What I Want

Chapter 11

Haden

My heart held so much sadness for Ivory. I was hurt because I saw the look in my dad's eyes. He looked at her with disgust and disbelief, like she wasn't worth anything. Two weeks had passed since the party and everything had settled. But there was this feeling that hung over the air. The feeling that Aubrey is the most hurt out of us all. She was suffering silently. 

She hadn't left the confines of her room since that party. She ordered our new maid, Lucia, to deliver food to her upstairs everyday. Lucia was a 45 year old woman with kind brown eyes, black hair with grey streaks and a plump figure.

Currently sitting in the kitchen I slowly ate my breakfast, my mind often wandering back to Aubrey. Is she okay? After what happened between her and her brother, she seemed to be in a daze.

After eating I strode upstairs and knocked on the door. I couldn't care less about Aubrey but the least I could do is check on her.

"Aubrey. Open up." I called only to be greeted with no response.

I was starting to get impatient. What the hell is wrong with her?

I banged on the door even louder.

"Aubrey. Open the damn door!" I barked.

There was absolutely no response. I just heard silence from the other side. That's it!

"Lucia, please bring the spare key in the kitchen for Aubrey's door." I commanded.

A few minutes later Lucia came with the keys and passed them to me.

"What's wrong sir?" She asked in a deep Hispanic accent.

"I want to check on her. I haven't seen her in a while."

Guilt and sympathy flashed in Lucia's eyes which left me confused for a moment.

"Sir... Aubrey hasn't been doing so great. She begged me not to tell you."

"What's wrong with her?"

"She hasn't been eating. Yesterday I dropped off dinner for her and I forgot to give her a glass of water. When I came back to her room, I saw her flushing the food. She begged me not to inform you of it."

"Is she crazy?" I yelled.

I pushed the key into the door and unlocked it. My stomach clenched at the sight and Lucia let out a gasp. Aubrey lay on the bed, her face pale, eyes closed and lying in a pool of her own blood.

"Call an ambulance Lucia," I said as I ran to Aubrey. She had gotten visibly thinner. Blood oozed out of her arms which had a deep slice in it. 

Tears stung in my eyes as I held her and tried my best to stop the blood that poured out of her arms. 

"Aubrey, please stay with me." I croaked. This can't be happening. I didn't want this to happen to her.

Within minutes the paramedics had arrived. They rushed up the stairs and boarded her unto the stretcher. On the dresser, I noticed several letters which I grabbed and got into the ambulance.

I called Aubrey's parents and informed them of the bad news. I told them to meet me at the hospital. I texted Vincent to meet me there because I really needed someone to talk to.

They rushed Aubrey to the emergency room and I waited in the lobby. I felt restless as I paced the area. I don't know what to think. How could she do this? 

Vincent arrived shortly after and put his hand over my shoulder.

"What happened?'' He inquired, a confused look gracing his features.

"Its Aubrey, she tried to end her life Vincent. I found her in a pool of her own blood. She was so pale and frail in my arms. If I hadn't gone in there she would've been-" I couldn't finish my sentence those words were too painful to say.

"I can't believe it, Haden. Tell me that's not true. Tell me that's not f*****g true." Vincent yelled as he punched the wall and muttered a string of profanities. 

"Why would she do this? Doesn't she know that her life is valuable? Doesn't she know that people care about her." Vincent yelled as people looked at him like he had gone crazy, some bore looks of sympathy as well as they watched him pace the room.

"Calm down Vincent. I know its bad but we have to believe that she will be okay." I tried to console him but even I was finding it hard to believe my own words.

"I need some fresh air." He muttered as he strode outside.

I dipped my hand in my pocket and found the letters. There was one for  Blake and I. I opened mine and began to read.

