Her

Who are we?

 As I entered the bathroom I stopped to turn the water up in the small shower as hot as it can go. I slowly undress as I wait for the water to heat up. I take out my high pony and watch in the bathroom mirror as my raven hair falls around my shoulders. Observant. Taking a peak at every inch of my body. Tears fall from my eyes as I realize.... he’s right. I am a cow. How can I compete much less win when I’m so huge ? Who’s gonna want to watch a fatty twirl around ? Should I call Gen and tell her I just can’t ? My gaze lingers on my face, my full lips and almond eyes. The mirror begins to fog and my reflection fades away from me. I cry silently as the steam slowly makes me disappear. 

No. 

With that single word in mind I jump in the shower letting the hot water take my tears away. No. No. No. I will do what I have to. I will work harder than I have before. I will not give up. 

I  finish up getting ready for bed and climb numblessly into the bed with Jared. He’s already asleep and I find myself thinking about us. 

We met when I was 16 and Jared was 19. My parents already hated him because he was older than I was, and told me I wasn’t allowed to be with him. Of course being a teenager this only fueled me to pursue him more. At first, it was puppy love. We couldn't get enough of each other. Now I’m 21. How the time has passed.... I finished college in my home state and during my last year Jared moved several states away to where his family is. As soon as I finished I moved as well. He was incredibly happy and insisted this move is what we needed. 

Maybe, it is. After all I found this incredible dance studio and fit right in with the girls and instructor so quickly. Only after 6 months I was being chosen for this honor. 

Remembering my accomplishment I smiled. I reached my hand over and placed on my boyfriend, feeling grateful and hopeful for our future. He sighed in his sleep and swatted me away, he was never big on cuddling. I smirked and rolled over, today was a long day. 

I woke up at 5 am to my blaring alarm, I rushed and packed my bag with all the necessities for dance later on. I changed quickly into my itchy pink polo and jeans and grabbed my purse. Looking over at Jared still sleeping and drooling. Bus it is… I resigned myself to the thought and ran out of the room hoping to get down the street fast enough to get the 530 line. Walking determinedly, charging forward I felt the same irritation I felt every morning. I dont know why he wont let me drive his stupid truck, more times than not I’m the one paying for the full tank of gas. 

The dusty bus approaches and I dig in my pocket for enough quarters to get to work. I sigh as I get on the bus and make my way toward a 10 hour shift at the local diner. 

***

Work was brutal and my feet right now are literally  killing me, the walk from the diner to the dance studio didn't help either . I grab my phone and text Jared really fast, don’t forget me dance should be done  in a few hours. I set down my stuff and start to stretch and I wait for Gen to come. 

Gen walks in a few minutes later as I sit on the ground trying desperately to stretch out my sore feet. She offers me a warm smile and I feel at ease, I’m ready for this. I study Gen as she grabs a chair and brings it to the front of the studio. She's in her mid 40’s old enough to be my mother, with wild bright red hair to match her fiery personality. 

“Okay kiddo! I know you’re tired, this is our first session, I want to talk a little about your number.” Gen starts out her hands moving and ponytail flipping excitedly. I feel some relief wash over me, okay no dancing for these sore feet today. 

We spend the next few hours talking and getting to know eachother even better. Gen wants to choreograph my song to my strengths. She has so many ideas and I’m brimming with possibilities.

On my way out I almost crashed into another dancer coming in.

“Sorry!” I squeal instantly embarrassed. 

“Its okay!” The small brunette lets out, she's super tiny and asian. I look down at her and think I’ve seen her helping teach and lead classes in the past. I nod my head and keep walking already sensing Jared’s annoyance at having to wait.

“Congrats on the solo by the way.” She yells, I turn to mutter thank you before she continues talking.

“Gen asked all of us senior girls who should do it and I said you. So I mean you kind of owe me. If i didn't say anything she probably would have chosen you.” She turns on her heel and pushes into the door. 

I roll my eyes and head to the already waiting truck. 

“Finally.” Jared says as I climb into the truck, he slams it into drive as we peel out of the parking lot like always.

When we get home I realize I’m starving, Jared sits on the couch and plays his playstation games like always. I heat up a microwave meal and stuff it down quickly. When I’m done I throw away the carton and toss the fork in the sink, I rush to the bathroom to shower and change for bed so I can get ready to do it all again tomorrow. 

I get out of the shower and check the kitchen to see if Jared is ready to go to sleep. 

“Who left the fork in the sink?” He asks me. 

“I did.” I replied “ But babe I wanted to ask you if we can work something out so i can borrow the truck on days you aren't working, I am the one who has been putting the gas.” 

“ Shut the f**k up.” He yells. My eyes went wide, and I realized I made a mistake. 

“You’re so f*****g disgusting leaving your mess everywhere.” He picks up the fork, the culprit, and slams it in the sink. 

“I have to clean up your messa and you want to throw money in my face?” He bellows, taking a step toward me.

“ It's just a fork!” I yell at the top of my lungs. Suddenly I’m on the floor, I don’t know how I got here. Until I feel the sting on my face. He slapped me! Over a fork? 

“You’re crazy!” I sob and I try to stand up, he pulls back and kicks me in the ribs. I hold my side in pain as I watch him walk away. 

I don't even know what just happened, I lay on the floor for hours. Finally I pull myself off the floor and go to sleep on the couch all i feel is numb and empty. What just happened?...