11

facing the uncertainty

chapter 5

If it was possible,I would have delayed the hands of time for my shift not to end, at least,what awaits me at home will still wait until maybe miracle will happen for me, unfortunately,time was racing and I have only two hours left to hide at work,not really busy at that moment as there was not much things to do to occupy my mind with, this led to me thinking,wondering why I should be in this emotional torment when I should be feeling good after helping someone in self inflicted danger.

The words of my friend jide came flooding back to me, "kasie what were you thinking,I have warned you to stop this your good person stuff,this world doesn't need it anymore, good people don't last in this part of the world",I don't know how true his statement is but looking at my life story,the above statement seems true, life have not been fair to me,yes , it is said that one should not praise or rate themselves but I have been honest in all my dealings with people I come in contact with but instead of reaping the reward of being a good man as all that has had one thing or the other to do with me would describe me, I only get stagnation and rejection.

I have been the cashier in the hotel I work for over six years but the hotel have hired more than ten accountants who end up embezzling the company's funds, currently we don't have an accountant making me double as cashier and accountant,the management have repeatedly praised me for my honesty and dedication but can't reward me with the permanent position of the accountant neither have they increased my salary paying me 60k since I joined them.

With 60k salary I have not been able to keep a steady relationship,once again I might be wrong but from the over five relationships I have been into,all ended because of my financial status,all of the ladies I dated sacrificed true love for already made or luxury life,they would confess that I am a man no woman would want to lose yet dump me.

I have always believed that ladies love care , pampering and attention of which they enjoyed and acknowledged yet break my heart and move to already made guys,if there is any way I can trade my kind heart for at least a little brutal one I would be the happiest man alive,I can not even learn from friends who were more than willing to teach me how to use and dump ladies, my innocent heart won't let me, I always imagined how they would cope with the excruciating torment which is capable of leading one to suicide,consoling myself, I would say, since God has given me a strong shock absorber, I rather be taking the heart breaks than break a lady's heart who will definitely not be as strong as I am to endure it.

For the two hours remaining for my shift to end,the above thoughts consumed it all and it's time to go home and there's nothing to more to add more time, I don't keep much friends neither do I like late nights, I had to go home and face whatever awaits me there, the one hour thirty minutes home journey ended within forty-five minutes as the road surprisingly was traffic free, I said to myself,devil at work, luckily for me , I got home to see that the lady has gone with the breakfast untouched, was I truly lucky or is there an ambush waiting for me, within five minutes I entered, a loud bang came to my door.