Equilibrium

Chapter Thirteen

Everything is quiet. It is the dead of night, so I suppose it is to be expected. I don't know what has woken me up, and for a few minutes I lie in absolute silence, silence that presses against my ears and makes me want to yell, and then through the murky haze of sleep it hits me.

I am alone. Nehemiah is not curled around me and the bed feels...colder. I sit up, but he is not on the couch, the window seat, or the floor. I know I am alone.

There are soft voices coming from the direction of the door.

"Sir? There was an attack on Genika. It was not us." I hear the muffled voice through the wall and it draws me to my feet. An attack on Genika? Fear fires through me and I feel my pulse quicken.

"Have you informed my father?" Nehemiah demands, and the soldier gives his answer silently, because I do not hear it.

"I will tell her. Prepare a company. We leave immediately." He instructs and I do not move until he closes the door. He is not surprised to see me standing up, wide awake.

"Get dressed. There is no news yet on whether anyone was hurt." He hands me one of his cloaks, a heavy black one lined with soft, downy feathers. There is a gold cord as a drawstring. I do not need to be told twice and I choose a simple, yet elegant blue dress with red embroidery. I fasten the cloak over it and I know that it will keep back the bite of the cold. Winter is fast approaching.

Nehemiah is waiting for me just outside of the door. He takes my hand--which startles me just a little--and draws me close to his side. He keeps one arm around me. He guides me swiftly through the halls and down the stairs, muttering to himself. At the entrance of the palace one of his guards greets him and passes him his sword, which he takes without a word. There are nearly twenty horses awaiting us and only one of them has no rider. I do not question it. Nehemiah helps me mount first, and then he mounts behind me. He holds onto the saddle horn in front of me, effectively providing a means for me to stay firmly on the saddle. I am relieved--despite my fear, my body is physically exhausted. My arm aches at the thought of trying to hold to the saddle. I lean back against his chest and his only response is to hold me tighter. Something deep inside me curls and I feel myself blush.

"We will be there before morning to assess the damage and determine who attacked." He murmurs, and I am acutely aware of his presence, all around me. When the horse, a strong roan, lurches into a gallop, I am even more thankful for his presence. I do not have to hold on too tightly and his chest is something I can lean against. For the first few minutes he holds tight to the saddle horn with both hands, but after a little while he releases one hand and he wraps it around my waist instead. He leans down closer to my ear.

"Rest, Emmaline. You'll need it." His breath tickles and his voice is a comforting hum.

Unfortunately, after that, I am wide awake. His fingers are splayed across my stomach and his heartbeat is steady in my ears. I focus on it, memorize it. It keeps the panic at bay. At one point he flexes his fingers seemingly out of curiosity, pressing gently against my stomach, but then he stops.

Nehemiah is right about our arrival. We reach the palace walls of Genika a half hour before sunrise. Yes, technically it is morning, but in Genika, we only count morning as the sun's ascent. My muscles are stiff and cramped from riding for so long and Nehemiah has to steady me when my feet hit the ground and I stumble. He even goes as far as to reach around me to my other arm so as to avoid my injured one. I shake it off when Darlene runs out to meet us, as fast as she can, and I embrace her tightly.

"Where is my mother?" I inquire, softly, forcing both my expression and my tone to be blank.

"Emmaline...she is still in the infirmary. They are trying to help her now." Darlene hugs me a little tighter as she says it and I feel cold, despite Nehemiah's cloak. "They don't know if she will last the morning."