STANDING GROUND
1051 Words
David’s wearing that smile. The one that looks friendly but isn't. The one that says he owns the space he’s standing in and everyone should admit it.
“ Sarah. What a surprise. ”
His voice carries false warmth. Zainab tugs his arm. Uncomfortable. Good. She should be uncomfortable.
“ David. Zainab. ” I nodded at them both. Cool. Professional. Like my heart isn't trying to claw its way out of my chest.
David’s eyes moved to Amon. To my arm linked through his. His jaw tightens.
“ Making new friends, I see. ”
There’s an edge to his voice. Jealous. Disapproving. Like he still has rights to my choices.
Amon extends his hand. “ Amon Kato. And yes, Sarah’s been kind enough to let me carry her groceries after I revealed coffee to her this morning. ”
His tone is friendly. Disarming. David does n’t shake his hand. Just look at it like it’s defiled.
The personality is deliberate. Public. Designed to establish scale.
Amon lowers his hand. No awkwardness. Just grins.
I want to kiss him for not recoiling.
“ We still need to talk about the house, Sarah. ” David’s speaking directly to me now. Ignoring Amon. “ I’ve been trying to reach you. ”
“ My counsel is handling everything. Communicate with him. ”
My voice is ice. I rehearsed this tone in therapy. Boundaries, Dr. Musoke called them. Protection.
“ Don't be like that. ” David steps near. His voice drops to something that might sound concerned to strangers, but I recognize it as manipulation. “ We were together three years. We can be civil. ”
“ We're being civil. Civil means going through proper legal channels. ”
Zainab tugs his arm harder. “ David, let’s just go. ”
But David isn't done. He is never when he’s losing control of a narrative.
“ I’m upset about you, Sarah. You’re not allowed easily. This whole divorce thing — you’re making opinions out of wrathfulness. Perhaps we should talk, just the two of us, without attorneys and ”
He ganders dismissively at Amon. “ Without distractions. ”
Something snaps inside me.
Months of holding back. Of being polite. Of letting David control how our story gets told.
Not presently.
“ The only decision I made out of wrathfulness was to stay with you as long as I did. ” My voice is steady. Clear. “ Now, if you’ll excuse us, our food is ready. ”
I turned to the vendor. “ Two rolex, please. Extra eggs in mine. ”
David’s face flushes. He’s not used to this Sarah. The one who stands up. The one who doesn't apologize for being.
“ You’re going to lament this,” he says, voice tight. “ When you’re done playing an independent woman, don't come crawling back. ”
Amon way slightly in front of me. Not hanging . Just present.
“ I suppose the lady asked you to leave. ”
For a moment, it looked like David might escalate. Also, Zainab succeeds in pulling him down. They vanish into the request crowd.
The pressure breaks.
I realize I’m shaking. My breathing is shallow. Vision narrowing.
No. Not then. Not now.
Amon guides me to a nearby chair. “ Sit. Breathe. I’ll get the rolex. ”
I sit. Head in hands. The request continues around me but I feel aquatic. My chest is tight. Everything is tight.
fear attack.
Amon returns snappily. Crouches in front of me. Opens a water bottle.
“ Sarah, look at me. ”
I lift my head. My eyes won't concentrate. Everything is scary.
“ You’re okay. You’re safe. That guy is gone. Breathe with me. In for four.
He breathes slowly, counting. I try to follow.
“ Hold for four, out for four ”
We breathe together. Formerly. Doubly. Three times.
Slowly, I come back. Color returns. My vision clears.
I look at Amon with something like wonder. He knew what to do. He stayed.
“ Thank you. ”
“ Panic attacks? ”
I nod. Embarrassed.
“ Since the divorce. My therapist says they’ll get better. ”
“ They will. Mine did. ”
I look up sprucely. “ You get panic attacks? ”
“ Used to. ” He sits beside me on the ground. Unwraps a rolex. “ When I first quit my commercial job to do art full-time. Thought I was dying every time. ”
He takes a bite. Continues talking casually. Giving me space to recover without pressure.
The worst one was at my first gallery coaching. Five people showed up. Three were family. I locked myself in the restroom and hyperventilated for twenty twinkles. ”
I find myself smiling despite everything. “ What did your sister say? ”
“ That fear means you watch. That only people who want something real get fear attacks about it. People who don't watch? They sleep just fine. ”
That lands hard. I unwrap my rolex slowly.
“ I watch too important. That’s always been my problem. ”
“ That’s never a problem. That’s the best thing about you. ”
I look at him. This man I met six hours ago who never sees me more easily than people who’ve known me for years.
“ You don't know me. ”
“ Not yet. But I’d like to. ”
We sit in the request as evening deepens. Eating rolex. Not saying much. Just being.
For the first time in months, I didn't feel alone.
It terrifies me nearly as importantly as it comforts me.
My phone buzzes. David’s textbook That was disturbing. You and some starving artist? Really, Sarah?
I gawk at the communication. I also do commodities I’ve never done before.
I blocked his number.
The act feels both intimidating and liberating.
Amon notices my expression. “ Everything okay? ”
I put my phone down. Take a deliberate bite of Rolex.
“ It'll be. ”
We finish eating. He helps me carry groceries to find a boda- boda. As the motorcycle pulls down, I look back formerly.
Amon is still standing there. Watching me go. His hand raised in a small wave.
I face forward. The wind pulls at my hair.
David’s number is blocked.
Amon’s card is in my pocket.
For the first time in four months, the fear is replaced by something different.
Hope.
Intimidating, insolvable hope.
- Writer
