Hold Me Close

Chapter 1-2

Maggie stared out the window as Shane took streets through the city to get her to her mom’s house. Asking him to pick her up had been a good choice. She could’ve asked Moira, but her sister would try to talk her out of her plan. Shane was the best listener she’d ever known. He’d proven it again today. The guy even remembered the name of her therapist. Who did that?

Shane. Always Shane. He’d been there for her through the good and the really, really bad. Even when it was hard, and she’d tried to push him away because she didn’t think she could be around any guy after being r***d, he stayed. Not in an obnoxious I know what’s best for you way, but in an I care about you way. Without him, she probably never would have had the guts to travel.

After he pulled up in front of her mom’s house, he put the truck in park but didn’t turn off the ignition.

“Coming in?”

He let out a small chuckle. “You decided to come home without telling your family. Then you had me pick you up from the airport. They’re going to have plenty to say, and I don’t want to be caught in the crossfire. I think I’ll head home.”

“Chicken.”

“Smart.”

“Whatever.” She yanked on the handle and jumped from the cab.

Shane met her and grabbed her suitcase. After setting it on the curb at her feet, he held her hand. “I’m glad you’re finally home.”

“You’re gonna get sick of me.”

“Never.” He slammed the door. “Give me a call if you want to get together later.”

“My family will probably fill my night. And then some. I’ll call when I need to escape.” She hefted the bag and stared at the front door. Although she knew Shane had gotten back behind the wheel, the truck didn’t move.

Of course he’d wait for her to go inside. She waved at Shane and walked up the steps. The last time she’d made this trip, she entered a living room filled with her siblings all crying. Their mother had had a heart attack and was in the hospital. The whole episode made Maggie realize how much she was missing. Not just for herself, but with her family.

As the youngest, she’d always been able to count on having her family there. It had never occurred to her that at some point they might not be. She turned the knob on the door and found resistance. She fished out her keys and let herself in.

With the door closed at her back she paused and took a slow inhale. No dinner smells. And quiet. She couldn’t remember a time when home was quiet.

“Mom?” she called, hoping her mom was there.

“What? Who is it?”

A relieved sigh joined the smile on her face. “It’s me, Maggie.”

She turned the corner and walked through the living room and dining room. Her mother stood at the door to the kitchen. The teacup in her hand shook. Maybe a surprise homecoming wasn’t the best idea.

“What’s wrong?” Eileen asked.

“Nothing. I’m home. For good.”

Her mom set her tea on the table. “When did this come about? And without so much as a phone call.”

Maggie hugged her mom and breathed in the scents of Jean Naté cologne and Estée Lauder makeup. Mom gave her a quick pat on the back.

“How do you feel?” she asked Eileen.

“Fine. Same as I have been every time you’ve asked. I’ve had enough of the coddling.” She took up her cup again and sipped before sitting at the dining room table.

Yeah, Mom was back to herself. Even with regular reports from her siblings about Mom being fine, nothing could replace experiencing it. She sat adjacent to Eileen. “Is it okay if I move back in for a while? It’ll only be for a little bit until I figure out what I’m doing next.”

“Of course. I have this big house all to myself.”

“Thanks.”

Her mom stared at her with narrowed eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Then why are you home?”

“It was time.”

“Psh. You came back because of my trip to the doctor.”

“That was part of it. I’m worried about you, Mom.”

“I told you, no need.” She pressed her lips so tightly, the pink line of lipstick disappeared.

“I needed to come home. I had a great time in Ireland, but it’s time to move on. I need to start making a life for myself. Figure out who I am and what I want.”

Her mother gave her one sharp nod in response.

“I’m going to go unpack.”

“I’ll make dinner.”

Maggie tried not to roll her eyes. She knew her mom would be on the phone as soon as Maggie’s foot hit the bottom step to go up to her old bedroom. “Can you tell them to give me a day before they descend?”

Her mom didn’t answer, and Maggie knew she didn’t have a chance. She lugged her suitcase upstairs and stood in the middle of her bedroom, the same bedroom she’d shared with Moira for years. Many of her things were still there, but there was no sign of Moira.

She tossed her bag on the bed and sat beside it. Would she want to live alone? Sure, she’d done it briefly. But even that hadn’t been really living alone. She’d lived in an apartment above the bar. Her brothers worked downstairs. She always had family around.

Was that a good thing? Or bad? She made a mental note to add that to the list of questions to talk to Dr. Janzen about. She got up and started putting away her clothes. Everything was exactly where she’d left it. It was as if no one had stepped foot in the room since she left a year and half ago.

As much as things didn’t change here, so many others had. At Christmas, she’d been surrounded by her brothers and sister who had all fallen in love. She felt as if she’d missed out on something. It felt like waking from a dream, feeling like she was the same person but she’d time traveled. Everyone else was different.

It was another reason she was glad she’d seen Shane first. He was the same old Shane he’d always been. She liked being able to count on some things.

Just like when she heard a loud noise downstairs, she knew her big sister had come over. Knowing Moira, she beat everyone else there. Moments later, pounding on steps let her know Moira was too impatient to wait for her to come down.

“Maggie!” she screamed from the doorway. She squeezed her in a tight hug. When she let go, Moira tried for an angry look, but Maggie wasn’t buying it. “Why didn’t you tell us you were coming home?”

“Because I didn’t want anyone making a big deal out of it.”

Moira crossed her arms, which pushed her big boobs up, emphasizing them even more. Maggie wished she had a little more in that department. Moira had gotten more than her fair share. “So why are you home?”

“Why is everyone so suspicious? I’ve been gone for over a year. I figured you’d all be happy I came back.”

“We are. But you always seemed happy when we talked. Did something happen?”

“No. Except Mom having a heart attack. That was a wake-up call. She’s not going to be here forever.” Maggie paused and debated how much she should tell Moira.

Moira threw her arms around Maggie again. “I’m so glad you’re home. I missed you and I don’t really care why you decided to come back as long as you’re happy.”

“I’m getting there. I’m at least trying.”

“I’m here if you want to talk.”

“Not yet. But soon.” Maggie pulled away. “So how long do I have until everyone else shows up?”

Moira wrinkled up her nose. “Ryan and Quinn are on their way. So are Colin and Liam.”

Maggie rolled her eyes. So much for having a day.

Moira nudged her shoulder. “At least Michael’s on at the fire house, so he won’t be coming.”

“Whatever. You know this means Mom’s cooking for everyone. You can do the dishes.”

Hooking her arm though Maggie’s, Moira turned them toward the stairs. “Only if you help.”

As much as she wanted to be irritated, Maggie couldn’t be. It felt too good to be home. Knowing that it was real, not just a brief holiday visit, but really digging back in at home with her family was nice. Traveling had been a great adventure, but it couldn’t top the stability of her family.

She followed Moira down the narrow, winding steps and wondered how many trips she’d made up and down this staircase. The scarred wood and smudged wall looked the same as it had her entire life.

They reflected how she felt. Damaged, but comfortable.