Haden,

               I'm sorry about everything I put you through. I never intended to hurt you, that was never my aim, that's not what I wanted. I just wanted to love you and make you the happiest man alive. I see now that's not going to be possible. I see the way you look at Ivory and it hurts to know that we will never have something like that. I see now that you would always want her in your life. Despite the way you act towards me and all the mean stuff you say, I really thought that maybe, just maybe you'd consider trying to make this marriage work between us but now I see that will never happen. I'm just your problem and I know that you will never be happy once I'm here. So, I've decided to set you free. There's no way out of this marriage and I'm not about to let you suffer for the next three years. I'm giving up my life so you can be happy. No one wants me around anyway so it would be like I didn't exist. You and Ivory can both have a happy life along with your baby on the way. You guys would be the perfect family and I want you to know that I am happy for you. I'm sorry and I hope you forgive me for making you wait so long. I just finally found the courage to do this. I hope you and Ivory get married and build the life you deserve. Don't hurt her the way you hurt me. I know you'll treat her well. Please tell Vincent I'm sorry about everything. I didn't have the guts to reach out to him because I knew he'd try to stop me. I always wanted you to be happy, now here's your chance. Have a good life Haden. I love you. 

                                                                                                                             Aubrey.

I hadn't realized tears were pouring down my face as I read this letter. She loves me, after all I did to her, she loves me. 

Vincent strode inside and sat next to me. I passed him the letter without saying a single word. We sat in silence as he read the letter. When he was done , he turned and looked at me with disgust in his eyes. I was ashamed of myself. I pushed her to the edge.

"She loves me, Vincent." 

"Anyone can see that Haden and you treated her like she was nothing. She doesn't deserve this." Vincent whispered. 

"I'm sorry." 

Vincent sighed and put his hand on my shoulder.

"You screwed up big time but at least you can learn from your mistake. Aubrey is damaged and her concept of life and love is disfigured. She will need time to heal and you will have to be here for her."

"What about Ivory? She needs me too." I admitted and Vincent rolled his eyes.

"Ivory needs you, yes, but Aubrey needs you, even more, she's emotionally unstable right now. She can be triggered easily now that she has actually attempted ending her own life. She'll need all the support she can get. "

I had no response for Vincent because I knew he was right about everything.

A couple of minutes later my parents, Aubrey's parents, Emma and Blake had arrived.

After relaying all the information I got to them, we all sat in the lobby in complete silence. I dipped into my pocket and revealed the letter to Blake, which he anxiously took, and walked outside.

"What was she thinking?" Aubrey's mom cried as Emma rubbed her back.

The doctor entered the room and we all stood on impulse.

"Is this Aubrey's family?" The doctor asked and we nodded.

" Aubrey will be okay. She received stitches that will leave scarring and I will recommend medication that she can use to remove the scars. I also want her to start therapy when she is recovering. Suicide is a very serious problem and it is often recognized when it's too late. You all will need to be close to her during her recovery period to ensure that it doesn't happen again. As for her pale skin, this indicates that she wasn't eating, which has to be monitored. Please ensure that she has 3 meals a day and that she consumes the right amount of iron. She is anemic which also took a toll on her health as well. She won't be awake for a few days because she needs to heal." 

"Thank you doctor." Aubrey's dad spoke seeing as the rest of us couldn't speak.

"Would you like to see her now?" The doctor asked and we nodded.

Entering the room, my stomach churned and I could hear the soft cries of Aubrey's mom and sister. Her dad was trying to be strong for the both of them.

"My baby. Oh, My baby." Aubrey's mom cried as she held her pale hand.

Aubrey was hooked up to oxygen because she couldn't breathe well on her own and she had a blood transfusion as well. 

After everyone else left the room I stayed. I stayed because I needed to be here with her.  

"Aubrey, I'm so sorry. I know you can't hear me but I really am sorry about everything. I didn't mean for it to go this far. I didn't know that you were hurting this bad. I'm really sorry." I spoke softly.

I kissed her forehead and sat on the chair next to her bed.

"D-Don't..... leave." She muttered in her sleep. 

Usually, I would have stormed out of the room and get as far away from her as I possibly can but not this time. I am going to be here for her.

"I won't."