THE MEET UP

BOUNDARIES

I stare at David’s name on my screen. My heart rate spikes. My throat tightens.

Amon notices incontinently. “ Everything okay? ”

“ It’s my partner. He keeps calling from different numbers. ”

Amon’s expression darkens. Not with jealousy. With concern. “ That’s not okay, Sarah. Is he draining you? ”

“ No. I mean, not really. He just wants to talk. Says Zainab broke up with him and he made a mistake. ”

I declined the call. It incontinently rings again.

“ Do you want to talk to him? ”

Amon asks it precisely. No judgment. Just a genuine question.

I look at him. This man who sees me. Who doesn't try to control me? Who asks rather than assumes?

“ No. I really, really don't. ”

I answer anyway. Put it on a speaker, so Amon can hear. So I have a substantiation. So I’m not alone.

“ What, David ”

“ Sarah, thank God. Hear, we need to meet. In person. I’m outside your apartment right now. I’ve been staying — ”

My blood runs cold. “ You’re WHERE? ”

“ I’m at your structure. I need to see you. We need to talk in person. These phone calls aren't enough. I can explain everything if you just — ”

“ Don't you dare come to my home unasked. ” My voice is shaking. “ We're disassociated, David. Disassociated. That means you don't get to show up whenever you feel like it. ”

People at nearby tables are starting to look. I do n’t care.

“ I’m trying to fix this! Why are you being so delicate? Is someone there with you? Is that why — ”

“ This discussion is over. However, I’m calling the police if you don't leave my building in the next ten minutes. ”

I hang up. My hands are shaking. I looked at Amon, eyes wide with wrathfulness and fear mixed.

“ I'd have to go home. I've to make sure he actually leaves. ”

“ I’m coming with you. ”

“ You don't have to — ”

“ Sarah. I’m coming with you. You’re not facing him alone. ”

I want to argue. Want to prove I can handle this myself. But the truth is, I don't n't want to be alone. I’m tired of being alone.

“ Okay. ”

We leave the café quickly. My coffee untouched. The white rose forgotten on the table.

The boda- boda lift to my apartment feels eternal. I sit rigid behind the motorist, Amon on another bike following. My mind races with scripts. What if David’s still there? What if he makes a scene? What if —

He’s still there.

Standing by his sleek black Mercedes. Arms crossed. Looking tone-righteous and wounded.

I climb off the boda- boda. Amon arrives seconds later, immediately at my side.

David’s expression shifts when he sees Amon. Surprise. Also wrathfulness.

“ So this is why you won't talk to me? You’re already f*****g someone new? ”

The words are designed to hurt. To shame. To make me small.

They don't work presently.

“ That’s none of your business. You need to leave. ”

“ We were married for three years, Sarah. That gives me the right to — ”

“ It gives you nothing! ” My voice rises. I’m apprehensive of neighbors on sundecks now. Mrs. Nabunjo from upstairs was watching with concern. I don't care. “ You gave up all rights when you cheated. When you prevaricated. When you made me feel crazy for noticing. Leave. Now. ”

David's way toward me. Amon immediately moves between us. Not aggressive. Just present. A physical boundary.

“ She asked you to leave. ”

David’s hands gripped into fists. For a moment, I suppose he might actually swing. Also, Mrs. Nabunjo calls down from her deck.

“ Sarah? Oli bulungi? Should I call the police? ”

David realizes he has an audience. His mask of wounded ex-husband slips. The real David underneath — petty, vengeful, small.

“ Fine. FINE. But don't come for to me when this fantasy falls piecemeal. You’re making a huge mistake, Sarah. ”

He gets in his auto. Peels out too fast. Tires howl. Dust rises.

Silence settles.

I stand firmed . Adrenaline still pumping. My hands shake.

Amon doesn't touch me. Just stands near. Present. Patient.

“ You okay? ”

I nod, Also shake my head. Also laugh. It comes out slightly hysterical.

“ I do n’t know. That was — I can n’t believe he just — ”

“ You were inconceivable. ” Amon’s voice is firm. “ You set boundaries. You stood up for yourself. That took real courage. ”

“ I was alarmed. ”

“ Brave people are always alarmed. That’s what makes them brave. ”

I look at him. This man who showed up. Who stood between me and my partner without being asked? Who’s still here?

“ Thank you. For coming with me. For — for everything. ”

“ Always. ”

We stand in the emulsion. The afternoon sun beating down. The normality of the neighborhood continues around us.

I should go outside. Should reuse this. Should be alone with my thoughts.

“ Do you want to come up?” The words escape before I can stop them. “ I need — I don't want to be alone right now. ”

Amon studies my face. Making sure I mean it. Making sure I’m not just replying.

“ Are you sure? ”

“ I’m sure. ”

We go outside. My apartment feels different with him in it. Lower empty. Less like a prison.

I sat on the couch. He sits beside me. Near but not touching.

“ That was your re-husband. ”

“ That was David. Yes. ”

“ He’s an asshole. ”

I laugh. “ He really is. ”

“ You earn better. ”

“ I’m starting to believe that. ”

We sit in comfortable silence. The adrenaline slowly draining. My heart rate returning to normal.

“ Sarah? ”

“ Yeah? ”

“ Can I hold you? Not in a romantic way. Just you’re shaking and I want to help. ”

I nod. Ca n’t speak.

He pulls me against his chest. His arms come around me. Solid, safe-deposit box. Asking nothing.

I let myself be held.

For the first time in years, I let someone hold me without expectation. Without a docket.

I do n’t cry. I just breathe. Let his steadiness anchor me.

“ I’ve got you,” he whispers. “ You’re safe. He’s gone. ”

And I believe him.