michelle is that he moved to Jo-burg and that he got married, but she neclegted to tell him that he was married to a man. He would have never thaught that this man would climb out off the closet. “How strange can this life be?” he tought. “You think you know what the truth is, then you are caught, totally off guard by the reality.”

“Would you guys like to join us for lunch afterwards?” Aaron invited them both.

Sean wanted to politely decline, but Kyle interrupted him “that would be wonderful, thank you.” Sean was completely disoriented with what had just happened. Between this new Aaron that is standing before him and Kyle that suddenly changed his mood to hang out with another couple, his head was spinning. He was not sure what to think or how to react to this total twist in these unexpected events.

The day was long, but it did not feel like it. As promised, Sean did not laugh when Kyle almost fell from the horse which made a sudden move as he was struggling to find his balance. Sean was there with him, supportive. Meeting Alex and seeing Aaron again was a strange encounter, yet having lunch with them proved to be joyfull. Sean noticed the way that they look at each other. It was a look like nothing else in this world mattered. He knew that what hey have is the same that he hoped to share with Kyle someday. The afternoon’s absailing was a different story. With both Sean and Kyle having a fear of heights, it took a lot of convincing and cheering from the crowd to finally lower themselves over the edge of the cliff. Reaching the bottom, that adrenaline rush was an amazing feeling. It was thrilling. Sean felt alive; the same way Kyle made him feel by just being with him.