Lost Life

Chapter 3

As we reached there doctor was waiting for us by the door to the room he briefly described us all the pros and cons he told that my mother got shot 4 times she was in the passenger seat and mr jack who was driving the car shot with 6 bullets they both were in critical condition. My mother couldn't breath properly soo they were giving her life support system bullets were in dangerous places and they both lost lots of blood. Doctor told us to stay strong, wait and hope for them best.

I was in shocked stareing blankly at the door from which the doctor came and now disappeared in it. Hours passes we all were waiting for any news. I just don't want to loss my mother she meant the world to me my only family i was just keep chanting and chanting to God for saving my mother's life. I was hpoing he would listen to me this time.

I wanted to show mom the world to make her happy all the incidents accidents moments of happiness sadness her voice everything was screaming in mind i didn't know when i started the only thing i don't want at this time my panic attack strikes tears started falling from my eyes and were not stopping i couldn't breathe and there was no one to help me here it was a private section. So Mr Jack's bodyguards were told to wait outside and to don't disturb or make any scene here.

Rose was gone to cafeteria to fetch something for us to eat she said your mother will feel bad if she sees me in this condition so i need to eat something and stay strong. I told her i don't want anything not feeling have smth but she insist. Ric went to clear the accounts. And also to talk with cops for the matter who did this. And to find the culprit.

So here i was getting one of the worst nightmare of my life. Panic attack(PA) it was not some common panic attack. When i first got PA i was with Rose we were in school when smth terrible happened i don't want to talk about it, never in my life i want to experience that thing again. The reason which triggered my this condition. When ever i got too much or should i say at the height of some stress anxiety fear or tension. I got freeze. I just couldn't move that's the worst part of my illness. It only happened 2 times in my life 1st time rose was there for me so she managed 2nd when i was in my room and had a nightmare at the night of my 15th birthday i didn't know what to do so i tried to play some music. My doctor suggested me to listen it. Some smoothing sound to ease the tension in my body and to relax my heart.

The night of my 15th birthday when i was alone and no one was there to help i grabbed my phone and randomly tried to play some music

But accidentally hit some podcast it was all in flash that i dont knew what was happening i was trying to relax i thought it'll be the end but as soon as it was weighting me down there was a voice from my phone which was laying flat on the floor. There was smth different in the air as soon that voice reached my ears smth happened. Don't know who he was or what he was saying but his voice just played some magic on me and the fact, that i was trying to control my breathing his soft yet dominated voice did.

Whatever he was saying i just don't want him to stop i wanted to play it on loop believe me i couldn't make one word but still his sound brought calmness in me for good 8 minutes he was talking with that podcast guy and i wass listening sitting in my bed and my phone on the floor. I was watching myself in the mirror that was fixed at the right side of my bed. I don't know how my mother knew that i wanted a mirror beside my bed so she just gifted me with this, one day earlier on my 15th birthday. Staring at the girl whose eyes were blood shot nose were red face was swollen she was looking like a person who just finished a marathon. I just couldn't recognized myself. It was really bad night. Next morning i didn't remembered when i fell asleep and when my phone turned off.

But that voice stayed with me.

There's a saying that nothing stays too long just like that quote his voice faded from my mind i also didn't try to search it or find who he was i don't know what made me stop but it did which I'm thankful i never searched for him.

After 2 years i was sitting alone again in the lobby of some private section of some hospital whose name i still don't know.

Reaching for my phone nd found nothing but empty pockets. I knew situation is worse but I'll not quit no matter how hard life will hit me I'll give it back to it. That's was my 1st and most important rule that i made in my life.

Tried to relax myself by closing my eyes i was reconnecting with my happy memories but it wasn't working. With every passing second it was getting hard to breath. The exhaustion of whole day the trauma of losing my mother, all came running like a flood. I felt it. Felt my body giving up my mind shutting every thing, my fingers were getting limp. I want to keep fighting but my body was giving up losing hope. I was getting in slumber sleep i knew i was falling from the chairs with a little bit of awareness i knew my head was about to hit the floor really hard.

But it never did and then the night of my 15th birthday that voice started playing in my mind. I thought i just imagined it but then Someone was asking me if I'm okay? Calling me, gently touching my face. That voice seems concerned and quite similar also but i couldn't make more of it because sleep took over me completely.

I open my eyes and found myself on hospital bed was about to rub my eyes when i saw Rose sitting next to me grabbing my hand sleeping and snoring lightly. I knew she snor in her sleep but she never accepted i wish i could have my phone with me so that i can record this. I was smiling wheen i remeber why we were here. Don't want to wake rose up i slowly started removing my hand but it did wake her up. She smiled softly and i loss it one tear dropped then 2nd and i didn't want them to stop i just want that pain to go i cried and cried rose was there to console me but it feel strange as if someone else is here too. But i was so much torn didn't bothered to look up. Rose was hugging me tightly only thing i needed the most right now. I plead her to do smth any thing to save my mother. She was silent. Wasn't saying anything i was afraid to look in her eyes because i knew that look i knew what she'll say so i just hugged her more tightly finfing some comfort but it never found me.

When i pulled back from rose. She was rubbing my back looking in to my eyes, she said everthing will be okay. Even if it's not yet then one day Everything will be okay. I don't know why but it did gave me comfront i knew she is saying the truth. Because my mom once told me,

"Hardships is the main ingredient of life if it's not there then there's no life".

No main ingredient no good recipe

I believed mom then, and i believed rose now. I gave a thankful smile and suddenly RIc came rushing in our room the look of panic in his eyes says all. I just knew instantly that smth happened to my mother because RIc knows everything

Pov of being the right hand of my Stepdad he knew everything RIC was the perfect father figure like person in my life. He cared for me sometimes lied to Mr Jack to save me from trouble. Helping me doing homework when there was no one. He is gem of a person i respect him.

And he knows i loved my mother more than anything. We started running down the corridor where my mother's room is i was following Ric when suddenly i felt someone it felt weird but it did calm my senses i stopped it felt like someone is watching me but there was no time to waste so I started follow Ric again. We went straight to the room. Doctors were surrounding my mother's bed. I walk towards her bed and seen doctors have some remorse expressions on their faces. The doctor who told us to pray turn towards me and said, the those words I hated the most

We're sorry for your loss.

I just couldn't stopped myself i launched myself at the doctor started hitting him all the damn anger frustration emotions i was feeling rushed throu me. I was feeling like at any moment i would brust like I'll kill each and every person present in this room. I lost it. I knew i lost everything that was dear to me.

I knew i lost my life.